The Cat Incognito Authority: I’ve Got Your Back

OK, we’ve got some menacing finches at 2 o’clock. And be wary of those meddling Monarchs at high noon. Stay alert, and most importantly – when I tell you, you move, move, MOVE!

The C.I.A. has never looked so appealing, Melissa S.



  1. Tigress says:

    We all know that cats are hunters…. but a Cabela’s bag? giggle. (Okay, maybe it’s just me.)

  2. Uh oh…Tabby’s been to Cabela’s. Who knows what kind of heat he’s packing in that camo bag?

  3. The cat’s got your back!

  4. javagirl69 says:

    Ooooh..pretty eyes!

  5. i love it! Very cool!!!

  6. Can someone tell me how to get my cat to sit still in a backpack on my back? These pictures are like my DREAM.

  7. I want a cat that rides around on my back. 😦

  8. Illya Katyakin – The Cat from U.N.C.L.E.

  9. camo cat!

  10. sirmook says:

    Kasia: simple, the cat has to want it. There is no other freaking way 😀

  11. lol @sirmook – that is SO true…

  12. @Kasia – I thnk it also helps to start them young. I rescued a kitten from a parking lot and put him in my canvas bag just to keep track of him on the drive home. The zipper was open, so he could’ve jumped out at any time. Instead, he settled down and purred all the way home. Until the day he died as a big, old cat, I had to check all bags to make sure he wasn’t trying to travel with me!

  13. O NO He/she/it DI-unt!!! says:

    ….(sigh) qu’est-ce que quelque chose qui s’appelle “Cabelas”????


    Hopelessly Not part of the In Crowd

    (rolling eyes in resignation)

  14. O NO He/she/it DI-unt!!! says:

    and at T.U.M.

    “NOT” tinytabby “NOT” tinytabby (etc and etc)

    Jus’ sayin’ (mischevious winky-poo)

  15. Went through about 30 pages of pups (which I thoroughly enjoyed) to find this oldie but goodie. Presenting the cat’s counterpart:

  16. I think the question is… did he get the camo backpack to match the cat, or the cat to match the backpack?

  17. @O NO, Cabelas is a large sportings good (aka hiking, camping, boating, fishing, shooting, hunting) company. They have huge retail stores in several locations around the US but are best known for their web site.

  18. victoreia says:

    @marmar: if he’s a properly trained Human Slave, then he bought the backpack to match the cat……

  19. domanato says:

    haha you wish that cat could watch your back…but I bet it’s just as afraid of mice and remote-control mice as this one:

  20. skippymom says:

    I think they are actually hunting the Loch Ness Monster.

  21. In a word, “AWESOME”!!!


  23. Stealthcat is stealth

  24. Love, love, love this.

    As a kid my cat Sidney rode in my backpack. We’d ride my bike to my grandparents with Sidney’s head sticking out. My grandpa would say that the cat and I clearly didn’t know any better.

  25. “…and don’t look now, but there’s a chickadee taking pictures of us.”

    With that camo backpack, this seems like the appropriate post to pop in with a Theo update. 🙂

    Your CO-mod-turned-soldier is now 6 weeks into his Army basic training, with 4 weeks to go until I see him on Family Day at Ft. Jackson (could somebody give my calendar a Fast Forward button, please??). Sunday I got to hear his voice for the first time in 2 weeks (cue the Yay! pic), and he reported that A) he’s already passed the physical fitness test and B) he scored Sharpshooter on his marksmanship test. Soon his platoon will move into White Phase, the final stage of basic training where they put together everything they’ve learned and start doing more advanced training maneuvers.

    He credits his shooting ability to all those hours spent blowing up zombies in the Left 4 Dead game, LOL.

    Not much cuteness reported at Ft. Jackson, alas, but I paste plenty of CO posts into his letters, along with pics of our pets at home, the kids, and occasionally even his wife.

    The funniest excerpt from his letters home:

    >>It feels awkward and vaguely disrespectful to be using the latrine while in uniform. Like maybe a drill sergeant could jump up out of the bowl, saying JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, PRIVATE?! Hasn’t happened so far, though.<<

    In other words, the Army has not defeated his sense of humor. 🙂

    I now return you to your regularly scheduled comment thread.


  27. awesome! where do i sign up!??

  28. I want to pet his fuzzy little nose.

  29. CIA must be desperate to hire cats

  30. I so wish my cats would do this!

  31. Vanilla says:

    Great to hear about Teho! Thank you, Jaye. Hang in there, the time will go by even if it doesn’t fly by. Give him all our best wishes. (To you and your family, too.)

  32. Biscuit Tin says:

    Do the tabby and the bag count as “matchingks?” I think so.

    @Jaye – I was just wondering about Theo today – thanks for the update and many best wishes to you!

  33. Tony James says:

    and, in a parallel universe, anthropologists have found an intriguing document entitled “Diary of G’laktik Cute Truper 1st Klas T. O. Puddinkwerfer”. Fortunately we, the Enlightened & Elucidated Brethren of the Interdimensional Library Loan Service, have been able to obtain extracts of this diary and we bring them to you exclusively in association with Great Green Arkleseizure’s Sinus Draining and Neti-Pot Emporium – remember, folks, if it ain’t Arkleseizure’s then it ain’t snot.

    “Day 1. Arrived at barracks late last night on bus with a dozen or so other fellows. Reveille at Oh Four Hundred today (one wit in my platoon says that the “Oh” stands for “OMG SKWEE!”) and issued with basic kit. Bactine, some shiny sparkly balls, one pair kittinmittins and a military-issue camo lint roller. Our drill instructor (“That’s MISTER Bounce to you, Truper! Now drop and give me 20!”) says that the lint-roller will be our best friend.”

    “Day 6. After almost a week of training we are ready to be issued with our service arms tomorrow. This last week has been intense – we’re woken in the middle of the night by the drill instructor banging his stick in an empty garbage can yelling “Blanket mice, you lousy maggots! Blanket mice! What’s the matter, you sorry excuses for furfanity, you want to live forever?! This isn’t a drill, son – we’ve got blanket mice all over the damn’ perimeter and you want to stay in bed? I swear I’ve never seen a sorrier sack of ‘nip in all my born days!”
    We respect that he has seen it all and wants to make sure that we are prepared for any eventuality, and we fear his bark much more than his bite.”

    “Day 27. We are now well on the way to becoming proficient weapons handlers – even Mr. Bounce is shouting less and sometimes says that in another 10 years or so we might even learn to look like soldiers. We can have our equipment prepped and ready for action in as little as four hours now and there is a new confidence in the section that we can take anything they throw at us.
    We have been encouraged to give our weapons names. As Mr. Bounce says, “The only thing standing between you and the armies of godless heathen greeblingz is your weapon, truper, so you’d better give it a name because it’s the only thing that’s going to give a rat’s ass about your worthless hide when the fur is flying.”
    I’m not sure where the rats come into it but I’m sure we’ll be told. My issued weapon is a 17lb tabby tom which I have named Earnest Stripypants.”

    “Day 32. Now I understand what Mr. Bounce meant about the lint roller being our best friend. After an exhausting 2 hours of ear-skritchies and belly rubs I had to hurry to get ready for inspection. Mr. Bounce found a single white hair stuck to my beret. Result: I had to clean the entire section’s litter trays. I won’t make that mistake again.”

  34. Yay for the cat in the pack and yay for Theo.

  35. MamaLana says:

    What a cutie pie!!!

  36. @Jaye- awesome! His absence is keenly felt, here. All best wishes to him!

  37. kibblenibble says:

    Jaye: Thank you! I second what Theresa just said.

  38. @Fern 😆 Sounds like your dear sweet kitty knew he was with a kind and loving human who would be the one who would give him a loving forever home 😆 that is why he did not jump out of the bag 😆

  39. 😆 camo kitty 😆

  40. Hon Glad says:

    “Hey, I thought K rations would be kibble.”

  41. Hon Glad says:

    Jaye – Thank you for news of Theo 🙂

  42. BStrange says:

    Appropriate post for a Theo update. Thanks, Jaye!

    Perfect black eyeliner, meticulously brushed eyebrows… and is it just a trick of perspective, or is yon camo-tabby HUGE? His head looks gigantic.

  43. Biscuit Tin says:

    @ Tony James “Earnest Stripypants” – excellent. I enjoyed your whole post. =)

  44. catmouflaged backpack

  45. Rachael says:

    Kudos to Tony James!!! Also great Teho update and a camo kitteh, so who could ask for more? Super start to the day.

  46. O NO He/she/it DI-unt!!! says:

    @ Tony James: Ich muste “share with you ” (cannot remember the entire sentence in German so bilingual will hafta do???)

    that my VERY BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE GALAXY refers to Interlibrary Loan NOT AS “Interlibrary Loan” but instead as “InterPlanetary Loan” . Every time he uses the phrase. Even with John Q. Citizen who then regards my friend….with some sudden, severe trepidation.

    That is all. Carry on, troops & civilians.

  47. Sinister kitteh, and thanks for the Arrested Development hovertext!

  48. When tabby cats join up, the immediately get promoted to Sergeant because they’ve already got the stripes on their arms.

    ROFL at Teho’s latrine story! I bet that was the Tidy Bowl Man’s job back when he was in the Navy.

  49. Mod-in-Training says:

    [holey bathrobes, tony, that sounds exactly like the training here at CO! although furlint seems to be tolerated–nay, venerated!–around these parts.

    the best part of the CO training is sitting and staring out the window and waiting for the definition of phrases like “blanket mice” to make sense.

    ‘don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes!’ (something my dad used to say and still does and i still don’t get it) but it seems like a good phrase to remember while you’re in army.


  50. Jaye – thanks for the Teho update! Glad he is doing well and sending the best to him and you and your family (both furry and non-).

  51. M.i.T – actually, if you can see the whites of their eyes, it means they are WAY too close. Not sure that would be a good thing in combat….

  52. TONY JAMES is BACK mofo’s!!!! *waves*

  53. Mod-in-Training says:

    [@BB/VA maybe he was referring to jungle warfare, which doesn’t make sense since he was in the navy and sayings like “don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes” has a pre-viet nam feel to it.

    it also didn’t make sense to say it on my way out the door to high school.


  54. Tony James says:

    Walter MiTty –

    The only thing scarier than blanket mice is in the small watches of the night, when you jump at every tiny sound, and all of a sudden your staff sergeant creeps up behind you and whisper in your ear:
    “Greeblingz out on the wire tonight, son – you can smell ’em, can’t you? Hunkered down in their foxhole, just waiting, watching for you weakness, truper. It’s ohtwohundred and you’ve been awake for 40 hours, you’re crouched over your twin marmies and you’ve got that thousand yard stare. Your eyelids are heavy and your eyeballs are gritty, but you know you can’t fall asleep because otherwise those greeblingz are going to swarm all over the camp and infest your buddies, just because you wanted a little shuteye. You want that to happen, truper?! HUH! What kind of panty-wasted grabass are you bringing to My Beloved Corp, you whining maggot?! I was playing hide-and-seek with blanket mice in Saigon when you were just a gleam in your daddy’s eye, and you’re telling me you’re tired?! You belay that ‘nip and get your kittinmittins squared away and front and center or so help me I WILL use you for kitty-litter. NOW MOVE!”

    There’s an R Lee Ermey personality type in every organisation.

  55. flutterbye says:

    That tabbeh purrito in teh backpack looks vaguely familiar – could he be teh one riding cross-country with the French couple?

  56. M.i.T. – VERY pre-VietNam – it comes from the Battle of Bunker Hill.

  57. anonymous coward says:

    @ “O NO He/she/it DI-unt!!!”:
    better go back to grammar school, you would have failed spelling, grammar and the rest with this one. but then, i must have done the same with mandarin when i was going out with a chinese girl… (no wonder she kept laughing at my attempts to speak some mandarin)

    cabella’s is a store that sells stuff like the “tur duc hen”, which ranks “up there” with baconnaise (the website makes it less appalling than the printed catalog did) and the infamous cheeseburger in a can (i am not making this up).

    it’s like an alternate l.l.bean, afaict…

  58. anonymous coward says:

    oops. that was badly said, methinks. i meant to say the cabella’s printed catalog’s description of the “tur duc hen” compared to what can be read on the cabella’s website. the cheeseburger in a can does not need anything else to be appalling.

  59. Tony James says:

    BB/VA – but did you know that is actually a misquote?

    The Revolutionary War was still in its infancy, although much blood had been spilled by both sides in the conflict. By early summer 1775 the British commanders, in a moment of perspicacity that has long characterised the British fighting man, decided that this was foolishness and that there were far more effective ways of bringing the disagreement to a timely and near conclusion.
    To this end the British commander, General Gage, proposed that he and the Colonial commander, William Prescott, should meet to see what could be ironed out. Both men being reasonable decided that the civilised course of action would be to get together over breakfast and discuss things. Gage volunteered to provide the food, knowing that the Colonial forces were short on rations.

    However, when Prescott mentioned this to the other commanders a couple of them decided to use the opportunity to launch a sneaky, cowardly, and underhanded attack on the British largesse. Thus, the word was passed that the British were coming up the hill, but that the Colonial forces shouldn’t fire until they see “the whites of their eggs”.

    The more you know.

  60. Mod-in-Training says:

    [Sir! Yes, Sir!


  61. Mod-in-Training says:

    [oh, that’s just yolklore.]

  62. fatgrammafinn says:

    the olywa cabelas doesn’t sell cats as original equipment… i wonder what aftermarket cat-alog he shopped from

  63. KatieKat says:

    Right, now, this thread has gotten far too silly! Which of you has looked down the barrel of a loaded Scottish Fold, eh? In addition this post is clearly mocking the new slogan, “It’s the Cat’s Pajamas in the British Army!” /end Monty Python Colonel voice

  64. Tony James says:

    “I know what you’re thinking. “Did he hauk 6 hairballs or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a Fortified Marmie, the most evil-minded kitty in the world, who can hauk a hairball 75 feet, the smell of which would cause you to toss your cookies, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?”

    Well, do ya…punk?

  65. @M.i.T – from one moderator to another…

  66. @Tony James – It actually wouldn’t surprise me too much if there was some truthe to your story. Lots of misquoting in the history books.

    As someone who lives in a town that changed hands between 72 and 84 times (depending on the source you consult) during the Civil War (War Between the States), I do wonder how they managed it. There are historical markers for only 4 battles. I am convinced that every 2-3 weeks, the commanders got together, said, “I am TIRED of dealing with these people, it’s YOUR turn.”

  67. The ultimate traveling cat.
    It reminds me of the story: Three men dressed as cowboys were driving in a pickup truck when they came to a gate. One got out and opened the gate, the truck drove through, he closed the gate and got back into the truck. Which one was the real cowboy?
    The one in the middle. He didn’t have to drive and he didn’t have to open the gate, he just rested. Hmmm…..
    Anyway it seems like a true cat wouldn’t mind it a bit being packed around as he didn’t have to expend any energy to get from point A to point B. Our cats’ natural state is the state of rest.

  68. bookmonstercats says:

    Jaye, thanks for the Teho update. Much love and ginger kitties to you all.

    TJ, Where have you been? “Hunched over your twin marmies”. What a lovely thought.

  69. Mod-in-Training says:


    #121 is especially nice.]

  70. For British eyes only!

  71. Tony James says:

    BookMonster – er…busy?

  72. Yay for a Theo update! Please give him our best!

  73. @Jaye 😀 Glad to hear that Theo is doing ok 😀

  74. I’m pretty sure that saying is from the Battle of the Old North Bridge. It’s also where the “Shot Heard ‘Round the World” came from. I live nearby & love to go to Lexington on April 19th to watch the battles. Unless I’m watching the Marathon