Carl Kicked Himself for Saying, “When am I ever going to need to know this?”

Fuzzy Birds and SS Sailboat begin floating at the same time from opposite ends of a lake that is 30 miles long. Fuzzy Birds are floating at 6mph and SS Sailboat is floating at 10mph. How long after they begin will they meet?

Uh, guys…?

Don’t worry, SS Toy Sailboat, Sender-Inner May-Li K.! E-Birdman.



  1. Venerable Bead says:

    Thank you Prongs for giving me a word problem I can actually DO. If only algebra had used cute animals instead of planes, trains & automobiles.

    The answer is 3 hours, right? Please tell me I’m right.

  2. smiley says:

    downy soft ducklings collide
    midriver but no harm comes;
    floof airbags deploy

  3. smiley says:

    Haiku Revision (Oops!)

    downy soft ducklings
    collide midriver, no harm;
    floof airbags deploy

  4. 260Oakley says:

    It’s easy to solve this problem if you use deducktive reasoning.

  5. ShinyBlueSpaz says:

    I got closer to two…but I suck at math, and my brain is currently dead from finals. On another note, OMG FUZZEHS!!!

  6. irenebenito says:

    1,875 hours, its 1 hour 49 min. 30 seconds. Fuzzy Birds made 11.25 miles, and SS Sailboat made 18.75 miles.

  7. Marie G says:

    oh adorable baby geese 🙂 🙂

    I also wish my math classes used baby birds for problems! I would have probably gotten way better grades!

  8. According to The Far Side, Hell’s library consists entirely of books of word problems.

  9. I will have to “duck” out of this site if I have to solve word problems to see the QT.

  10. that problem neglects to mention variables–like what happens if when SS Toy Boat gets distracted by the bread throwing children.

  11. 260Oakley says:

    I love this fuzzy math stuff.

    (I’ll stop now. Another slooow day in the ol’ cubicle.)

  12. Venerable Bead says:

    *sigh* Thx Irene…you just confirmed what my civil engineer father and I have known since I was 9…math is not my forte. At all.

  13. Katrina says:

    I remember like it was this morning writing “who cares?” on a test paper, in response to one of these questions. It is one of my most cherished moment of defiance. Who the #*&$ cares? OOOOO DUCKIES!!!!!

    BB/VA yes, it is, most certainly.

  14. bailey says:


  15. Hon Glad says:

    I was, no good, not never kno how long is it before it;’w how at math. My reaction to “if a bath fills at 2gallons
    a minute whilst draining at 1 gallon a minute, how long before it’s full” was put the damn plug in hole.

  16. Hon Glad says:

    Falling asleep while typing doen’t help either.

  17. bookmonstercats says:

    260Oakley, please don’t ever stop.

    Hon Glad, I was worried there for a moment…… I probably made the same response to my maths teacher at school as you did. That may well be why I ended up in the remedial maths class.

  18. Snerk… Ohhh Prongs… Once again you have slayed me with the combination picture and story and Roll over text

    Let me add that for this current semester
    of school (Returning to college at 50 Sucks) I think this “when am I ever going to need to know this” over and over every day of my EVIL^2 Statistics class.

  19. This should be right…
    1*60=1hr, 0.875*60=52.5
    1hr 52m 30s

  20. Oh no you all do not know Hell until you have the College algebra 2 (The class you take to get ready for College Math) Class with the Professor I had.

    You know that problem Hon Glad Mentioned

    take that and add an evil twist to the temperature of the water affecting the rate of flow..

    Hon Glad

    LOL I seriously used to think that all the time.. Turn the F&*&^%$ faucet off.

    Probably why I got a C and damn proud of it in that class.

    I believe duckys kittens and puppies would have made it exponentially more fun

  21. if only all of my math questions were illustrated like this in high school! I may have actually payed attentions!

  22. PS I love that the peeps are getting out their math skills for this post!

  23. Rachael says:

    “Deducktive reasoning” & 260Oakley FTW!!

    I lubs me some guckies.

  24. @Katrina – Gary Larson was most absolutely right. But my husband disagreed – he LIKES word problems.

    OTOH, maybe I could have done better if the word problems had duckies instead of mixed nuts.

  25. fly'n bye says:

    I’ll duck the fuzzy logic!

  26. Katrina says:

    Yes, BB/VA, if math teachers had used baby duckies NEEEEDING to get across a pond in time to meet up with their brother baby duckies, maybe I could have found it in my brain to figure it out. But trains? Feh.

    I enjoy speaking with people who like figuring out these problems, it is so entertaining to watch them act out the problem! Me? That is why God created train timetables. I’ll “tand on the shoulders of giants”, I don’t have to “recreate the wheel.”

  27. semanticantics says:

    There is a mallard nesting 4 feet outside the front door at work. Our business is on a busy street in a rougher part of town, but the duck has been unbothered for two weeks so far. I’ve fed the mom (Mallory) a bit, but she is doing fine on her own. I’ll have to check over the weekend in two weeks to see if they hatch when we’re not around. There is a small pond right across the street which is where I’m sure she’ll lead the hatchlings a.s.a.p.

  28. fly'n bye says:

    @semanticantics: Please do keep us posted on their progress! I guess I’ll worry about the road-crossing when the time comes, as I’m sure you will.

  29. @260oakley – you are unstoppable!! 😀

  30. Put down the ducky!

  31. If you’re a bus driver with 12 people on the bus, and 5 people get on and 4 people get off at the first stop, and 3 people get on and 6 people get off at the second stop, and 8 people get on and 4 people get off at the third stop, and 5 people get on and 7 people get off at the fourth stop, and 8 people get on and 10 people get off at the last stop, what’s the bus driver’s name? 😛

  32. @Theresa, I don’t think there’s anyone left to drive the bus!

  33. @Theresa – I don’t know, but he’s wearing black shoes.

  34. Wait, nevermind. 😦 I think it’s time for some coffee…

  35. People, darlings, read the problem! 😆

  36. Venerable Bead says:

    @ Theresa – now THAT’S my kind of math problem. And the bus driver’s name is David Tennant, because the Tardis was on the blink.

  37. TrixandSam says:

    @Theresa –
    A: Helena! (oops, TrixandSam)

  38. I'm A Lasagna Hog says:

    Since they’re likely in salt (or at least brackish) water, you need to include Maxwell’s equations with the Navier-Stokes equations to properly characterize the magnetohydrodynamic force.

  39. Ehhh Hmmm apparently Lasagna Hog is related to my Algebra 2 teacher.


  40. @TrixandSam, you wins!!

  41. Theresa, you’re a marvel. I love your wit, and am beyond impressed by the videos you find and actually manage to upload. Thank you!

  42. edmundh says:

    They remind me of the little duckies that swims around my canoe in Wii Sports Resort.

  43. I want the floof. (You can’t handle the floof!)

  44. DreamspinnerCheryl says:

    Thank you, thank you Theresa, for the vid! I loves me some Sesame Street!!

  45. The answer is a little less than 2 hours :).

  46. Katrina says:

    KittyAdventures- hang in there-keep you eyes on the prize! Create a mantra or affirmation for yourself, for when the going gets tough! NO education is ever wasted! AND– Congratulations an the “C”! I’m rootin’ for ya! (We all are, actually!)

    Ya gotta put down the duckie if you wanna play the saxophone!

  47. softy8088 says:

    A Mathematician, a Biologist, and a Statistician are watching people going in and coming out of the building on the other side of the street. First they see two people going in, and after a while three people come out.

    The Biologist concludes, “Clearly, they’re reproducing!”

    The Statistician says, “The measurement wasn’t accurate.”

    The Mathematician says, “If another person goes inside, the builting will be empty.”

  48. So soft, so fuzzy, must hug & nom on their little downy necks

  49. Totally off subject, but Goma is on Animal Planet right now!!!!

  50. Lindsay says:

    Those ducks are floating pretty fast!

  51. Katrina says:

    Lindsay- Niiiiiiiiiiiice!