Sneak-a-peek at Future Theo

We’ve been running the Cute Overload Supercomputing Center’s “Super Cuteputer”, based in Japan (natch), overload in an attempt to visualize Theo in his new life. Normally, dedicated 24/7 to finding the scientifically cutest content in the universe, we’ve reallocated 1,075 Snorgaflops to creating this rendering of Theo in his new job.

As you can see, there was a major problem. The computer mistakenly rendered Theo in a Private’s uniform, when he’ll actually be a Specialist.

Photo credit (we think) goes to SugarBush Squirrel, who is all kinds of patriotic.



  1. Well, I always felt war was nuts 😉

  2. And look, he has a tiny little medal! For bravery? Or for REDONK FACTOR?

    btw first ha!

  3. D’OH!! Owned by Mel with a great pun! 🙂

  4. Paunchie says:

    Love the little canteen.

  5. skippymom says:

    Please please please tell us this isn’t ‘shopped, that somebody really put this gear on a squirrel!

    [Follow that link to Sugarbush. Ayup. – Ed.]

  6. 😯
    …how did I not see this coming? 🙄 😆

    Oh, and it also looks like it rendered me in Desert-Storm-era BDUs, rather than the current-issue ACUs with the “digital” pattern, never mind Multi-Cam. 😉

  7. zeldapie says:

    OMG, I just saw the leetle medal!

  8. Theo: Well, what can you expect when only 1,075 Snorgleflops were allocated to the project? I suggest Meg try again, and allocate at *least* 3,000 Snorgleflops, if not a full Megaflop.

  9. Also, Theo: *What* do you plan to tell your new colleagues when they ask what you did in civilian life?

    [Ehh, if they’re dedicated enough, they can find out. Fine with me. Or maybe I’ll make ’em guess, like Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan. – Ed.]

  10. TEN-HUT!

    Attention to order:

    CuteOverload will hereby award SugarBush Squirrel the Bronze Medal of Squee, in recognition of his cuteness above and beyond the call of all things cute and redonk. His bushy fluffy tail and bright sqiwwelly eyes are in keeping with the finest tradition of TEH QTE.

  11. WOW.

  12. marguerite212 says:

    Snorgaflops! Snort!

  13. taxidemy can be cute… i guess…

    [ *sigh* …this again? 🙄 Go to the Sugarbush site. The link is RIGHT THERE. – Ed.]

  14. 260Oakley says:

    I like the fact that Private Peanut here is battle-ready on top, but going commando on the bottom.
    Note to Theo: Pants are standard issue. Bushy tail is optional.

    [Well, crap. 😦 – Ed.]

  15. Also ALSO, I think Private Peanut might actually be a Marine.

  16. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    Also, Theo — who
    (OTHER than yo’ mama, HER OB/GYN, your spouse and God ) —

    knew, that you had so much peach fuzz on yer tum-tum????

    Please schedule somebody or some critter, to provide the necessary raspberries thereunto.

    Thank you for your consideration of this urgent matter.

    At ease, soljer!!

    [Well, if this is a riddle, then the answer is obvious: ME! – Ed.]

  17. Tiny squirrel is bound for The Bridge of the River Kawaii.

    [AUUUUUUBREEEEEEEEY!!! 😀 😀 😀 – Ed.]

    [Hey 260 Oakley, this is somebody you should know. 8) – Ed.]

  18. victoreia says:

    Personally, I prefer the “classic” camo pattern to the newer “digi” camo. (Because we’re harder to see when we’re pixilated. Yeah, sure.)

  19. DogEared says:

    i love me a uniform guy…..and the goggles make it extra nice on this one.

  20. Squee squirrel has to be ‘shopped! I’ve got a tame squirrel that I raised and returned to the safety and smorgasboard of my backyard. She visits daily and she would in no way submit to the indignity of being put in an outfit.

  21. AH! Did you see the one where Sugarbush Squirrel dresses up like a NURSE?! I love it!!!

  22. I think that Private Squirrelly Pants is trading his little medal to the human in hopes of getting a peanut.

  23. 260Oakley says:

    Private Peanut’s grandfather served at Squirrel Harbor (in the Army Air Corp, ’cause he was one of those flying squirrels).

  24. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    @ 260Oakley: have you already decided which pun(s) will be engraved on yer tombstone??? I KNOW you wouldn’t want some boring mere average mortal to try to make THAT decision


  26. 260Oakley says:

    @O NO
    No, I hadn’t given much thought to what to put on my tombstone, but what do you think of this:
    I believe I have made a grave mistake

    Or, since I work in a library:
    This isn’t what I meant when I said “I’m going to check out now.”

  27. whiskers says:

    @260Oakley, if you’re female, you could update Shakespeare and have them put, “Look for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave woman.” 😉

  28. Gee, Teho didn’t look THAT fuzzy sitting on the otter’s head. Photoshop is amazing at removing excess hair. Or maybe it’s that special winter fur camo.

  29. Queen of Dork says:

    Theo, you look so handsome in your camo! (Pass the peanuts, please). I like the little Rambo knife!

  30. cannot resist entering the tombstone conversation….mine will read “This wasn’t what I meant by grave reservations!”

    [*SNORK* 🙄 – Ed.]

  31. Aw MAN !
    Now I’ve got the image in my head of that pic of Theo from the other day with a big bushy squirrel tail added to it !

    I’ll be darned if I’m going to be the only one with that image stuck in her head !
    (I wish I knew how to do that photo shop stuff :o( )

  32. HUH ! That wasn’t the smiley I was going for !

  33. Flutterby says:

    Leave a Comment – Is that an order sir? Okay…COMMENT!

  34. Ha! I just recently used that pic when I sent congratulations to a buddy of mine in Afghanistan who won a combat action medal.

    “Don’t drop it” I said.

  35. O No he(she/it) DI-unt!!!!!! says:

    @ 260Oakley:

    Very nice, indeedy, (ma’am?)/ (Sir?) 🙂

    I wonder which gender is the correct “cherce”

  36. O No he(she/it) DI-unt!!!!!! says:


    Does today’s discussion, mean that we at CO may, heretofore,
    refer to you as Pvt. Squirrelypants, without fear of your taking personal offense
    (or, for that matter, without fear of your engaging military action)??

    (Please refer to item # 22 above. Thank you Sir) 🙂

    [Well y’know, it’s SPC (E4), not PV1 (E1) or PV2 (E2) or even PFC (E3). More rank info here. – Ed.]

  37. Oh yeah, THIS would be effective in combat. The other side would take one look at this, go “Awwwww,” and then the squirrels would go full front assault. With Cuteness.

  38. haha…. that’s a fun outfit!

  39. Kar, reminds me of the story in which some invading army, I forget which, learned of the Egyptian’s reverence for cats, and they invaded basically holding a spear or sword in one hand and a cat in the other arm. No blood was shed; the Egyptians gave up without a fight.

  40. Make that “. . . . the Egyptians’ reverence”. I KNOW better! 😦

  41. you know, I was once attacked by a squirrel. They can be quite vicious. I’d be scared to see a…large military organization… of these guys coming.

    Okay, well, not so much a squirrel as a chipmunk… if you want to get technical, it was a white-tailed antelope squirrel.

    And I wasn’t so much attacked as my sister kept throwing small pebbles and stones near it like one would do if they were feeding it, and it eventually thought my purple-painted toenail must be the elusive treat.

    But still, they have sharp little teeth.

    Even if it didn’t break the skin.

    My point remains…except I can’t remember what it was now. Crap.

  42. Diddle Doodle says:

    That’s Theo alright: bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and 100% squirrelly. 😉

  43. reminds me. i need to send a few spare acorns to the USO.

    semper fur!

  44. Hmpfh…. Don’t like animals being dressed up like this…. it goes against their nature… can’t see anything funny about this either. sorry.

  45. You will LOVE THIS VIDEO!!! “Flying Dogs”(aka: Birds)

  46. Squeee! It’s even got a knife! LOL. Real Life Theo is rarely seen without a belt pouch for his essential tools, and/or a knife.

  47. Hey, Theo, that’s a pretty rad insignia, with the eagle on it! The only OTHER one who gets that same guy is a sergeant major. Ha! Work it, baby!

    (Do you have a link that shows the digital-pattern uniform?? Just want to see how the whole thing will go together.)

  48. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    corianne….um… you know Monty Pythons’ film Search for the Holy Grail….and a scene about Killer Rabbits….which are alleged to have “nasty, pointy, sharp
    TEETH” ?????

  49. Andi from NC says:

    SugarBush rocks – it seems like he was featured previously – that’s when I fell in love….

  50. Maybe it’s just me, but how do you dress a squirrel? But even before that, where do you get the eentsy-teentsy-weentsy squirrel-size uniforms? He got a whole damn closetful on his site… Have you ever, ever, ever tried sewing something that small? It’s not fun.

  51. Hon Glad says:

    I don’t know much about the military, but in many films I have seen, the training seems
    to consist of rather a lot of running, whilst being shouted at by a rather unpleasant chap,
    wearing a sort of boy scout hat. He doesn’t seem to have the intelligence to realise that the strap goes under the chin and insists on wearing it round the back of his head.
    While they are running they sing a call and refrain song.
    Anyways I’ve written one for SPC (E4) Durbin.

    We’re the guys who’ve got the brains
    To analyse our enemys games
    Sergeant called us nasty names
    We wired the sucker to the mains

  52. Hon Glad says:

    Sorry about the main copies weird lay out, the dodgy box thingy seems to cause it.

  53. Specialist Squirrelpants is much more alliterative than Private Squirrel pants anyway.

    It has been said that skwerls are plotting to take over the world – now we know who their leader is. Nice infiltration, Theo – lulling our suspicions by posting cute pictures, all the while plotting….

  54. @ Theo: don’t make ’em guess….remember what happened to Tom Hanks’ character at the end…. 😦

    although try to find an opp. to use a sticky bomb, would ya?

  55. Why do I get the feeling that some peeps might be trying to get me into trouble? Hmm… 😆

  56. SPC = Squirrel Pants Cute right? 😉

  57. tracyflick says:


  58. @Theo – you will do just fine on your own (the getting in trouble part, I mean). Us peeps will have your back if (when) you do.

  59. @cambridge_rat_mom: I’m thinking doll clothes?

    I prefer Specialist McSquirrely Pants for our Teho.

  60. Great, now I’ve got the S.I.M.P*. song stuck in my head.

    *Squirrels In My Pants from Phineas & Ferb for those who’s tvs aren’t perpetually on the Disney Channel.

  61. Flutterby says:

    Very Special Agent McSquirrely Pants!

  62. cellarmouse says:

    Hon Glad- as a YanK with a Brit sister-in-law I’ve been told the cadence you just composed is very ‘merican (unless things have changed in 40 years!) Apparently, the redcoats march to:

    Left, right, left, right,
    Even though my pants are tight.


  63. cellarmouse says:

    Also, the English do love their pets more than their kids – she has had at least twenty-five cats – for as long as they lived (up to 21 years); and only two (2) children.

  64. Speaking of squirrels in pants – there’s always the Mississippi Squirrel Revival (a classic!).

  65. @BB/VA
    LOL I was thinking about putting that one up too! It IS a classic!

  66. dewicasgwent says:

    Good luck Teho, mind you getting involved with this

    Mind I’m sure you would include bunny ears and beepable nose

  67. O NO (he/she/or it) DI'UNT!!!!! says:

    @ dewicasgwent…..WOW!!!

    Did YOU say, “Augmented Situational Analysis???
    That’s NEAT-O & KEEN & stuff !!!!”

  68. Is this for real? Where does one buy a little itty bitty squirrel suits?

  69. BStrange says:

    I thought SPC Sqwerl was holding binocs for a second, until I registered the medal. Either way, I applaud the patience of the posing critter.

    Theo said: “Why do I get the feeling that some peeps might be trying to get me into trouble? Hmm… 😆 ”

    Nah… I think Skippy’s List has grown long enough as it is. 😉

  70. Squirrel!

  71. dang. didn’t work. try once again.


  72. Cellarmouse
    Whale ahm raht beholden to you’all.

  73. Omg! HAHA!

  74. An insider told me, that with a bulk order of uniforms from Afgahnistan and Iraq, they only have XXXL sizes left. I am afraid that with Theo’s slender physique, he is going to have to be in a blouse and skirt. Still I think he’s got the legs for it.

    [I don’t envy you your imagination, right at this moment 😉 – Ed.]

  75. Who knew?
    Very adorabubbles!

  76. YIPE! I did not know that the US Army had squirrels in the Maries!

    [I don’t think anybody knew this. 😉 – Ed.]

  77. I meant to write “Marines” not “Maries”.