Your Services Are No Longer Required

Oh, chortle all you want, Mr. Video Camera Holding Person, but now that kitties can get their own food, what do they need us for? Soon they’ll be driving our cars! Taking our jobs! Rounding us up into special camps! Laughing at our comical antics on brightly-colored websites! You fools! Wake up before it’s too late!



  1. Obviously not smart enough to knock the bottle over to get more than one piece out at a time.

  2. It’s the Kittypocalypse! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
    Oh noes! They’re in the hills too! Run for the valleys! Crap they’re there too!
    Run for the!

  3. Takeover is imminent.

  4. Resriechan says:

    wow the getting-the-bottle-cap-offness of it all!!

    BTW — I briefly shared my existence with a furry feline to whom I referred as Buddy, who used to grasp individual kibble with his paw to his mouf. I ended up relocating Mr. Buddy due to his continuous turf aggression with Senor Salinger, of whom some CO’ers have already heard…. Buddy went to a very-snuggly person’s household so no worries about his futyah!!! He were kyoot. Blk & white patches
    & fuzzy as all getout; we think British Shorthair.

    He also useta play Fetch better than many canines that I’ve known. It was
    (ready for another punchline?) In Purrrrrrr-suit of Milk Bottle Rings, specifically….

  5. Oh Lordy, its the Quickening……

    Reminds me of my favourite Onion headline of all time-,284/

  6. @ nads

    LOL @ “The quickening”… and I am SUCH a nerd for understanding that reference.

    Clearly, the feline need for opposable thumbs in order to rule the world has been rendered obsolete. We’re all screwed.

  7. Katiedid says:

    Meabe- They don’t want us to know how smart they really are until it’s too late.. just like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park!!!

  8. Loved the chortle (or was it a gasp of impending doom?) from Mr. Video Camera Holding Person.

  9. I’m scared. I have a 3 kitties – if they should decide to get this clever (who knows, they may already be plotting), the dogs and I are in for BIG TROUBLE.

  10. Smart kitty! I think it’s only a question of time before he or she discovers that tipping the bottle over will get him as many pieces as desired.

  11. We would never be able to store food like that in our house. Between food-obsessed Henry and “Tenacious B” (a.k.a. Basil) who won’t stop until he succeeds at whatever task he is trying to accomplish, food in a bottle like that wouldn’t stay there more than a few seconds….

    I suspect that Basil would get the bottle open in a similar fashion to this clever kitty, then Henry would shove Basil out of the way (knocking the bottle over in the process) and suck up all the crunchies.

    At least our future overlords are cute and fuzzy. It could be worse.

  12. What a smart little kitteh. Naturally, it looked like a Japanese symbol on the top of the bottle. It’s probably a genetically-engineered Japanese Supercat! Once again, they are kicking our asses in cuteness!

  13. Smarty cat! Reminds me of my eternally-hungry Spooky. She will open my purse and dig inside it for things to chew on- receipts, granola bars, whatever she can find. Usually its only the *important* papers that she eats.

  14. As long as they haven’t figured out the can opener I think I’m safe…

  15. Hon Glad says:

    Who needs teh thumbs, Merow!

  16. harlemgrrl says:

    :: standing ovation ::

  17. I used to have a cat with the full name of “Self Serve Midnight Snax (Snax for short) because every morning no matter where I hid them the night before we would always find his bag of treats on the floor with just a few missing. Then he was all ….
    “What ??? It wasn’t MEEEEE!” (in at that time one cat house)

  18. @ Sara- Nerds unite!!

  19. You are deluded peeps, future overlords? Takeover is imminent? Think about it for a minute:
    They sleep all day.
    We work all day to earn money so we can spend it on cat food, treats and toys.
    They’ll “maybe” bury their poop IF they feel like it.
    We get on our knees to clean their litter box.
    They will allow us to pet them but only when they want.
    We feel honoured when they pay us any attention at all.

    Come on peeps let’s face it they OWN US!

  20. Clever Boy… LOL @ Quickening Reference!

  21. When they start getting into the beer, that’s when I’ll start to worry

  22. skippymom says:

    Ha ha. I keep our dry food in a plastic jug with a wide opening at the top. A couple of times when I have forgotten to put the lid back on, I’ve come into the kitchen to find one of them with his head entirely inside the jug, chowing away. They’re obviously thinking, “Thanks for setting up the self-service system, Mom!”

    On another note, do other people have cats who like to drink by sticking a paw in the water and then licking it, instead of drinking directly from the bowl? We have one of those electric fountains, and while Eddy usually drinks from the flowing stream of water, from time to time he does the paw thing. Is it more fun this way, more of a challenge, what do you think?

  23. Jane Smith says:

    Amen to that, gizmo!

  24. No cat worth its spit will want to take my job. The cats will keep me on to torture me and reap the profits therein. We are doomed.

  25. Too cute!
    @ skippymom.. i mix two kinds of kibble for my kitties and often find Simon enjoying his buffet when the container is half full of the good stuff and I’ve turned my back to get the healthy stuff. And ironically, Simon is the “dip my head into the stream” drinker, while Theo is the “dip my paw” cat. I always assumed it was because Theo was too dignified to do otherwise =)

  26. Yup, we’re doomed. Supporting documentation here:

  27. What?!? Are we not already ruled by kitten overlords? My cats have advised to disregard this post as the supremacy of cats has already been proven.

  28. Ok, my cats will stand next to the open food bin and still not figure out what to do. Polite, or just a bit slow?

  29. Beth covered in cat hair says:

    Skippymom…one of my cats will drink by dipping her paw in a running stream of water from the faucet, of course she also dips her paw into my bathwater (lilac fragrance or not) and drink. I’ve caught her a couple of times trying to dig a hole in the middle of the water bowl when it’s full, then preceding to leave wet paw prints all over the kitchen floor. Weird cat.

  30. Octopi have opposable tentacles and some figure out how to open containers and get food, even with screw-off caps. Here’s one of the examples on YouTube:

    But I’d rather snorgle a cat than an octopus.

  31. Sidney must think he’s a dog, he drinks from the lav.

  32. What Mika said! They’ve got us whipped already.

  33. Flutterby says:

    The first thing I thought of when I saw the kitteh opening the jar, was an octopus! If kittehs, octopi and dolphins with thumbs all get together, we’re reeeely in trouble!

  34. I believe that this kitty COULD have tipped the bottle of cat food over, but chose not to because she wasn’t that hungry.

  35. Tip the jug ovah, kitteh!! He’ll figure it out one of these days.

  36. Neat vid about the octopus! How weird would it feel to let her feel your hands with her suckers?!

  37. Rounding us up into special camps?


  38. @ skippymom: I have a paw-drinker too. I read somewhere it’s an old instinct to make sure the water is safe *shrug*. She doesn’t do it with her drinkwell, she drinks from the stream, but standing water she does. And canned food too, she tends to scoop out with her paw, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because she’s just weird. 🙂

  39. HE LOOKS LIKE MY STINKY!!! (snif)

  40. Wow, first it was the women who didn’t need us, now its the cute kitties that don’t need us, next it’ll be the adorable puppies that don’t need us. What’s next after that? The bunnies!!!??? Say it ain’t so…. 😦

  41. Just wondering if the puddy eats more this way or the same amount?

  42. wuyizidi says:

    A side question: can anyone recommend a good automatic cat feeder? I want to stop the cat from waking me at 5am every day. I tried to feed her just at night, but she still tries to wake me at ungodly hours. I don’t want to have to close the bedroom door on her.


  43. Paunchie says:

    “automatic cat feeder” == human companion

  44. Well, if we hafta have Overlords, kittehs are a good choice, I guess…..
    After all, if they get too tough and nasty, all we have to do is release one of those
    wind-up toiy mowsees: kittehs will be outta here in a New York minnit……! 😆

  45. Thank God my one cat hasn’t figured out how do unscrew a bottle yet. He is able to open his food container and learned how to unscrew the dog’s 40 lb. food container. He’s learned how to open all sorts of doors, so I have to keep babylocks on them. He thinks he’s a dog and will eat just about anything…poptarts, granola bars, bread, green beans, asparagus, strawberries. I hide a lot of food in the oven and I know he is watchin’ me as I open the door. The day he figures out how to open it is the day that I am totally screwed.

  46. Queen of Dork says:

    skippymom: SamKitty is a paw dipper as well. He does this quite delicately until he decides to skootch the water bowl all over the kitchen floor and sloshes water all over the place. I told him this is rather rude behavior but he said, “get over it, lady.” I’m trying to find a way to rig up a water bowl that is stuck to the floor somehow so he can’t do that anymore.

  47. Peanut's Mama says:

    Alig8r–my Peanut thinks he’s a garbage disposal too! HE EATS EVERYTHING! Ice cream, oatmeal, brussel sprouts, green beans, the filling inside donuts…..

    As far as drinking, he REFUSES to drink out of ANY bowl/disk/cup/container. The only way I could get him to drink was if I filled the vanity cup in the bathroom full to the tippy top and set it in the bathroom sink. Then he proceeded to contort his 18lb body in a ridiculous way in order to get some—-back legs on vanity, front legs in the sink, forehead pressed against the faucet. FINALLY, I fould this awesome lifesaving invention. NO MORE FORHEAD SQUASHING!

  48. Peanut's Mama says:


  49. Peanut's Mama says:

    FOUND NOT FOULD Im gonna stop correcting my horrible typing now!

  50. Queen of Dork says:

    Ha-ha Peanut’s Mama! I found out this week that my cat adores Smartfood popcorn. I hadn’t had it in years and decided to buy a bag. When I got it home and opened it, SamKitty went beserk over the smell and demanded I give him some. I gave him a couple of kernels and he LOVED it. A couple of kernels of popcorn isn’t bad for a kitty is it?

  51. @Meabe – No, that’s what dumb cats do. Knock over all food, so human puts yummies in inpenetrable tin can with cover. Take out only once piece at a time, and owner thinks it’s cute, and leaves yummies accessible.

    I think I remember this cat writing my roommates’ thesis back in college.

  52. We have to keep a heavy telescope weight on the large can that hold the kitty kibbles. OUr little black genius named Raven learned to remove th big lid and chow down a couple of years ago. He’s charming and funny but ya gotta watch him.

  53. dr. berthaservant says:

    And yet, I promise you:

    This cat will still wake up the owner at about 6:40 am wanting food.

    Just because they CAN, doesn’t mean they DO. Oh, no no no.

  54. platedlizard says:

    We’re safe as long as they haven’t figured out how to use a can opener.

  55. Oh come on, we all know that cats can do this already. It´s just that they have *us* as servants, so they don´t *need* to do it (normally). 😉

  56. Lucy's slave says:

    Can’t see my Lucy managing this ……Lucy can’t/won’t even figure out how the cat flap works…I have to hold it open for her and she’ll sit outside in all weathers waiting for me to open it to let her back in!

  57. Peanut's Mama says:

    ROFLMFAO@ Lucy’s slave’s cat flap story.

  58. kitteh are smaaarrrrttttt…… want want want!!! 😀

  59. Resriechan says:

    @ Lucy’s slave: might we assume, then,

    that Lucy is an elegant, lovely being who …is so phenomenal that peeps like you are honored to serve???

    Lucy= (Perhaps) not the Highest SAT scores??????

  60. @skippymom 😆 Of course, your kitties would love you all the more if you left the lid off the cat food all the time 😆

  61. @chanpon: Exactly. Just the same way that I slowly watered down my father’s vodka when I was in High School, and never drank the whole bottle. 😉

  62. Somehow I don’t think Lucy’s all that dumb…

  63. Lucy's slave says:

    Kar could have a point. Although, even when we’re both stood outside in the pouring rain and she’s yelling at me to open the door and let us in “quickly!”… She still looks at me blankly when I point and gesture and make encouraging sounds re: cat flap. She just says “never mind all that now…just OPEN the DOOR!”

  64. Queen of Dork says:

    Lucy’s slave: How long have you had the cat door? I installed one and it took SamKitty a good three days to get the hang of it. Have you tried enticing her with treats? You kind of need two people, one on each side of the flap to sort of urge her through on each end with treats waiting for her. It took a bit of work with SamKitty but now he’s got it down. As do other kitties in the neighborhood. I didn’t even have to teach them how to use the door…Sam did. It was funny the first time he came in the door. He learned to go out but he wouldn’t come back in. He would just sit there outside waiting for someone to let him in. But the first time he did come in, my daughter and I were in the living room and we both burst out with much, “Good kitty! What a good, smart boy! Yay!” And we were clapping. He looked at us like, “WTF?!”

  65. Queen of Dork says:

    P.S. When I say “urge” her through the door, I kind of mean you have to sort of nudge/push her through it. Not in a mean way and I hope nobody will take offense to this, but you really have to kind of have one person on the outside of the door and one on the inside and gently…well, push her through it over and over until she realizes how the door operates and that she can do this by herself. It’s not mean or cruel, just kind of like, here…this is how this works. Trust me, this will work. And be sure to have treats for her on each side of the door when she’s accomplished going out/in. (don’t worry. I’m not saying you need to shove her through the thing like a cannon ball coming out of a cannon. You don’t need to shoot her back and forth through the thing, but I found it very helpful to gently push SamKitty through the flap)

  66. Lucy's slave says:

    I’ve had Lucy for a year and the flap was installed about two months after her arrival. I did try all of the above but she just wouldn’t get it. She doesn’t seem to like pushing her head against it to open it.. *shrug*… I confess, I’ve pretty much given up now! She’s the only puss I’ve shared living space with who hasn’t got the cat flap idea. Ah well. She makes up for it in many other ways!

  67. Queen of Dork says:

    Lucy’s slave: 🙂 Oh. Well, I guess she just doesn’t like it and wants Mommy to let her in and out! You’re a good, sweet kitty Mom! With SamKitty, I had to do something because he would drive me nuts banging on the blinds to the back sliding-glass door to be let out. *bang, bang, bang. (disapproving glare). bang, bang, bang. The Cat: (drop whatever stupid thing you’re doing and let me out this instance!) bang, bang, bang! Me: (okay, SamKitty: I’m trying to go to the bathroom right now!) The Cat: (No! Now! GET OFF OF THERE AND LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!) bang. bang. bam*

  68. Lucy's slave says:

    Queen of Dork: OK, You’ve convinced me to give it another try…When I tried ‘urging’ her through previously, she stuck her paws on the edge of the thing, legs rigid and squealed at me, like, “What on EARTH d’you think you’re DOING to me?”. Hee Hee..

  69. Resriechan says:

    (POUTING FURIOUSLY in QOD’s direction but only to get her attention, not to actually cause any real guilt)

    (blinking my eyelashes ever so slowly & acting like I’m wiping tears of tragedy from the corners of my eyes)

    SNIFF. “pweeeeeeeeze wook in yer personal email.” SNIFF

    (sniff). (pout) (whimpering TRAGICALLY) (but ONLY for dramatic effect)

  70. Resriechan says:

    Lucy’s slave:

    are you still online? I’m a MLS research librarian & I’ve got a little screen with some research articles from Animal Planet about cats & cat flaps….If you’re online (or the next time that you and I are at CO at the same moment) I can see whether these might cover some detail which you hadn’t yet tried..)

  71. 1 way 2 go says:

    oooh you humans. if you’re too busy to do this, i’ll do myself!! ssiigghhh. you know, if you let this get too low, i’m just going to tip it over to get what i want. you humans. you never learn.

  72. Resriechan says:

    @ 1 way 2 go:

    You know how this all goes. Quoting me beloved Da’:

    ….”Ya buy ’em a book, ya send ’em to school & ya STILL can’t get anything out of ’em”

  73. Lucy's slave says:

    *Resriechan*: Well thanks! I am a newcomer to CO and am in the UK, so the timing of being online at the same time might be limited (also something of a luddite when it comes to the workings of these ‘ere new fangled computer machines – Lucy and I are well matched, you see. With her it’s the cat-flap, with me, technology). Any suggestions most gratefully received though 🙂

  74. resriechan says:

    …okey dokey!!

    1) Meg, Winston (who allows a human named Rick to provide him with nutrition and with a roof over his head), andQoD are the Ruling Party.

    It might be useful to study up on some famous literary figures and also Monty Python sketches (esp. Norwegian Blue; the Complaints Dept; and also MP and the Quest for the Holy Grail….and certainly Young Frankenstein; Airpane and also Blazing Saddles; you will see teey tiny such jokes throughout …


    Other than that, and the occasional Commentroversy, it’s pretty much safe white picket fences & Bluebords of happiness around here

  75. resriechan says:

    oh —

    go up to the very top of any CuteOverload screen.
    There is a tab for Glossary; a lot of really excellent examples there.
    of past pictures and the comments .FUN way to used up approx 20-30 min or so!!