Your Guide to Being a Criminal

Part Seven: How to Be Interrogated

If you have heeded this guide thus far, your fledgling criminal career should proceed on solid footing. Alas, even the best-laid plans sometimes fail, and you may find yourself in police custody, forced to undergo a process called interrogation.

In these moments, it is paramount to remain calm, composed, and most of all, do not volunteer information that may be used against you. Provide short yes-or-no answers to the detectives’ inquiries, as demonstrated in the video below.

And where were you the night the toilet paper was shredded, Arlo R.?



  1. 😆 That kitty IS a criminal 😆 A criminal of cuteness 😆 I would sentence that kitty to a life-time of house arrest involving yummy cat foods for him/her to eat, soft pillows to sleep on for him/her and plenty of cuddles with escorted trips to the vet by a loving human owner, whoops, I mean jailer 😆

  2. Hehehe, the owner is basically repeating the cat’s name (Matsu-chan) and asking it if it’s sleepy and whether it wants food. 🙂

  3. cute cute! Matsuko-san LOOKS a bit asian too 😉

  4. Fuzzalina says:

    Lol. My kitteh will talk back to me like that too. And generally she will say yes to anything about food.

  5. I love how loud it’s purring while answering.

  6. hhehehe i want that kitty!

  7. I reckon the kitty is telling the man to bugger off so he can stay asleep.

  8. bookmonstercats says:

    Is there some Siamese in that kitteh? Of all the cats who ever owned me, she was the most talkative – and the one with the most criminal tendencies.

  9. I grieve and I sorrow – I have no owner – I believe I should go to Cat Rescue, and plead with some nice kitty to adopt me.
    Love to all

  10. Awwww blessss! What a deadly cute criminal. 🙂

  11. My goodness, I didn’t even see this post until now! Cute Overload is sneaking up on us! 🙂

  12. Margaret says:

    This is CUTE..! I love how the kitty has it’s eyes closed so it looks Japanese too!!

  13. marthava says:

    @Suzanne…I love how loud kitteh is purring, too! Just utterly adorable all around!!

  14. I can’t wait to see what the ‘talking animals’ guy does with this.

  15. Jenn in IL says:

    So adorable…though the goo in the eye was distracting me a bit, ha! My kitty gets that as well, poor things. I love kitties that talk back – LOVE.

  16. Paunchie says:

    Yeah he looks like he needs his face washed, and maybe a trip to the vet.

    Adorable squawks though. Ma! Matsu! (meh!) You sleepy? (meh!)

  17. Hon Glad says:

    It shows how good I am at languages, I thought the guy was speaking French.
    My excuse is, I’m at work and I can’t have the volume too loud.
    Anyhoo, the cat is speaking English :-

    “You doighty rat, youse won’t get me teh sing my way into Sing Sing.
    On my Mudder’s life, I didn’t do wit”

  18. Paunchie says:

    His mudder was a mudder. His father was a mudder. His fodder was a mudder?

    What did I just say?!

  19. Luv the orange and white prison jumpsuit.

  20. Resriechan says:

    — When does the section of the film, come up, when Al Pacino hollers:

    “I’m WAHKIN, heah!!!!” at all the passing vehicles in traffic?????

  21. Hon Glad says:

    Paunchie – “Hello Mudder, Hello Farder, here I am in, camp Grenada”

  22. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    @ Resriechan: “I’m walkin’ heah!” was not spoken by Al Pacino, but instead by Dustin Hoffman, who ad-libbed the line in the movie “Midnight Cowboy.”

  23. Paunchie says:

    And repeated by Lt. Dan (Gary Sinese) in Forrest Gump. As an amputee in a wheel chair, and an angry drunk at that.

    The mudder eats its fodder? What the?

  24. Mary (the first). says:

    Thank you Mike for correction (ya beat me to it) but I had never known it was ad-libbed. I still think Midnight Cowboy is one of the most interesting films I’ve ever seen. Amazing. (Although now I fast-forward through the “trip” sequence. Don’t need to see that too many times.)
    As for the talking kitteh,he/she is adorable and definitely looks like she’d rather her “dad” just shut the heck up to let her sleep!

  25. Kitteh has been investigated before, that’s obvious: one cool cookie….!
    He says: “I am not tellin you nuffin besides ‘Mrrrrraaaaoooow’ and ‘Pffffffttttt’….
    Anyhoooo; I try to get my cat to talk to me before I feed her: she’ll talk just a bit and then just sit there and look at the dish pointedly, as if to say, WELL, Well, well????

  26. yes, he’s adorable…yes, he’s responding to japanese-speaking Keepers of the Food…

    But please, let’s keep the “he even LOOKS asian” talk to a dull roar. Not the time, nor the place.

  27. Resriechan says:

    @ NTM:

    me: (BLUSH)

    and: D’OH!!!!!

    (thanks!!!!sorry pholks for my error in quotation!!!)

  28. kimmypage says:

    I Object to this line of questioning…

  29. love the sweet kitty buddha face!

  30. Lil 03.04.10 at 1:17 am
    I reckon the kitty is telling the man to bugger off so he can stay asleep.

    That was my thought too!

  31. あっ会話したいですよ!I loooove the purrmeows! My orange kitty does that ❤ Also Macchan (hard name to translate!) is an adorable name for a kitty. The video info says something like "Even though he's sleepy he still answers", in case anyone is a Japanese nerd like I am.

  32. My cat and I have this same conversation, only one of us speaks English.

  33. oh so cuuuuuute!!!!!! mow mow mow

  34. I only watched a quarter of the video…and all I can say is: “Mer…Meaw…Meu…Meow…” ykwim

  35. mztique says:

    that’s so cute 🙂

  36. chinese cats creep me out. look at its crazy eyes

  37. How did I miss this post!

    SO cute and some kitties are just chatter kitties and some aren’t.

  38. What a cute cute CUTE conversation! I adore this cat, and the man who was talking with it.

  39. MamaLana says:

    I love chattering kitties. Sweet baby.

  40. gatita bonita says:

    Hai! (Yes)

  41. I love when the guy gives up on speaking and justs starts meowing at the cat. Matsu-chan….nyyaaaao? Nyao?

  42. I love how the owner barks at it. “Wanwan!” and the cat makes that funky noise.