To Serve Pug

Slowly, hesitantly, Olive arrived at a disturbing new theory: The intentions of the alien visitors were not as benevolent as had been originally claimed.

Save us a leg, Heidi A.

Comments

  1. Mmm, meaty drumsticks.

  2. It’s a cookbook!!!

  3. Wasn’t there an alien pug in that Men in Black movie?

  4. This is last time I use recipes on Recipezaar from Kang and Kodos.

  5. Not to worry, the pug is just posing for the cover of his catty (harumph) new tell-all “Dog Dish”.

  6. puggers looks worried!
    (and rightly so, he’d be great with jes’ a dash of that thar’ tabascy)

  7. Yes, Frank was the Men in Black pug! I have two crazy pugs at home. They always want to be the center of attention . . . even if they realize later that that may have been a not so great place to be! : )

  8. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    @Jackie: You could say that Olive here is the centerpiece of attention. (yumm, numm, smack.)

  9. Mary (the first) says:

    That pug looks kind of chunky.. could probably feed a large family .. YUMMMMM .

  10. This reminds me of a picture someone took of my dad carrying me around in a pot. I seemed to be in about the same mental state as this puggle here.

  11. Chunky like chunky soups??

  12. Motorbike Helmets says:

    Are you going to eat that after cooking it?

    [Of course not! We're going to cook that after eating it! - Ed.]

  13. Does this pot make me look fat??? No darling, Olive, you looks just scrumptious!

  14. what, no parsnips? ya gotta have parsnips with pugs.

  15. Pug stew……. looks delightful and tender. I love puggies.

  16. LovesDogs, shouldn’t that be “Olive Puggies”?
    teeheehee

  17. Submitted for your approval: the original origin of this concept
    Magazine article, 1950 (by Damon Knight); original broadcast of a classic American television series, 1962.

    Respectfully submitted: a Kanamit. Height: a little over nine feet. Weight: in the neighborhood of three hundred and fifty pounds. Origin: unknown. Motives? Therein hangs the tale. This is the Twilight Zone. ”

    Synopsis
    A race of aliens known as the Kanamits lands on Earth and promises to be helpful to humanity. Initially wary of the intentions of such a highly advanced race, the most skeptical people are convinced when their code-breakers begin to translate one of the Kanamit’s books, which has the seemingly innocuous title, To Serve Man.

    Sharing their advanced technology, the aliens quickly are able to solve all of Earth’s greatest woes, eradicating hunger, disease, and the need for warfare. Soon, humans are volunteering themselves for trips to the Kanamits’ home planet, which is supposedly a paradise.

    Everything takes a turn for the worst, however, when a code-breaker discovers the Kanamits’ true intentions. Their book, To Serve Man, is actually a cookbook, and all their gifts were subtle methods of causing humans to gain weight, much like fattening pigs or cows before they are deported to a slaughterhouse. The code-breaker tries to warn the people boarding the ship what lies in wait, but a Kanamit pushes the last few unsuspecting victims into the spaceship, trapping them inside for the flight to their home planet.

    It seems to me, that our friend Olive has seen this episode of Tw. Zone; she certainly looks…somewhat apprehensive about the party tonight….

  18. tracylee, absolutely! Thanks for the heads up on that one.

  19. Also: in response to the Hovertext:

    “OK, it’s a HUNCH!!!”

    (silly 3-year old type giggling ensues…)

  20. I’d like to offer that it might be a HAUNCH, not a hunch. *snerk*

  21. That is one beefy pug.

  22. very nice, Cashew; I wouldn’t have even THUNK uh that one!!

    (Ka- CHING!!!)

  23. Hmmm, looks to me like the pugster should be eating her vegetables and spending more time exercising rather than hanging around the kitchen.

    Not that I’m saying anything. I’m just saying…

  24. That poor pug is obese!

  25. Angus's Mom says:

    You’ll want to braise him first…save the piggy tail for garnish too.

    mmmmmm delish!

    Can we make this pug-overload…pleeeeease!

  26. It’s like that “Twilight Zone” episode with the alien cookbook.

    [Ya think?? ;) - Ed.]

  27. GASP! I am appalled at this post! I mean, clearly she is using the WRONG sized roasting pan for a pug of this size!!! Any epugurean worth their salt would know this. TSK.

    [Let me see... groan, groan, and yes, another groan and a half, there... I got 'em all, right? - Ed.]

  28. Brave, brave NOMTOM……
    Cute fat dog.

  29. The pug is all “Does this roasting pan make me look fat?”.

  30. Pugs are so awsome! They will let you do almost anything to them, no matter the loss of dignity!

  31. What, the kitten in a blender gets nuffed and a pug in a pot is just ducky?

    [What duck?! - Ed.]

  32. The Shazinator says:

    I think they might need a bigger pot; that is one chubby pug!!

    Abbie’s got a much bigger pot that might work better: http://www.flickr.com/photos/46871163@N00/4300144018/

  33. ED! Groaning at my pugs, er puns? Don’t make me go all pugnacious on you now!
    Sorry, I’m having an off day, needed to let off a little steam. ;-)

    [That's a bunch o' bull, dawg. - Ed.]

  34. are those organic carrots?

  35. Christabel says:

    Lots of pugwiches are going to happen in the week after that pug gets cooked.

  36. I am concerned. Use of seasoned salt will only add to the sodium content of the entire dish and produce deleterious health effects such as raised hypertension. Use of fresh herbs or a salt-free mix would be much healthier.

    [Gotta have SOME salt. Otherwise it's just a bath. - Ed.]

  37. i loved the alien pug from men in black lol
    isnt he a little bit chubby?

  38. At 3:00 a.m. this morning I was wishing for a pot big enough for my puggy wuggy Poe. It was storming where we are and he thinks the “Thunder Monster” is going to eat him so we were all up that early giving pug kisses and snuggles. BTW Olive’s not too fat, she’s sitting in an unflattering position (*giggle*).

  39. I’ll take that huuuuge breast, please. (Gosh, I feel gross even joking about it!)

    Okay, it was driving me nuts until I saw resreichen up top – How to Serve Man! God what a great title. I so loved TZ, had so many favs.

  40. oooo, poor puggy looks really worried….this little puggy went to market, this little puggy stayed home, this little puggy had roast beef, this little puggy had none, this little puggy was served on a bed of baby carrots and organic pomme de terre, with a soupcon of fresh local celery.

  41. mmm….delicious!!! Pug stew! I like to add a little bit of garlic and some basil to mine…extra flavour!

  42. this should be tagged as “cute or sad?”

    cute pug, but it makes me sad to see a pup so overweight…

    [Don't worry, they cook down - Ed.]

  43. Looks delish, but methinks it could use some puprika.

    [And fresh ground pupper? Ohhh these are only getting worse :P - Ed.]

  44. Is that Pugalicious?

  45. You know, you really shouldn’t keep your jarred herbs and spices at the back of the stove like that–the heat causes them to dry out and lose their potency. You should keep them in a cool, dark–OH MY GOD CUTE DOGGGEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. Puprika…Pupper? Groans & eye rolls.

    (I think I’m just jealous I didn’t think of them.)

  47. Olive is NOT fat, she’s big boned.

  48. If you add cat-sup, you can make a pu(d)gy meatloaf.

  49. @Resrie, you are an INFORMATION MACHINE!!!

  50. This looks like an illustration from the classic children’s book, “Pug Soup”. You remember the one–the soldiers ask the villagers for food, but they all say they don’t have any, so the soldiers find a pug and put it in a big pot in the village square and say they’re making soup, then one by one the villagers “remember” that each of them does in fact have an onion, or a carrot, or an old potato or some such, so they keep adding bits to the pot and end up with a delicious soup.

  51. What a sweet and patient little puglette! (Although her eyes speak volumes of her long-suffering nature.) And I love the name “Olive.”

    My mom showed me an essay she wrote for her writers’ group, about how she married into a dog-loving family and how the canine luv persists four generations later. She wrote about a Weimaraner my dad had in the past, who would escape “Houndini-like.”

    Houndini. That took me a minute. Then I was ROFLMAO.

  52. And here I was thinking that was from the Harfang Giants’ cookbook, right under the recipe for marshwiggle……

  53. resriechan says:

    @ Theresa:

    (*blush*) “why, shucks, ma’am!!! ‘T’waren’t nuthin’!!”
    (*blush*)

  54. lexipuppymommy says:

    More like call it a haunch! That puglet has some big haunchies :)

  55. This MUST be an alien pug – I can see the top of the stove through her little pug head.

  56. I have 2 black pugs of my own and work with a Pug Rescue group, so I also have a little fawn foster pug……..sometimes I’d LOVE to cook them up and pass them out!

  57. awwwww <3

  58. my gawd, that’s a portly pug. trim some fat before serving :-)

  59. That pug soup is going to be pretty fatty. I’ll pass.

  60. Heather Sherman says:

    Ruh-roh!

  61. resriechan says:

    @ Heather Sherman:

    LOVE YERS!!! :) :)

  62. resriechan says:

    And @ Victor;eia: have you read all four of the classique Tolkein (I can never get the ei/ ie straight, w/ his name?) ?

    I never managed to get all the way through the Lord/ Rings stuff (I KNOW I”M an alien myself); just the Hobbit.

    Signed,
    AND THEY STILL GAVE ME AN MLS?????

  63. OMG. I just gave that stove away on Craigslist and that’s what they’re using it for? I am outraged!

  64. Dang… looks like those veggies have been waiting a while for this puggalicious opportunity! Lookit dem eyes on dose kerritz!!!!

    Resrie:

    I think it’s Tolkien. But Victoreia is talking about C. S. Lewis’s The Silver Chair.

    So… was it Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits that had the episode in which some skerry folkses were going to make soup/stew out of some beautiful woman in a hot tub (and yes, they added aromatics like carrots and celery … !!!)?

  65. I mean eyes on the potatoes. And sprouts on the onions. The carrots don’t have eyes. *smacksforehead*

  66. we’re going to need a bigger pot

  67. resriechan says:

    @ “meggy” (comment # 66)

    1) Are you actually The Meg of CO Universe? [No. - Ed.]
    and are all Megs as wonderful as the CO Meg and Meg Ryan?

    (OH WOW I just realized !!!
    “CO” COULD mean EITHER CUTE OVERLOAD OR Corporate Executive; either one would apply to The Meg of CO !!!!!)

    2) Or are you actually Peter Benchley ??
    (who WROTE the original novel, on which the FILM Jaws, was based)

    3) Or are you actually Richard Dreyfuss ????
    (is that the actor/ character who spoke the line of dialogue about “needing a bigger boat”??? This is a film whose particulars I don’t have memorized…now, if we’re doin’ M. Python/ Holy Grail……THOSE bits I can recite, 15 minnits in a stretch…
    oh, sorry, got sidetracked here)

  68. resriechan says:

    @ Elena:

    Me, to self: “D’OH!!! JEEEEZ!!!”

    Thanks for the helpful proofreading.
    It’s Monday. BUT I don’t even drink alkyhol nor do no psychedelics….so
    I can’t even claim a hangover. :(

  69. puggy stew could use a little garlic, too.. and maybe a nice dry (belleh) rub…

  70. Queen of Dork says:

    BB/VA: After I read your comment, I looked at the picture again and then burst out laughing at what you wrote. I see what you mean.

  71. Comments… so deadly! Twilight Zone and Stone Soup, oh my. Awesome.

    Oh, and patris, I’m guessing the difference is this one doesn’t have a lid on it… even though the blender had the top out (which any self-respecting kitten of that size would promptly prairie-dog up through if it was in a hurry to relocate)… And if it ain’t that, I got nuffing. *shrug!*

  72. I promise to take only the tiniest of nibbles.

  73. Wow. I guess a turkey is stuffed inside?

  74. Turpugen.

  75. Seriously, dogs can get diabetes. I know Pugs look pudgy when they are normal weight, but this little guy has got quite a load to haul around. Cute, tho. Pug-in-a-pot.

  76. that is disgusting to even think about…i love my ike on the sofa where he is suppose to be or in the bed! Nothing is to good for my darlin…he has enough spice and personality without adding anything!

  77. 1. I am delighted that so many people find Olive as tasty-looking as we do.
    2. Olive is NOT that fat. As pugs go she is medium weight. But the angle of the photo, showing both her broad chest and the slope of her back make her look much bigger that she actually is.
    3. We took 10 shots in about 90 seconds. We wanted to get her up and down really fast. (Note there is a towel in the pot to cushion her). Many of the pix were cute, but this look of weary resignation was the clincher. It was the “just one more” last shot.
    4. We did not really cook and eat her. Yet.

  78. lol. there’s enough meat on that poor pug to make a good meal!

  79. Daphne Moss says:

    This is too adorable for words…pug ears in the ‘uncertain’ position…but evident puckish good humor by loving pug owner put me in mind of hilarious Bugs Bunny cartoons. Thanks for a good chuckle…
    *Picks up nervous pug…hugs…Come with me, my little chub-eesimus maximus …”*

  80. @ resriechan and NTMTOM: Nice to see that the science fiction fans of the world can manage to unite anywhere. (And yes, I’ve read the entire MiddleEarth saga – several times.)

    “How to Serve Man” was one of Damon Knight’s most popular short stories, but I think the funniest, in a sick sort of way we can truly appreciate, was “Eripmav.”

  81. @Daphne Moss: Hasenpugffer? Pugsenfeffer?

  82. earlybird1 says:

    What are y’all talking about? That puglet is not fat. It’s pure Olive oil.

    [Ba-dum TISH - Ed.]

  83. da wird der hund in der pfanne verrückt!

  84. @heidi a…your pug is AWESOME. The look on his face is all “Eeesh, the things I do for these humans…” :)

  85. Olive has poetic eyebrows. That’s TOTALLY a classic Chuck Jones expression.

  86. on no! that poor pug! :)

  87. craftydabbler says:

    Poor, sad chubba-pug.

  88. Yes, pug soup is much better for a cold or flu than any chicken-flavored variety. Also, a mug of hot chocolate-lab is the best for cold winter days.

  89. Eek! – cholesterol overload!

    Is the little red tag her Certified Organic label?

  90. My goodness. Economic times ARE hard!

  91. Pugalicious: “Does this mean I get to meet Rachel Ray?”

  92. Resriechan says:

    Pug Vergnugen???

    (see Volkswagon “fahrvergnugen”…)

  93. Queen of Dork says:

    Res: Thanks for that sypnopsis of that TZ episode! I had forgotten about that one and now I want to see it again. One of my favorites was about this lady who went into a dept store to purchase something and all these weird things started happening. (well, of course. it IS The Twilight Zone after all) but in the end she (and we the viewers) realize that she is actually a manequin who has been shirking her duties. brrrrrrrr. That one give me the creeps.

  94. Resriechan says:

    Hello Your Majesty the Queen:

    the TZ episode, which gave me los creepios,
    wuz the one with the “Talking Tina” doll who “doesn’t like ” Telly Sevalas, the father of the kid. Rather like the WB Talking Frog cartoon, Talking Tina would only threaten Telly when none of the other family members was in the room….

    Signed,

    “Hello my baby, hello my honey,
    Hello my Ragtime DAH-ol!!!!”

  95. Yankee Pug Roast….my favorite!

  96. What really scares me is the number of posters who seem to feel they need to explain the reference. It’s not THAT obscure … right? (cue crickets) Um … right?

  97. actually it looks like Olive ate the aliens before they could eat her! and remember the CO video clip long time ago of the pugs saying “yummy yummy yummy”? Just kidding, Olive. You”re a cutie. Everybody knows the camera adds at least five pounds.

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