How to Assemble Your Puppy

Incorrect:

Correct:

From sender-inner Whitney S.: “This is Bailey!  In the first picture, she was so ‘puppy sleepy’ that she fell off her little bed into that position and then just fell right back asleep!”

Comments

  1. I can’t even figure that first position out.

    [Ikea what you did there. :P - Ed.]

  2. Just too cute!

  3. Queen of Dork says:

    Hahahahahaha! She looks like she’s doing advanced puppy yoga in the first shot!

  4. Your website is the best ever! A great source of inspiration :)

  5. earlybird1 says:

    It always amazes me how flexible babies are! O.o

  6. snorglepup says:

    Yhose silk sheets make me slide out of bed too.

  7. Puppy Pretzel!!!!

  8. wow! i thought only cats could pull that first positche!

    sleepy puppeh, aahhhhn.

  9. Reaction 1: *Spews tea!* xDD
    Reaction 2: That is just tooo precious!

  10. @Jen, me too! This must be one of those new StretchyPups™. ;)

  11. dawnieangel76 says:

    I can haz chiro….choroprac….chiropactr….spine doctor?

  12. snoopysnake says:

    Bailey is performing the advanced side locust, which even Iyengar has not achieved.

    I adore her pink paws and satiny pink bed. I hope she will have a lovely pink collar to match.

  13. how the heck is she in that position? yoga, or something. :)

    ~Dan

  14. Queen of Dork says:

    Theresa: Can I have a new StretchyPup? I will kees him and snorgle him and relish the puppy breath. :)
    Does he go down stairs like a Slinky? (I will join heem going down stairs in Slinky fashion).

  15. That position doesn’t even look possible. Makes me long for the days of youth when you could fall out of a tree and not get hurt. Cute.

  16. @dawnieangel – I believe the technical term is crickopractor. (I heard it from Tom Smothers)

  17. It’s those damn kits from Ikea.

    Instructions in Swedish, and never have all the parts.

  18. Queen of Dork says:

    Peeps: Look at the happy, puppy dream smile in the second picture. She’s chasing rabbits, eating kibbles and playing in the wild flower filled grass beneath a rainbow sky in her sleep! With a soft breeze blowing and flopping her ears and causing her nose to twitch. *sigh. cute. shhhhhh…don’t wake her up. okay. let’s wake her up and play with her* :)

  19. Pixilated Puppy.

  20. I bet this puppy could play a mean game of Twister…

  21. Queen of Dork says:

    Well, I just had a bonding session with my cat where he demanded I pet him which I did. The purring. The soft fur. I (heart) my cat!!! I was about to steal this puppy but my cat would kill me if I did. He would claw me badly. He’s bossy and won’t allow me to have this adorable puppy.

  22. I think Whitney should have called her “Pretzel.”

    What kind of puppy is she? Looks a bit like a Puggle…

  23. @J.: Or a bit of a Puzzle!

  24. Okay, this made me burst out laughing.

  25. metsakins says:

    Thank goodness we have the cute to help us out we these things. the puppeh instructions are never clear.

  26. @QoD, there is a new shipment just in. ;)

  27. Cambridge_Rat_Mom says:

    I’m still trying to figure out how her spine is oriented in that first pic!! It’s like a doggie Mobius strip.

  28. Queen of Dork says:

    Theresa: Yay! Puppy! Stretchy puppy! Puppypuppypuppypuppilicious!

  29. that first posishe is called “downward double dog dare”

    the second is “axis of snorgling money shot”

  30. I think this should have an OWCHE! tag!!!

  31. Downward dog with a half twist !

    Puppy yoga!
    For the most flexible yoga moves!

  32. How is that even possible? Contortionist pup?

  33. Oh for the flexibility and agility and lack of spine (to hurt) of a puppy! What a sweet picture. In gymnastics, this move would be named after Bailey. Something like the Bailey Screwdriver.

  34. kibblenibble says:

    I was SO relieved to see the second picture, with pup “correctly assembled.” In the first, pup’s back feeties are on top of her head! The second pic makes me want to nom her ears, kiss her muzzlepowsche, and sneef the warm sleepy puppy scent. *sigh*

  35. wow I remember when I was a kid and I had that flexibility! At what age is it that we stop being able of doing that??

  36. I like how she’s about the same size as the chew toy next to her.

  37. I am unable to tell the puppeh front from the puppeh back in picture #1. Mobius strip indeed.

  38. Queen of Dork says:

    blair: “Downward double dog glare” Excellent! You totally cracked me up with that! I hope to see this move in the winter olympics this year in one sport or another. Or all of them.

  39. Pupcasso’s little known pink period

  40. @QofD: Your cat might surprise you. My little black cat bullies my 140 pound Great Dane mercilessly – and the cat is declawed!

    I had a Cornish Rex cat that slept in positions like that but I sure never saw a puppy do it. How many positions is that little girl pointing in?:

  41. Crap! I knew I did something wrong. Now, how do I get it apart to fix it?

    So presh. The most acrobatics my pups ever do is to roll on their backs to ask for tummy rubs.

  42. Blair, you owe me a new keyboard. DDDD is the hot new position (does she go to Puplates?), and… ‘money shot’….

  43. Jane E. Smith says:

    You know, the more I look at it, the more I think that’s anatomically impossible. I think we’ve been had. Look closely….there’s no twist to her abdomen!

  44. Queen of Dork says:

    Jane: As a scientific experiment, I will now attempt to duplicate this puppy yoga position in my living room to see whether or not this is valid.
    *removes rhinestone, cateye glasses, rolls up sleeves and marches with determination into the living room*

  45. resriechan says:

    (Hey folks!!!

    QoD: please exquise my interrupting your Scientific Analysis of Yoga
    (and/or Scientific Analysis of Non-Yoga ?) for the following Technical Alert:

    I’m experiencing the Most Severe Technical Difficulties EVER, presently, with my personal email system; for the past hour it has not let me log in AT ALL even to see my email Inbox. I don’t know, if it’s a National problem with the Cwire platform or what…also I searched in my yahoo (I thought I remembered us talking on Yahoo ) but I cannot find your info there. For the next day or two, please write me @ Resriechan [at] yahoo [dot] com….until I update you again, when things @ C/wire
    are back to Making Sense ???…so sorry so sorry)

    Everybody please excuse my interruption? Pweeeeeeeeeeeze????? (blush)

  46. Von Zeppelin says:

    (Stands by in QoD’s living room with orthopedic surgeon, chiropractor, Russian weightlifters, jaws of life, Ben Gay, Blue Stuff)

  47. Queen of Dork says:

    (ouch) *limps back from experiment*
    Well. Here is the conclusion to my one person study: This posish is quite do-able for pliable young puppies or cats of any age. However, I strongly un-recommend it for old human creatures such as myself who are not yoga specialists and/or contortionists. I now have twisted/sprained areas in 14 parts of my spine and I nearly poked my eyes out with my toes. I have temporarily lost all feeling in seven of my fingers. Please leave this move to flexible puppies and rubber-boned cats. Do not try this at home. (ouch)
    *limps away*

  48. Queen of Dork says:

    PS – Res, I can’t seem to access that address right now for some stupid cyber reason. I’ll try again though. :)

  49. earlybird1 says:

    She’s a baby Houdini! Looks like she could wriggle out of anything. I’d show my dog, but she’s dreaming loudly in her bed right now, whimpering and chasing something.

  50. This just reminds me to start that baby afghan with all the little cables in it! Off I go!

  51. Queen of Dork says:

    Von Zep: Thanks for the Blue Stuff. It’s really helping and it’s also delicious.

  52. That puppy must have come from IKEA – their PRÖSH line, obvy. Don’t feel bad, I have trouble assembling their furniture as well. “You want me to put what where? Why do I have extra pieces?!”

  53. Right, “blue stuff” what is that? LOL

    I bet the Russian weight lifters helped, though. :)

  54. This site is killin me todays…first the Zen prosh kitty now
    the yoga doggie ….
    I love CO!

  55. Von Zeppelin says:

    Paunchie, “Blue Stuff” is a product said to relieve joint pain and such. It is allegedly made from emu oil. It was somewhat controversial, to say the least–the FTC got a $3 million judgment against the manufacturers for exaggerated claims of effectiveness. It is still available, and they have toned down the claims somewhat. Some people still swear by it.

  56. Queen of Dork says:

    Okay peeps. Here is a weird yet true story about “blue stuff.” (grab teddy bears and settle in). Shortly after I moved to this lovely city of Las Vegas, Nevada, USA, (about 10 years ago) my now ex and I went to a casino where the theme was Star Trek. There was this bar that had like all of the weird creatures from the movies and TV shows. Anyhow, they were offering this stuff called Romulan Ale (not sure if I’m spelling that right) for free if you signed this paper to apply for some credit card. Well we did that and each of us got a six pack each of this gnarly blue beer. The first thing we noticed was that when you drank this stuff, your lips and tongue turned bright blue. We wondered if it would make our pee turn blue as well but it didn’t. However, the next morning, I hear my husband in the bathroom yelling, “Holy Sh–! Stef, come look at this!!” Well, there’s no delicate way to say this except to say that for the next 24 hours we had..ummm…well…neon blue poop. Until that crap was out of our systems. I mean, bright blue poop. (Only in Vegas. sigh) Sorry for the TMI but I thought it was a good story.

    [This is exactly why there's a saying which goes "What happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas". :P - Ed.]

  57. Theadosia says:

    This whole thread is giving me vivid flashbacks to a couple of days ago when I attempted to demonstrate how I used to be able to karate kick up to my chest level. I stress the words ‘used to be able’……

  58. Queen of Dork says:

    Ed: Yes. We here in Vegas LOVE that particular marketing thingy! We really do! So…when shall we have the CO convention here? Romulan Ale for everybody???!!!!! Blue poops for all??!!

  59. Holy sh_t Stef, come look at this….. :P

    No thanks Hon!

  60. The first time I gave Precious ( hedgehog ) watermelon, her poop was a strawberry-watermelon red color. I never saw that again so the blue poop gave me a good laugh. As for flexibility, we kind of lose it in our teen years. Best to start by age 3-4 to get hyper flexible. That puppy was so cute.

  61. resriechan says:

    Von Zepp — we all thank you for ensuring that QoD *might* survive her experiment, due to your providing alternative therapy consultants onscene !!

    QoD — there definitely is a systems problem — either w/ C/wire or with my own laptop. Since my earlier msg, I disconn. my laptop from both cord & battery power & rebooted again an hour or two later…
    It STILL isn’t letting me into my C/wire past a particular screen, even after allowing the computer to reboot. However the same computer WILL log into my yahoo account…. So for now it looks as though the only times I might again be able to get into C/wire is when the apt computer lab is open (weekdays only, during business hrs/ no weekend or evening times) (pout). Keep trying to reach me on yahoo. (pout)

    Peace, all.

  62. Does anyone know the breed of this puppeh?

  63. Lol! Love the camera-at-the-ready skills of Whitney. Man, puppies really know how enjoy their naps. Look at that sweet face of contentment, awwwwww.

  64. Theo, your editorial on QofD’s Vegas Epic is priceless. I laughed out loud at that one. You da bomb.

  65. i love puppies

  66. @Umbro England 01.18.10 at 9:08 am
    “wow I remember when I was a kid and I had that flexibility! At what age is it that we stop being able of doing that??”

    It’s all in the genes. Or “jeans” if they’re tight… assuming your mom lets you wear tight jeans… which I guess takes you in a circular loop back to genes.

    Think Mobius strip.

  67. I fear this “Romulan Ale”. 8O Was never quite that deeply into Trek.

  68. Queen of Dork says:

    Theo: Resistance is futile. (just kidding. There was regular beer there, too so you could have normal yellow pee-pee) :)

    [You are SO confusing the canon. :roll: - Ed.]

  69. QoD, you need someone to practice with.

    [...]

    [...what the hell did I just watch?? 8O - Ed.]

  70. resriechan says:

    wow Alistair — IMPRESSIVE quasi-yoga routine AND jive swing-singin’, there!!!

    Q — strongly reco. his link….be particularly sure that you keep it on…they sing for awhile AND THEN they do some impressive bodily……bending……..

  71. Queen of Dork says:

    Alistair Wall: Thank you! That was strange! Are these rubber Ross Sisters from another planet maybe? But seriously, that was cool!

  72. Queen of Dork says:

    Hi Res! Yes I saw the whole thing. It was amazing that anything other than a cat could do that!! :)

  73. So cute i just love puppies they fell sleep in the most weird positions lol

  74. resriechan says:

    PS @ Q: be aware when you’re pulling up Yahoo & such …similarly-worded websites try to pretend they’re the correct one…so re-enter your address, letter by letter or otherwise be sure that you’re at the right website; or your spelling of my address, k? MWAH!!!

    (pouting)

  75. Queen of Dork says:

    *sticks out lower lip and helps Resrie pout* (pout)

  76. resriechan says:

    Wow !!! You look so GOOD, pouting!!!!

    BTW — I DID get the T-assisted email @ yahoo & answered ya back; so answer me back, back (giggle), from yers, k ?!

  77. resriechan says:

    Wow !!! You look so GOOD, pouting!!!!

    BTW — I DID get the T(ara)-assisted email @ yahoo & answered ya back; so answer me back, back (giggle), from your email, k ?!

  78. resriechan says:

    oops — sorry ’bout that, Ed’s et al!!

    (gulp)
    (*blush*)

  79. She’s perfect, as all puppies are !

  80. Hilarious! I honestly can’t believe that puppy can make that first pose! Talk about flexible!

  81. Malle Babbe says:

    It’s a Möbius puppy!

  82. [sneaks in....][snatches correctly-assembled puppeh][runs like h*ll]

  83. Umbro England – in people years or dog years?

  84. Teho, I lurves you. You make me laugh. I am a smartass. But I swears to you, in this instance ONLY, that it was completely unintentional. When I saw the flag that my comment was awaiting moderation, I honestly had to read it twice before I figured out the reason. But I had a good laugh about it.

    [Mm hmm. :P - Ed.]

  85. resriechan says:

    Victoreia — come back with that puppy!! I SAW THAT & we want her (and you) BACK!!!!!!!

  86. Awwwww!!! Soooooo cute!

  87. C’mon don’t hate on the cute pup because she has good taste and prefers people such as myself :)

    [Ain't nobody hatin'. At least, none that I can see. ;) - Ed.]

  88. The man in her life says no prayer, Andrea

  89. J to the F says:

    Now only if my gf could bend like that!!

  90. omg i have like one word for the first one “flexible”!!!! [laughs]

  91. That picture ALMOST makes me want to get a puppy. But first, I’ll have to take my two border collie mixes for a run and rethink it.

  92. conradvisionquest says:

    sooooo freakin’ cute. ALMOST makes me want another puppy. but then i come to my senses.

  93. awwwww that puppy is so cute i have a lil chichiwaw or how ever u speell it i suck at spelling anyways i took him to vegas an he ran into the bar an there was this drink that had spelled an he drunk it an stasrted to act all wierd an so that afternoon when we arrived i took him for a walk he met this girl dog an started to mate with her now they have puppies who r soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute

  94. larrymackintosh says:

    AWW, that’s the sweetest thing i’ve seen in a long time.

  95. Oh to be that limber! Absolutely adorable…

  96. Adorable!

  97. cute,
    breathe-taking,
    and lovely…
    ;)

  98. Loveely doggy! I am not a pet owner but oberserving others, some treat their dogs as if they are their children.

  99. This is sooooooooooooo cute!

  100. What else is there to say except… how CUTE!
    Great post title too. Really draws you in and makes you want to click on it to find out what it’s all about.

  101. Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!:)

  102. Hehe…that’s pretty cute…a little disturbing in my point-of-view, yet cute. I hadn’t known that puppies were so flexible…huh…maybe I should test to see how flexible my pup is. Though I’m afraid it might hurt him…or not…I’m not so sure.

  103. o my goodness, i can’t stand the cuteness. awwwwwwwwwww :)

  104. I read about this affliction in Harry Potter…didn’t the nurse apply some skelly-grow medicine and the bones regrew over night? Your very own Hogwarts puppy…wow!

  105. Cute photos.

  106. Great Pics. Gotta love a Kodaik Moment!

  107. that is to cute for words. she looks like she was doing a yoga position in the first photo

  108. Aww how cute is that dog big stretches all round :O)

  109. hahahaha so cute! :}

  110. This is too sweet!

  111. she looks like a Möbius strip :)

    [That's just twisted. ;) - Ed.]

  112. So cute! :)

  113. softballgirl78 says:

    Oh my gosh this is so cute! I can’t believe she could get into that first position!

  114. That is so funny…love the captions. Enjoy your baby girl….she’s very cute.

  115. Wow. I’m about to get a puppy for the first time. (My blog is about the transition from the loss of my service dog to preparing for a new puppy to train.) I have seen my dogs in weird positions over the years — and I had a cat who would get so relaxed he would fall right off the top of the sofa — but now I am concerned what my little puppy might do to himself! It’s adorable, yet mildly worrisome. Cute, with an edge?

  116. resriechan says:

    Hi Sharon — I wouldn’t generally worry. For instance, my own family had a Brittany Spaniel from puppy and he turned out just fine & was wonderful; also I knew a lady closely once who brought up boxer puppies by the station-wagonload (she bred them & was very selective about the families to whom she sold “her babies”) and I never heard even one sad, traumatizing puppy tale from her.

    Look at this comments stream as a “WOW that was unusual/ startling” version of “Bringing up Puppy” !!!

    And anyhow, this group o’ folks will be wondrous emotional support system for ya as you bring a puppy home: generally 94 % of the CO commenters will rush to make effective animal life-sharing suggestions, if something even veers toward a puppy getting too curious about something adventuresome.

    Peace & puppies (or alternative fuzzy, scaly, slimy, etc.) to all

  117. So cute!!!! I love your website…. I have a wordpress but I can’t get it to look this cute!!!

    [We don't use a standard WordPress web template; there's been a lot of custom work done. - Ed.]

  118. This is adorable :)

  119. Great pictures. Cute dog. We also have a “Bailey” — a porty.

  120. I’ll say one thing. Your puppy looks like he invented sleep.

  121. woah, wonder pup!

  122. she’s happy ~!

  123. It’s very clear Bailey is happy. Puppies exude so much joy and happiness you can’t help but feel it. When I am having a crummy day, and I meet a puppy with its human mommy or daddy, and the puppy gives me a big hug and kiss, the day feels much better.

  124. I agree. Their happiness draws me out of misery and grumpiness every time. It must be such fun being a dog or cat. All those amazing sounds and smells… an adventure every day. Our pets appreciate life and their environment much more than we do. The whole world is their playground. With our dull human senses we will never be able to fully appreciate the wonder and excitement our pets feel when we take them out for walkies. Happy dreams, Bailey!

  125. assembling a puppy …
    just too cute..
    loved it..

  126. is this pup a break dancing champion?

  127. cute! Almost makes me want a puppy….wait no, they grow up I keep forgetting that part!

  128. Yeah, but they always stay your baby. They trust you from birth to love them, walk them, feed them, look after their medical needs. Some woman told me she spent $800. on a veterinary bill for her dog, and she told the dog, “Now I know you’re my kid.”

  129. I know I could use a cuddle from a dog of any age right now. Humans drive me insane.

  130. I play ROBLOX! as chadwall on the beatiful virtual world ROBLOX

  131. awwwww… that is a cute pup!!

  132. that is one cute pup

  133. LOL

  134. Queen of Dork, I just read through all your entries, especially the one where you drank some weird beer that made your poop florescent blue. That is hilarious!

  135. Ummm….can you please call my chiropractor?

  136. Folded in two and twisted 180 degrees from the middle…. pretty good have to admit ^^

  137. Now HOW cute is THAT?! ;)

  138. :lol:

  139. OH GOSH That is the cutest lil’ dog i’ve seen i’ve had a puppy before that looked a lot like that.. what breed is she? she looks like a jack russell i think LOVE IT!

  140. thats just hilarious….. our dog could never do that!!!

  141. what kind of dog is this? where did you get her?

    my sheltie/pug cross that is 10 weeks old looks EXACTLY like this! i’ve never seen a puppy look so similar!

  142. I actually have no idea what kind of dog she is- I got her from a shelter in Antioch, CA. I’m kind of dying to know what she is though! There are all sorts of theories…

    I’m glad you all think she’s so cute! I could not stop laughing when this happened – I was just so glad I had my camera with me.

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