OK, so me and my friend Danny get to go camping, except Danny’s mom said that Danny’s sister Marlys had to come too, and my mom made me take my brother Ralph and said we couldn’t hike fast on account of he has asthma and stuff.

So we were in the forest, and Marlys said she was pretty sure that this is where Old Man Morris lives, who’s supposed to be this scary old guy with a hook for a hand who cooks little kids and eats ‘em.  And I said "cut it out, Marlys, that’s just a ghost story."

"Is not," says Marlys.  "Jimmy Beaverton saw him when he took a short cut home from Jamboree last summer.  There was this wheezy voice saying ‘My, you’re a tasty thing, aren’t ya?’ and that’s when he saw him."

"Oh, Jimmy Beaverton eats boogers and thinks Howdy Doody is real," I tell her.  "What does he know?"  And she says "Fine — you’re so smart, let’s see you walk down there by yourself."

So now I have to do it or I’ll look stupid.  And then the forest gets really quiet, and the birds stop singing all at once, and all I can hear is the snow crunch under my feet.  And then I stop, and I hear something … wheezing.

So Marlys screams at me and Danny screams at Marlys and Ralphie just screams at everybody, and we all run back to camp the whole way without stopping.  Anyway, it turns out the wheezing was just because Ralphie couldn’t find his inhaler.

Photos from Jennifer T. (with an assist from Alexis M. & Sarah F.S.)

"It’s the same story every time we watch a Freddy or Jason movie:  You always say ‘I’m a big boy now, I can handle it,’ and by the time the picture’s over, you end up whimpering in my bed."

Looks like someone could use this handy How To Survive A Slasher Movie guide, JC.