Mysteries of Medical Science

Of all the still-unexplained wonders of the human body, perhaps the most startling is the myriad ways it handles stress.   In an extreme case, a college math student, whom we’ll call Doris X, would respond to the pressure of mid-terms by spontaneously transforming into a cat.

Research associate Brittany M. contributed to this report.



  1. There’s a place for you at Hogwarts, Doris X!

  2. Can I provide a snack for the student after his/her nap is done? I have catnip in my pantry!!!


  3. White-feet marmie,
    White-feet marmie,
    Never, never
    Fails to charm me.

  4. oooh big feets! I bet dat’s a boy kitteh… Dorian X?

  5. Did this transformation have anything to do with her apparently consuming an entire chocolate cake while studying?

  6. I was wondering the same thing, Skippymom. I’d need a nap after eating all that cake too.

  7. Ha ha, just remembered an incident from childhood. We had gone out on an errand, leaving the chocolate cake my mother had made sitting on the counter. When we got back, the cake was gone but for a few crumbs and our dog, Oscar, was looking guilty. My mother was so furious she forgot what kind of animal he was. She screamed, “BASTARD CAT!” My brother and I nearly sprained something trying not to laugh.

  8. Or it could have been too much milk and cake. (Please to be noticing the empty glass and cake plate.)

    Btw, I think Doris X. should go out for the synchronized cat napping Olympic team. Looks like she has the write stuff. 😉

  9. kibblenibble says:

    Awww! Lookit the pawses holding the pencil! My dear departed kitty, Witchie, used to help me study like this. Sweet memories.

  10. Math has been known to render many people catatonic.

  11. Awwww… Agree with the hovertext. Nothing to do but ride it out.

    And beep da nosie.


  12. And 260Oakley scores again!

  13. @Camille: I thought of Hogwarts too!

    Yup, that’s what I’d do if I was turned into a cat – stretch, and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz and wait to be fed (tuna cake?) Oh and be so full of myself for having such beautful marmie fur and big white fuzzie paws (kinda like my kitty!)

    @Skippymom: did your family have a cat too? Or did your mom just blame it on a cat just because?

  14. Aherm, I’d like to point out, fur purrrly observational purrposes TOE FLOOF TOE FLOOF TOOOOEE FLOOOOF!!!
    (adjust glasses) Thank you, please resume your studies.

  15. Kittys are so funny. This reminds me of the things my little devils do. They usually want nothing to do with me until I pick up a book, or I am working on bills…then it’s all like “I loooove you, pet me, adore me.”

  16. Rooanne, at the time we had two dogs and probably three or so cats. It was Oscar she was yelling at as he was obviously the culprit. But in her rage she got confused about what he was.

  17. OMG. Nerd marmie. I have no hope to survive make my time. x_x

  18. Obviously photoshopped. There is no way a kitteh will ever be able to solve calculus problems! Trigonometry, sure, that I might accept but they went too far on this one.

  19. Andi from NC says:

    I guess my years are showing – the first thing I thought of was: “Ms. Yakamoto, you’re beautiful!!! She blinded my with Science!”

    [She’s tidied up, and I can’t find anything – Ed.]

  20. That’s a brilliant strategy. After all, who expects a cat to work?! I wish I’d thought of that myself…

    I am quite partial to the marmie and white flavor of kitteh, since we have one. Ours is nowhere near as svelte as Doris X, though.

  21. 260Oakley said:
    Math has been known to render many people catatonic.

    ROFL!!!!!!!! Frigging brilliant, that was. 😉

    ***************************** *********************************

    skippymom, I hope your dog was ok! Chocolate is poisonous to cats and dogs…

  22. Rumi, Oscar was just fine. I think it’s because this was years ago, before they started telling us chocolate is bad for dogs. (ha ha)

  23. This is an EXCELLENT way of handling stress. I wish we could all do this, then there would be kitties spontaneously appearing all over the world – in offices, in courtrooms, in line at the store, on airplanes.

  24. Ok, this kid has a high nerd degree. Take a look at that mechanical pencil! That calculator! On the other hand, I had two or three different kinds in college, one for math, one for accounting….

    Totally incidentially, but the name of the submitter, Brittany M, hit me in a weird way.

  25. I know a few people who turn into beasts when stessed, but nothing as soothing as a puddy!

  26. That kitteh has hugemongous feetickles!

  27. kibblenibble says:

    @ Theo: “She’s TIDIED up?” All these years, I thought it was, “she’s TIED IT UP.”

    *blushes–slinks off to the snickering lounge*

  28. Thomas Dolby is presently entertaining in The Snickering Lounge, playing a battery of cell phones.

  29. I call the toe beans!

  30. Your honor! I must OBJECT! Those glasses, while fashionable and kewl are blocking access to the Axis of Snorgling. Please instruct the attorney for the Plaintif to correct this matter immediately so that I may use said Axis to win over the jury, er I mean to instruct the jury.

  31. I wish, wish, wish I could have had this syndrome during school! Getting out of math with a variation on the Time Traveler’s disease would have been SO handy! And then I could have really snorgled with my kittehs on their own level – wonderfuls!

  32. I was reminded of an incident that happened last year. I was making my famous chicken pot pie for a friend, and after baking the chicken, I left it on top of stove to cool down a bit. I turned around and found Hoffman, her cat eating the chicken. I roared “YOU ROTTEN CAT” and threw him onto the floor from counter. I didn’t forgive him for a long time. Hours later, I found my dog with a half of a chicken breast in his mouth. He couldn’t get his mouth around the big chunk so I had to break it up for him. Let’s just say the cats and dogs had a lot of chicken the next day for meals. They ate well!

  33. MarmieLover says:

    Geeky and ornj, couldn’t be cuter

  34. Mary (the first) says:

    You can keep the chocolate cake, I’ll snuff up a big mouful of kitteh-belleh-flavor anytime instead!

  35. loving those toe-floofs 🙂

  36. Why is it that cats need to be on top of paper? My Scout has been very “helpful” while trying to wrap Christmas presents. I have finally figured out that I have to start a roll of paper and put a box on it and then place it on the floor. Scout will walk over and play with the paper and then sit on the box. Then I can wrap the real gift with the real paper I roll out on the table when Scout falls asleep on the one on the floor. And she used to do this when I payed bills too. I could never write out a check without her putting her butt on the open checkbook. Now I pay my bills on-line, but it was always funny to know that I was sending a check with kitty butt stink on it to the cable company, phone company, electric company, etc…

  37. resriechan says:

    @ Scoutsmom:

    Didn’t they show you that clause, in your original application to live with a cat????

  38. 260Oakley said:
    Math has been known to render many people catatonic.

    Get thee to a punnery!!!!

    As to sleeping kitty, that’s Catie McMarmirs, tax accountant, working on her end-of-year tax planning. Unfortunately, she slipped into a coma when she realized she has no capital gains with which to offset her capital losses!!!

  39. For once CO is bringing back bad memories, those of adolescent years spent trying to figure out the volume of rotating solenoid, and also of those horrible, useless Texas Instrument calculators from the 80’s.

  40. 😀 AWW 😀 I want to SNORGLE that kitty’s belly 😈 SO BAD 😈


    (clearing throat) Back to work; carry on.

  42. I’ll never forget the time I opened the kitchen cupboard to find my big dumb marmie boy Andy in there, tucking into the pink Funfetti cake that had been hidden from him until Mom’s birthday party. I’ve never seen a cat look so shocked.

  43. Awwww, I always fall asleep when I study… just like the pretty marmie! My university studies involved me reading 20 minutes of chemistry (flavour of your choice), followed by 20 minutes of napping on the futon.

    Sometimes, I could not afford the time to nap, so I had to read my chem books out loud to keep from passing out.

  44. Kar: Totally incidentially, but the name of the submitter, Brittany M, hit me in a weird way.

    We are being visited by a ghost? (for anyone that follow entertainment news.)

  45. Kitty Mama says:

    This is something cats learn in Being a Cat 101. It’s called helping, also known as hampering. They are instructed to stretch themselves as long as possible to obscure as much paper as they can. Funny how some cats want to be around you ONLY when there is paper spread out in front of you.

  46. Jenn in IL says:

    T.U.M. – sounds like that “big dumb marmie boy” only wanted you to THINK he was dumb!! Sounds pretty clever to me, ha!

  47. MarmieLover says:

    cats were domesticated in ancient Egypt… where paper was invented. coincidence?

  48. T.U.M, well, at least he was having fun with the funfetti cake. My kids had those every birthday. They called them “fireworks cakes”. The kids are ages 20 and 17- I still have a can of the speckled frosting just in case I bake them a cake for something! Do not wish to be caught off-guard you know…

    MarmieLover- no, none at all.

  49. I love the straaaaaaitch in the first pic.

  50. T.U.M., your comment made me laugh. But, um, what, pray tell, is a funfetti cake?

    Also, I WANT TO DO THIS. Only I’d like to turn into a puppeh. Please? Isn’t someone working on that particular device?

  51. I am trying to make a RSVP Here! one week later (walks in drunk) that party was great! flops over 🙂

  52. How does 260Oakley consistently come up with those perfect one-line puns ?

    (Psst. 260Oakley IS NOT REAL. 260Oakley is actually the most advanced supercomputer in the world, whose job it is to scan 999999999 billion permutations of the English language for just the perfect combination on any Qte. At least, that’s what I think.) 😉

    Personally, in pic#1, I think that the kitty, upon wakened, asked the intruder: “Yes, what is it this time ?”

    (Short conversation, which kitty thought was relatively dumb [and this kitty thinks Einstein is wrong] ensues.)

    And in pic#2, the smart kitty muttered, when returning to his nap, “What will the world with its peeps do without me ? Probably it would explode. *Yawn* Just anther day…”

  53. FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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