This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

“I leave you alone for the day, and just look at this mess! The toilet paper’s shredded, there’s trash all over the floor, a team of squirrels is running a telemarketing call center from the guest bedroom, and a man outside wants to know where to install my weapons-grade uranium centrifuge!”

Hey, talk to the cat about the toilet paper, man.

Did you order these 24 pizzas, Emily D.?



  1. kibblenibble says:

    Guilty exprayshons! 😦

  2. Oh goodness The cuteness is overwhelming. I’m saving this picture to send to friends suffering the morning after a particularly excessive night out…

    Perfectly perfect expwesshons!

  3. wildviolette says:

    Guess that Cat in the Hat wasn’t interested in helping two naughty doggies, huh? Looks like you two are seriously grounded!

  4. I knew this was a NTM item before I’d finished reading the first 5 words. And when I see an NTM item, I NEVER look at the pic until I’ve read & attempted to digest the description/ caption storyline ….HELP!! Couple o’ questyuns, Mike???

    1)How’s about one of the Tags such as “Naughtiness” or “Impending Doom” or “Danger”????

    2) I tried !! Really I read it through twice & still I just don’t get the bit about the Uranium Centrifuge…?? Is it just that the pups & squirrels have made enormous quantities of troublesome prank calls? Or is there some additional significance to that bit???

    3) Really? Is that ……. A PINK DIAPER ON A DOGGIE?????? CALL THE ASPCA about emotional abuse to this poor creature’s self-esteem. NUFF!! NUFF! NUFF! NUFF! NUFF!

  5. What eloquent side-eye guilty expressions! Although I doubt I could bear to punish them at all.

  6. @resriechan: That’s a belly. Pup’s wearing a black sweater, which is how the belly gets that straight “waistband” edge. And I looove his furrowed brow.

    Also, Iran is getting a lot of political heat about it’s nuclear program – uranium centrifuges are at the *core* of it.

  7. Yeah, uh huh, and why exactly is the cat hiding & in the hamster cage & who the heck said the hamster could watch Pay Per View Wrestling?

  8. So, … is this politics or something much more sinister…. “Oh, no, not me”… but then again….

  9. Oh what in the world could these two have done to be giving those adorable looks?!? I seriously would love to know the backstory on this one. Cute cute cute

  10. Queen of Dork says:

    Oh yeah. These two are up to something for sure. I’ve had that look on my own face before.

  11. I had a cat mane of Frankenpussy. He was a very vocal cat and I used to give him a little tap on the head with my finger and tell him to shut up. He would look at my strait in the face then meow again and then give me exactly the same look as the black puppy. What could I do except burst out laughing.

  12. I think these goggies are guilty of spiriting away the turkey leftovers to a secure and undisclosed location, to be enjoyed at a later date, when Mom and Dad have left teh howse to go fuud-shaupping, or sumfing……!
    (heh, heh: ingenious liddol poocheez 😆 )

  13. those pups definitely look guilty, one’s got the shifty-side eye going on.

    NTMTOM: sounds just like every parent. how is it they all say the same things?!

  14. @ Doggabone: THANKS !!!
    Jeez, just about every WEEK on CO I find out, how hopelessly befuddled & absent-minded professor I am. I can list at least 30 French words even when I’m half-asleep but I thought the pink skin on dog’s belly was a fabric diaper & hadn’t heard much lately about Iraq & the nuclear/ core thingumaBob. So erudite are you!! My eternal thanks.

    Mike — that only leaves my Inquiry #1 remaining; at your convenience, Sir.

    The Absent-Minded Librariologist.

  15. Queen of Dork says:

    I really wonder what the heck these two did? And what shape is the part of the room we can’t see in? hmmmmmmmmmmmm…….

    The black one looks so worried as well as guilty. Whatever he did, I would probably have to pick him up and kiss and reassure him because of that expression on his face! Man, am I a pushover. This is why my cat bosses me around so much I guess.

  16. fish eye no miko says:

    @resriechan: I got the impression it means white doggie is an evil overlord in his spare time, and black doggie was unaware of it until now.

  17. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    These two got in trouble for buying “Ebony and Ivory” 42 times using the hoomans’ iTunes account. Anyone could guess the password: p1nk_b3ll3h.

  18. Is it just me or does black doggy have something on his face? or is it his tongue? I wonder if this is linked to their mysterious crime…

  19. (Also, rofl at the hover…!!)

  20. @ Argyle Donkeypants Love the password LOL.
    @ Lauren ..the cute is all over CO have your eyes or your heart checked.

  21. Queen of Dork says:

    kittykye: Ha-ha! 🙂 You’re right. I hadn’t noticed that before. I think it is his tongue. Maybe they ate the goldfish? A really long, long time ago I had an aquarium tank that contained little lizards which were so cool. One day I came home and my mom’s cat was completely inside this tank messing with my lizards. I don’t know how she got in there but she did. Luckily, there were no fatalities.

  22. Into the bad dog box with you two! How cute is that??

  23. Damned squirrels. And they keep calling my cell phone number during meetings.
    This is truly one of the best captions ever.

  24. *sideways glance* cute…i think…

  25. Hm, someone making a threatening gesture or yelling at the dogs off screen while another takes a picture. I don’t think that’s cute, really..

  26. There should be a category for “OH NOES!” eyes.

  27. KittyMarthaPoo says:

    OMG I wanna know SO BAD what exactly is causing these 2 little pups to look ONE EYE in the same direction at the SAME time! :0

  28. Is okay, you twos. Whatever you did, I forgives you.

  29. Whatever they did, I forgive them! Special noms all around. ❤

  30. Hoomans… they never appreciate what their pets do for them. I mean, a squirrel call centre? Just would the hoomans ever have thought of that?

  31. I really don’t think that the uranium centrifuge has anything to do with Iran. Any dogs smart and unscrupulous enough to set up a squirrel call-centre (probably soliciting donations to some ‘charity’ that you’ve never heard of), are more likely to be engaged in free-lance uranium production, possibly with the assistance of contacts in the Russian Mafia. Iran might be one of their potential customers, though. Maybe there’s a team of squirrels dedicated to chasing up potential uranium buyers “Good evening, do you have a couple of minutes to talk about your nuclear weapons needs?”.

  32. resriechan says:

    @ Theadosia:

    “Like, wow man; you’re, like, totally deep & stuff!!!”

    Like, Profound, man!

  33. They deedeent do eet. They were set up…swears.

  34. I see real fear in the eyes of those poor little souls, not cute at all 😦

  35. Any one who puts a black sweater on their pug and lets their pooches sit in a person chair is not going to hurt them. No doubt the dogs are eying something weird on TV.

  36. So that’s who’s been calling and not leaving messages! And I thought it was National Geographic about my subscription not being renewed……

  37. binky-mama says:

    Excellent illustration of the term “Ruh-roh!”

  38. Awwwwwwwwwww! I don’t care what you did, please stop looking like that!

  39. binky-mama-so right-if you looked up “Ruh-roh” in the dictionary, this picture would be the illustration! It is too in the dictionary…..

    Boy, they did somethin’…..but I bet they get forgiven…and then they got treats and the squirrels went back to their abandoned factory call center, and the Uranium wasn’t uranium at all but some sparkly noms and they all got to do fun goggy things and stuff.

  40. Poor little guys/gals! I consistently point out to my own dogs that they ruin stuff… but they’re so cute that I forgive and keep them anyway!

  41. Paws and Claws says:

    Those two little faces have the cutest expressions! You can always tell when they’ve been naughty 🙂