Hazel Poses for the Swimsuit Issue

by Not That Mike The Other Mike on November 4, 2009

Oh yes, darling (click, click), lie back now (click, click, click)… now lift your head (click, click), give us a pouty look (click, click)… perfect, darling (click, click)

CalenderShoot_July1

Now look at the horizon (click), imagine a studly Weimaraner (click, click), stepping from the pool (click, click)… That’s super, love, let us feel it (click, click, click)

CalenderShoot_July4

All right, darling (click, click), give us a smile (click, click, click)… Arch your back a bit more (click, click)… Smashing, love, hold that pose (click, click, click, click)

CalenderShoot_July8

We’re having issues with that swimsuit, Rocket T.

{ 76 comments }

1 Olivier 11.04.09 at 11:31 am

sexy bitch

2 isaac 11.04.09 at 11:33 am

tut, tut. all these superthin models creating unrealistic body image. Give us a nice wiggly pug or bulldog, I tell’s ya.

Isaac.

[buHAHAHAAHAHAHA AHahahaa... ha... ahem. Yes. - Ed.]

3 Katiedid 11.04.09 at 11:33 am

OH NOES!!! O.o Won’t someone please think of the puppies!!!!

4 Berg 11.04.09 at 11:36 am

@Olivier: You took the words right out of my mouth!

Hazel is gorgeous and apparently extremely cooperative…

5 LC 11.04.09 at 11:36 am

this isn’t cute.. it’s just weird.

6 Katrina 11.04.09 at 11:40 am

NOMTOM, you do like to step into things, don’t you, dear?

7 BW 11.04.09 at 11:43 am

@ isaac. I agree–completely unrealistic body ideals (plus not too fun too cuddle). Let’s get a chunkier, cuddlier breed and replace that revealing suit with one with a nice hip ruffle. A pug in sunglasses in a hip-ruffly bathing suit. *snicker, snort*

8 Resriechan 11.04.09 at 11:43 am

@ NTM: it sure were clever of ya to edge the term “issues” into the caption “one more time” at the bottom…but you KNOW that ever since “THAT” Super Bowl, the “propah” term is “wardrobe malfunction”, dontcha, Mike?? Huh??
HEY!! ARE YOU WALKIN’ AWAY from ME????? WHY I OUGHTA……..

9 Resriechan 11.04.09 at 11:48 am

And Isaac — you’re needed on board the Cruise Ship Post. I think they said they needed some more cute little Umbrellas in their drinks, or something!!!
Truly, YOUR NAME is specifically NAMED in the story of the Post.

Signed,
I Think the Application for the Assignment, said it would be

A Three-Hour Tour
A Three-Hour Tour

10 Snowpea 11.04.09 at 11:49 am

Oooo, I’m going to wait for the flying pudding fight that will surely occur.

(I don’t think that colour suits her)

[You know, the idea of a flying pudding fight is absolutely fascinating. I mean, IMAGINE! 8O Quiddich, eat yer heart out. - Ed.]

11 doggabone 11.04.09 at 11:51 am

@Resriechan : That’s a different boat. ;)

The ol’ band used to perform the theme to Gilligan’s Island – but sung and played to the tune of “House of the Rising Sun”.

12 Stunbunny 11.04.09 at 12:03 pm

This is objectifying the canine form, pure and simple! You’re sending the wrong message to puppies everywhere when they could be anything they want to be! Fire house dogs! Bomb sniffers! Drug sniffers! Why, they could even be the white house dog someday!

13 Bada 11.04.09 at 12:05 pm

Beautiful! She’s enjoying her sunbath. The brazilian bikini is great.
You go girl!

14 Kar 11.04.09 at 12:08 pm

Looks good but it’s just not there yet.

Why don’t you lower that strap just a little more. A little more. A little more.

Look, if you want to take this to another place we’re going to have to try something else. Just undo the string but don’t lose it entirely. Better, better…

[Oh will someone think of the innocents!]

On a tangeant, how the heck did that bottom get fitted for a tail?

15 KrisD 11.04.09 at 12:10 pm

Looks like she’s missing a few cups on that top there….

16 shlymadrid 11.04.09 at 12:11 pm

Cute??? I vote for really creepy.

17 Kar 11.04.09 at 12:12 pm

BTW Isaac, get me a pina colada and point me to the Lido deck.

18 Katrina 11.04.09 at 12:12 pm

Some people have all to much time on their hands….

19 Von Zeppelin 11.04.09 at 12:15 pm

Shouldn’t a dog bra have like eight cups?

Even so, she is lovely. I understand Playdog is interested in her for Miss December. (Don’t tell me you don’t do nude, honey. My dogs walk around naked all the time)

20 ceejoe 11.04.09 at 12:22 pm

bwahahaha… on second perusal, I noticed the tailio sticking out of the bikini bottom…

21 anniebird 11.04.09 at 12:34 pm

hmmm, …

22 Paunchie 11.04.09 at 12:36 pm

OK, you can keep that bikini miss thang.

23 Blondie 11.04.09 at 12:38 pm

VZ! ROTFL! (wiping my beverage off my monitor yet again…)

How would you size those cups? All the same size? A custom size for each cup?

24 victoreia 11.04.09 at 12:47 pm

Hey! What about all those real dogs out there? You know, the not-skinny-as-a-rail, got-a-lot-of-curves-and-hips, way-shorter kind? The not-cookie-cutter-body-type type? HUH?

(What? Oh, sorry, wrong soapbox….)

Ahem! I prefer a nice tankini, myself…..

25 T.U.M. 11.04.09 at 12:47 pm

REEEDOOONK!

26 Noelegy 11.04.09 at 12:48 pm

We used to have a Weimaraner that would tear up plastic wading pools. I never knew the reason for it until recently. My dad reminded me about the old clawfoot bathtub that we used to keep in our backyard and used as a watering trough for our goats. Once my dad was going to go fishing, and he bought some minnows and temporarily stored them in the bathtub. Molly saw that there were fish in the water, and apparently ever after believed that any container of water would have fish in it, so she would dig for the fish. That’s just the first thing I thought of when I saw a Weimie by a pool. :) Hazel is adorable.

27 tootoot 11.04.09 at 12:48 pm

Why?

28 Saffron 11.04.09 at 12:57 pm

I wish to nuff the bathingsuit.
I agree with Snowpea on the color. Pastels are just not flattering to someone with golden tones. Jewel tones such as a darker teal or dark magenta would set off her lovely color.

Where is Tim Gunn to help out here?

29 Lindsay 11.04.09 at 1:00 pm

Back off, Hazel. The sparkly guy is ALL MINE.

30 kasia 11.04.09 at 1:00 pm

TOO WRONG FOR WORDS!!!!

31 Resriechan 11.04.09 at 1:20 pm

@ Lindsay: “Mommmmmie, she skeeeers meeeeeee!”

@ Noelegy: Nice story!
Nice storytelling!

Signed,

Thanks for Sharing.

No, Really! THANKS for sharing.

32 Catalina 11.04.09 at 1:34 pm

(♥_♥) wow she is beautiful!! I have a 10 month old female weimaraner and looks just like her LOL however mine is crazy.

Even with all the crazyness I absolutely love my girl and weimaraners in general, they are gorgeous!!

Thanks for sharing this!!

33 Rachael 11.04.09 at 1:36 pm

I don’t even know where to begin! I guess I should wait until I’ve stopped laughing my a$$ off at those ridiculous pictures. ROFLMAO

34 LovesDogs 11.04.09 at 1:39 pm

For those fans of mine wishing my autograph, the line forms on the right.

35 Trabb's Boy 11.04.09 at 1:45 pm

If those are her best shots, I don’t know. I’m just not seeing the “fierce”.

36 Guadalupe 11.04.09 at 1:58 pm

POOR DOG!!!

37 Argyle Donkeypants 11.04.09 at 2:16 pm

Note to all: “It” has officially been brought, and worked, by Hazel.

38 ScoutsMom 11.04.09 at 3:01 pm

In picture 3, she seems to be “smiling with her eyes”. Tyra would certainly approve.

39 Resriechan 11.04.09 at 3:44 pm

(did I seem sarcastic to Noelegy b/c I meant to be silly there but did NOT mean to be sarcastic..??????.)

(worry) (concern) (anxiety) (stress) (angst)

wondering…..wandering …..

40 Resriechan 11.04.09 at 3:45 pm

(it really IS a super story!!)

(more worrying)

Us R. Ex-Catholics have got this Worrying thing DOWN!!!!
Strongest Tool in MY Skillset (sadly)

41 Theresa 11.04.09 at 3:53 pm

I would just like to point out that this poor Weimie girl is probably Jail Bait, as well.

42 Camille 11.04.09 at 4:07 pm

Theresa – even in dog years?

43 Illise 11.04.09 at 4:36 pm

lol this made me laugh so hard
thats one cute and sexy bitch lol

44 chanpon 11.04.09 at 4:49 pm

Wait, someone actually cut out a hole in the bikini bottom for her. *shakes head* Time, oh how I wish I had thee in as much abundance as some others out there…

45 debg 11.04.09 at 5:57 pm

It seems so wrong until you notice the happy look in the last picture. This baby is made for love!

46 260Oakley 11.04.09 at 6:20 pm

String cheese, doggie style

47 Norma 11.04.09 at 6:36 pm

Any way I can subscribe to CuteOverload and not get Mike’s posts? They are so creepy. This one, the slave kangaroo one… gross.

48 AmyJ 11.04.09 at 6:58 pm

Norma – no.

49 meggy 11.04.09 at 7:35 pm

TMI

50 Noelegy 11.04.09 at 7:39 pm

Heh, Resriechan, no offense taken, it just took me a long time to get back on here and check for comments! :)

51 Michael Claymore 11.04.09 at 7:44 pm

Shouldn’t this post have a NSFW warning?

52 daniela 11.04.09 at 9:44 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHA

53 Jane 11.04.09 at 10:19 pm

Cute shots, but they make me a bit sad. My weim is now 12, and she’s – well – lost her svelte and youthful figure. She still loves the pool, though. Every time she goes swimming, I just get the image of the blue-haired ladies at the gym doing aquarobics.

54 Resriechan 11.04.09 at 10:53 pm

@ Noelegy: (whew!!!) Thanks for the okeydoke. And I DEF comprehend about not bein on/at/among computers with “fun time” often as we’d like.

Note to God: So, does this mean I can stop feeling guilty,now???

55 Zoe 11.05.09 at 6:11 am

The dog is beautiful….the scenario however…creepy

56 T.U.M. 11.05.09 at 6:15 am

Re: tail opening

When I was little, we used to dress our beautiful, sweet, extremely indulgent chocolate Lab in a pair of men’s underpants, with the fly in the back for his tail.

57 L-Cat 11.05.09 at 6:30 am

Has anyone called William Wegman yet?
http://www.wegmanworld.com/
This lovely Hazel evokes fond memories of Fay Ray and Battina.

58 Antikythera 11.05.09 at 6:51 am

Everybody wants to be Fay. Are all Weimaraners this amenable to being dressed up and posed? :)

59 Quiz Games 11.05.09 at 8:28 am

EWW – this makes me want to barf!

60 pgh 11.05.09 at 8:52 am

I know exactly where this pool resides…. IN THE UNCANNY VALLEY.

[OK yeah, a bit. But that's why it's funny, to my eye. - Ed.]

61 Roketto 11.05.09 at 10:50 am

Oh my god, I can’t believe my pictures actually got on CuteOverloooooaaad!

I am seriously ecstatic right now. ^____^

For all the nuffers, Hazel loves this sort of thing; she’s a real ham for the camera, & I always give her a ton of treats when she sits still & looks adorable (which is every second of the day, practically!). She wasn’t uncomfortable or anything, & she was actually strutting around the yard in her bikini, but I didn’t get any good shots of that.

As for the bikini, it’s just one of my old ones, with a tail-hole cut for comfort. She actually wears it better than I ever did; I’m jealous…… She’s naturally svelte & lithe, & unlike those silly human models, she doesn’t have to starve herself for that figure!

Also, she could totally be Fay’s protege! I take a lot of my inspiration from Wegman & his beautiful dogs.

In conclusion, yes, sometimes I do have too much time on my hands, but hey, it got my Hazel on CuteOverload, the best adorable critter site EVER! Thanks CuteOverload, for making us Internet-famous without having to degrade ourselves or film ourselves being drunk &/or stupid.

P.S. Hazel is a two-year old rescue dog, & a perfect example of how love & training can turn a throwaway dog into a wonderful, affectionate animal. If you need a companion, always go to the shelter first! Lots of amazing animals, especially purebred dogs, are just waiting there for a second chance. I don’t know who could have ever thrown Hazel away, but I’m happy to have her. ..hugs Hazel..

62 Elisha B 11.05.09 at 10:52 am

This post on the same night as “America’s Next Top Model” is in Hawaii shooting pictures of the petite girls in small bikinis and rolling in the sand. What timing NTMTHOM, makes ya wonder…..uhm?

I think these pics are far better than what was on the show! At least you can laugh at the dog for being boney or falling out of her top.

63 micsix 11.05.09 at 11:43 am

Uhhh.. I rarely comment and never nuff but I find this disturbing in a vauge way….

64 Paunchie 11.05.09 at 11:48 am

I’m wondering about her runway walk~ does she stomp it out?

65 Blondie 11.05.09 at 12:28 pm

ack! so many moral issues with this!

66 Blondie 11.05.09 at 1:43 pm

Uh oh… There’s more than one Blondie….

67 Daphne Moss 11.05.09 at 4:26 pm

I had to lol several times at the critique that this wasn’t a flattering suit…hello!
So there’s advice now for someone who puts a bikini on a dog?
Nooooo…

And yes… this is just disturbing in so many ways…

68 Noelegy 11.05.09 at 5:00 pm

Roketto, a favorite great-aunt of mine is named Hazel. I’m trying to comprehend how the name could so suit my aunt and also suit your sweet doggie. It’s just a great name, I guess!

T.U.M.: LOL at the idea of a choccie lab in tighty whities!

69 Noelegy 11.05.09 at 5:01 pm

P.S. I showed these photos to my hubby. He gave major “Baroo?” eyebrow-furrowing in response.

70 paranoiagirl 11.05.09 at 5:37 pm

@ the first Blondie
yes, sooooo many moral issues! I mean, it’s a dog…with CLOTHES ON! oh the objectification! ::gasp::
/sarcasm.

71 trusts 11.05.09 at 8:37 pm

oh, no…you did NOT make your dog dress up like this. oh no, you did. OMG. what a picture. if that dog only knew…

72 kar 11.05.09 at 10:04 pm

Well, better that the dog wear Roketto’s old swimsuit than Roketto wearing… You get the idea.

Seriously that breed seems naturals for the camera.

73 Blondie 11.06.09 at 6:44 am

@Paranoiagirl: LMAO! Brilliant.

Blondie (aka #66, aka The Blonde Techie)

74 T.U.M. 11.06.09 at 6:53 am

Roketto – thanks for posting! Hazel sounds like a great dog who’s found her perfect owner.

Hazel was my late Grandma’s name, and she would have absolutely loved the redonkulousness of it all.

75 Stacy Disgusted! 11.07.09 at 5:39 am

Oh lord. Im sorry but… that is W R O N G.

NOTHING cute about that… ew

76 Adra 11.07.09 at 11:50 am

Won’t somebody please think of the puppies! That saucy bitch is leading my dear hound astray! Why, only this morning he was eating his Purina with nigh-on a glance, and now he’s staring lovingly at the weimaraner on the box and making pining noises!

Oh, hazel, you minx, you scarlet woman, why must you tempt them so, with your silken ears and golden eyes…

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