K.I.T.T. Never Had These Problems

He was no Michael Knight. And he didn’t even come close to a Magnum. Hell, even with espadrilles, he couldn’t hold a candle to Crockett or Tubbs. The sad truth was, despite what he wanted you to believe, he was no babe magnet.

Can I get a little help here?

And since he didn’t even know how to drive, he spent his days working it as a hood ornament; it was a pointless exercise in futility.

Someone tell Tawny Kitean that she's been replaced.

I’m guessing there are Jersey plates on that thing, Lindsey Y.

Comments

  1. I didn’t know Ford made Explorers for pussies. Does it run on catnip?

  2. MissKitty says:

    “Someone tell Tawny Kitean that she’s been replaced.” LMAO. Nice one.

  3. biscuithead says:

    Maybe there are York plates on that thing.

  4. LOL The stickers, the floof, our intrepid hero, what more could a girl want!

  5. Oh please, there is no way that little floofinator isn’t a babe magnet. Who could possibly resist???

  6. ButtaRumCake says:

    Espadrilles – *snerk*

  7. crazyweinerdoglady says:

    Pussy Explorer. OH MY! ^..^

  8. Stunbunny says:

    “My Pussy Wagon died on me.” -The Bride

  9. metsakins says:

    Prongs, you better be a New Yorker, only New Yorkers are allowed to pick on Jersey like that.

    btw- I think that kitteh will be a babe magnet.

  10. The WHAT explorer????? *blushes*

  11. Jenn in IL says:

    I wuv him.

  12. Jess&Friends says:

    Oh dear me. I’m glad I’m not the only one who was a bit tossed by that word ; )

  13. GingerBean says:

    @metsakins- I concur…except of course Jersey natives who moved away- I make fun of Jersey all the time :)

    I want to know if it was an adult or a kid who decorated this toy…though either answer would be slightly disturbing :P

  14. hahaha! @MissKitty! I think White Snake is ready to shoot a new video. ;)

  15. darkshines says:

    I’ve been known to be a bit of a pussy explorer in my time…..

    [All right that's far enough, ahem - Ed.]

  16. BeckyMonster says:

    Explorers for Pussies run on nuffs…

  17. Tawny Kitaen, snerk.

  18. @darkshines: Eh … spelunk?

    I think the “Naughtiness” tag was never so well applied as in this case.

  19. Kitty: Meep meep..

  20. Jersey jokes?
    Excerpt from “Application to Live in New Jersey”
    HAIR PRODUCTS USED AT ANY GIVEN TIME
    a) Hair Spray
    b) Styling Gel
    c) Mouse
    d) Extra Hold Styling Gel
    e) Bondo
    f) Spackle
    g) 40 Weight Oil
    h) Crazy Glue

    AUTOMOBILE OWNED:
    a) IROC Z
    b) Firebird
    c) Camaro
    d) Mustang
    f) Chevette ( You got a f#%*ing problem with it?)

  21. Dude, I think you misspelled “f#@%ing”. ;)

  22. Obvy kitteh hasn’t been hanging around the right spots! Floofiness is a babe magnet!!

  23. @Teho: *snerk*

  24. @#$%$^! :evil:

  25. I just heard on the news last night that Ford who makes the Explorer was the only car company in the US to not take bail-out money and still turn a profit. Maybe it’s because of this new Pussy Explorer model! :-)

  26. The cat is adorable.

    The “Jersey” jokes and stereotypes are just annoying. I’m from NJ and am nothing like the stereotype — most people aren’t, just a few groups in areas close to NY or Philly.

    Oh, and it’s NEW Jersey, just like it’s NEW York. “Jersey” is part of Britain.

  27. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    There’s nothing about this post that doesn’t slay me with hilarity.

    Including the fact that the feline fluffsicle appears to be doing what can only be described as an antenna dance in the second photo.

  28. Is that a sideways Mona Lisa license plate on the back??

  29. Ok, so all of us thought the same thing when we saw the sticker on the side. I had a couple comments, but you all sufficiently covered them for me already. I’m glad I’m in good company!

    K.I.T.T would *never* have let PUSSY EXPLORER be put anywhere on his being. He’s a gentleman.

  30. Resriechan says:

    @ Theresa & Theo: BWA. Ha. Ha. Ha. (etc., etc. “and so forth and so on”)

    @ AD: Please elucidate to me, the Olympics Standards Committee Policy on the distinctions btw Antenna Dancing and (Dare I say it? I dare ! I dare !– what kinnIsay; I came up w/ 3 Rowdy Older Brudders, eggin’ me on ….)

    “Pole Dancing”????

    I appreciate your time in researching this matter. Until we next correspond, I remain
    Your Obedient Servant…

    Sincerely,
    The Philosophical Questions Dept.

  31. KatieZientek says:

    PUSSY EXPLORER??! What the..

    [It’s possible they didn’t want to run afoul of Q. Tarantino – Ed.]

  32. Antenna dance, snerk

  33. Resriechan says:

    (but then again, Theresa, I just noticed…in comment #20, item C…Followup question, please: was the actual word “mouse” on the original List of Hair Products; do New Joisey Wimmin sometimes use little critters there, to hold a hairstyle …..

    or could a key on your keyboard have possibly sabotaged your cleverness??
    (“Mouse” does not, unfortunately, equal “Mousse” :( )

    I hope to be able to lay the blame on your keyboard.

    Nothing icky in my intent here just *supposedly, hopefully* bubbly silliness, ‘k?)

    [...neither "Moose" nor "MOOSH!" while we're at it - Ed.]

  34. Von Zeppelin says:

    What’s everybody giggling about? (Wide-eyed, innocent, hick-from-the-sticks look)

  35. I used to have this same car when I was little! My sister and I would put our gerbils in it. They fit slightly better.

  36. hovertext on pic #2!! lololol

  37. Resriechan says:

    Von Zepp, sweetie — really, it’s nothing you need to
    (NOTE: PLEASE INSERT HERE THE APPROPRIATELY MACHO MALE VERSION OF THE FOLLOWING PHRASE )
    “worry yor purty little hay-ud, ovvuh!!”

    (“Isn’t he JUST the most aDOR…….blahblahblahblah & etc.” in the background)

    Signed
    I mean this in the BEST possible way.

  38. Pussy Explorer. 8O

    I admire y’alls restraint . . .

  39. Glad I wasn’t the only one who had “Kill Bill” flashbacks. 80

  40. Oops, that was supposed to be a wide eyed shocked little smilie, but it didn’t work. Oh well.
    8O

  41. baileysgrandmom says:

    Um, pafdc.org will explain “Pole Dancing…” Of course, they call it POLISH. Guess it is shinier that way???
    Sorry, had to use up all my horrible puns left over from last month, lest they go stale on me!

  42. Uhm… “Pussy Explorer”.

    It just sounds kinda wrong…

  43. I also claim the right to make Joisey jokes, seeing how I lived in Philly much of my adult life and later worked in and for the State of New Jersey. Usually I just limit myself to saying, “Living in New Jersey is a contradiction of terms.” But I KNOW I saw that Pussy Explorer more than once, and it had a “JRSYGRRL” license plate.

  44. @Rumi – I lived in Jersey for a few years and was nowhere NEAR NY or Philly. And 90% of the people I knew there where classic Jersey types. No neccesarily the big hair, but the accent, the attitude, etc. Its not meant to be an insult…it just is what it is. I live in the Midwest now and know just as many stereotypical “midwestern types” here. Myself, being from all over the country, am a mismash of “types” – I can welcome you with midwestern hospitality and then run you off the road with Jersey road rage. :-)

  45. @Teya: The midwest has more than its fair share of road rage, we just happen to do it with a smile on our face :)

  46. LOL @ minx – so true.

  47. beardediris says:

    I had a Barbie Ferrari when I was a kid, that I stuck pink, glow-in-the-dark star stickers on, and my cat, Puff, used to sit on it. She was too big to fit into the seat. She also used to sleep in the Barbie house, stuffed into one of the “rooms”. My father used to say Puff had a thing for Ken and was trying to move Barbie out.

  48. oh were I a gynecologist today…

  49. Born and bred in the Motherland (shout out exit 165!), I reserve the right to make fun of New Jersey, its state bird (wipe that smug look off your face, Eastern Goldfinch), its glorious abundance of vanity plates (required in order to get your license), its people *and* their delightfully incomprehensible jargon, e.g. “We’re going to pizza.”

    I also reserve the right to mock the 49 remaining states, Guam, and the platypus.

  50. @Resrie, it was categorically a proofreading FAIL, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were the case. After all, ladies used to put RATs in their hair.

    http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=hair+rats&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=2983098085&ref=pd_sl_3o6lesrf2w_b

  51. @Prongs, somewhere a platypus is typing an indignant response. :mrgreen:

  52. Lissen, I’m from da Bronx and proud of it.

  53. A pink Ford Explorer with kitty stickers is far cooler than that ’82 Firebird.

  54. Theresa, my very first automobile, back in ’79 or thereabouts, was a cute little Chevette “woodie”. I loved it. But I’ve lived in Massachusetts all my life. Was I meant to have been from New Jersey?

  55. ButtaRumCake says:

    PRONGS I HEART U!! I was born and raised off of 148 baby!!!!!

    Mutz-a-(rolls tongue)rrrrell (mozzarella)…rrrrrigot (ricotta), cavadeel & brock-lee (cavatelli & broccoli), ‘scarole & beans (escarole & beans), big hair, Aquanet, Bon Jovi & taylor ham, egg & cheese on a roll!!! (not bad for a black girl from Belleville, huh?)

    Damn I love my state….although, IMO, anyone living in the Pine Barrens isn’t considered a Jersian (ooops NEW Jersians, sorry Remi LOL)

    …and as for road rage…we’re only bested by Massachusetts drivers LMAO

  56. ButtaRumCake says:

    *looks up* Um…sorry skippymom *shifty eyes* :mrgreen:

  57. mmmm…Taylor Pork Roll…yummeh!

  58. No worries, ButtaRum–we here in MA are proud of our road rage levels. And while I personally have never acted out toward another driver (being a demure librarian and all), by the time I get to work each day I’m lucky not to have busted a blood vessel in my head what with frustration and fury at others’ driving.

  59. Oh come on, if us Jersey girls can’t make fun of the Garden State, who can? And yes, we need more “what exit” references. BTW, wasn’t Monkey Business the name of Gary Hart’s boat?

    If that were my mother, I’d be taking off those stickers with my butt still throbbing.

    Wait, that sounds wrong.

  60. oh the memories – when I first moved to Jersey, everybody i worked with would go to the deli across the street and get a buttered hard roll for breakfast – never in my life had heard of such a thing. But my family is from Philly, so Pork Roll will always be near and dear to my heart (I’ve got the clogged arteries as a keepsake). I don’t miss the traffic, I don’t miss not making eye contact with my neighbors, but I DO miss the boardwalk pizza.

  61. crazyweinerdoglady says:

    personally the word “pussy” has never bothered me, of course I’m also one of those chicks that can’t be offended by anything LOL
    The only bad thing about this pic is that the Pussy Explorer totally distracted me from the cute kitty lmao

  62. I bet it still works better than Internet Explorer.
    Bah dump bump.

  63. ButtaRumCake says:

    Har har har @ Teho

  64. Oooh, “Pussy explorer” :D

  65. Copperbat says:

    roflmao at the name on the door XD

  66. @Theo #62: Ain’t that the truth!! (this coming from a Mac person…) :-)

    @Von Zeppelin #34: Puh-leeeeze! Nice try. But I admire your effort. ;-)

  67. @SkippyMom, there are certain commonalities, about which both populations are in some denial. :mrgreen:

  68. @ButtaRumCake, don’t forget the saseech. :mrgreen:

  69. @ Theresa #50 – (and only someone with 1/3 of a PhD in American History would know this) the link you provided is INFINITELY better than what women used in the late 1800′s and early 1900′s. The term “RAT” came from the extra hair women would pull from their combs and brushes and save in order to “lift” their hair when pulled in an updo a la the 1905 Gibson Girl. It was their own hair so no worries about matching hair color. Although when taken down and saved, it looked like a rat’s nest, thus the term “Rat”. The same look can be accomplished today with the rats you put the link to OR the ever popular as seen on tv “bump it”. Although the bump it will give you the sectarian, polygamist wife look. And yes, I know this from experience. :P

    Cat & Coupe are cute and I’ve loved the comments this afternoon.

  70. Resriechan says:

    @ Theo …..howzabout

    http://instantrimshot.com […OK, then Ba Dum Tssh ;) – Ed.]

    In my muddy mind, I dun’ fo’got, which Smart CO Person provided this to Us; my best guess would be that either The Lovely Theresa or The Footballin’ Von Zepp was responsible ….but I been lovin’ on this item, ever since !!

    (Hopefully I wrote in the address accurately enough for it to function. If so, one click on the address, then when the page has loaded, hit the mouse button on the HUGE RED BUTTON on that page & enjoy !!)

  71. @Suzanne, true, but that woulda just grossed everyone out. :mrgreen:

  72. PS: Whoa, :mrgreen: is making a big comeback today. :mrgreen:

  73. Resriechan says:

    @ Suzanne:

    Wati — what? No, I gotta take this one on!!
    ONLY someone with 1/3 of a PhD in American History….Am I /are we to unnerstand that when someone completes the additional 2/3 of a PhD in American History, that the associated material disappears from that person’s memory?????

    Signed,

    Indignant & Disbelieving &
    REALLY Huffy about it all.

    (PS: “Harrrrrumph!”)

  74. Resriechan says:

    (oops– my own Proofreading Fail, in the first few words.

    Shoulda been: “Wait”, NOT “Wat-i”!!!!??)

    (altho “wat-i” is kinda growin’ on me, in just a few seconds of time.
    Can anyone come up w/ a useful function for this term? Is it a noun or an adjective or a personal name from India?)

  75. Aw, I’ve always loved kittens. I don’t remember any of mine being this curious except when it came to paper bags or boxes. The pictures you can get of your pets are priceless!

  76. Resriechan, Wat-i, from the ancient Mid-Cumbrian/Visigoth/Latin dialect, “watus issum”, an expression of surprise and curiousity. Although some experts believe it to be a contraction of “watum fockissum”, that theory has been discredited by most serious linguists.

    Now you know…

  77. Teya, no kidding? In 14 years in Philly I swear I never heard of a “pork roll.” Not until I started working in Jersey.

    Also: When people tell me they hear that people in the midwest are friendlier, I always tell them, “No, they’re just more polite. They may be nicer to your face, you may never get a rude or hostile comment, but behind your back they’re raking you across the coals.” (Being born and raised and unfortunately returned to the midwest, I can get away with this.)

    But yeah, the difference in traffic–not too mention the cost of living–ALMOST makes up for it. My last couple of weeks I was literally counting down how many more times I had to make that commute on I-78 (“Just survive it three more times, and you’re out of here!”). And my mortage payment is less than half what my rent was there (where I never would have been able to buy).

  78. This is like the QTE emergency rescute vehicle – ready to squeal out whenever one of us cubicle-farm prisoners is overcome by a need for fluffitude or toe-hawks or moist nosicles!

  79. You must mean squeeee-l out !

  80. @Juno, absolutely right. Here on the East Coast, we wear our hostility right on our sleeves. It saves time. :mrgreen:

  81. @Resriechan # 73,

    My sincere apologies for causing any indigation or huffiness (unless you were huffy to the point of needing to huff a kitteh to calm down…in that case, you’re welcome :P ). The “only someone with…” introduction was meant to explain away my geekiness and qualification for nerd-dom in knowing that obscure fact, not to insinuate that anyone with 2/3 or more (or less for that matter) didn’t know squat about rats and other hair accoutremants (and I’m sure I spelled that wrong) of the late 19th and early 20th century.

    Your obedient, if not over-educated servant.

  82. *chuckle*

  83. Resriechan says:

    @ Madame X: I cannot possibly respond to your response
    (altho’ in my immaturity, I admit that I WISH to do so …) other than by a deep, sweeping bow to your wisdom in re. etymology of English vocabulary & its antecedent language origins.
    (but, I *DID* notice the little term there that began with F***….; jus’ sayin’ ….. ;) )

    @ Theresa: YOU, ma’am, need to Run a Country..as a Dictator. A Very Funny and Insightful Dictator..

    @ Suzanne: I think ye’re wunnerful!! (*grin*) …and actually you’re making an assumption, that geekdom & nerdiness are “bad things” here on CO. One of our favorite gals here on CO, chose as her screenname, Queen of Dorks !!! Thanks for trading ripostes, in fun, avec moi !!!

    Signed,
    Happy happy joy joy.

    And stuff.

  84. Hey, all, I was so excited to see that my kitten Cricket and her rad car made it onto CuteOverload!

    Some history on the Pussy Explorer: My fiance Ted and I spend every Tuesday night getting our nerd on at a bar game called Geeks Who Drink. Each week the winning trivia team takes home the “traveling trophy” and adds something to it, and the trophy is sent home with the final winning team at the end of the season. Our team won the last game and split up the trophy, and Ted and I became the proud owners of the Pussy Explorer. It didn’t meet our commuting needs, so we bequeathed it to Cricket.

    @Rumy I wish the cards on the back of the car were mini Mona Lisas, but they’re actually escort ads from Vegas.

  85. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan and Suzanne: Ha-ha! Yes I am very much a huge goofball! And I like my screenname. It’s a nickname/term of endearment that my daughter began calling me a few years back! :)

  86. Resriechan says:

    Hi QoD!!
    Glad, that Cubical World released you, into our custody for the night…
    How did your day go? Any shrapnel or Book Haters @ the Workplace, today?

  87. @Resriechan, like I said when the Nobel committee phoned: “FINALLY!”

    (d’oh!)

  88. Um, gross.

    [Juuuuust focus on the kitty. It's a "Kill Bill" reference, albeit kind of a lame one. - Ed.]

  89. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan: Thankfully, I think the Book Hater has realized that I meant it when I said to her, “You have now power here….BE GONE!”

  90. Queen of Dork says:

    Oops…meant, “No power here” *blush*

  91. @Lindsey..your Cricket is an adorable floofball! may you have many wonderful and entertaining years with her! give her a snuggle from all of us…rad car INDEED…..

  92. Queen of Dork says:

    Lindsey: Love the story of your trophy! Escort ads from Vegas, huh? I can just picture the guys handing those out on the strip. (My city is rather strange…kind of like driving into Toon Town or something).

  93. ButtaRumCake says:

    @ Theresa – “saseech”

    *SNERRRRRRRRRK*

  94. I’m from Canada so I have to ask = why do people pick on the state of New Jersey?

  95. As for the cute kitty :D I would just LOVE to have that kitty be my driver :D

  96. @Teresa, it’s a tradition of making fun of your next-door neighbor. Swedes make fun of Norwegians, Minnesotans and Wisconsiners, Minnesotans and North Dakotans, New Yorkers and New Jersey, and the entire US makes fun of . . . oops . . .

    I’m sure you make fun of us, too. :mrgreen:

  97. …not Mexico, surely?

  98. Of course not. And don’t call me Shirley.

  99. mandy_Reeves says:

    maybe this was an hilarious case of “engrish”? I am born and bred New Jersey! I totally eat hard rolls and butter for breakfast!…Or a bagel. I <3 pork roll, love springsteen and bon jovi, and the Yankees. I have carpal tunnel in my middle finger from flipping every one off.

  100. Resriechan says:

    @ Theresa:

    I jist Luuuuuuv how Theo took yer bait & innocently (*snerk*) responded in such a smooth tone, handed you your punchline & ka-POW! you gave it to ‘em !!!

    (Theo, didja get a Black Eye from that punchline??)

    (walks away, giggling in *QUITE* a childish, silly manner.)

  101. metsakins says:

    Excellent Airplane reference. I’m glad to see we’ve almost completely stopped talking about the adorabuhls kitteh!
    And one more thing. Once you leave the tri-state area (being of course, NY, NJ and CT) you can’t get a decent roll to butter!
    Discuss amongst yourselves.

    And Juno, comment number 77, I had this conversation with some Texans I met on a cruise. They were shocked that I asked someone to stop smoking and surprised that I was so friendly. I explained it exactly as you did, Juno.

  102. New Jersey, New York gotta love um! Drive with style!

  103. Resriechan says:

    @ Lindsey (sp?) whose comment above claims companionship w/ the little kitty guy in the pic…..”Cricket”….

    PheNOMINAL name for a kitlet !!! Glad you both have ea. other !!!
    And the Barbiemobile
    (vocabulary substitution
    on grounds of “not raised to use THAT word’)!!!!

  104. Resriechan says:

    (oops forgot to be PC: kitty = “little guy or little gal”)

    (whew!!! Wipes beads of anxiety-driven perspiration from forehead…)

  105. mandy_Reeves, are you by any chance a fan of author Janet Evanovich? She has a series of books (about 20) featuring a heroine named Stephanie Plum who sounds a lot like you (especially that little carpal tunnel problem). They’re all set in Trenton, filled with colorful (and then some) characters, and hilariously funny.

    metsakins, thanks for the confirmation. (But you know, the tri-state area is PA, NJ, and DE.) I had the pleasure of living 7 years in South Philly, and I’ve often said the South Philly Italian-Americans are the nicest people on earth. Give you the shirt off their backs. Then they’ll go to the game and boo Santa Claus.

  106. Pussies with their explorers? :D

  107. Resriechan says:

    (wow; didn’t see THAT, comin’!!)

    However, Juno– if it’s of some consolation to your generous & kind item, I myself already took down the book/ author info, ‘cuz I think it sounds wunnerful & I wanna “check it out” myself!!

    Signed,
    An Official Librariologist
    (MLS/ FSU 1985)

  108. :) Thank you for the explanation, Theresa :)

  109. @Theresa, we Canadians only make fun of Americans who know NOTHING about Canada :D

  110. Resriechan: Hope you enjoy the books. Don’t be too put off if you read “One for the Money” first–the rest of them aren’t that grim. The plots are usually a bit thin, but the characters are so great and the zingers are so funny that they’re more than worth it.

    And I’m assuming mandy_Reeves response was just some more Jersey humor. No doubt accompanied by a middle finger. (Is there an emoticon for that?)

    Signed,

    An Official Library Paraprofessional (CO is teeming with our ilk.)

  111. resriechan says:

    @ Juno:

    Book suggestions, :)(“teeming”/ “ilk”) :) I LOVE THIS JOINT !!!! :)

    Signed,
    The Crowd Goes Wild

  112. gravyboat says:

    That kitteh is going to end up driving like that Hilton ho at 4 a.m.

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