From the monthly archives: October 2009

The New York Lottery Must Be Stopped

Not content to disrupt a peaceful slumber party, now those noisy goons from the New York Lottery are crashing a bucolic Bunday picnic at (what’s left of) Coney Island.  Have these people no sense of decency?

Wanna split a funnel cake Nathan’s hot dog, sbovio?  Theresa’s buying.

Caturday. The last word.

And finally tonight, here’s what your cats are really thinking when you’re yakking at them all baby-talk-like:

You’ll remember this famous translator from “Two Cats Talking” right Neil F.?

Caturday Mexican Stand-off

THREE CATS!

+ ONE STEAK!

+ LAWS OF PHYSICS!

+ CLAWING STRATEGIES!

How will it end!?

Sender-Inner and Strategerizer (strategy + tenderizer) Elva S. sent this one in.

“So, in a nutshell…”

“…the outfits on Project Runway are getting waaay too costumey.”

nutshell

Flying Squirrel Forest Fashion via Snuzzy, sent by “Ant” at Ant’s Quality Foraged Links. Caption improved by Kar the Kommenter

If Elvis Returned as a Moth

Thank you, Thank you very much… [sneer]

Elvis

Light Attraction photo and caption was created by rivadock4 and suggested by Celeste R.

A box labeled “Schnozzle”

We hoped the movers had used enough packing bubbles.

Had the ‘Fragile’ stickers worked? Had Schnozzle made the trip in one piece?

There was only one way to find out.

boxhab

Nose-out-of-the-box – Thanks! is by orangedroplet.

Wait—It’s Trick… Or Treat?

Since when do I have to choose?  I mean, speaking as a raccoon, we’re sort of accustomed to doing both at once.  Like knocking over your garbage cans to take all the yummy scraps; that sort of thing.

(Which reminds me: We’ll be smashing those pumpkins later, so just leave the beer and sandwiches on the step, thanks.)

See, that's called 'synergy.'  Do I have to explain *everything* to you people?

Secrets of Ethical Magic!

For longer performances, you may be required to have various animals secreted about your person for extended periods.  To ensure their comfort and well-being, always provide snacks just before going onstage.

ham in sleeve scaled

Excuse Me, Sir, Can We Get Some More Bread?

I hope it goes right to their hips.

You expect me to bring you more bread after THAT lazy-ass caption?

Photo courtesy of Nigel Treblin/AFP/Getty Images

Those Smiles Are Fake

Really? You’re just going to stand there on the other side of the glass and take pictures? I’m just waiting for the day when the only thing that separates us is your mask. If I were you – and I’m glad that I’m not – I’d learn how to wield that snorkel like a sword, capesh?

Why so blue?

Photo courtesy of Timm Schamberger/AFP/Getty Images