The Neighborhood Will Never Be the Same

Willard and Wanda Worrywart were, perhaps predictably, two nervous nellies to be begin with. Willard often compulsively paced in circles, while Wanda fretted over the smallest disruptions.

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

But in recent days, the Worrywarts often found themselves on the verge of suffering full-blown panic attacks. Their mental states were deteriorating, and Willard was especially affected.

I know I'm not a big prayer, Cod, but if you could help me, I'd appreciate it.

It was their new neighbor; he was bizarre, and frankly, terrifying. It was like living in an episode of the Twilight Zone.

When googly eyes aren't cute.

They had no one to complain to, so they were forced to endure the daily harassment. Neither Willard nor Wanda knew how long they’d last. But they knew one thing for certain: When they woke up, he would be there.

Call me Brimley and prepare to die.

Call some therapists, Vicki C. and Regina C.

Comments

  1. Brimley!

  2. Blurp!
    This is a hoot!

  3. Princess Rot says:

    A fish called Wanda. Ver’ clever, suh.

  4. 260Oakely says:

    Soon to be made into a horror flick starring Joe Pesce

  5. OK, I have a complaint. Would you please put a disclaimer at the top of the post that those in offices should close their door so coworkers are not alarmed by hoots of laughter emanating from aforementioned office?
    Thank you.

    BRILLIANT STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perfection in every way. The last shot of the fishy looking up was awesome and then….the cat! Hilarious!

  6. Great googly-moogly!

  7. This. Is. Frakking. BRILLIANT!!!!

  8. Wait — Wally and Wilma? I think you missed an adjustment from your first draft, Prongs.

    That said, Willard does look sort of like a cross between WALL-E and a character from Finding Nemo.

  9. Hee hee hee hee hee hee! [co-worker is staring] hee hee hee hee!

  10. You made my day! Brilliant!

  11. LOL Prongs. I’ve been seeing some of these images as I compile the 2011 Calendar sources, and this was very well composited & narrated. :D

  12. AuntieMame says:

    Oh man. Awesomest scroll-down EVAR!!!

    Hee hee hee hee!

  13. I know it’s not nice to laught at somebody else’s misery, but ROFL you made my day!

  14. ButtaRumCake says:

    *throws head back in loud guffaw*
    *looks over shoulder embarrassed because office manager caught me*
    *shows office manager*
    *giggles uncontrollably with office manager*

  15. OMG! X-D… I have a new desktop background! :-P

  16. ButtaRumCake says:

    Wait…..wait….

    “I know I’m not a big prayer, *COD*,….”

    *SSSS…NERRRRRK*

  17. OMG Prongs! :lol: I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time! *hands Prongs the Internets Trophy*

  18. those eyes!! its ridiculous!

  19. doggabone says:

    GENIUS!

    “Call me Brimley and prepare to die” is my new favourite phrase, and I intend to use it often. I might as well say nonsensical things, as my cube-mates are staring at me with concern already, thanks to this.

  20. MissKitty says:

    Nooo kitteh… don’t do it! Don’t eat fishehs. They will give you teh diabetus!

    (Hey, I didn’t mention the B word :D )

  21. resriechan says:

    @ Prongs: A+++++++++++++++++++++ AND Extra Credit, TOO !!!!!

    Ya got fisheyegooglieeyes and then ya got a Cat w/ Big Hairy Eyeballs of YUM……

    …..one teensy leetle qwershtyun: Did the Worrywarts schedule appts with Dr. Lipschkl;;jklhjpioibv i …., who was counseling the doggie w/ purple shades & briefcase? Or is that counselor already overbooked?

  22. resriechan says:

    oh no I di-unt even comment on THA TONGUE !!

    (tongue-hance? I dunno; maybe this closeup is pretty adequately detailed. I’ll defer to the CO Peeps, and ask for their votes on that aspect…..Peeps?)

  23. @resriechan — Dr. Lipschwitz was booked with a future patient who is in way worse condition. Stay tuned.

  24. resriechan says:

    @ Prongs:

    Wow; now THAT is some seriously SPEEDY Reception Desk response time!!!!!Perhaps we should nom-inate (see, what I did there–*snerk*) Dr. L. for the next Nobel Prize, when Pres. Obama has finished, with his turn?

  25. Kitty- “I’d like to talk to you about your diabetehs testing supplies if you have a moment!”
    Fishy- “bloop”

  26. A fish called Wanda! HA!

    Fantastic pictures!

  27. Darn, J., you beat me to it! :)

    Those are some CUTE fish! I never can get good photos of my fish- they’re always blurry, or there is light reflecting all over the place.

  28. Prongs you are KING OF THE LAB !!!!
    (Guess , I watch “Bones” waaaaay too much !)

  29. Any fish gurus know what type of goldfish they are?

  30. D: but buggier…

  31. @Deckard, you definitely picked up the cartoonular vibe from these little guys. :D

  32. PS :shock:

  33. Is that fish on the bottom of the tank dead? Or are its eyes just that googly? And Brimley is simply adorable!

    [Of course it isn’t dead! Dead ones float belly-up on the surface. :P – Ed.]

  34. Oh, Cod, the Brinmley scroll-down just screams out for dramatic repetitive violin scary music. Whee whee wheee whee (like Psycho, I mean).
    This is my first, and very-much-needed laugh of the day.

  35. =D

  36. graceofbass says:

    I must add to the comments of brilliantosity on your part, Prongs. That was vair, vair funny.

  37. bookmonstercats says:

    O Cod, thank you for the funniest yet. Amen

  38. motionsinlimine says:

    @Mina

    They’re known as celestial-eyed goldfish. I used to have one named Fred. I loved that fish. The tank would magnify his eyes, so it could be rather unnerving at times, especially when you’re just trying to watch a little TV in the living room. I always had the strange sensation that someone was watching me.

  39. that last photo of da feeshie! HAW HAW HAW

    pooor feeshie!

  40. How adorable… I want one! Does anyone know what kind of fish these are?

  41. @resriechan: You don’t think that photo is already at tongue-hance closeupedness? ;)

  42. too funny!! lol

  43. @Theresa #42 – That commercial FREAKS.ME.OUT. I can’t explain why…

    Excellent post, Prongs.

    @doggabone #43 – You can never get too tongue-hanced.

  44. Oh great, Theresa; I didn’t even play the video, and I have an earworm! Thankyouverymuch.

    Oh, Cod!

  45. @Blondie: Your response just SCREAMS for a “That’s what she said!”.

  46. That cat is my new icon.

  47. Hilarious. Those fish are classic. Want.

  48. @doggabone: OMG! LMAO!! Yes it does… :-)

  49. Oh Prongs. I am giving you a hearty sitting ovation! That was HILARIOUS!

  50. aaaah prongs, breeeleeeeant post! i heart the last 2 pics, what a way to finish!
    BRAVO!

  51. A cod pun! Yay!

  52. @ Mina – Those are baby bubble eye goldfish!

  53. In “Happy Aquarium” on Facebook, one of my fishies is named Wanda. But the funny thing is, I didn’t name her after the movie (which is a favorite of mine). I was naming my fishies after characters in “Sandman” and “Love and Rockets” comic books, and I named a pair of fish “Alvin” and “Wanda” after the transsexual in “A Game of You.” Then it hit me, and I remembered the movie. Duh.

    “Big Hairy Eyeballs of YUM”….LOL!

  54. Maybe they should be a ‘o-holy-hand-of-god-who-grants-us-our-daily-pellet’ chapel.

    Seriously, Willard could claim he had a vision of a heavenly hand coming down to annoint an oil droplet on his head. Hey, he has photographic proof!

  55. That last fishy look up, with the UHOH mouth … omg, it’s too much. TOO MUCH!

  56. Hi-freakin’-larious. Prongs, you’ve outdone yourself this time.

  57. Thanks motionsinlimine! I looked up that breed and apparently as babies celestial-eyed goldfish have normal eyes, and as they grow older their eyes gradually protrude more and more upwards… o_o

  58. I always get to these too late to ask the question.. and then no one else is posting, but I wondered why no one else is wondering why this cat has a PINK forehead? :)

  59. victoreia says:

    @Sue: oh, good catch! Maybe he got into his human’s lipstick stash….

  60. victoreia says:

    (Hey…it could happen!)

  61. Sue, I assumed that kitty was an avatar of Shiva or Kali. Not to get too ecumenical here.

  62. Queen of Dork says:

    OMC!

  63. Resriechan says:

    Noelegy: am glad yew enjoyed. I was akshually writin’ on the run (on my way out the door across town), so it was verrry much stream o’ weird consciousness,
    with that ‘un !!!!

    Peace.

  64. Please put these pics up on the wikipedia. They have one bad pic of a celestial-eye goldfish., where your can not even see the gorgeous googly eyes!

    I know Willard and Wanda wantz to be famous!

  65. Please, please, please, clean out your kitteh’s eye crunchies. So gross.

  66. I think I could use some of these fish. They make me laugh and I could use a good laugh!

  67. Is this normal or are the fish sick? Sometimes fish eyes get infected with worms which makes them swell like that. If that’s the case this picture is sad, not cute.

    [It’s normal for this species, yes. – Ed.]

  68. How about those bubble-eye fish? :)

  69. “Call me Brimley and prepare to die.” XD I’m gonna start saying that now!

    PS The last pic with the fish looking up… redonkulously cute

  70. Gert Deli says:

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those fish are so cool and the cat!!! What kind of fish are those? I am going to Petsmart now to get fish!!!

  71. My wife made a short film in film school about a lonely girl and a celestial-eyed goldfish called “Audrey and Einstein.” We had to get them shipped in from Texas, via Fedex! Please don’t think this is spam, but it’s available on iTunes for anyone who’s interested in seeing this adorable fish in action. (It’s a pretty good little short too, IMO):

    http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewMovie?id=260697253&s=143441

  72. OMG OMG OMG OMG. that fish looks just like my long lost beloved squishypuff fish. http://seafoodpunch.com/2009/03/12/squishypuff-the-mutated-goldfish/

    ah, squishypuff. I shall always remember how you waddled your deformed little fin around just to get at the same pebble that you constantly confused with a piece of food. I miss you and your chubby face.

  73. Bat-Snake says:

    Those last two pictures REALLY do it for me XD !

  74. I think the pink forehead is the tongue reflected on the fish tank?

  75. Barnacles! the pool fishie!

  76. THEY PRAY TO COD.

    This is the best site in the world.

    [Nice! Post updated. ;) – Ed.]

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