Technically, This Isn’t Stalking

Every time I see her, I just can’t look away.  I try to tell myself I’m over her, but then I see that face, those eyes… and that’s when I say to hell with the restraining order…


Here I am, my darling!  I’ve missed you so much — did you miss me, too?  I got so worried when you didn’t answer my last 47 letters that I just had to see you…


Wait, who’s this?  Not him again!  I thought I told you to stay away from him!  Can’t you see he’s no good for you?  He’ll never love you the way that I love you!  Never!


Yes, just the two of us now… Oh, my sweet, how I’ve longed for this moment to come once more… to gaze into those faraway eyes, to kiss those full pouting lips, ohhhharrghthphth hrrarghtphht slobber slobber mmmghpth hmrrphth…


Alllll rightie then, Julie O.



  1. Bwahahahaha, quite a backstory he’s got! And that whole photoset is TOO stinkin’ ADORABLE! What on *Earth* makes him spaz out like that? I wouldn’t mind if that little dustbunny ignored his restraining order for *me*, letmetellyou!

  2. ButtaRumCake says:


    *deep breath*



  3. Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat, I love you… Yeeesss I dooooooo. You and your pussy cat eyes!

    That song has been stuck in my head all morning, and now THIS gets posted. It’s like it was fate or something. 😉

  4. O



  5. Oh that’s hilarious! Those pics! *ploit* It’s hard to make stalking a funny subject matter for me but this takes the cake. Good job!

  6. HEHE.. My kittys do this to the buggies on the outside of the window.. they make weird clicky noises too.. like they think the bugs can talk back to them.. or something…

  7. kikiwillow says:

    Very adorable. And I apologize in advance for being a nuffer, but the stalker stuff (even in jest) totally wigs me out.

  8. gatita bonita says:

    You are too funny, Mike. Ever thought of doing stand-up comedy?

    [Thanks for the compliment. I prefer to think of myself as a ‘sit-down comedian.’ — Mike]

  9. Even doggies love marmies.

  10. Mike rules.

  11. Sara Sunshine says:

    “Your eyes, your lips. Come with me to the Casbaaaah. We’ll make beautiful music together.” Quote by Yosemite Sam from Looney Tunes

    [audio src="" /]

  12. LOL Sara!! Perfect!

    All I wanna do is beep your nose. That’s all. Please? Pretty please?
    (jump… thunk…slobber…)
    MOM! Why is this TV screen in the way! I almost got her nose!

    ***Temporary Thread Hijack***
    If you’re in the DC area, come see Rockville Musical Theater’s production of West Side Story. I’ll be in the booth, running lights. Hopefully I won’t be asleep…
    /***Temporary Thread Hijack***

    [♫ Ma-ri-aaaa, I’ve just stalked a cat named Ma-ri-aaaa… ♫ – Mike]

  13. I lurve, lurve, lurve that pic #3 appears to be post-jump… I wondered for a moment how the lil guy’s hair was all pointing toward the ceiling!
    And NTMTOM, “sit down comedian” – *snerk*
    Love it!

  14. AuntieMame says:

    ohhhharrghthphth hrrarghtphht slobber slobber mmmghpth hmrrphth


    How romantic! *sigh*


  15. Sasha's mum says:

    Oh dear, I hate to break it to Mr. Bichon but … ginger tabbies are almost always *male.*

    The love that dare not speak its name …

  16. When you see NTMTOM on the tag line, you know it’s GOT to be good!

  17. My marmie is a female – and she would find that puppy awfully cute!

    Excellent job as always, NTMTOM. 🙂

  18. that is some cute puppy-muffin. I can hear the words now.

    what is zis? Zot alores. I must ‘ave her. She is the cat of my dreams….

    I just want to cuddle and kiss all 8.75 lbs of that pupster.

  19. ScoutsMom says:

    Cute little pup. That cat was on Animal Planet’s Pet Star. He/She did an amazing balancing act. As most cat owners know, it is very difficult to get a cat to do anything when you want them to, yet this one performed in front of a live audience. Very talented cat and trainer. Heck, Scout can hardly walk across the coffee table without falling off.

  20. “hrrarghtphht “? I love it.

  21. Mr. Bichon can be the first canine member of the Marmie Cat Fan Club. (We are legion, as all regular visitors to CO know.)

  22. Okay, hilarious! That little dog is getting pretty wound up!

  23. Mary (the first) says:

    Totally made me LOL all over here at work. I love reading the text first .. try to guess what the photo will be..and then scroll down. It just extends the fun…

  24. Sorry, stalking is not funny. You could have done a perfectly fine narrative with him just admiring the cat from afar. I am about done with CO. And I really don’t care if people think I am “nuffing.”

    [ Let me see if I understand this correctly: You aren’t concerned about what effect your ideas may have on others, yet I’m supposed to alter my silly, satirical ideas because of the effect they have on you? Well, that seems fair. And just out of curiosity, what form would this “perfectly fine narrative” have taken? — Mike ]

  25. coprogirl says:

    Beeeeeshon Free Say………My Bridgie used to love animal planet too. Too precious!

  26. @ Sasha’s mum 10.30.09 at 12:39 pm

    Oh dear, I hate to break it to Mr. Bichon but … ginger tabbies are almost always *male.*

    You forgot to had “Not that there’s anything wrong with that” 🙂

  27. A less offensive narrative idea could have gone something like

    “Oh kitty, you are so lovely…. I must get closer to you”

    “I adore your ginger stripes”


    And actually, considering that your “silly satirical” ideas support a cultural idea that stalking is harmless and/or funny, and my ideas are objecting to that… There’s a difference.

  28. Here, read the fact sheet:

    [ Link deleted, but I did read it. I recognize that there are real problems in the world, but expecting one blog to have any meaningful effect on them burdens us unfairly and to no useful purpose. We are here to make people laugh, and most of our readers do. If you find that difficult here, there are many other sites to choose from. — Mike ]

  29. The first photo shows he is quite…..enamoured, if you get my drift! Quite the little stud!

  30. kibblenibble says:

    I’ve been stalked. By two people. Simultaneously. Over a looong period of time.(Really!) Yet I found this funny and adorable. It’s a dog getting excited about seeing a cat on TV!!! It’s humor. It’s why we come here. *Takes deep breath. Exhales. Shrugs. Walks away.*

  31. pinkmariposas says:

    I thought my lil Bichon-poo mix went crazy for TV !
    this lil doggie is in looove with a cute kittykat!
    cute and like that NTMTOM is my fav!!!!

  32. That’s Charlie, otherwise known as Chuck or Chucky, and he is a Maltese not a Bichon, thank you very much. And yes, he entertains us on a daily basis.

    Chucky’s Mom

  33. Oops – the little cutie is a Maltese. Sometimes it is very hard to tell the Bichon Frise, Havanese and Maltese apart – even when they’re together.

  34. loooool

  35. Has anyone called the cops? There is that restraining order, you know….. 😉

  36. Are you sure he’s not simply enamored with that nice TV?