Friday Haiku: … And Don’t Feed Them After Midnight

A gruesome gremlin
Dredged from the depths to inspire
Your horror haiku



That looks like a three-towel job, Lorena C.



  1. awwwww….! I’m SO watching Gremlins tonight!

  2. awwwwwww droopy ear-furs!

  3. Andi from NC says:

    I’m drippinks with goo!!!
    Trying to be scary! “Boo!!!”
    Alas, I’m still prosh…

  4. Wow! That’s one amazing fur ball caught in the drain. Ew!

  5. I’m so cute it hurts
    And hurt you I surely will
    But first a towel please!

  6. You need to pronounce towel as “towl” to give it only one syllable. 🙂

  7. My ears stick out far.
    I look like The Flying Nun.
    You really like me!

  8. A signature scent
    Is every puppy’s best friend
    Mine: Eu de Dead Mouse

  9. I squeeze him to me
    shirt soaking up the water
    no towel needed

  10. Strange gremlin
    That has moist nosicle
    Limpid eyes, and teeny pawsitude

  11. I can not get wet!
    Brussel sprouts will grow on me
    Turns into gremlins

    Mogwais have to be
    the cutest things in the world
    Not so for gremlins

    You are so getting
    A SPECIAL Halloween treat
    In your leather pumps!

  12. Way back in the day
    Bathtub gin was made with grain
    Does this taste funny?

    [Semi-relevant linkage added 😉 – Ed.]

  13. LovesDogs says:


    [Seek me, do you? – Y-Dogg]

  14. Stunbunny says:

    Damp like water bowl
    Shivering in my moist shame
    Wet dog smell won’t leave!

  15. lady i got your
    sink all fixed. i’m cuter than
    your average plumber.

  16. fixed = 1 syll
    average = 2 syll

    i hope!

    [To make extra certain, you could contract it like this: av’rage – Ed.]

  17. damn doggie shampoo!
    just when i was starting to
    smell like a real dog

  18. Cute gremlin-like pup
    Grab a towel and cuddle
    Beep beep beep

    Ok, maybe poetry isn’t my thing…

  19. 260Oakely says:

    Please don’t use Draino
    This clog will remove itself
    When it’s time for treats

  20. This dog looks A LOT like my dog Kira! We call her gremlin too 😀

  21. @ Katiedid – BRILLIANT

    You wouldn’t do this
    to the d@#$ cat so why
    to me – rotten trick

  22. earworm hijack: commence!

    Though I’m the one who’s soaking wet,
    Your body starts to SHIVER —
    For no mere mortal can survive
    The CO of . . . the THRILLER.

    Vincent Price evil laugh: “Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . . .”

  23. MissKitty says:

    I is not scary.
    Present I leave in your shoes,
    Now that be scary.

  24. It’s a wet Yorkie!
    Poor thing looks so despondent.
    “Mommy let me out!”

    At least, that’s what my mom’s yorkie “says” when he’s getting a bath. And those dogs have to be bathed weekly.

  25. Foul breath of sewer
    animates hairball and sludge;
    terror from below!

    A slow swim upstream,
    a narrow squeeze at the drain,
    the Thing finds the sink!

    I”m warning you now:
    Don’t go into the bathroom;
    you’ll never return….

    Have a happy, spooky Halloween everyone! 🙂

  26. WOW! LOL at all y’all. Gizmo, aquamarine… and a whole bunch of others. CO poets rock!!

  27. Nice one, Oakley! (#19) If only all our drains could clear themselves! 🙂

  28. Evil balloons fly
    Fanged clown climbs out of sewer
    No, wait. That was “It.”

  29. “Come close, if you dare,
    And I shall have my revenge:
    It’s the SHAKE OF DEATH!!

    Mwa ha ha ha ha!!”
    Shake splatter splatter splatter
    shriek cower collapse.

    (Somehow I don’t think this is what the Japanese had in mind when they developed this poem form…)

  30. almost forgot the seasonal reference!

    ah, fall on the moors
    soft showers of brown yorkies
    breathe sweet puppy breath

  31. jenn, i’m sure you’re right, but oh, friday haiku feeds my soul!!! i love reading all of these!

  32. DaytimeDeb says:

    Little dog works hard
    To smell just the way he likes
    Now he starts over.

  33. Drip, Drip, Drip, water.
    What IS that funky odor?
    The Cute is worth it.

  34. ButtaRumCake says:

    LOVE IT @ dub1

    *gears up for all-day Thriller-dance in the living room tomorrow* LOLOL

  35. metsakins says:

    Gave my dog a bath.
    Didn’t go as well as planned.
    Hooray for groomers.

  36. Dipped, dunked, and ker’plunked
    Baptism is no help for
    Horizontal ears

  37. Midnight in Arkham
    Cthulhu is done dreaming
    “I can has world end?”
    Horror from the deep
    Gruesome, drippy drain monster
    Wants braaains now!*

    *you have to say it zombie-like for the syllables to work 🙂

  38. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    Off-label use of
    Yorkie ears; horizontal
    And not vertical.

  39. I was a black lab
    When I got in this d**n sink
    Stupid hot water!

  40. Argyle Donkeypants & Dogma: GOOOOOOOD! 😀

  41. resriechan says:

    Placing my happy vote for Everybody

    (But my extra shiny vote, with Rhinestones attached, to Aquamarine @ # 15!!!!)
    Do you prefer pink or silver Rhinestones?

  42. divinebluesky says:

    dog snorts scornfully,
    smells like wet human in here;
    and you thought I stunk!

  43. Gremlindog is not amused.

  44. charliewabba says:

    Never mind the towel.
    I will roll myself dry
    on your new down comforter.

  45. @ resreichan: you humble me, madam! :-[ + O:-)
    (that’s supposed to be a cross between an embarrassed smiley and an innocent smiley—embarrassed + innocent = humble? i am rather smiley deficient.)

    if my choice is pink or silver rhinestones…..may i have chocolate covered peanuts?

  46. bookmonstercats says:

    A full-on glare and
    Then the paw-sy lifts right up;
    “I am now Teh Qte.”

  47. Hot water all gone
    Disappeared into the sink
    Shivering commence!

    p.s. LOL @ dogma!

  48. How can I help it?
    Smelly things, rub them I must
    Bath is punishment

  49. OMG I thought for a second someone stole my dog, took him to a strange white bathroom and bathed him!! He looks just like my Yorkie, Dante – complete with the “Why Mommy? Don’t you love me anymore?” look!

  50. I used to love you.
    I’m not so sure anymore.
    Don’t fall asleep tonight.

  51. oh woe misery;
    next time just use spray shampoo
    and my tail will wag

  52. @Charliewabba,
    you know it!

  53. Call teh Ghost Busters.
    I drip with ectoplasm.
    I have been slime-ed.

  54. You punish me so,
    soap suds, water and splashing,
    I shall fly away!

  55. I am no gremlin.
    Pay no attaynshions to those
    pods on my back, please.

  56. Call the Ghost Busters…
    Again. The sewer is full
    of pink slimy goo.

  57. Bobbing for apples
    is fun until you fall in.
    New scent: eaux de pomme.

  58. @lauren: more like eau de pomme de terre

  59. Baby may be cute,
    But he will grow and won’t fit
    If you try to flush.

  60. octopuppy says:

    When Yoda had hair
    the sewer pipes he did live
    sink popping surprise

  61. Mary (the first) says:

    Wet soapy pup in tub?
    Or victim of autumn rain?
    Too prosh, either way.

  62. Queen of Dork says:

    Why have you done this?
    Turned me into a gremlin?
    Oh! For Halloween!

  63. Drenched, soaked to the bone
    Medieval ladies wore
    Hats like his wet ears


  64. I like charliewabba’s haiku. Wish I’d thought of it first.

  65. Simple directions:
    Never get them wet or you’ll
    be sorry – oh noes!!

  66. Had to give my stinky hedgehog a bath tonight and he just sits there, his front paws hooked over the bowl rim, his face set in a resigned expression, waiting for the water torture to be over with, so that he can be all wrapped up in towels. This Yorkie has similar mannerisms – I feel his pain and indignity of being bathed.

  67. Resriechan says:

    Hi QoD!! Nice Halloween Haiku !!

    @ Aquamarine: Ma’am, we are honored to be of service. We have arranged the following 3 items, for your selection. Enjoy your prize(s) in good health, ma’am !!

    (Sp. Note: I located some groovy graphics…one of ’em has a fairly complex address, so it won’t all fit onto one line; hope that you’re able to just click & go there. If it won’t work, I’ll take awhile more to find another item)

    Your Humble Servant in Cuteness

  68. Resriechan says:

    @ Blondie re # 18

    Regardless, it is evident, that “beeping” certainly is!!! Such elegant wrist action !!!!

  69. deserve this? not me!
    i lick and snorgle my parts
    next thing i know-splash!

    the force WAS with me
    my light sabre striking true
    a jedi knight , i AM!

    loser gets bath first!
    take you hands off me, i say
    three kings beats three queens

    you say you like art?
    jackson pollock splatter paint
    your wall with wetness

    pay me no ‘ten-shun?
    your texting is annoying!
    you tap, you get wet!!

    doggeh smell down drain
    whats left, i’ll put on your bed
    sniff, sniff. now lets snooze

    large drippy bat ears
    weapons of wet destruction
    i’ll shake them on you

    hey, you missed a spot
    come closer, closer….. closer!
    ha-ha!! now catch me!!!

    yes i’m a yorkie
    a hallo-weener dog, not
    so turn off that grille!

  70. Anyone else notice that the 2nd line is 8 syllables? “Inspire” is three, but it could work if you didn’t count the ‘re’ as a syllable.

    [Actually “inspire” counts as two, just like “fire” is supposedly only one syllable. I know, I know; but English does have its quirks. – Ed.]

  71. @resreichan:

    aww, you shouldn’t have! while the rhinestone studded mouse is awfully tempting, i am unable to resist the chocolate covered VIRGINIA peanuts, no less. mmmmm…..crunch, crunch….licks fingers……crunch crunch crunch……..

    i can hardly wait for next haiku friday!

  72. DaytimeDeb says:

    I’ve never seen “this comment is awaiting moderation” before. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what I said that wasn’t cute-friendly. Then I noticed you actually corrected my haiku in the previous post. I wasn’t expecting that, thanks! And people say you can’t get good service anymore… 🙂

  73. Resriechan says:

    @ Daytime Deb:

    Thus the term “Our Gracious Editors” !!!!