Excuse Me, Sir, Can We Get Some More Bread?

by Prongs on October 16, 2009

I hope it goes right to their hips.

You expect me to bring you more bread after THAT lazy-ass caption?

Photo courtesy of Nigel Treblin/AFP/Getty Images

{ 74 comments }

1 KatieZientek 10.16.09 at 6:31 am

That pipe is sure to get clogged!

2 Katiedid 10.16.09 at 6:34 am

I hope it goes to their hips too! More drumsticks :-P

3 KatieAlso 10.16.09 at 6:40 am

Only people named Katiesomething can post to this thread, apparently.

4 debg 10.16.09 at 6:44 am

I like ostriches. I do. They’re just totally cool. And stop calling me Katie.

5 260Oakley 10.16.09 at 6:45 am

The definition of “rubber necking”

6 ceejoe 10.16.09 at 6:51 am

ok wait. I need some perspective here… how big is that ostrich? or how big is the loaf of bread?

7 Rachael 10.16.09 at 6:55 am

Leaving now to change my name to Katie.

8 GreyandWhite kitty 10.16.09 at 6:57 am

I think Mr. Ostrich could use a hand. Looks like his bread is a little stuck. Bite size is always too big.

9 kittyadventures 10.16.09 at 7:26 am

Hmmm my new name shall be KatieAdventures
LOLOL

That bread is gonna take a bit of time to clear the old pipes there

10 Sarah-Jane 10.16.09 at 7:30 am

This is cute, but in general I don’t like Ostriches. I went to Lion Country Safari as a child and I will never forget how agressive and viscious they are. Feathery velosa raptors they are. Put a crack in the glass windows on the car. Dude Where’s My Car? does not exagerate

11 DKN 10.16.09 at 7:37 am

Is it on ostrich or an emu? It seem little and fuzzy for an ostrich. But might be a baby?

12 Theo 10.16.09 at 7:43 am

I need some scale reference. :| El Birdo looks to me like it might be carrying a whole loaf of bread, but I can’t really tell. - Kateho

13 earlybird1 10.16.09 at 7:43 am

“Yep, looks like ya got something wedged in yer U-bend there. Good thing ya called Plumrs R Us, we’ll get ‘er cleaned out.”

14 Saffron 10.16.09 at 7:47 am

Appears to be a semolina roll. Yum! Ostrich looks like he is saying “I need to make a sammich! Does anyone know where the Baconnaise is?”

@ Katies: Is your name not Bruce? Mind if I call you Bruce?

15 earlybird1 10.16.09 at 7:50 am

If Baconnaise truly exists, I must gets me some! What an inspired invention! *runs off to nearest grocery store*

16 ceejoe 10.16.09 at 7:56 am

saffron… thanks! if it’s a roll, that makes more sense. if it was a loaf of bread – yikes! – that would have been one big boid!!

17 Hon Glad 10.16.09 at 8:10 am

Pimlico Plumbers are ready for any situation, but this!

18 Momcat 10.16.09 at 8:17 am

Hmm is my name short for Momkatie? Anyway, have you SEEN the hips on those guys? I mean, in comparison to those skinny birdlegs, WOW!

19 Metz 10.16.09 at 8:18 am

Ah a rare photo of the Pygmy Long Necked Corn Catcher.
These elusive beasties lurk in the underbrush amongst the corn fields, reaching out
to snap up errant kernels of corn to line their nests. Unfortunately their body heat causes the kernels to expand, or “pop”, which then frightens them away. When they dare to return they find the “popped” corn has been scavenged by the Short Nosed Stubbed Toe Whistler. And thus the cycle begins anew as the Corn Catcher searches for more kernels for their nest.

(what? it does sorta look like a kernel of corn :wink: )

20 BeckyMonster 10.16.09 at 8:31 am

I should change my name to KatieMonster!

21 Portie Mom 10.16.09 at 8:53 am

OOOOOOOO yes, Baconnaise exists! It’s great. Google it and you’ll find you can buy it online from a company whose entire line of stuff is BACON FLAVORED.

It would help that roll to roll down more smoothly.

22 The Urban Cowboy 10.16.09 at 9:05 am

Bit off more than it could chew, I see.

[You know what's a disturbing thought? ...ostrich molars. :x - Ed.]

23 kittykye 10.16.09 at 9:11 am

Katiekye here…
Wow, I sure hope that guy doesn’t swallow it whole. It’ll emulate the snake-and-rabbit look (I know, horrible thought).
Hee… just picture it on him though. I feel a photoshop coming on.

24 ceejoe 10.16.09 at 9:12 am

Baconnaise… omg, what a wonderful country we live in. I will say, that as a vegetarian of 10-plus years, bacon is one of the few things I honestly miss. And veggie bacon just ain’t the same!

25 Von Zeppelin 10.16.09 at 9:17 am

Actually the bird is only three inches tall, and that’s a very small piece of English toffee.

26 ceejoe 10.16.09 at 9:20 am

omg!!! Baconaise is vegetarian! I am SO excited!
(yes, I live a simple life)

27 skippymom 10.16.09 at 9:31 am

Baconnaise! Wow! Got to get some. Dreaming of a baconless BLT right now. Ceejoe, some years ago when I worked in the kitchen at a health-food store, I had to cook a couple of packages of veggie “bacon” (forget the brand name) each week. I thought it smelled awful, but one day out of curiosity I actually tasted a piece, and YECHH!!! immediately spit it out. Why bother?

28 BeckyMonster 10.16.09 at 9:53 am

@ceejoe

Sometimes simple pleasures are the best! And I can’t imagine veggie bacon… sounds like a crime against humanity.

29 victoreia 10.16.09 at 9:57 am

VonZep, that’s one scary English Toffee!

30 Theresa 10.16.09 at 10:06 am

Jon Stewart said “Baconnaise, for people who want to have a heart attack, but are too lazy to get off their asses and make bacon.” :mrgreen:

31 AuntieMame 10.16.09 at 10:17 am

Hmm…KatieMame or AuntieKate? My middle name is “Kay.” Does that count?

I hope that’s just a dinner roll, otherwise it’s gonna take a while to get through the U-bend so it can reach the ostrich’s hips.

32 AuntieMame 10.16.09 at 10:18 am

And LOL at Jon Stewart! I love bacon, but I am too lazy to get off my ass and make it. Bring on the baconnaise!

33 Amikit 10.16.09 at 10:25 am

Actually, it looks like a dinner roll that you can buy in bulk at Costco.

34 Theresa 10.16.09 at 10:37 am

@AuntieMame, if I could, I would arrange for someone or something (perhaps some Wallace-and-Gromit-like contraption) to just drop things into my mouth while I remain recumbent.

35 skippymom 10.16.09 at 10:49 am

Theresa, I will freely admit that I am indeed too lazy to make bacon. I mean, there’s the whole curing process and the time involved, not to mention what comes before that…yeah, too much work.

[*facepaw* - Ed.]

36 Theresa 10.16.09 at 10:56 am

@Skippymom, I see what you did there. :P I do think that a fully vegetarian product that tasted exactly, but exactly, like bacon, would be a world-shattering discovery. A real Holy Grail, or Philosopher’s Stone.

37 Birdcage 10.16.09 at 10:56 am

Baconnaise! I am fascinated by the direction of these string of comments!

Sincerely, BirdKATEge

38 Katrina 10.16.09 at 11:03 am

Metz- delightful!

39 Theresa 10.16.09 at 11:21 am

PS If you check the Baconnaise website, it says there that they started the business with money won for an entry in America’s Funniest Home Videos. Really. That seems so right, somehow.

40 Katiedid 10.16.09 at 11:23 am

Bacon Mayo.. Blech.. My poor heart hurts just thinking about it.. so does my tummy..
I remember Colbert also talking about Baconnaise.. I think he asked them to stop sending him more of it.. :-D

41 skippymom 10.16.09 at 11:24 am

AND you can also buy bacon-flavored lip balm from those guys! Who among us is going to try that first?

42 Luke 10.16.09 at 11:25 am

A profile of the the incredible Ostrich:

43 Theresa 10.16.09 at 11:31 am

@Luke, thanks for that, they are strangely charming. Was reminded of this:

44 resriechan 10.16.09 at 11:35 am

(Excuse me for interrupting) …but ….Skippymom:

(with all love, affection blahblahblah)……Pourqoui on veut un “baconless BLT”?
Qu’est ce que ca fait pour la vie ?

Signed,
If the bacon falls off your BLT, is it really there?

45 Gigi 10.16.09 at 11:36 am

Bacon flavored lip blam would NOT be a good idea if you own a dog, you know dogs and bacon, can’t you just picture it! :-)

46 AuntieMame 10.16.09 at 11:41 am

I would totally wear bacon-flavored lip blam. (Thanks for the awesome typo, Gigi. LOL!)

And bacon-scented perfume, too.

47 AuntieMame 10.16.09 at 11:45 am

Oh, and P.S. to Theresa: That would be really cool, but I’d be scared of something going down my trachea or up my nose. If I could be semi-perpendicular instead of fully recumbent, I’d be all over that.

And instead of something mechanical, can I opt for something hunky and male instead? And shirtless? :D

48 skippymom 10.16.09 at 11:46 am

Res, c’est parce qu’on ne veut pas manger les cochons, bien sur.

49 KittyAdventures 10.16.09 at 12:04 pm

@Resriechan if the bacon falls off my sandwhich then I would have to fight the cats for it Snicker

50 Katrina 10.16.09 at 12:10 pm

Thank you Luke,Thank you,Theresa.

51 Lerrikate 10.16.09 at 12:12 pm

I wanna pet that fuzzy neck! :-)

52 Kiragirl 10.16.09 at 12:36 pm

@Gigi,
absolutely right! “Dog germs,” cried Lucy.
Signed,
KiraKatiegirl (That is my name)

53 Kiragirl 10.16.09 at 12:37 pm

@AuntieMame, that would attract a lot of guys, lol
or
Eau de Pizza

54 Francis W. Porretto 10.16.09 at 12:59 pm

To which kindly old Father Flynn intoned, “Thou gettest no bread with one meat ball.”

55 Paunchie 10.16.09 at 1:35 pm

I am also one who thought he looked like a bendy sink pipe! Glarghl! Gulp.

Hey I really like the phrase “while I remain recumbent”…. I think I will use that one!

And YES they are like feathery velosa raptors! Have you ever had the occasion to check out their feet??!!!

56 JohnnieCanuck 10.16.09 at 1:51 pm

I think most hunks would be willing to do the hand-feeding fantasy thing as long as you cater some to their fantasies. Just remember, making them fry the bacon au naturel is abusive.

57 Paunchie 10.16.09 at 1:57 pm

Johnny – bake it in the oven on a cookie sheet, 400 degrees or so. Eliminates undercooked curled up fatty edges, and also the splatter effect from frying it.

Just a tip!

I wonder now, do they have bacon flavored ice cream?? Maybe I can lie recumbent while the bacon is in the oven and be fed (what?) — doritos or something.

58 Susan 10.16.09 at 4:39 pm

Sigh.
I was hoping for Prongstroversy, where some nuffy would say ostriches shouldn’t eat processed bread products. Prongducts?

59 Beth 10.16.09 at 4:55 pm

Prongs is HIGH-larious. Where did she come from?

60 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 5:46 pm

@ Skippymom & KittyAdventures:

Et maintenant, le soleil s’enleve !!! Je comprends et je vous remercie. A moi, je prefere les Doritos Nachos. (Have we been in this neighborhood before? Are we about to start discussing the Tx State Fair & deep-fried Twinkies, now? I still have my notes, from last time, if anyone needs them ….

@ Beth….er…um….perhaps t’other personal pronoun! ……ie a male biped rather than a female biped (& I only say this because we all frantically worried & “conversated” about it, until corrected “one rainy night in Georgia ” (tonight’s earworm, courtesy of the ducks at the Peabody Hotel — look ‘em up) ….

61 Queen of Dork 10.16.09 at 5:46 pm

skippymom: Kate of Dork here. Bacon flavored lip balm? Blech! I guess that would kind of be like rubbing the bacon grease left in the pan on your lips? Yucky!

The ostrich is GORGEOUS! Beautiful feathers!!

62 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 5:48 pm

@ Kiragirl: guys, pwah !!! I, meself, might pick up a bottle of Eau de Pizza.

(Yeah, I know, I got NO shame; hangs head to APPEAR embarrassed to the onlookers)

Signed,
Chef “Boy” -ardee

63 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 5:49 pm

HEY QoD!! I just emailed yer regular thinggie (minds outta the gutter, folks!!)

[Awww, gutter's fun. :( - Ed.]

64 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 6:03 pm

@ Ed: Oh!! Sorry — didn’t intend to prevent yer fun.

Jus don’t want it seemin’ like I’M there. Swim & enjoy then!!

[Oh no, NATURALLY not that, we'd never assume, dearie me no indeed - Ed.]

65 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 6:05 pm

PS: I just realized another Musical Film Reference for the Ostrich & his bread….AND I’m pretty sure that it’s from Dickens, so that pleases another segment o’ CuteOverloaders:

Remember:

“Please, Sir, May I have some more?” asked Oliver

66 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 6:27 pm

@ Ed x2:

Awwww………Can’t a gal have a BIT of Denial/ De Nile????

“Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!”

67 Queen of Dork 10.16.09 at 6:27 pm

Ed: Gutter’s not so much fun when you’re bowling though.

[*D'oh* - Ed.]

68 Happycat 10.16.09 at 7:04 pm

happyKate here…i (and my sweetie) do the whole make bacon thing, start to finish…javelina makes very non-fatty bacon; haven’t tried feral hog yet; might have more fat on it than javelina. We had pronghorn steak tonight; elk planned for tomorrow and the veggies from the garden are almost all gone…until we planted a garden I had no idea potatoes could taste so good!

69 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 7:04 pm

Good one, QoD !!

70 Queen of Dork 10.16.09 at 7:13 pm

Baconnaise. Hmmmmmm. This is a new concept to me and I REALLY wish I had thought of making it first. It sounds good. It would be great on the potatos pulled from Happycat’s (HappyKate’s) garden. We must schedule a pot luck….

71 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 7:38 pm

(yaAAAAAAAWWWWWWN- with a hand over me mouth, ‘o course)

QoD: I’m gwine tuh go to Snoooooozeville. Sorry we din’ have much time to communicate. When I’m done tomorrow afternoon, at about 2 pm Florida time, I’ll come by the Computer Lab then & write your email for a little while.

My brain (such as it is) wants to “stay & play” but the Yawn Police have arrested me.

72 Resriechan 10.16.09 at 7:39 pm

@ Ed’s : hope yer night is…..(I’m too sleepy to come up w/ a punchline)
Just Fine.

Signed,
ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzHonkShuHonkShu (repeat as necessary)

73 caligirl 10.17.09 at 12:41 am

just got back from a snow patrol concert in oakland, ca. and this posting gave me the munchies…. whoever came up w/ baconnaise is theriouthly amazing. i totally want some!

cali(Katie)girl

74 jonah 10.29.09 at 1:38 pm

it is so cute

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