The Cliché Hollywood Nightmare Scene

It begins with a grating chord of violins; the camera creeps in slowly…

100_6273

The subject twists in agony, as thoughts from the subconscious bubble to her lips…

100_6269

The violins screech up and down like angry bees; the subject’s writhing becomes more and more desperate, until she can stand it no longer, AND –

100_6272

GGHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! She bolts upright and stares into the camera!

100_6267

Pass the popcorn, Katelyn D.

Comments

  1. poor tormented kitty
    TOE BEANS!!!

  2. Resriechan says:

    da widdle (guy?gal?transgender?) wooks so traumatized……..

    snugglesnugglesnugglesnuggle (etc., etc. & so forth)

  3. eeee! peeenk nose and jellybeans!!!

  4. resreichan –
    girl! calicos and torties are always girls!

  5. 260Oakley says:

    Luckily, the kitteh was unable to remember anything that happened while she was in her calicoma.

  6. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    @ceejoe: Thank you for reminding me. I have a lazy habit of using “he” generically, but I suspect this annoys some readers. I updated the post.

  7. /blushing/ oh NOMTOM, I would never be annoyed with you…

  8. DaytimeDeb says:

    Cute kitty! It looks in pic #2 that something under the sheets/pillows are trying to pull kitty in by the tail. I keep hearing the “jaws” theme.

  9. There’s not too many things cuter in this world than fuzzy pink beans.

  10. I sometimes wonder if kittens have any bones at all – they can twist themselves into such tiny, twisted, utterly adorable shapes!

  11. Resriechan says:

    Thanks @ ceejoe & NTM re gender specificiosity (?). Now we are all free to go crazy w/ some type of commentroversy & know which pronoun must be used.

    I for one, suggest the subtopic of popcorn, to go along with the whole nutri/antinutritional thread that got Skippymom, me & numerous others merrily rolling along in the (? gee i don’t remember maybe it’s the I love you dog? post; maybe my memory there is incorrect).
    My vote: NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT (did i already say “not” yet?)
    Microwave popcorn. it is only suited for the dumpster & stinks up the entire state in which it has been prepared.
    Now: a little skillfully done chocolate covered popcorn?
    Ahhhhhhh. Now THAT’s what I call good movie food.
    Carry on.

  12. Stunbunny says:

    Looks like Cat-amari Damacy! ‘Cept he hasn’t picked up enough stuff to get to the next stage.

  13. Trabb's Boy says:

    Oh she has no bones at all! What kind of fiend would remove the bones from an innocent kitten . . .

  14. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    @ Resriechan: Someone at my office routinely enjoys a microwave popcorn that smells exactly like the popcorn that Sears used to pop fresh in their stores when I was young. It’s a very pleasant smell and it always triggers memories instantly. I like microwave popcorn OK; it’s the movie theater popcorn that puts me off.

  15. Mary (the first). says:

    I almost hurt myself trying to turn my head around on the first photo, could not figure out what the kitteh configuration was. Finally it “appeared”. What a sweetie, I would love to stick my nose in her tummy and huff warm kitteh smell. Mmmmmm yummy!

  16. In the first three pics, she’s all: “The light! My eyes! Turn off dee lights! I’m not ready to emerge from my beauty sleep yet!”

  17. I’m a sucker for a cackle-o. She looks like a cuter version of the Pahntom of the Opera in her little half-mask.

  18. The “Young Frankenstein” quote was inspired. Well done, NTMTOM!

    That is one tangled up kitty.

  19. Stunbunny says:

    Sorry… SHE hasn’t picked up enough stuff to get to the next stage!

  20. @ Trabb’s boy – didn’t you know kittens are born without bones? They harden up as they get older.

    (OK, I know it isn’t true – but it sure SEEMS that way)

  21. BabyOpossum says:

    Sears popcorn (and bulk candy counter) FTW! In my town, it was situated right next to the appliance dept with the demo Kenmore dishwasher w/the clear glass door…so you could watch the washer do its thing while you gorged on sourballs. Big fun for a kid.

  22. I would have never guessed that beneath this sweet kitten exterior lies a conflicted, insane scientist.

  23. Resriechan says:

    @ NTM:

    (resigned repression sigh)

    Because you’re you, (& Not the Other Mike) I must struggle with myself & admit to the possibility that “Microwave Popcorn” does. not. exist. in. only. one. incarnation.

    I am deeply glad that there exist(ed?) Microwave Popcorn, which was a positive item in your life.

    Thank you for sharing & (sigh) for attempting to pry open my piddy-poo little closed mind.

    That having been said, I will sign off for the moment, of course remaining

    Your Obedient Servant.

  24. Dearest Resriechan,
    AS I am of the same inclanation as you regarding Microwave popcorn I humbly submit to our dear readers that Homemade popcorn is Far Far superior in taste and goodforyouness which is due to its lack of chemical containation.

  25. I wanna kiss that dark heel.

  26. Resriechan says:

    @ KittyAd

    (PHEW !! NOW I can release the breath that I was holding in, while I composed my very carefully worded — and sincere– allowances disclaimer to NTM.
    THANKS for the emotional support on that !!)

  27. I shall take each toe bean, one by one, and pop it into my mouth. I shall chew slowly and deliberately so as to enjoy their delicate pink flavor. And then I shall be happy.

  28. Now after reading the comments, I want to take home that kitty AND popcorn!

  29. victoreia says:

    Not only are kittehs naturally boneless, they have the astonishing ability to double their weight at will.*

    *Usually right after you’ve gotten comfortably curled up in your chair with your book and kitteh, and just before you realize you suddenly need to visit the facilities…..

  30. I wholly concur with Resriechan and KittyAdventures re the superiority of homemade popcorn over the microwave crap. Some popcorn popped in in oil in a pot on the stove and a can of Tab cola. Yeah, that’s my idea of heaven.

  31. Strawberry toebeans!!!!!
    My kitty only has chocolate ones. :-( But they are just as nomulicious.

  32. Hot air-popped popcorn, fresh made, please. The smell of the oil lingers, and outweighs the nummy popcorn aroma.

    In other news…. KITTEH! I just want to pick her up and roll her gently from hand to hand until she unfurls….

  33. Sprock: I thought I was the only TaB drinker left! It’s still my favorite soft drink, and I always stock up when it’s on sale. My ideal meal is Ruffles potato chips, Lipton Onion Dip, and an ice-cold TaB. Something about the saltiness and the saccharin aftertaste really does it for me.

  34. @Shari – And I thought I was the only lover of the saccharine and cyclamates (sp?) in Tab! Clearly, there must be more of us, since my local grocery store continues to sell the stuff.

  35. the kitty’s in someone’s crotch in the first three shots.

  36. GreyandWhite Kitten says:

    She would be great at twister! I think she’s so adorble. I guess she saw that people think it’s cute when an animal puts their paw over their face and decided to go the extra mile. haha. ^___^ Silly little baby.

  37. Ohmigosh….homemade popcorn in oil *drroool*. Yes. That is considerably better than stuff that expands in the microwave. I’m with you all on that.
    But, I must add…. Cheese popcorn = Teh bomb.
    Last… I don’t think I’ve ever had a TaB. Is that an ‘only-USA’ thing? Must be.

  38. Resriechan says:

    @ kittykye: TAB ….memories/ me dad who passed in about 2000
    RIP (Dad, not TAB)

  39. Aw, I’s sorry Resriechan :(

  40. Courtney S. says:

    1. TaB cola is made of awesome.
    2. I, too, put sesame seeds in my tax returns, although I doubt the Pope cares.
    3. I’m surprised Senorita Kitteh did not dream of mohair suits.

  41. I vote that at the CO convention we have an TaB reception (kinda like a champagne reception, but a whole lot saccharinier)

  42. Kittykye: TaB is one of the original diet sodas from the 60’s. People either love it or hate it, because it does have an aftertaste thanks to the saccharin. If you get your hands on one, make sure it’s ice-cold. The first hit tastes like Coca-Cola, I swear. Afterwards? Not so much, but still good.

    Sprock: When Coke briefly stopped making TaB in the late 80’s, my local grocery store had a great sale just to get rid of it. I loaded a cart with 14 of the 24-can cases. Can you image all those bright pink boxes in direct sunlight?! When I left the store, a lady saw my cart and said, “Oh, so YOU’RE the one. I always wondered why they stocked that stuff here!”

    Yes, we TaB drinkers are a rare and hardy breed.

  43. Whenever peeps look at me quizzically when I’m drawing on the bright pink can of TaB, I just tell them that I stockpiled a bunch in the ’70s and have it all stored in my cellar.

  44. Anyone else think that little kitty looks like the Phantom of the Opera? (If the Phantom had been a wittle kitteh.)

  45. skippymom says:

    My grandmother, lord rest her soul, used to drink Diet Black Cherry Tab mixed with Southern Comfort. Now THAT was disgusting.

  46. Queen of Dork says:

    Kitteh looks as though she still feels to be “in the womb.” As for popcorn, stove-top popped in oil is yum. And although this sounds strange (and probably is) it is TOTALLY DELEESHUS with salt, a little sugar and LOTS of Brewer’s yeast. (yummmmmmmmmm).

  47. Mmm popcorn. I have been using the exact same hot air popper for 25 years. Long ago they actually made things to be permanent. I ate popcorn from that machine when E.T. was new and it’s still rocking along and has never popped a bad kernel. No chemical crap, no lengthy energy consuming industrial packaging process, and no running a 1500 watt microwave oven for minutes on end. I think it takes roughly three minutes longer to use the hot air popper, and it does it all with a simple heating element and fan. Why aren’t they back in style? PS I’m not a fossil, I was a small girl when my family got my popper. :)

  48. Must rub soft kitten toes with my nose!

  49. Anyone remember Jiffy Pop??? The convenient way to pop – before microwaves…..
    Myself, I prefer the old fashioned way, popped in a pan in oil, with melted butter & salt. Of course, that could be because I don’t have a microwave!

    I am wondering, how does little kitten know about tricyles, Elvis, tax returns, and so on? Perhaps she is tapping into the collective unconscious? Or is that subconsious?

  50. Cats have the best sleeping positions! No one naps like a kitty! :)

  51. Method actor. One Academy Award, coming up.

  52. Adorable!!! Love the “I’m all feet” action!

  53. Took me a minute to realize that was someone’s lap kitteh was sitting in… but then her bolt-upright pose is in the bed! Too cute.

  54. popcorn: My “microwave popcorn” IS homemade popcorn. I just pop regular kernels in a container in the microwave, then melt the butter in the microwave and drizzle over the top. Yummy! Of course, I do have an electric popper if I want to do popcorn in oil instead of in the microwave, but I seldom use it.

    TAB: I don’t ever remember drinking that stuff and probably wouldn’t now because I wouldn’t like the aftertaste. However, I still have an old TAB bottle with a sprinkler insert in it. My mom used this when she ironed her clothes, long before steam irons were mainstream!

    Kitteh! I love the boneless kitteh and all the adorable positions she gets into. Would love to scoop her up and snuggle her myself!

  55. Dorkspawn says:

    I remember that baby! She wound up with a weird name though.

  56. This looks like some crazy game of cat bowling.

  57. I believe there’s an opening for this little kitty in Cirque De Soleil !

  58. Makes me think of The Theory of Cat Gravity:

    http://www.robinwood.com/Catalog/Books/BookPages/CGBBook.html

  59. AWW :twisted: I would SNORGLE that little kitty :twisted: then I would ask kitty if she would like to chomp on popcorn with me :twisted: Together, we would watch a nice movie on DVD while munching on bowls of popcorn :twisted:

  60. DaytimeDeb says:

    @Zanna: We had a hot-air popper too, but ours must’ve been a lemon, because it died an early death. We went back to the pot and oil method. In fact, it took me a LOT of willpower to sell “THE popcorn pot” at my parent’s estate sale. I have my own “THE pot,” and I couldn’t justify being sentimental over a 30-year old pot when there was plenty of other stuff to be sentimenal about. But it still tugs at me, just a little bit, 5 years later.

    @Belphebe: I agree, you can just stick it in the microwave in a bag, but a touch of oil in “THE pot” is still best way. I had a friend who bought an electric oil popper, and that is the thing that left the house reeking of oil afterwards (referencing Wend’s comment). When done with a pot, and just a smidge of oil, there is no unpleasant oil after-smell.

    The aftersmell of microwave popcorn is the devil, and truly h-e-double hockey sticks when burnt.

    And finally, What is the deal with sesame seeds and tax returns? I usually get the references but I am sadly lacking here. Can someone enlighten me?

  61. DaytimeDeb says:

    Oh, and NTMTOM, Candy at Sears! The one place we could find honeycomb. Oh, and non-pariels! I haven’t seen that around lately. Of course I don’t go into many candy stores. OK., See’s, but they don’t sell honeycomb.

    Here’s another oldie reference: Before Macy’s developed “the cellar,” the Macy’s near us (in Santa Clara, CA) had a basement and I swear they sold parakeets and perhaps some other small animals. Was I smoking something funny back when I was 6?

  62. Resriechan says:

    @ Daytime Deb: I also am a profound addict of nonpareils. For awhile I had to wait until my few/ far-between indulgences movies @ theater events.. however fortunately here in Fla. Walgreens & Winn-Dixie both now “feed my need” on those. Don’t know, whether you have those stores where you are, but if so, give ‘em a try :)

  63. DaytimeDeb says:

    We have Walgreens, and I remember seeing them at Long’s (local pharmacy chain). Long’s just switched over to CVS so I don’t know if I’ll see the nonpareils there again. Still can’t find the honeycomb. We used to have a McFarlane’s candy shop, but it’s gone.

    So funny, I don’t even like either that much, but every now and then I have a need to taste them. All this walking down memory lane is starting to wake that beast. I had better find some honeycomb, stat!

  64. Kitty has a half black face, caused by the intense light from the mothership, that was going to take her away.
    The last time I had popcorn was in 1975, when I was treking in Nepal. It was cooked by the Mother of a boy who befriended us, she cooked it in a brass pot on a Buffalo dung fire.

  65. Resriechan says:

    @ HonGlad:

    whaaaaa???? are you kidding? a) you WERE actually trekking in Nepal and
    b) while in NEPAL, you had popcorn? Those sound too much like a Twilight Zone episode in combination, to be real …….. but then, you’re deep enough, that maybe you have trekked in Nepal?

    Do Tell. PLEASE do tell.

  66. Love the bi-colored ears!

  67. Resriechan – I kid you not. I followed the hippy trail to Khatmandu going through countries, that it would not be a good idea to travel through at the moment Lebanon Iran Afghanistan.
    We got our visas at the Nepalese embassy in Delhi, then our trekking passes in Kathmandu, signed by the cheif Anchaldish (I have just spent about half an hour trying to find out what Anchaldish means. I tried Google, Wikipedia and Ultralingua, and only found an article about a political prisoner, in the Nepalese Times). Anyhoo, we had a very simple map and set out from Pokhara, we were befriended by a young boy who said he would guide us and guide us he did, to his home where we slept on the floor. I think the pop corn
    was for breakfast Cooked by his Mum. The smart kid had earned his family some
    Nepalese Rupees and it was a good experience for us.

  68. Kitties don’t have bones…uh…hell-o-o-o-o…their spines are made of rubberbands! :)

  69. My fiance’ lived in Nepal for about 5 years when he was young. His parents were missionaries. (They even went to “jungle camp”!) Oh…the stories he tells.

    Kitty – cute as she can be! Love them all twisted up…just as I love it when they lay with their bellies splayed!

  70. Dear Peeps – Does anyone have a reliable recipe/methodology for making popcorn balls? I need it for a concert reception in November. Thanks very much.
    Katrina Peep

    Beautiful kitteh, I wish I could bend like that!

  71. @honglad – Sounds like you met a real life ShortRound. Congrats on that!

    Awwww! Squishee kittee!

  72. I used to soak potato chips in my Pepsi when I was a kid. You remove the chips and enjoy their limp sogitude and you’re left with salty cola. Yumskies!!!

  73. snorglepup says:

    I kinda like burnt popcorn. Nuke it till the smoke alarm goes off.
    Enjoy with toebeans and Chableen.

  74. I can hardly believe I am first…but…
    Teeny Twisted Tucked ‘Tocks!

  75. Rachael – When I was a child I would only eat my Cornflakes soggy. I would push them down under the milk and wait for them to go soft. I haven’t eaten Cornklakes since, lord knows when, despite adverts claiming we have nostalgia for childhood cereals. I’m a Museli man, although I am sure there’s probably a book called Real Men Don’t Eat Museli. There was certainly one called Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche. :0}

  76. Queen of Dork says:

    Hon Glad: You have trekked in the Himalayas??!!! Woooaahhh. Wow! That is EXTREMELY cool!! Did you meet any climbers? Ed Viesters? Wow! Holy freaking crap!

  77. Resriechan says:

    (Morning, QofD :) )

    @ HonGlad: (the ONLY possible response, here):

    “Like, wow, man, that’s like, TO-tally cozmik !!!!”

  78. Whoops I’ve just noticed I’ve typed Cornklakes, which of course don’t exist, I meant Cornflakes!

  79. Resriechan says:

    (ps: while I, myself, “ain’t never climbed no STANKIN’ mountains, one of me brudders took his BA degree in the Blue Ridge/ Va Tech @ Blacksburg and I believe that either 3 or all 4 of my siblings DID climb Mt. Fuji when we were in Japan. I was only a little sproutlet at the time. Also somewhat relevant a la Hippie things: when we were in Japan, Bruce, brother who ended up attending Va Tech; went all by himself — age perhaps 13 — on the Japanese Bullet trains from Yokosuka into Tokyo — drum roll here, plz– to a concert by Peter Paul & Mary. That woulda been in ought 69 or so).

    Peace out.

  80. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan: Wow! Mt. Fuji. One of the seven summits I think?! Maybe not. I know Kilamanjaro is one them. (excuse my butchering of the name of the mountain on Africa).

    *I rode the bullet train too, when I was on tour with Dance Theatre of Harlem*

    Hon Glad: Cornklakes are a cereal from the lake region of Cornk.

  81. Q of D – No I didn’t meet any climbers, infact before I arrived in Kathmandu I imagined Everest would be looming in the background, whereas it’s miles away, we did another trek to see Everest but it was just part of the chain of the Himalayas in the distance.

    Resriechan – I did get a bit far out on Ganja, not being a smoker I hadn’t learnt how to take the smoke into my lungs, when I did acheive it it was like wow man and a whole bunch of Marijuana cost the equivalent of three pence.

  82. Queen of Dork says:

    Hon Glad: Yeah, Everest is very far away from Kathmandu. But, wow, would I ever LOVE to someday trek to base camp there. I just must in my life see a mountain that soars to the heights at which planes fly! Right?!!

  83. Q od D – I had forgotten about the lake region of Cornk. It is ruled over by the evil despot the Crank of Cornk.

  84. Resriechan says:

    QoD:
    re; bullet train & DTH: Wow, groovy!!! My mother has had a lifelong wish re ballet. I was actually named for Leslie Caron (Amer. in Paris, 1962) tho’ I DIN’T inherit many of Ms. Caron’s graces………

    re. mountains= Kilimanjaro (methinks)
    re: Corn”k”lakes: LOL

    When you can get your computer so organized, send me an update, @ my C/wire, re. Tara, k? : )

  85. Resriechan says:

    @ HonGlad: would it
    “entirely annihilate” (I rather enjoyed that juxtaposition of syllables, there :) )

    any remaining of my Hippie Cred., if I admit here that I’ve never even held marij.? Would it help any, if I mentioned that at least 3 of my siblings are/ have been known users? Or is the whole thing just hopeless?
    :)

  86. Queen of Dork says:

    Hon Glad: I’ve battled that Crank of Cornk many times. He’s an a-hole. I have to go sharpen my sword to have another go at that bastard.

    Resriechan: What can I say? You are booootifulll!! But ballet is brutal. BRUTAL I tell you.

  87. Resriechan says:

    @ Qof D:
    *blushing*
    “Aw, shucks, ma’am! Thankye ver’ kindly !” :)

  88. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan: :)

  89. Resriechan says:

    @ QoD:

    If you can get into your regular email/ send me @ Clearwire, my inbox is online/ open. Hope that you & Tara got plenty of rest & I’m hoping for your update on that ! However I wanna do our non-animal/cute talking there …so as not to gum up the comment streams here, for folks & the Cute. ‘k? :)

  90. Resriechan says:

    *echo*
    *puzzled*
    Hello out there? Hon Glad? Where did you go?

    Q of D: did I say something unkind? I’m watching my c/wire for your note. or is something else keeping you occupied? Sorry if I misstepped?

  91. Resriechan – Sorry I am a two fingered typist who has to look at the keyboard, not noticing mistakes that are appearing on screen.
    Anyhoo your Hippie cred is OK with me. I was a weekend Hippie, I don’t think my office would have accepted too over the top dress, even though it was an Advertising agency.
    I would look at Hippies bare feet walking on the streets of London and think “Ew, what about the dogs muck”

  92. Resriechan says:

    @ HonGlad: (phew– both of ya simultaneously disapp. for awhile & while QoD & I confirmed *Both* of our mutual emails last night/ got msgs from me to her & vv)….
    so far this morning, she hasn’t sent anything there. Her daughter has been very miserable w/ a facial/ skin icky thing for a couple of days; so more than likely the coincidence was that her daughter woke right at the same time when you were AWOL ….Anyhow, I’m still very deeply impressed w/ your wanderings.. I think possibly that were I to land near Nepal & the D. Lama, I might not bother comin’ back Stateside (but then, perhaps they don’ want no STANKIN’ ‘mericuns there, messin’ up their karma & they’d kick me out…)

    Thanks for lettin’ me know that “I wasn’t quite dead, yet”!!!!
    Peace.

  93. that first pic looks like TWO kittehs!

  94. Resriechan – I read QoD as QED, quad erat demonstrandum.
    I have always fancied going to Ladakh, where they have resisted a lot of Western practices.

  95. Cool story Hon Glad!

    What the ? Is this kitty doingk? Wrestling alligators in her sleep?

  96. You know, I bet you could make popcorn balls by just mixing popped corn with something sticky and shaping them into balls. Probably be a sticky mess but maybe you could use a couple of table spoons or something like that. Honey or caramel would be good, but I bet you could also use marshmallow just like making rice krispie treats.

  97. PS cos I ain’t got nuttin bettah to do right now, I was cruising around on epicurious.com and they have a bunch of recipes you can do to make treats with popcorn, such as “caramel corn clusters” mmm! all you really need is butter, sugar, karo syrup, and a candy thermometer.

  98. They look like yoga poses

  99. I always thought that kitteys were made out of noodles and pudding on the inside. Thats how they twist into such crazy shapes.

  100. They’re so cute when they’re young aren’t they?

  101. Queen of Dork says:

    Hon Glad and Resriechan: I luv you both. I just have been busy not feeling well. Hoh Glad: I’m getting ready to get some Chinese “take away” as you refer to it across the pond. :)

  102. Queen of Dork says:

    Ooooh! sorry. I meant Hon, not Hoh. Sooooo did not mean to call you a ho Hon.

  103. Queen of Dork says:

    Resrie: Luv you as usual. Please forgive me. Not feeling great.

  104. Resriechan says:

    @ QoD: MWAH !! (smooches & such) nightienightie……tie tie zzzzzzgwan……tuh……bayud..zzzzzzzzznz.klkdj;falsdkfjas;kdfh

  105. People, people, FOCUS! Never mind about popcorn, Sears and the Dalai Lama – what I want to know is, what is NTMTOM doing in MY subconscious, reading MY nightmares?!?

  106. What a cutie!!!!

  107. Resriechan says:

    @ Katrina: did you ever get your recipe/ Popcorn _____ (not gonna start a whole “genitalia”/ cooking thread, here)?

    Did you see Paunchie’s notes #97 & 98 ?

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,967 other followers