Hi, I’m the New Monster Under Your Bed

Yes, moved in last Thursday. Still living out of the boxes; ach, such a mess, don’t get me started. Anyhoo, just wanted to pop up and say hello, and I promise to start terrorizing you as soon as possible, but we’re so busy right now what with the change-of-address cards and getting our youngest into kindergarten.


“Chloe” looks like an extra from “Monsters, Inc.,” Danielle.



  1. googlie eyes says:

    Awesome! Awesome awesome awesome. I want a monster!!

  2. Under-the-bed monsters were definitely scarier than that when I was a kid. Unless this kind specializes in death by giggling.

  3. googlie eyes says:

    P.S. Do you know Mike Wazowski?

    [MIKE ‘AZOWSKI!!! — Not That Boo The Other Boo]

  4. googlie eyes says:

    Camille, at the end of the movie, they did start generating power by making kids laugh. Maybe NTMTOM didn’t get the memo.

  5. We scare, because we care! 🙂

  6. Love the houseslippers!

  7. skippymom says:

    Please, please tell me the dog stepped into the slippers herself, as compared to having them put on her by a human!

    [Actually the problem with poor obsessive Chloe is that she keeps putting slippers onto her humans’ feet, regardless of what they might already be wearing… socks, flipflops, hip waders, contractor’s stilts, U-boats… doesn’t matter. – Ed.]

  8. Cambridge_Rat_Mom says:

    Looks like she’s got cotton candy on her feet!

  9. OMG my husband has the same slippers except in black, the cats were scared of them at first and would attack his feet whenever he put them on, but now they take turns sleeping on them when he’s sitting at the computer.

  10. Wait a minute, isn’t this the ex-wife of the pitty in sunglasses?

  11. I like the way Chloe coordinated her slippers with her collar. Nice attention to detail!

  12. skippymom says:

    Of course it is, Theresa! No wonder little Mooch is, er, a wee bit confused.

  13. LovesDogs says:

    She’s no monster — she’s a pretty pittie girlie-girl.

  14. This is hilarious.

  15. …cheeseburgers, cinderblocks, electric boots, mohair suits, henna tattoos, Charleston Chews…

  16. If one MUST have an under-bed monster, this is definitely the one to have.

  17. googlie eyes says:

    I’m confused as to how a monster making Whoopi (oops, it slipped 🙂 ) with a very metro pittie produces a chihuahua. Am I the only one?

    [Definitely. – Ed.]

  18. Resriechan says:

    ….hey Theo; I’ve noticed that *on frequent occasions* your listings of items of clothing seem to include “electric boots & mohair suits”. Ever sent that phrase to Sir Elton John? Maybe he could use it, in a song…..???

  19. Beauty_Without_Cruelty says:

    OMG, ok, first of all i want a monster like that….second, i would be vewy scawed if that monster jumped up to me with those huuuuge pink paws…..

    EHN….not really. I want that monster! STAT!

  20. Agreed on the matching the color to the slippers. She’s obviously not bothered by those big things on her feet. Every watch a cat with those sacks on their feet?

  21. …F-M pumps, sump pumps, sod clumps, streamlined toe clips, plaster casts, golf spikes, Old Spice, stuffed turkeys…

  22. 260Oakley says:

    ‘Tis a Pittie she’s a Monster

  23. Resriechan says:

    ????waving frantically~~~~~~
    Theo???? am i invisible, or banned, or something?

  24. Jess&Friends says:

    I wonder if their youngest goes to a *Monster* kindergarten.
    Or is that racist?

  25. Sorry, can’t talk, doing the mash…

    [the MONSTER mash – Boris]

  26. Pantufa! Schuen. Socken.

  27. …PuddingkWürferSchnorgelKanonen

  28. turkey bologna, post it notes, torn off pages of the CO Calendar, McDonalds Monopoly game pieces, wire hangers, NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!

  29. Resriechan says:

    “Ya ni panimanyu.” “Ich versetehe nicht.” “Je ne comprends pas.”

  30. Theo, I prefer this one!

    Fun Fact: Joy Division was based on one of the Nazi’s euphemistic bureaucratic organizations. When the lead singer killed himself and they started New Order. that was also a Nazi term. Bauhaus is a major art school and movement based in Berlin. I keep getting 80s goth tracks stuck in my head in German History 😛

  31. Travel phrasebooks… Amazon shipping boxes… meatloaf pans… gopher holes…

  32. Ich kann alles verstehen!

    (I should so be reading about Stalinism right now 😛 Stupid edumacations)

  33. penny loafers… Peter Murphy… pasta strainers…

  34. punkinberry says:

    Camelbak water bottles… brocade handbags… Easter bonnets… flower vases…

  35. Dr. Scholls, Doctor Who, Doctor Doctor, Witch Doctor Who’s on First?, Snips n Snails but NO puppeh dog tails,

  36. shower shoes…aluminum foil…plaid ties…

  37. punkinberry says:

    wizards’ hats… mailboxes… golf umbrellas… fishbowls…

  38. Hi-Tecs… Heelys… Hurleys… Harleys… Havaharts…

  39. Mary Janes…. marmie whiskers…mortadella

  40. tied plaids

  41. Resriechan says:

    @ R. Moore:

    Dann warum ist es, das Deutsche mur schwieriger als franzosisch zu erlernen ist?

    (I hope I *almost* got enough outta my longterm memory, that at least this sample is nearly comprehensible)

  42. punkinberry says:

    Easter bonnets… Easter Island… peeps!

  43. peeping tom cats

  44. Just what kind of a Monster is this puppy? Judging by the comments, she seems to be attacking people’s brains. She must be a zombie!

    A cute zombie with fluffy pink feet, but still a zombie.

  45. Doc Martens and pennyloafers

  46. Oh! Unadulterated cuteness! This is perfect!

  47. Roller skates… inline skates… rocket skates with racing stripes, a la Adam and Jamie…

  48. Canned hams

  49. …Adam & Jamie, Adam & Eve, Adam’s apple, Apple computers, Dell, Chippendale, Chips, Poker chips, Paper clips, Paper hats…

  50. @Googlie eyes, Moochie is adopted, which only makes it all more tragic. 😥

  51. metsakins says:

    Clogs and leiderhosen

    empty dog food cans

  52. @Theo:

  53. …Canned hams, Canned yams, Canned yaks, Pressed slacks, Jumping jacks…

  54. mashed potatoes, milkbones, malt-o-meal, mocassins

  55. @Brinann: PRESSED DUCK!

  56. metsakins says:

    Hey b4 you put that halavah on his feetz, let me have some!

  57. Thanks, Theresa!

    …Pressed luck, Aflac…

  58. i wanna a bed monster but i cant have one cause there is no space for it lol

  59. bookmonstercats says:

    There there, Theo (and others, you know who you are) *makes soothing noises and pats Teho on the head*.

    Thank you, btw for the Monster Mash vid. It’s one of my i-pod guilty secret songs, along with “Convoy”, Meri Wilson’s “Telephone Man”, “Goodness Gracious Me” by Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren and “Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah”.

    Oh dear.

  60. Mary (the first). says:

    I don’t know what the h*ck you people are talking about, but I love the loungewear on the doglet. LOVE eet.

  61. Press Your Luck! Whammy! salami, bumper stickers, snickers, checkers, jacks, snacks, snack trays, please place your trays and seats in their upright positions.

  62. Resriechan says:

    OKAY — There’s this runnin’ joke that a friend (Peter) & I have, about a pair of wooden-soled clogs that I wore for many many years …whenever he annoys me or vice-versa, we threaten to mail each other one of those brown wooden clogs to *WHAM* each other with, in the mail.

    I’m about to call a WOODEN CLOG INTERVENTION on this whole stream/ consciousness mayhem !!!!!!!!

  63. AuntieMame says:

    Gorgonzola? Parmesan? Mozzarella? Pippo Crème? Danish Fynbo? Czechoslovakian Sheep’s Milk Cheese? Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

  64. metsakins says:

    corning ware dishes and good luck wishes

  65. “Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?”

    Wholly Carp, I don’t even know how to follow that one! 😆

  66. Brown paper packages tied up with strings…

  67. metsakins says:

    @Resriechan – but what about the leiderhosen?

  68. Resriechan says:

    @ Auntie Mame: PLEASE don’t forget Havarti. It’s pheNOMenal with CheezIts & extra dark chocolate bars. practically or**smic.

  69. Metaskins, I think “Leiderhosen” means something like “sad pants.” :mrgreen:


  71. metsakins says:

    I believe the correct way to follow that one is…

    Do you in fact have any cheese in this shop at all?

  72. Resriechan says:

    @ Metsakins:

    ” well,” (feeling like an exposed politician) “while I DO admit to having perpetrated German carelessly & perhaps incorrectly”, I believe that it *MIGHT* have been someone else, who brought leiderhosen into the party today.

    I am, however, fairly certain…… that I recall a certain fellow, known in these here parts as Theo….as having claimed wearing leiderhosen in an oil portrait, done in the 1700s, which image was posted on a comments stream in CO, sometime in the recent several weeks …….
    AlLEGedly (voice as in SNL “Allegedly” character….)

    Please let me know, if I can help in any other manner. Thank you.


    Your Humble Servant

  73. Resriechan says:

    (oops,; I hadn’t gone back up to see that it wuz YOU who brought up the lederhosen. However…)

    The allegations unto his Theoness remain in place. Perhaps we should mail the lederhosen, TO Theo !!!! That seems appropriate, under the circumstances.

  74. …and even sometimes SHOES.


  75. P.S. – you don’t wanna see me in lederhosen. THEO SMASH

  76. BeckyMonster says:

    Leiderhosen means Leather Pants

    LOVE all things wacky and German
    Veiner schnitzel, Yager schnitzel, Yagermeister, Yager Bombs, Bombastic Barbarians, Barbers, Bark…

  77. If we were talking about Meg instead of Teho, would they be LEADERhosen?

  78. AuntieMame says:

    @metsakins: No, sir, not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.

    Re: lederhosen – “During our discussion, you did tell me that my costume would give me the proper air of authority. Well, I’m getting a lot of air but very little authority.”

  79. @R.Moore — Bela Lugosi’s still dead 😉

  80. Resriechan says:

    @ brinann: Affirmative.

    My personal pair of favorite clothing items from the stream/consciousness above: #’s 35 & 39

    NOW ….back to the original question I presented to Theo, all the way back up at # 18 above.

    [It wasn’t me, it was Bernie. – Ed.]

  81. @Beckymonster, sorry, no. *Leider* means sorry or sad. It’s “Lederhosen” that means “leather pants.”

  82. PIBBLE!!

  83. …pibble, tribble, trouble, bubble…

  84. AuntieMame says:

    Eye of newt, toe of frog…

  85. BeckyMonster says:

    I knew that taking French in high school was not going to prepare me…

  86. googlie eyes says:

    Es tut mir leiderhosen. 🙂

  87. skippymom says:

    A couple of years ago, there was a Chinese artist in the news wearing a meat suit. Anybody remember seeing this? Larderhosen!!

  88. [facepaw]

  89. skippymom says:

    (I would have made a link to a picture of it, were my skills up to the task.)

  90. Bubble… bath… Weeeeenston…. kitty…. Legolas (my cat)… Lord of the Rings…. ringdings… oh, cake!… Marie Antionette…. Kirsten Dunst…. Orlando Bloom… Lord of the Rings… repeats… reruns… Ghost Hunters…

  91. I have a pair of gargoyle slippers. They even have little wings on them. My cats are completely terrified of them.

  92. My “Mafia Wars” screen name on Facebook is “Duchess von Lederhosen.” I can’t explain how I came up with that. It was a stream-of-consciousness thing.

  93. skippymom says:

    Noelegy, please tell where one may purchase gargoyle slippers? I want to terrify my cats too!

  94. Resriechan says:

    @ Theo: (phew) glad to know that I haven’t ceased to exist to the Mgmt.

    Had to check yer link, to ascertain that you indeed meant Mr. B. TAUPIN, as opposed to the other Bernie currently “in the news” (Madoff) …. 😉

    Hope you’ve rested sufficiently from the vocabulary-induced, hysteria of earlier !!!

  95. skippymom says:

    And Theresa, “Liederhosen” is singing pants, right?

  96. googlie eyes says:

    More like song pants, Skippymom. 🙂

  97. Resriechan says:

    @ skippymom: I cannot locate a webpage which shows a pic of your mentioned Chinese meat artist (comment #90 above), however I did locate a reference to the artist’s name & some reference to figuring out approximately when it happened:

    Quoting someone named Heide Hatry, (English language art review webpage)dated June 2008:

    “we counterpoint [an art exhibit item] with video documentation of the great contemporary Chinese artist Zhang Huan’s stroll through New York in a suit made of meat”

  98. skippymom says:

    Resriechen, I found several pictures of it just by typing “meat suit” into Google.

  99. Resriechen, Deustch ist immer besser!

    And way easier for me to learn at least. I think my training in english grammar (more like a crash course, really :P) helped in that respect. I have… issues with French. Plus studying fascism is easier when you know German rather than French (kind of wishing I hadn’t rejected my high school Spanish now, though!).

  100. Queen of Dork says:

    Love the whole footwear, lederhosen fit that happened here today! Very strange and wunderbar! (Hope I spelled that in correct German)

  101. Resriechan says:

    @ R Moore: OMG: you must be my mirror opposite !!!! I found French to almost land fully blossomed into my brain; I pretty much didn’t have to study any of the rules more than one quick browse & after one early semester of C’s & even a D or two ….it was pretty nearly straight A’s from then on: high school, & all the way through an undergraduate degree IN French. Whereas I struggled & didn’t enjoy the struggles, in the German minor. Now Fascism and German; THAT, I get !!!!

    I have one primary exhibit on my theory, that French rules the Universe (at least, MY Universe, anyhow). What do French lovers say? “Je t’aime.” Smooth & sensual. What do German lovers say? “Ich liebe dicccchhhh.” Now, I ask you. When you kneel down, propose marriage to your significant other & offer him/ her a wedding ring, is “Iccchh liebe diccchhh” the sound you want to hear?????

    I’d love to tell you a brief story of the horrors of having taking a literature course about Existentialist Literature, very early in my French classes, but maybe I should offer you an email address instead if you care to chat about non-Cuteness anytime. I’d enjoy it !! resriechan [at] yahoo [dot] com
    No pressure; if you don’t care to do so fine & peace to everyone.

  102. Skippymom, my ex-husband got me mine from this company, several years ago:


    I haven’t taken a look yet to see if they’re still sold there.

  103. what is going on with this thread?!?!?

    [Quick, look at your feet. NO WAIT!! Don’t let them see you looking! 😯 – Ed.]

  104. I wish I had that monster under my bed, he’d be more scared of me snorgling him to death !

  105. Has this thread jumped the shark or are several of us off our meds?

    [What do you mean, “or”? – Ed.]

  106. wow, it’s annoying when I get to the party late – but I don’t even understand this one!

    Jumped the shark? I think it jumped the rails.

  107. DaytimeDeb says:

    Cool retro blonde furniture.
    Ray, if you get to a party late, I always get another one going.

  108. Queen of Dork says:

    Actually, the thread makes perfect sense if you go back and read about the footwear thing. It’s a bit weird but makes sense. Of course, Theo started it.

  109. Resriechan says:

    @ Q of D: oh no, you got’em goin’ …. sayin’ “Theo started it” !!!

    Gratuitous Monty Python closing line: “Run away, run away !!” 🙂

  110. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan: Weelllll?! He did! 🙂

    (and it’s funny) (Hiding under the bed now)

  111. Queen of Dork says:

    Oops. I forgot there’s a pink slipper wearing monster under there.

  112. Resriechan says:

    (Just offer him– the slipper-wearing monster– some Kibbles n Bits!!)

    Or offer them to Theo. Ya never know, do ya???

  113. Resriechan says:

    Now, about that shark. Is THAT under the bed, too?

  114. Queen of Dork says:

    Okay. I’ll offer them to slipper wearing monster AND Theo. But I’ll put out a dish of guacamole for Theo’s.

  115. Resriechan says:

    Sounds like a VERY WISE course of action. Multi-Objectives & such. My, you ought to be Secretary of State !!!!

  116. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan: he-he!

  117. Resriechan says:

    @ Qof D: okay, two more Burningly Important Items To Be Addressed & then I’m prolly gonna go hide, under MY bed too for the night (hope there aren’t any doggy-monsters THERE??) …

    1) Did you already find/ watch the Princess/ Sheba kitten (I’m sure that isn’t the actual title; it’s at the top of the letterhead presently) video & read all the comments under there already? She’s aDORable; both, just as a ridiculously cute kitten & also the alleged dancing …then the comments are great.

    2) Just realized the BEST song to accompany this doggymonster post:
    I actually happen to be listenin’ to Fats Waller.
    Song Title ? “Your Feet’s Too Big”.
    PheNOMenally funny & also sweet catchy tune ….

  118. Resreichen, I think it’s all in the accent. French sounds slurred to me, and it bothers me that you don’t pronounce half the letters in some words 😛 I flatter myself to think that when I say “ich liebe dich” that it doesn’t sound harsh at all. It’s a very breathy sort of statement, which, I think, is suited to it’s meaning. Admittedly, the Berliners pronounce the CH with a harder K sound, so it would come off a bit differently, but the more standard pronunciation of the CH (or the alternate even softer pronunciation, sounding like SH in English) is much easier to sound sweet and romantic.

    I will say, though, that I always laugh at German songs with background vocals, because the regional variations on pronunciation often make the refrain sound totally different when backup vocals sing it!

  119. Also, there is a long and illustrious tradition for such forums of conversation to go rapidly and wildly off-topic 😛 (You should check out the Cute Talk form linked on the left. Usually we end up talking about soup at some point in all threads. I think the pets forum had an extended discussion on electronics recently.)

  120. @SkippyMom, Yes. I think that’s a German name for a Japanese invention. :mrgreen:

  121. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan: Yep. I watched the dancing babeh kitteh and she’s a star! A movie star! Also, the song does fit. I’m going to go hide under my bed, too. I believe it’s safe under there because Pink Great-Big-Very-Oversized- Slipper Monster has gone outside to chase cats. (Mine prolly included).

  122. Resriechan says:

    @ R. Moore: Well, ONE thing’s for SURE !!! YOUR German (knowledge AND pronunciation) are obvy light-years better than mine ever hoped to be !!!

    Humble bow in your direction !!!! I’ll take a minnit to see the CuteTalk thinggie; never have browsed that previously ….. Peace!

  123. Queen of Dork says:

    I tried that CuteTalk thinggie and it didn’t work. Don’t know what my mistake was but it just got things stuck and was then this permanent thing at the bottom of my computer for days and days. However, I’ll give it another go now.

  124. @Queen of D, hmm, that doesn’t sound right. 😦 Our Cute Talk is a forum, bbs type one, not really a chat room, maybe it was the chatroom one you’re thinking of? Or it could have been on one of Informe’s bad server days. But I’ve never had a problem with something remaining behind if I’m not able to get into the forum.

    Should note, to keep out spammers we do have it set that you have to register and have your account activated in order to post on the forum.

  125. Resriechan says:

    wow I gotta ditto Queen of Dork. I just tried to register on it as well…read all the disclaimer/ expl stuff (STILL don’t get the 3-word version of WTF the thing is w/ “bleen”…) went thru a registration sheet, gave my username & email address…it tried to process me then rejected the registration, saying there already was such a username. I know that when I do comments here in the regular comments thing, it also had me give my email address so ya just cant convince me that there’s another human registered as Resriechan in CO, with my same email (which has yet another entirely unrelated “name” as the trunkword)…So I agree with Q of D ; that program isn’t listening to something basic.

    oh well, yet another spot for my inadequacies in computerland not to be convenient.sigh.
    Anyway — R Moore — it surely was a relevant, useful suggestion for you to offer & was glad to give it, the ol’ college try !!!! 🙂

  126. Hai guys, that does sound like a glitch. You guys aren’t rejected, it accepted your registrations. Try logging into the forum and see what happens. If you still can’t get in email me @ metztree [at] hotmail [dot] com and I’ll try resetting your passwords.

  127. Queen of Dork says:

    Hi Metz: I think I just did it. It said I would get an e-mail. I gave my work one because I think that is how I signed up to CO and it didn’t want to accept my personal one. So I’ll see what happens tomorrow I guess. But I’ll still e-mail you with my info.

  128. Informe’s emailing new accounts must be slow tonight so rather than wait for the email confirmation I went in and manually activated your accounts. You guys should be good to go. Like I said though, if you’re still having trubs email me & I’ll see what I can do. 🙂

  129. Queen of Dork says:

    Thanks Metz! I’ll have a go…

  130. Resriechan says:

    Hi Metz! Thanks. I’ll keep this post on my screen but put my ‘puter to drowzy mode for the night & try to log into the CuteTalk forum sometime before lunch tomorrow & either it’ll work or if not, I’ll email you at that time. Is that convenient for you? Sure do appreciate the assistance of anyfolk & appreciate you guys…

  131. Resriechan says:

    SO COOL !!! YEW ROCK !!

  132. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan: Did you get in?! I’m still trying!

  133. Still not working? 😦 Mebbe you might need to close out and clean out the cookies and history and try again? I check my email often through out the day so whenever you try again I shouldn’t be *too* far behind to help.

    Grrr, I hate it when these things don’t work right. I”m glad you guys said someting, I hope that other people haven’t had this trouble and think we’re trying to keep them out. 😦

  134. May I make a comment on the picture. Chloe practices with her cheer leaders pom poms

  135. You know the best part about this thread? Nobody nuffing about pitties being “baby eaters” and all that slanderous untrue junk.

    This brings me much peace =D

    *snuggles adorable smoosh-face pittie princess*

  136. Resriechan says:

    @ Q of D: haven’t tried to get in, yet, I’m going to bed for now but will try on it, when I’m up for the day Wed. G’night all.

  137. googlie eyes says:

    I’m just going to blaspheme for a minute here and say that for some of us, this babyface is cuter than Winston. Feel free to dissent.

  138. doomchild says:

    Googlie eyes, I completely agree with you. But now I gotta go and check if I have a monster-under-the-bed like that. Mabbe I could leave him some kibbles or hotdogs as a welcoming present?

  139. I can hardly wait to go home tonight and check under my bed. Please, oh please, let there be a snorgleable pittie monster in pink fuzzy slippers under there. *fingers crossed*

  140. Cloudchaser Sakonige (sah-koh-nee-gay) says:

    Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red?

    *wonders of anyone ‘ll get the reference*

  141. janet2buns says:

    @cloudchaser “Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair….”
    Yep, my Wikipedia’s working juuuust fine (tee hee)

  142. RoseyPosey, I LOVE Ghost Hunters! I’m addicted to that show!

  143. Resriechan says:

    @ Googlie Eyes: I MUST dissent (but only with the most abject apologies for the indignation). Cuter than the REAL Dubya????? how DARE …

    ok, sorry. but, geez….talk about fightin’ words !!!!!

  144. googlie eyes says:

    Resriechan, I also eat red bell peppers like apples (just crunch into the side; yum!). I have unconventional tastes, and I’m okay with that. I do like Winston :). I just also love this little bullfrog-smile, toddler-face, humongous-footed puppy dog. There’s room for both, I promise.

  145. Resriechan says:

    (phew. okay; I’ve smoothed over me feathers.)

    Really? Raw red peppers? wow. That’s deep. I thought my brother was insane — maybe he is — HE puts salt ONTO his HAM???

  146. googlie eyes says:

    Yikes. That’s a lot of salt. Whew!

  147. Resriechan says:

    yeah. it is. He is still alive tho, surprisingly enuff.

    maybe you & I do have some common ground.
    Yay, Winston !!!! 😉

  148. Juniper Jupiter says:

    Oh, my GAHD!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! XD!!!

    That looks like my nephew’s doaggy Cypher…but her front paws are more dainty, LOL!

    She’s a bit of a runt pitty, too! Love her to pieces if you ever see her! 😀

    (and probably the ONLY pitty I’ll love…there’s just no comparison with her!)

  149. Oh, this looks just like one of my puppies!!! What is she?? Mine is pit/Dalmatian, I *think.* Is yours hopelessly insane and able to jump 8 feet, as well?

  150. Resriechan says:

    Hi R. Harper:

    I just wrote out an answer to a qu. you asked in one of the most recent posted pics….your qu was about changing your screenname; not certain just at this moment which picture …..check out the recent (top) ones for starters; just within this last 10 minutes !!!

  151. sophia L. says:

    its a dog with monster feet how cute