Tonight, Make It a Floofmann’s Night

For the special times—when only the best will do—reach for the hamster trusted by more families than any other: Floofmann’s Canned Ham.

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That’s because Floofmann’s chooses only the freshest, proshest hams, with 30 percent more ‘tocks,* picked at their peak of redonku-liciousness.

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And now, so that you may savor the jaw-dropping cleverness:

amount_per_serving

* Do we even want to know how you got 30% more ‘tocks, Julie and Ron?

Comments

  1. @Julie and Ron: ♥ ♥ ♥ THIS IS AWESOME ♥ ♥ ♥

  2. Mary (the first). says:

    I can tell them how to get a heck of a lot more that 30% more ‘tocks…

  3. Lub.

  4. Mary (the first). says:

    (that = than)

  5. You’re gonna undo all the work you’ve done, pounding that Kashi Go-Lean.

  6. I’d like to give that hammie a lot more than five kisses :)

  7. skippymom says:

    OK, this is weird. I looked at these pictures, pretty thoroughly I thought, and giggled a little. Only when I looked at the pictures a second time did I notice the ham-head sticking out of the top of the can. I SWEAR it wasn’t there a minute ago!

  8. MissKitty says:

    This is officially the bestest thing ever on CO. That is all.

  9. zomg, brilliant! trans chub?? *dies*
    *resurrects, sticks ham in mouf, dies again*

  10. My grocery store doesn’t carry this item. Where can I get some?? I must have!!!

  11. Resriechan says:

    @ Mgmt: can I just pull in the occasional commission on Suggesting Tags, guys/gals?

    –sigh.–

    “Product Cuteness” Tag!!!!!!
    .sigh.

  12. This is the cutest canned good ever. Definitely going on my grocery list.

  13. catloveschanel says:

    I’ll be … rhymes with canned ham

  14. That is JUST what I Needed to break the tedium of reading committee bylaws. So cute.

  15. Brook Vanderford says:

    Just fixed my day. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  16. Juniper Jupiter says:

    Awesome, but methinks somebody was kissing some…’tocks to get on to Cute Overload? :D

    …Not that there’s anything wrong with that… just make sure which cheek it is before you do! :P

  17. That is just BRILLIANT.

    Just one question: Where are the green eggs?

  18. omg, that is just so redonklously cute! how do u make can labels like that??!!! and just 4 the record, i do not wanna know how they got that % either!

  19. You said “chub” again.

  20. omg, that is just so redonklously cute! how do u make can labels like that??!!! and just for the record, i do not wanna know how they got that % either!

  21. Just . . . WOW.

  22. @ skippymom Ditto, the little head was NOT there the first time I looked at the picture. Then I went back and the cheeky little fellow was there! I think he’s playing Peek-a-Boo with our brains.

  23. victoreia says:

    Is there a way to special order this? ‘Cuz I know none of my local grocery stores will carry it…..

  24. OMG that is pure genius! I’ll take five cans please.

  25. Resriechan says:

    @ Ed’s
    (Please read in corny version of Elvis Presley voice):

    “Thankyewverrmuch” !! ;)

  26. I’m taking this to my local Safeway and demanding they start stocking Floofmans Canned Ham! How did I ever live without it??!!

  27. Noooooo!….. this will give people ideas about putting hamsters in cans and then eating them!!!!
    JUST KIDDING. Couldn’t help myself.

    So clever. The lengths some people go to to get on CO. Hmmmm, I wonder where I can can find a rabbit-sized can?

  28. Did I just say “can can”?

  29. Why not, Rooanne? The Can-Can CAN!

  30. the bug man says:

    @Rooanne: cue the Offenbach music.

  31. earlybird1 says:

    AHHHAHAHAHA! Just what I needed after the LONGEST Monday ever. My students were a handful today!! Needed some ham! :D

  32. I think maybe I’ll watch Moulin Rouge tonight. Except I don’t have absinthe.

  33. I’m with Mish – trans chub? omg

  34. Bring out the Floofmans and bring out the best! Sing ala Hellmans mayo commercial. This is completely adorable and redonk. And I know a Julie and Ron… will have to check and see if they are the cute culprits. :)

  35. I wonder how many Weight Watchers’ points a serving of Floofman’s is…..

  36. 30% more ‘tocks… I have that, myself. Not so fun, ackshually.

  37. Too funny! I love it, and I love the fact that one must look carefully to spy the little hammie nose in the first picture.

    @ Biscuit Tin: I know what you’re saying. I would like to have 30% less in the way of ‘tocks meself.

  38. “Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your cuteness needs.”

    I DEFINITELY have a high need for cute. And this hammy is adorabuhls!

  39. In one can is 400% DV of cute. That’s cute overload.

  40. poifect.

  41. temperance says:

    does that say; ‘quick and easy directions. mix ham + 5 kisses. enjoy!’ ?!?!

    [Right you are! -- Mike]

  42. Resriechan says:

    @ temperance:

    AAAA-YUP !! it do, indeed. I read that through, thoroughly, about an hour ago & enjoyed it too !!

  43. Chinchillazilla says:

    I have definitely not gotten enough chub in my diet lately.

  44. Mary (the first). says:

    @SKippymom, I also did not see the hammie in the top pic. the first time I looked. I scrolled back up and there he was. I think the ed.’s are doing something nefarious.

  45. Say no more, say no more, Chinchillazilla.

  46. This definitely was the perfect post to see at the end of a long day!

  47. Queen of Dork says:

    I agree with Biscuit Tin and Berg on the ‘tocks thing. However, I bet this product would make a lovely casserole.

  48. mrowbecca says:

    absolutely brilliant! This is totally going to end up on a card for my husband. Maybe from one of the cats.*

    *we’re not crazy, really

  49. Queen of Dork says:

    mrowbecca: Not crazy. My child and I pretend our cat goes to school and make “report cards” for him. He goes to Kitty Cat Academy for boys and girls. (Home of the Razor Claws!!!!)

  50. nice, and also very good graphic design!

  51. I’m so glad there is no trans-chub. I’ve been trying to cut down.

    For extra spice, add hamapeño

  52. it looks very cutritious

  53. Teh creative qtes!!!! I luffs dem!

    What an awesome idea : )

  54. I am so glad it was approved by “Fuzzy Darling Animals”. Makes me feel better about all that chub, and gaining extra ‘tocks. Wow -and I will be getting 160% of my daily cute requirements? From just one can of ham?? What a deal. But I think really my daily cute requirements are higher…..

  55. totally awesome

  56. I SERIOUSLY have high cuteness needs. Is there a support group?

    Oh wait, this IS the support group. Kind of an enabling group, but still supportive.

  57. 260Oakley says:

    Add brown sugar and mini marshmallows et voila! Candied Hams

  58. JinxtheCat says:

    This is soooo cute. But what is “Amount per Seving?” LOL

    [I'm sure I have no ideas as to what you might be referring. ;) - Ed.]

  59. Not to be a nuffer but I don’t actually see any tocks. I mean if the label and the ad are tocking about this product having 110% of my daily tock needs, I espect to see tocks damn it. Maybe they have the cheek to give me thigh and tell me it’s a tock. The maker may be thinking that parts is parts.
    What if the company was not financially sound and in arrears. I mean I have been a little behind in the past. I can seat that fundamental problem if this were the tail.

    Maybe, in the end, I should ass myself why I am so worried over a small amount of keister. I shouldn’t be all bummed about it. I guess the bottom line is that I just want to see some cute little buns.

  60. [moons Roisin]

  61. lauraewaddell says:

    Hooray for this little guy, what a cutiepie!

  62. Does anyone remember the 4-chan kitteh song lyric? you know enter sandman. well if i can do one my friend will give me a puppeh so lets do one via comments! i will let you choose the song. so, let her rip!

    [There ain't a lot of 4Chan crossover here, Slayer ;) - Ed.]

  63. i don’t have a website! what happened?

    [I think you might've typed/pasted something into the "URL" box accidentally - Ed.]

  64. That’ll be canned SHAME if your father catches you in there!

  65. Remy, no! Not in the food!!

  66. Thank goodness you have way too much time on your hands. So now we all benefit from your boredom and have the opportunity to enjoy just about the cutest and funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. You should get paid for this!

  67. The little guy came to life from the packaging! Sweetums!

  68. HAHAHAHAHA! I loved that. That’s all I have to say!

  69. Absolutely adorable! Nice execution – I love it :)

  70. @BugMan, I was thinking the Pointer Sisters.

  71. The best way to get all my daily ‘tocks required… and more!

  72. kibblenibble says:

    Julie and Ron, this is awesome!

    [Whoa, deja vu :| - Ed.]

  73. kibblenibble says:

    Oh, and it IS important to get our daily requirement of tocks, ’cause it’s Tocktober!
    Love eet!

  74. Hamtastic! and roison, that was totally the assin’ on the cake, as we say in the Souf.

  75. 30% more ‘tocks? I could do with that. I have often wished I could transplant my belly chub to my ‘tocks.

  76. AuntieMame says:

    Roisin:

    “I wonder if they’ll ever get to the bottom of it?”

    “Oh, I expect they will in the end.”

  77. Roisin, Love it!!!! Winner: Most puns per pica (no, wait, that’s a different posting)

  78. ZOMG! BEST. CO. POST. EVAR!!!!

    Julie & Ron, you totally & completely rock.

  79. May not be used as part of a calorie controlled diet.

  80. berthaservant says:

    On the one hand, I want to say someone’s trying too hard to get on CO.

    But on all my other hands and paws, this is just PERFECT!!!!

  81. wannadance says:

    FLOOFMAN’S !

    nomtom, ah luv yew
    nomtom, ah dew
    pleez say yew luv me
    or ah will jes’ plotz.

  82. Sheer brilliance. Is that label available to download??

  83. This was very witty. :D

  84. @Queen of Dork: LOVE the Kitty Cat Academy and their team, the Razor Claws! Do they grade them on naps? I think mine would excel in that subject—they’ve got the frequency and duration!!!

  85. Von Zeppelin says:

    Hmmm. 110% of the Recommended Daily Allowance of ‘tocks. My doctor has suggested that I try to add more ‘tocks to my diet, so I get a little extra by opening up a can of whoopass.

  86. Queen of Dork: Love it!!! I need to start making report cards for my two dogs. I’ll threaten to make them go to summer school if they don’t start bringing home better grades. Yeah, that’ll work. :roll:

    Suddenly I have a craving for a Croque Monsieur… a really, really adorable Croque Monsieur. :D

  87. only 5 kisses???? would it spoil the recipe if I gave it more than 5? like maybe a bazillion???

  88. It’s a MASTERPIECE! A MASTERPIECE, I tells ya!

    *claps, whistles, stands on chair*

  89. I can’t eat that!! all the tocks will go straight to my tocks!

  90. The bestest post ever! Do it again in another flavor!

  91. “Not to be used as infant formula”

  92. All y’all are the finest, most creative and silliest electronicly-met peeps I have ever met…just when it can get no more redonkulous, it does! You so enliven my narrow cubicle world with sheer joy that I am inspired to do more, be more…even if it seems bizarro to the rest of the dreary grey world I move in. Thank you all for sharing!
    p.s. Numba 59 fer the WIN!

  93. Yeah, well Roisin cheats by being so clever and witty. Not fair! :D

  94. This is *awesome.* I love it!

  95. Xtra ‘tocks! Deleeshious!

  96. Hum, yes we CAN?

  97. BeckyMonster says:

    Let’s vote (like a stoat)

    I motion to have Julie & Ron create an entire line of Qtewares and Foodstuffs. Powdered Kittens (reconstitute in blender). Freeze-dried Puppy Breath. Etc…

    Would someone like to second the motion?

  98. *groans* @ Roisin, Auntie Mame and Von Zep, you people are amazing! :-D

  99. Julie and Ron:

    I don’t know how you did it, but your adorable can and even more prosh hammie just made my day! 30% more tocks indeed. Love it, perhaps the post of the year.

  100. The Dutchess of Cupcake says:

    @Becky, Bubba’s mum: “Your adorable can”…..ha ha ha….sorry, just couldn’t help myself.

    As a tock-sumer, I would definitely like to see more tocks around here, it being Tocktober and all. Bring on the tocks!

    This ham will come in handy for my Hammie Helper for dinner tonight.

  101. Hahaha, at first I thought the cuteness was just a ham in a can. Then I read a little bit closer….

  102. I’ma haf to open a second can. My daily cuteness needs are quite high.

  103. GreyandWhite Kitten says:

    I think someone’s got a business going now. It’s crazy cute. I really like the creativity and adorableness.

  104. Hats off to Julie and Ron. Every once in a while something makes me laugh out lioud in my cube world and say OMG! This is one. Can’t wait for the next additions to the ‘product cuteness rule’ love you all for the laughs and I’m with wannadance… still in love with the Mike (the other Mike) NOM!

  105. I want one of those cans! I have plain old FRESH ham! I want CANNED HAM, now!! lol

  106. Queen of Dork says:

    This is fun to catch up after work! Gail (the first one). Yes KCA does grade on naps. My cat got an A+++ for Sphynx Posturing due to “excellent extension of front legs.” However, he did rather badly in table manners because he tends to drink his water with his paw causing him to get grit in the water, skootch the bowl all over the place and slosh water on the floor :(

  107. I’m… I’m a little concerned that there’s apparently an extra half ham in the can. :(

  108. @ Risha Really there are just 2 hams in the can those labels always over inflate the amount in the can! I think they count the juice!

  109. Too, too precious!

  110. You, sir or maam, are a total f*ing genius. Every tiny little detail is perfect. I like the simple preparation instructions. I don’t like to spend a lot of time in the kitchen.

  111. Heh Heh, very clever stuff.

  112. That first pic in the series took a moment to register in my brain. And when it hit, I laughed way too hard at that. I love the little beady eyes peeking out the top of the can.

  113. Sometimes people can be just way too clever for words & All-times hamsters are just way too cuuuuuuuuuuute.

    Loved this. :-)

  114. I have to nuff. Don’t you people KNOW about the hormones these hams are forced to ingest just so that we selfish humans can enjoy canned ham with 30% more ‘tocks? Frankly, I’m appalled by this display. Free the hams!

    [No no, these are free-range 'tocks. Honest, I looked 'em up. The trick is, they swap all the exercise wheels for XBoxes & beanbags. Shhhh. - Ed.]

  115. I know this is wrong. But it just feels SO RIGHT.

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