Greetings from Alternate Reality!

Weather very nice, except for Smurfsday, when it rained paper clips until purple o’clock… Went to the zooquarium and saw the polar sharks swimming in pea soup… Still can’t find a Starbucks anywhere…




  1. Eeewwww! Mucky! Poor bear…

  2. BeckyMonster says:

    Dude, if there’s an alternate reality, there is already paperwork on the move for Starbucks to franchise there!

  3. Did I miss a meeting? Since when do polar bears swim in the Everglades!

  4. Heather in Oregon says:

    awww, just look at his eyes…he is NOT a happy polar bear. And when your polar bear ain’t happy….ain’t nobody happy!

  5. Finding out for hisself that it is not easy…

  6. Today’s recipe: Spinach Souffle with a secret added ingredient.

  7. It’s hard to swim in grass!

  8. What’s that stuff he’s swimmin in?

  9. Eeeewww… that’s nasty!

  10. EW ! won’t somebody skim the pool for the poor bear?!

  11. It looks like an algal bloom (too much algae in the water). Ick. I know polar bears are deadly, but I just want to SNORGLE HEEEEM!

  12. It’s global warming
    Ice cap melts into pea soup
    Bears are going green

  13. hehehe camille… on my first look, i thought “lime sherbert!!!” anyone else for the “impending doom” tag?

  14. Erin K. you’re right. An algae bloom of a specific sort of algae…saw this a couple of weeks ago on MSNBC’s Animal Tracks…it’s actually our fave little foster polar bear Knut.

    I like to imagine him humming the theme from Jaws as he swims through this.

  15. OMG – this is so funny I am going to have to print a copy and put it up in my cubicle.

  16. As we say in Georgia, our (gene) pool needs some chlorine.

  17. I call it “polar bear in a sea of green”

  18. I think it’s duckweed. Looks like algae, but actually it’s tiny plants.

    Cute polar bear! And I second the “impending doom” motion. Cue “Jaws” musique.

  19. Mousesong says:

    omg, is it seriously Knut? I saw this picture somewhere else recently, although I can’t remember where, but it didn’t say it was Knut. I remember lingering over it for a long time–it’s a really, really pretty shot.

    Has anyone else noticed that Knut maintains even to this day (or at least the last time I saw pics of him) the cutest face you have ever seen on a polar bear? It wasn’t just babyface, man, it was god-given adorableness. It transcended the age barrier. Like Beck, Knut will always look like a significantly younger version of himself.

  20. That wasabi paste is really going to clear out his sinuses.

  21. Seems like Knut is often in dirty water; yes, he remains cute in spite of it.

  22. Stunbunny says:

    Mmmmm…. split polar bear soup!

  23. What pray tell is this sweet little baby swimming in? He acts as if he likes it. Love the darling top half of his face. The pea soup water is disgusting.

  24. He’s thinking “Hee–watch what happens when I blow bubbles out of my nose!”

  25. The polary bear escaped the fridigedy dair!


  26. With that amount of wasabi, there had better be some major-sized sushi & sashimi somewhere!

  27. skippymom says:

    My nose just spontaneously shrivelled up and fell right off my face at the thought of being snoot-first in a vat of wasabi. Thanks, now I’m gonna have to get a new nose, and I heard they aren’t cheap!

  28. How many times have I told you polar bears? If you have to blow your nose, use a tissue!

  29. skippymom says:

    Although, with this gaping hole in the middle of my face, I’ll be a hit at Halloween.

    [Sure, just hold one of those tea-light candles in your mouth. – Ed.]

    [Egad, I’m grim… – Ed.]

  30. Mary (the first). says:

    @Rachael, thanks for the haiku! Here’s mine:

    Knut in pea green soup
    Eyes peeking above water,
    Asking “why? why? why??”

  31. It’s obviously algae, could have been taken in my back yard during the

  32. skippymom says:

    Judy? You okay?

  33. I’ll get the life raft. Hang in there, Judy, help is on the way.

  34. Could have been taken in my back yard algae pool during the June-July monsoon this summer.

  35. *whew*

  36. I have never been truly OK, and my computer skills are pathetic, constantly hitting a wrong button. TGIF

    [I hear that. Oh, and next time, try the Any key. 😉 – Ed.]

  37. Knut rises from green depths.
    “Where has Friday Haiku gone?”
    Slips slowly back under…

  38. Resriechan says:

    ok — my 2c worth … the green “stuff” isn’t entirely liquid soupy goup, folks: Look on Knut’s (or whatever his/her name is) fuzzy little head; the stuff there, is all powdery & pellet-y & dry.

    (BTW — Theo — Yesterday, under the link about the white kitteh (alLEGedly)
    in Rehab, someone w/ (I think) screenname Snowpea posted a couple of comments; the later of which, had a FAB photo of her 2 feline MARMIE friends Spencer & Quincy (great names, yes?) … here’s a(nother) head’s-up for ya !!
    I don’t think you saw it; or at least you didn’t get a chance to answer my head’s-up, there. Enjoyez-vous!!)

    [Oh I saw it, no worries. I have marmidar. It’s genetic. Thanks, tho – Ed.]

  39. Resriechan says:

    (@ Theo — wow — that’s a nice accessory to have !!)

  40. the bug man says:

    The hovertext is so wrong.

  41. I’m with cath – I’m pretty sure that’s duckweed. Could also be Wolffia, another free-floating aquatic flowering plant that’s even tinier than duckweed (genus Lemna). During the summer either (or both) can coat the entire surface of a pond. This photo is exactly what an adorable polar bear swimming around in them would look like.

    For something different, out this blog, with photos of some of the weirdest plants on earth:

    This is the direction in which my geekiness/nerdiness/dorkiness goes.

    [Ditto on the duckweed, btw. Not normally a polar bear thing, but makes for quite a dramatic photo. – Ed.]

  42. I meant to say “check out this blog” – sorry!

  43. Looks like some sort of newfangled polar bear spa treatment. 🙂

  44. Ew… they need to skim his water. Although, I’m sure that can’t be easy when you fall under the “lunch” category to a polar bear…

  45. One Eyed Daruma says:
  46. TrixandSam says:

    Hmmm, what to have for lunch… hmmm…..

    OK, I think I’ll have the bear with pesto.

    What’s that you’re asking? OH!

    Polar, not brown. Oh, and hold the grated parm.

  47. Knut’s very own spa day
    sea weed wrap totally wrong
    bring out the blue rinse

    Where has haiku gone?
    could be haiku hiatus
    someone miss the boat?

  48. Theo, can I download marmidar at the app store?

    [From what I understand, genetics isn’t so much about downloading as uploading. So, no, probably not, sorry. – Ed.]

  49. on a trip to gastonia, nc last year we could not find a single starbucks, nor any other coffeeshop, at made for a very long, very sleepy weekend.

  50. catloveschanel says:

    Purple 0’clock and
    Where’s the Puer-ile, Swine Flu
    Got nuttin on you

  51. Yes, with marmidar-you download then upload then esplode.

  52. thats right dude…. this bear is not happy at all……

  53. I think the green is Larks vomit, my favourite flavour from the chocolate selection box.

  54. Looks like Larks vomit, my favourite flavour from the chocolate selection box.

  55. Sorry for the double post, I am on my brother inlaw’s ancient puter

  56. I warned you– do the early morning adult swim, not the one after all the camp kids. :mrgreen:

  57. Knut now has a girlfriend who, so far, has only swatted him once. She is a year older than his 2 years. I hope this will normalize his life. With his beloved foster-father dead and no momma around, he needs some companionship. I think in the wild, cubs stay with their moms for 3 years. Knut won’t be sexually mature for another few years so not pitter-patter of tiny paws yet, but I really hope that bear companionship helps him psychologically. He is a darling bear and really deserves some TLC.

    Sorry for going on about this orphan bear, Knut’s always been special to me.

  58. Ffleur, no problem here, I adore Knut, too, and was happy to hear about his new friend, Giovanna.

  59. earlybird1 says:

    Haha! Kudos to Rachael and Bryn.

  60. earlybird1 says:

    (That’s #12 and #21 if anyone’s looking.) Made my day!

  61. earlybird1 says:

    @Judy and rrk: LOL!

  62. @Camille – just when I thought it was safe to eat spinach souffle! I will never eat it again without checking first… @TrixandSam, ditto with pesto.

  63. Someone ought to skim his pool. He’s still cute, though.

  64. …i have a feeling something else might pop outta that water!

  65. This is just the best thread since oh… the last one, great job Peeps!

  66. Does it stain?

  67. kibblenibble says:

    I wanna brush aside the green crumbs and kees his fuzzy head…Lookit those darlingk round earses! He actually looks remarkably clean, aside from the green stuff.

  68. Pleh.

  69. Darn, camouflage isn’t working today….

  70. Starlinguk says:

    I concur with duckweed. It’s not that bad, really, they’re just tiny little plants. Algae would be icky.

  71. I’m sick and have a fever. But NOMTOM has made my day, again. And yes, I can relate. At the moment, polar sharks swimming in pea soup sound like something that is very real. In a feverish dream at least. Thanks, NOMTOM, I owe you one. Keep them coming.

  72. Okay, now I have to tell my wasabi story. A couple of years ago, we went to a local Oktoberfest celebration, at which my husband had a couple of beers, enough to make him pleasantly squiffy. The Oktoberfest was at a park, near which there were restaurants. His sister and her husband were with us, and they wanted to take us out for sushi at one of these restaurants afterward.

    I should interject that my husband does not like fish. He certainly does not like the idea of eating it raw. So wasabi would not register on his radar. His sister ordered something with cooked chicken in it for him. His beer buzz was still on.

    Then her husband told MY husband to “try this guacamole.” Before I could stop him, he took a big bite. I have never seen his face turn so red. I later asked him what did he think guacamole would be doing in a sushi restaurant, and he reminded me that he HAD been a bit pixelated.

  73. Oh…And I am totally addicted to the “Chocolatier” series of games. In the third one, “Decadence By Design,” you learn a recipe for wasabi cashew truffles.

    I WANT THAT RECIPE. For real!

  74. He’s thinking, “Ewwww..did they have to use pea soup? Haven’t these people seen The Exorcist?”

  75. this is such a SAD picture. i cant believe some of the comments, and im not talking about the people trying too hard to be funny.

    this picture makes my heart cry. i wish instead of taking a picture of the liil guy, the photographer would help the bear out of that hell.

  76. He’s just having an identity crisis, he thinks he is an alligator. Either that or he is just visiting them alligators, making himself @ home…

  77. pesto bear!!

    [Ooh, that gives me recipe ideas… – Ed.]

  78. Oh, and Alicia:
    I don’t mean to offend you, but I just can’t imagine how in the world the person taking the picture would help the bear, maybe grab his paw and pull him out of there? (and then get attacked?) For all you know this person is helping by publishing the picture, there are different ways a person can take action. Plus the weed as gross as it looks is probably harmless to the bear. If it was bad for him he wouldn’t be swimming there at all. We should give animals some credit for that instinct they have, right?

  79. “People trying too hard to be funny” and yet, you did it with such ease and grace.

  80. Alicia, why do you think the bear needs help? Duckweed is perfectly harmless – just a coating of tiny tiny plants on the surface of the water. You could swim in that water with no problem except you’d come out with little plants stuck to you. We have a duckweed-coated pond where I work and although I admit I haven’t seen any polar bears swimming in it, there are muskrats, beaver, turtles, ducks and all kinds of other birds and they are perfectly healthy and happy. The plants are fine, the water is fine (ok, maybe a teeeeeny bit stagnant…), and the bear I’m sure is fine.

    And Katrina – LOL!

  81. Knut tries a pop-art spin on Annie Liebovitz’s famous portrait of Whoopie Goldberg submerged in milk bath….

  82. skippymom says:

    When can we have a new post? It’s Saturday, it’s pouring rain, I’m bored at work, the hole where my nose used to be hurts. (yes, it is all about me)
    A kitten, some ‘tocks, anything–please?

  83. Queen of Dork says:

    skippymom: I remember about the wasabi eating away your nose. Bummer. I hope this does not turn into a fiasco. Please say “hi! kiss, kiss” to skippy for me. I’d say hi from my cat SamKitty too but that would just be lying. He doesn’t care. He’s just all about himself.

  84. Adorable! And now to stay off topic . . . have you guys seen Steve-O snort wasabi in Jackass (I think the second movie). Oi!!

  85. I looooove green tea ice-cream.

  86. skippymom says:

    Q of D: I just jumped back to the hippo post and read your comment trying to wake up mom and dad. Ha ha! They must have been up too late last night or something.
    To be a librarian, since you asked, you need to go to graduate school and get a Master’s Degree in Library Science (sometimes goes by slightly different names). There seem to be a whole lot of us here at CO. And yes, it is one of the best jobs in the world, but don’t expect to make a lot of money.
    Okay, time to go back and see whether they’re up yet.

  87. Resriechan says:

    @ Skippymom: morning !! I can suggest the following (sort of a “consolation prize”)… if you haven’t already ( in the past) I spent a good 20-25 min or so browsing in the C/O Glossary (& be sure to open/ click on words in blue; they’ll go to outrageously cute items….)or izzat something you already knew about?

    Another very useful & exceedingly cool place is

    It’s set up like a simple school vocabulary quiz, with 4 multiple-choices from which to select. It begins to customize to your skill level & gradually becomes more challenging for you. THE COOLEST part, is that somehow your participation provides charitable food to places in Third-World where people are starving.
    It has affiliations w/ both the United Nations & with Harvard. I’ve got really extreme vocab ability (so the standardized tests always said) & it stumps me & keeps getting just a bit more strenuous & fun … Win-win for rice donations !!

  88. skippymom says:

    Leslie, oops, I mean–I’m trying to get used to it, really–Resriechan–thanks! I went to Free Rice and did the vocabulary thing, started out all smug and quickly was in over my head. Obviously this is going to be addictive. And there are all those other subjects on there, too. And for a good cause, wow. You’ve made my day. I’d send you a smiley face if I knew how.

  89. Resriechan says:

    GOOD !! glad you tried it & glad you enjoyed it !!!!

  90. Skippymom, at my alma mater they started calling it “Information science” instead of “Library science” and I seriously considered entering the Master’s program (my undergrad degree is in English and hasn’t done me a whole lot of good solo). At the competing college in the same town, you can get a Master’s in “health informatics,” which I’ve also seriously considered. Now if I could just be guaranteed getting a job that way…

  91. skippymom says:

    Noelegy, my degree is actually MSLIS: Master of Science in Library and Information Science. But it’s been called MLS for so long, that’s how we tend to refer to it. I have a young assistant who’s in library school right now, and her program has some name I can’t even remember.
    I was an English major too, and my little saying about it is that one can look at it either of two ways: You can do anything with that/What the hell are you going to do with that? Doesn’t Garrison Keillor have a running thing about the Society of English Majors?

  92. eternalcanadian says:

    i was seriously worried for the polar bear, wondering what the heck it was swimming in. then i read in the comments a link to where it came from, “Polar bear Knut swims in a pond covered in common duckweed at the zoo in Berlin.” whew, it isn’t a catastrophic event signalling the end of all northerly animals. still looks freaky though to see a white polar bear covered in some green gloop.

  93. Resriechan says:

    @ Noelegy: yup, he does — Hang on, I’m checkin’ it out, ‘cuz long, long ago, I mentally did the figurin’ & realized, that not only did he refer to English majors…but the name of the supposed group is also a clever acronym …rather like Theo’s manner of hiding something *even better* behind the thing that you see ….BBS…..

  94. Resriechan says:

    Wow — I’ve always enjoyed the non-advertising aspects of the Ask web engine; but it sure was FAST this time ….Ennyway, within the storylines of Prairie Home Companion, it referenced the
    P rofessional
    O rganization of
    E nglish
    M ajors ….

    Among other things, occ. during the story / monologue section, you’ll hear them do a “commercial” for the P.O.E.M. ….

    There’s my Public Service Announcement, for the day !!

    A French Major & MLIS (Both, Florida State University)

  95. Queen of Dork says:

    Resriechan: I ruv you! You’re so…weird! Your posts are so…cool!

  96. Resriechan says:

    oops — the origin of this qu. was FROM Skippymom, TO Noelegy … [blush]

  97. Resriechan says:

    @ Q o D: um…thanks for the rove; returned !!

    (should I worry, about the “weird”? or just wander around, remaining blissfully ignorant? )

  98. Queen of Dork says:

    Weird = good.

  99. Resriechan says:

    (whew. THAT’s a relief !! 😉 ). So noted !!!!

    How did the afternoon get away from me, & there were 22 comments and WINSTON before I knew it????? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
    (leaping over to pet Winston, thru’ the computer screen)

  100. skippymom says:

    Goodnight everybody, about to shut down the ‘berry and go home. This has been a fun day, love from Skippy to Res and QD, et al.

  101. Santa – Did they say why, Knut, why they want to terminate my command?
    Knut – I was sent on a classified mission, sir.
    – It’s no longer classified, is it? Did they tell you?
    – They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound.
    – Are my methods unsound?
    – I don’t see any method at all, sir.
    – I expected someone like you. What did you expect? Are you an assassin?
    – I’m a polar bear.
    – You’re neither. You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill. I’ve seen horrors… horrors that you’ve seen. But you have no right to call me a toy pusher, a business destroyer. You have a right to stop me. You have a right to do that… but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face… and you must make a friend of horror and mortal terror. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. I remember when I was with Toys R Us. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We opened the doors on Christmas Eve at 4:00AM. We went into the back to restock the Tickle Me Elmos and this old man came running after us and he was crying. We went back there and there were two dozen shoppers crushed. There they were in a pile. A pile of toy shoppers. And I remember… I… I cried. I never want to forget it. And then I realized… These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love… but they had the strength… the strength… to do that. To win we would need to give the toys away. I thought that I had ten divisions of elves like those men we could build the toys for the year by late September, and distribute them in less than a day. You have to have elves who are moral… and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to make toys and give away without feeling… without passion… without judgment… without judgment. Because it’s judgment that defeats us…

    [I too have seen the horrors you’ve seen, through different eyes – Ed.]

  102. Sharkbait broke the tank filter!

  103. Shana Richmond says:

    Actually to me it looks like maybe sumone has just mowed and thats the grass particles?

  104. Realizing that they’re losing their audience, the writers of “Lost” try a last ditch attempt to boost ratings.

  105. It’s like a combination of two little poems in one picture:

    Algy had a bear
    The bear grew bulgy
    The bulge was Algy
    Algy had a bath
    The bath grew bilgy
    The bilge was algae
  106. Sarah Murphy says:

    Smurfday? Must be my Birfday! Oh global warming and the mucky muck.

  107. Resriechan says:

    @ RevWaldo: I deeply hope that you have now found some measure of healing.

  108. The Charms of Duckweed
    Definitely duckweed.

  109. Resriechan says:

    @ Mary:

    1) The CHARMS OF Duckweed? wow.
    2) I looked over the link & particularly enjoyed the item entitled “Practical Duckweed”. Really got the brain headed in an entirely new direction than it has ever been before …………, to-tally.