In two weeks, she hopes it looks like a macadamia nut.

Ever since Eveyln said her ass was the size of an acorn, Ruth had exhausted herself doing Pilates.

My Tae-Bo tapes arrive in a week.

Self-conscious squirrels are a sad breed, Maggie H.

Comments

  1. aww pooped Squirrel

  2. My God I’ve had those days…

  3. BouvieGal says:

    Wait, did someone actually make a little table and chair for squirrels?

    Or is she leaning on a birdhouse or something and I’m just seeing a table and chair because my brain just loves the idea that someone would create something so twee?

  4. FWIW, “Pilates” should be capitalized. It comes from the inventor’s surname.

  5. Awww, poor skwerlio; I feel like that after ballet class.

  6. This is how I feel at work right now! Poor tired sqwerlio!! (I have become unable to just call them squirrels now – they are always sqwerlios… same has happened with ‘tail’ – always tailio – better yet, Sqwerlio Iglesias or Tailio Iglesias… what has become of me???? 8O)

  7. Not only is that a little table and chair for squirrels, it’s a feeder for them (they usually have a screw or nail pointing up on the table, so that a ear of dried corn can be secured upright for supper). Evelyn is famished and waiting for the corncob to be delivered.

  8. *an ear*

    oops.

  9. Waits for overly sensitive person to get offended by the use of the word “ass” in 3…..2………

  10. Poor girl!

  11. catloveschanel says:

    Does this fur make me look fat?

  12. Work it sqwirly girl… Work it –and One and Two and Three and again… This is the part where the sqwirl wants to bite the Pilates instructor…
    OR was that just me!

  13. Kristabelle, you are NOT alone!

  14. Poor Ruth, another victim of distorted body image. For what it’s worth, I think your ass is fab-o!

  15. I have to get one of those little table and chair for my Mr. Squirlypants :-)

  16. “HEY YOU! YEH YOU, BARKEEP, GIVASANOTHERDRINK
    I mean wosafellah gotado, togeradrink inisbar”

  17. Von Zeppelin says:

    I always found it amazing that Pontius Pilate, Praefect of Judaea from AD 26-36, found time to design this exercise program, what with the demands of being an oppressive tyrant and all.

  18. Jess&Friends says:

    Tocktober!!! Tocktober!!!! Get your ‘tocks in shape!!!!!!
    OMG!!11!!

  19. nice photo

  20. This is the patent pending Multi Access Scritch Machine. Designed for optimum access to all favorite scritching places @ once. No more do you have to wait an agonizing eternity as your slave scritches first your back, and then having to muster all that energy to flop over so they can then in turn scritch your belleh. Now those nobel two handed servants can scritch BOTH at the same time. I mean that is why they were made with two hands isn’t it?

    Normally this package retails for $99.99 but we’ll GIVE it all to you for only, 29 easy installments of $9.99! + $35.75 for shipping and handling

    *optional Add A Hand model available to give your slave a third hand to scritch that sweet spot betwitx the ears. Additional fees and other stuff may apply.

  21. I’ve been inspired! We have squirrels. They NEED a table and chairs to go with their feeder and water fountain.

  22. Starlinguk says:

    What’s wrong with donkeys, Lisa?

  23. Hey, it’s ‘TOCKTOBER! Post some ‘tocks!!

  24. Damn that Evelyn! Just wait ’til she hits middle age!

  25. Tony James says:

    VonZep – you’re not the first to wonder this. Fortunately, recent research involving the Dead Sea Scrolls has revealed that Pontius Pilate’s zeal for exercise was well known. Indeed, it is from him that we received the Latin phrase “mens sana in corpore sano,” or “a healthy mind in a healthy body”.
    The biggest problem in Roman antiquity was gluttony and corpulence. So big a problem was this that the order went out from the Emperor that all citizens of Rome (and by extension, of the Empire) were to “keep healthy habits to greater glorify Rome and be her dominions”. Pontius, who had as a youth suffered terribly from gout occassioned by over-eating, embraced the decree with gusto. He and his wife, Jenifa Craigea, decided to make Judea a shining example, and led the citizens in massed yoga and aerobics classes.
    Unfortunately this led to conflict with local religious leaders who didn’t like the fact that their followers were spending their time pumping iron and drinking wheatgrass instead of spending the day in temple. They decided to make an example of a particularly buff young man, attaching him to a couple of bits of wood and placing a sign above his head which translates as “Let’s see you try to do Goddess Pose now!”
    It all went rather wrong for the young man in question after a local squaddie, who was a little fat around the middle and also opposed to Pilate’s exercise regime, poked him in the side with a spear in order to “free his chakra”.
    However, so impressed was the Emperor Tiberius with Pilate’s work to slim down Judea’s waistlines that he decreed that henceforth the particular form of exercise pioneered by Pilates (notably being attached to two bits of wood, and then marching with arms held out to the sides for several miles while being flogged by men in kilts) should bear his name in perpetuity, while his wife would be given a chain of exercise fora for women “to become fit and healthy to bear strong sons for Rome”.

    So now you know.

  26. donkeyinawhitecoat says:

    Is this the 21st Century “Hang In There Baby”? Do away with the cat scrambling up a tree branch, the true depiction of stress,burnout,misery and ennui is a squirrel, nature’s Jesse White Tumblers, done in by the rigors of American Suburban Life.

  27. It’s Tock-tober people.. I wanna see some tocks and I wanna see em now!

  28. Tony James, I’ve decided to count your post as part of my exercise regime for the day. Surely laughing that hard counts as cardio, right?

  29. @Tony… HEHEHHHEHEHE and so on into intiquity their names shall be remembered for all eternity! And the sqwirlio too.

  30. Oops That was supposed to say antiquity

  31. Tony James-I’ll save you a seat in Hell- you are just tooooo funny for(any other) words.

    Now, about gettin’ to the business of ‘Tocktober, Peeps……….

  32. Who knew Von Zeppelin and Tony James were so knowledgeable??? I’m extremely impressed.

    But this is a heckuva way to start out Tocktober… with no tocks! What’s up with that?

  33. Von Zeppelin says:

    Tony James, it is always gratifying to come across a scholar of ancient history. I appreciate your elucidation. I would think that beheading all of those Galilean insurrectionists was also good for upper body development.

  34. Get a move on it, Skwerlio! I can still see some flab extending from your stomach there.

  35. *psssssttt* Prongs.. you has an extra “told” in the caption….

  36. AuntieMame says:

    Tony James, that was a teensy bit blasphemous and a whole lot of hilarious. :D

  37. Tony James says:

    AuntieM – blasphemous? I think not. If you choose to believe that it has any connection with a certain fairy-tale from a certain best-selling book that is chock-full of frankly unbelievable plot lines, oodles of sex, a good dollop of violence, where the hero is always saved at the last minute by a deus ex machina, then that is your own problem.
    I was talking about Something Completely Different – Tango Juliet Tours (“Let our friendly driver Charon bid you a cheery ‘Welcome Aboard!’ “) maintain that any accusation of blasphemy is without merit, and we have the lawyers to back us up.

  38. AuntieMame says:

    Fairy tale? Now you’re pushing it a little, Tony…

  39. Tony James says:

    AuntieM – ok, perhaps describing James Bond novels as “fairy tales” was a little harsh…

  40. I had a squirrel feeder in my backyard and I had a squirrel who would pose in the exact same way. It’s too funny!

  41. Von Zep and TJ – Bleedin hilarious. Il Nomini Patri et Spiritus Sancti

  42. Tony James says:

    Gimme a large spiritus sanctii and a slice of lime.

  43. WinterMorning says:

    It’s EVELYN!! why can’t anyone spell my name correctly!? *sob*

    This is the most WIN pic ever. I love squirrels so much, and look, there I am!

  44. WinterMorning, does your ass look like an acorn?! Inquiring minds want to know. ;)

  45. TJ – I am afraid were fresh out of spiritus sancti, will Vin Santo do?

  46. Von Zeppelin says:

    Vin Santo? Shortstop for the Cardinals back in the forties, wasn’t he?

  47. Tony James says:

    Yes, and Don McLean wrote a song about him that included the line “they would not listen then, they did not know how, perhaps they’ll listen now.” This was widely interpreted as an attack on the increaing steroid use in baseball. It was the death of Vin’s friend and teammate George “Gashouse Gorilla” Gaspard in 1947 after an accidental overdose, prescribed by a back-alley pharmacist in Panama after a friendly against the local Canal-etto team, that prompted him to urge young players entering the game to adopt the kinds of rigourous training regimen that earned Vin the moniker “Showstopper” rather than turn to performance-enhancing drugs.
    Alas, Vin’s cautions fell on deaf ears, and after his death Don, his long-time neighbour and fellow orchid enthusiast, penned Vincent in memory of his friend.

  48. victoreia says:

    Wait…..James Bond is a fairy tale? [sniff] Next you’ll be telling me the Easter Bunny is a myth!

  49. Sigh and I always thought that song was about Van Gogh. See it is this lack of teaching our youth about baseball that leads to these confused ideas, Not to mention the lack of fairytale theater.

  50. googlie eyes says:

    Katrina, I was going to question your assertion that there are seats in hell, but I guess if there are seats on a squirrel feeder, there could be seats in hell.

  51. googlie eyes-precisely.

  52. Hey, nobody said anything about said seats in hell being comfortable! :wink:

  53. jennie mello says:

    So what I am wondering is why is this squirrel so pooped? I saw 2 squirrels like that this summer and it disturbed me. One was on the pavement when it was about 100 degrees here in the NW (too hot) and another was on a not quite as hot day, on the grass in the sun, panting heavily. Neither of them moved much when we came near, but they eventually disappeared.
    I just thought it was not normal squirrel behavior, but I am not an expert. Can anyone enlighten me?

  54. Jenni Mello it is standard Squirrel behavior when they get hot and are trying to cool off!

  55. @BouvieGal – it’s Office Space for squirrels!

  56. I’m thinking Ms. Sqwerlio there has just had the 7th person come by to ask if she got the memo about the TPS Reports.

  57. Tony James – You forgot to mention the other reason why Vin was called showstopper .He was also a transvestite and the site of a 6ft tall 208 pound male with 3 days stubble , entering the stadium in a Balenciaga dress with Swarovski crystal ear clips and Manalo Blahnik sling backs, would stun audiences wherever he played.

  58. After a long day slogging through contracts, Tony James, Von Zep, Aunti Mame & Hon Glad were JUST what the doctor ordered. Even if Tony’s original description of the origin of Pilates could be interpreted as the teensiest, weensiest bit of blasphemy. But I’m a firm believer that God has a sense of humor so heaven’s probably laughing too right now.

  59. Von Zeppelin and Tony James:

    As a child, I had no idea who Pontius Pilate (which I pronounced “Pill-ah-tee” in my head) was, but I was fairly certain that, whoever he was, Pilates had something to do with him. Maybe it was what his followers called themselves, I mused, or the country he ruled. I’m not sure how old I was when I was finally disabused of this notion… perhaps twelve? To bring it back to squirrels, though, I did know enough to rattle of several genus and species names at that time.

  60. dont believe her Ruth! :]

  61. You guys keeeel me! Excellent entertainment, TJ, VZ, HG, and Poopy McSquirrel!

  62. nice photo

  63. One word my little rodent friend, ~~~~~~~PAXIL~~~~~~~~~

  64. Cambridge_Rat_Mom says:

    It must have been a hot, hot day.

  65. OMG I’ve missed you peeps. And I look forward to guffawing uncontrollably during pilates class from now on.

  66. Is he tired or wot?

  67. Honey Bee says:

    This is how I feel after school! (which is now) So cute! How did that table thing (or whatever) come about?? :)

  68. Title: ” I can’t believe I ate the whole ear”

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