I Want My Phone Call!

Ya rotten, stinkin’ flatfoots ain’t got nothin’ on me!  Ya hear me, ya no-good screws?  Now one’a youse get my mouthpiece on the horn or I’m eatin’ this cage!

Let me guess: NTMTOM's been Googling crime-movie cliches, hasn't he?



  1. Dachshund baby — my favorite!!!!!!

  2. D’aaaawwww!

  3. the photo was SO CUTE and the angle was just right, that as i stared mesmerized, i found myself automatically doing that tongue click thing (the sound you make to call a dog over/get their attention).

  4. My little Melanie always does that on the way to the vet’s. I think she fully believes she’ll chew through the bars.

  5. This just made my day!

  6. ah! small puppy is small!

  7. Baby teeth 🙂

  8. Gorgeous big brown eyes! He is beautiful.

  9. Heather in Oregon says:

    This puppy will definetly get out on appeal…cute appeal!

  10. Who would convict this little puppers with a face and eyes like that? He’ll be let off with just a warning.

  11. (drags water bowl across bars) DIRTY ROTTEN SCREWS! I’m not doin no time!

  12. pass da woid. at midnight we’s bustin’ outta dis joint and goin’ walkies.

  13. Yahng Yahng Yahng!
    Puppeh just chewed his way right into my heart, curled up and went to sleep.

  14. I’ll be happy to serve as his shyster! There’s not a jury in the world that would convict that face. He’ll end up with an apology from the court for the inconvenience. 🙂

  15. I’m innocent I tell you, it was the one paw puppy!

  16. “Wait till I get outta here ya punk!”

  17. Why do so many people have cages for their animals inside the house? Always looks like punishment to me. I have a cat and during the day, during the night, it’s free to go anywhere in the house. If I didn’t want it in a room, I’d close the door. I just couldn’t put that poor animal into a cage. Doesn’t make sense.

    I hate caged animals! Would never get a bird, rabbit etc. So I got a cat. I would never put my cat into a cage. Nor a dog, had I one. Doesn’t make sense.

    If you dog needs to be in a cage because it is badly behaving all the time, then bring it to dog training. Would make sense.

    Cute dog picture though!

  18. tiny front teef!

  19. Hey Jude 🙂 I don’t think cages/crates are meant as punishment, for the most part. I never crate my dog but I know people who do. It’s often perceived by the animal as a safe refuge when they need a break from all the chaos. Personally, I prefer to give my guys the run of the house 24/7 and I encourage them to sleep with me and otherwise spend their time crawling all over mommy. 🙂

  20. j.U.d.E.- My bird loves his cage. It’s a place for him to go and feel safe, plus it (in his mind) keeps his food, water and toys safe. Even though I leave one of the side doors open for him to climb on top of the cage.
    All animals need a place where they can feel safe. Whether it be a cage, behind the books on a book case, under the sofa, where ever. You have to look at it from their point of view, not from a human point of view.

  21. You’ll never take me alive, coppers!

  22. BEEP!

  23. j.U.d.E. – It can be percieved as cruel to own a crate, but most people only use it for training purposes or to keep the puppy/dog well behaved while they’re out. If you get one the right size for your dog and give it food/water it will probably just sleep (like dogs do anyway while their humans are out).

    When my Kitty (that is, my shitzhu named Kitty) was a puppy we had to lock her up at night to train her to sleep at night, since she’d just run all over the place and have accidents while we were asleep. She whined the first few nights, but after that it was no big deal and she graduated to bed sleeping. She’s a smart little dog now (rung a bell to go pee outside, how awesome is that? :D), even at age 14 she still tries her best not to have accidents.

  24. J.u.d.e.
    When a dog is a puppy it’s dangerous to leave them roaming around, because they haven’t learned what is edible yet and will literally stick anything in their mouth (just like babies) and unless you are willing to quit your job and all of the social activities to keep a watch on your dog 24 hours out of the day, it’s just isn’t feasible not to mention unsafe to keep a puppy out of the cage when it’s so small and hasn’t learned good behavior. By the looks of that cushy pillow, the puppy isn’t suffering, trust me..

  25. animals and cages: when I am home, the ferrets have free run of the apartment. When I am not home, they are confined to the bedroom, and at night, they are in a cage. The reason they are in the cage when I am sleeping is so that I can find them in case of an emergency. Cats and dogs may come to you when the fire alarms are going off, but ferrets might not. I want to be able to grab them and get out as quickly as possible.

    I wonder if my ferrets would like this little guy for a roommate? Such a cutie!

  26. Dogs are ‘den’ animals. We find our dog sleeping in small spaces – under the table, under a chair, in his crate (on his own) all the time. Dogs feel most secure in a den-like area. Remember, dogs are not people, and as much as we humans HATE to be confined to a small space, that doesn’t necessarily track to our canine friends.
    Aside from that, a crate keeps a dog from getting hurt when you are not in the house. Some dogs are extremely destructive when left to their own devices and will dig through walls and floors, and destroy furniture. If you can’t be with your dog all the time, the safest place for them is in a space where THEY and your stuff will be safe!

    Andrea – both of our dogs learned to go out by using the bell on the door! Cool beans!

  27. P.S. ADORABLE little jailbird! 😀

  28. As Rachel sang,
    Hey Jude, 😉
    The cage “IS” the training. No need to TAKE the dog to training if you know what you are doing. We started out with the puppy in the cage to house train him. When he became reliable in going to the bathroom where he ought, we left the door open so he could come and go as he saw fit. The cage was then training for the kids. “When puppy goes to his place, it is his time. You are to leave him be when he is there.” Then his bed eventually came out of the cage, and it was no longer needed. The kids respected when the dog needed time, and the dog was happy.
    I am not sure if you meant for your statements to sound judgmental, but used properly, a cage can be a good thing.

    This puppy is properly chewing on his cage, and should be immediately released for good behavior and cuteness!

  29. Oh he’s just precious. Looks like a wonderfully mischievous little pup.

  30. Von Zeppelin says:

    “The FBI today announced the arrest of mob kingpin Vinnie “Milkbones” Cucciolo. The 42-count indictment charges Cucciolo with slipper chewing, carpet peeing, cat annoying, houseplant exhumation and tax evasion. As he was taken into custody, Cucciolo stated, ‘Nyaah! You’ll never hold me, G-Men! My boys’ll bust me out of here. Nyaah.’ Cucciolo was apparently impersonating Edward G. Robinson, except in a cute squeeky puppy voice.”

  31. @ Von Zepp:

    “…houseplant exhumation…”???????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Pacino and DeNiro called. Where do you want them to report,
    for first day/ filming???

  32. I’m going to have to try this bell ringing for outside with my pup! We’ve been having a hard time with figuring out a way for her to tell us… otherwise we just have to watch her every second. Thanks, CO Peeps!
    And for the record, we crate our pup as well. she eats in her crate and has toys and blankies and stuff, so she doesn’t view it as punishment. The cats also dig it, ha, my one cat actually stuck her paw in through the bars and drank some of pup’s water (she likes to drink off her paw)!

  33. @Natalie, we taught our kitteh that (bell ringing 2 go outside) too. We had a string of bells (ok leftover christmas decorations that stayed up a little too long one year), anyway, any time we went 2 open the door to let her out we’d give them a jingle. Before long she was jingling them when she wanted 2 go out. Man she could make those puppies swing when we took too long responding too. I miss my Cookie. 😦 (this was from childhood).

  34. Courtney S. says:

    I, too, will sound out for crates. When my pug was a pup, he was crated for housetraining purposes. As soon as he learned to scratch at the door to go outside and do his business, we stopped crating him. It is much easier than just sticking a pup in a room with puppy pads on the floor- if he learns to go on those pads, he will still be learning that it is okay to do his thing on the floor and not outside. Since a crate becomes a dog’s den, they will not go in it, and thus learn to get on the outside schedule faster.

    P.S. My pug’s name is Zepp, and there have been times when I have accidentally called him Von Zepp. You know you spend too much time on CO when…

  35. Courtney S. says:

    *That is to say, when a crate becomes a dog’s den, he will not go wee in it. Sorry for the ambiguity up top there.

  36. Von Zeppelin says:

    Courtney S, you honor me, dear lady, by addressing your pug as Von Zepp. Does he respond to the full name and title of our namesake and Teutonic Luftschiffmeister, Ferdinand Adolf Heinrich August Graf von Zeppelin?

  37. @ Metz, thanks for the info. After I posted my comment I then thought “hmm, how exactly to go about training her…” I’ve never had a dog before, obvy. 🙂

  38. Courtney S. says:

    Hmm…I’ll try it and get back to you. I expect that using such an impressive and polysyllabic name to address him will make him all snooty and expecting more treats. Which isn’t too different from his normal behavior, but still.

  39. I think this is what would be called ‘cute fierceness’. I can hear him going ‘rar!’ in a very ‘I’m a big tough dog and I mean it!’ voice. 🙂

  40. Love the picture cause the puppy looks so rude lol like he is really mad, puppies rulz

  41. You know, now that I look back on it, I realize that it was really she (Cookie) who trained us (her humans) to come when she rang the bell. Heh. We were very well trained.

  42. Crates are great. Hubby & I did a lot of research before we got our first puppy together (my 3rd dog) and decided to crate-train them. Puppies do not like to go to the bathroom in such a small space, so you keep them in their crates when you aren’t directly watching them, then every once in a while take them outside – when they relieve themselves, they get a “GOOD DOG!” and treat. Gradually you increase the size of their space (boarding them in a small kitchen, then 2 rooms, then 3, then the whole house), and they get housebroken with a minimum of fuss. I can count the number of times we’ve had to clean up our 2 dogs messes inside on one hand, and all of them were our fault for not taking them out soon enough.

    If you associate the crate with happiness, food, and good things instead of punishment, the dogs LOVE it. They have a natural den instinct and it’s relaxing to be in a familiar place with only one entrance to watch. My dogs go in their crates on purpose to relax and chew on bones.

  43. j.U.d.E
    Seriously nuffing on puppy kenneling? Its not a cage its a little dog room for in the house. Dogs aren’t cats. And a kennel is a key safety item for puppies. I’m not going to explain it to you just look up kennel training and you’ll know why its something many responsible dog owners do.

  44. “Boss, I got the boys tunneling ‘neath the joint. We’ll get youse out in no time!”

  45. catloveschanel says:

    The phone call to what’s-his-name Sam Spade hamster detective name that tracked down Miss Kitty on the day without cats? or was Miss Kitty ever found.

  46. Look at his teef!! You can see some groundhoggy teef here: http://mydayinaphoto.wordpress.com/2009/09/26/day-12-wtf-is-today-about/

    Animal teeth make me laugh, and I don’t know why. I love this little pup though.

  47. Mary (the first) says:

    @catloveschanel: You’re thinking of Benson Hedges, private eye, and I think you’re right, he/she could probably gather proper evidence to spring Doxie pup from “jail”.!!

  48. Wahaha! I have nothing to add to everyone else’s hilarious comments, so I’ll just chortle along. 😀

  49. I wish I could leave both of my pups outside of their crate when I’m not home. Unfortunately, though, my older one (Pete) had terrible separation anxiety when I first adopted him and would destroy just about everything when left alone, and the newly adopted one (Zoe) is having a hard time not chewing on everything. Pete loves his crate now, and will go in there on his own when he’s not feeling well, or wants to be left alone.

    For me, though, it isn’t just about keeping my things chew-free. I live in an apartment, and there are times when maintenance will come in to fix something, or check the smoke alarms or fire extinguishers or what have you. If anyone goes into my apartment unexpectedly, the dogs are unlikely to bark and go nuts while they’re in their crate, and I don’t have to worry that the worker will accidentally let one get out. The dogs feel more secure, maintenance feels more secure, and I feel more secure. Everybody wins!

  50. catloveschanel says:

    Thanks! Yes, I think this puppeh is innocent I tell you! I have been waiting for-ever for the next story from Benson Hedges.

  51. From my experience with doxie pups: he is so going to get out of this. They can gnaw through anything and have nearly infinite patience when they are into gnawing mode.

  52. He looks like my Rocc boy!!!

  53. btw, what is this puppy’s coloring called? I really love that coloring and so many dogs have it. Dachshunds, Rottweilers, doberman….

  54. @belphebe, as far as I’ve heard that coloring is simply called “black and tan”. That’s what the dachshund breed standard calls it, anyway.

  55. personally, i luf the little tan eyebrow dots.
    i luf that doggehs have eyebrows – they’re so expressive!

  56. Von Zeppelin says:

    Belphebe, as Gretchen says, this coloring is usually called “black and tan.” This is also the name, by the way, of a mixture of Guinness Stout and pale ale. As good, in its own very different way, as a dachshund.

  57. Anyone know where Berthaservant is? I miss the posts.

    Darling dog, BTW

  58. Isn’t “shyster” a derogatory word for a Jewish lawyer?

  59. Von Zeppelin says:

    Joha, I think “shyster” is a slang term for a shady lawyer, Jewish, Gentile, or otherwise.

  60. “Shyster” does have anti-Semitic overtones. Probably best to avoid that word in the future.

    Cute puppy!

  61. Von Zeppelin says:

    Stace–Here is the complete definition of “shyster” from TheFreeDictionary.com, reproduced from the 2009 edition of the American Heritage Dictionary. Don’t see any anti-Semitic overtones.

    shy·ster (shstr)
    n. Slang
    An unethical, unscrupulous practitioner, especially of law.
    [Probably alteration of German Scheisser, son of a bitch, bastard, from scheissen, to defecate, from Middle High German schzen, from Old High German skzzan; see skei- in Indo-European roots.]
    shyster·ism n.
    Word History: Calling someone a shyster might be considered libellous; knowing its probable origin adds insult to injury. According to Gerald L. Cohen, a student of the word, shyster is derived from the German term scheisser, meaning literally “one who defecates,” from the verb scheissen, “to defecate,” with the English suffix -ster, “one who does,” substituted for the German suffix -er, meaning the same thing. Sheisser, which is chiefly a pejorative term, is the German equivalent of our English terms bastard and son of a bitch. Sheisser is generally thought to have been borrowed directly into English as the word shicer, which, among other things, is an Australian English term for an unproductive mine or claim, a sense that is also recorded for the word shyster.

  62. Aaaaw, cute AND inappropriate! He’s like a widdle biddy skinhead. Learn what words mean before using them.

  63. Von Zep – yes, that’s why I said “overtones.” Did you ever see the movie with Will Smith where someone calls his character a “shyster,” and he corrects the guy, says that’s a slur typically reserved for Jews, and the proper term for him would be “eggplant”? I can’t remember which movie though, but anyway.

  64. Von Zeppelin says:

    Stace–OK, I accept your understanding of “overtones.” Maybe the similarity to the word “Shylock” (a slang term for loan sharks, Jewish or otherwise) adds to this perception. I suspect that NTMTOM was just looking for the sound and vocabulary of 1940s Warner Brothers gangster movies.

  65. Oh yeah, and I think it *does* sound like a 40s gangster movie! I didn’t think anything bad was intended, obviously. Ha, I bet you’re right about the “shylock” thing.

  66. What??!!?? A cage-troversy? My dearly departed pup liked his crate. BunBun likes his, too.

    What??!!?? Puppers can read NOMTOM’s mind?? Smart puppy, give him treats, knows about Google.

    Regarding the term “shyster”, my grandpa used that a lot. But then, he was a drunken Irishman.

  67. Sheesh. It’s getting to the point where you can’t say anything without offending somebody. Pretty soon all we’ll be allowed to do is nod and smile. Until someone finds that offensive, too…

  68. motheralice says:

    Cute little puppah!! Again with the whiskers!!! Eeep!!

    – Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave… 😉

  69. I am not a nuffer! I know NTMTOM is not an anti-Semite or bigot and by now NTMTOM should know that he carries my heart in his hands. All that said – yes, shyster is generally accepted to be a derogatory term for a Jewish attorney. For that reason, you don’t see it in any mainstream newspaper except when in a direct quote.

  70. AuntieMame… even nodding and smiling is not acceptable these days. I nodded and smiled at a customer in the store where I work, and for my friendliness I received a diatribe about our prices (because I so obviously have total control over them! 😦 ).

  71. Rule of Cuteness # 875,212:
    Doxie babies are automatically the cutest thing EVAH!

    Rule of Cuteness # 875,213:
    Eyebrow dots rule!!!

    Rule of Cuteness # 875,214:
    Teen wittle teefs are freaking ador-a-buhls, unless they’re nomming on my skin.

  72. Hold on! I’ll come break you out!!!!! lol

  73. What a cutie! Crates are a bit different from cages. Cages have wires that you see through on all sides. Crates are more like dens with only visability through the door. Dogs like crates (i.e. caves) if they aren’t used for punishment and often are filled with surprize treats like chewies.

  74. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    Pardon my ignorance, all. I’ve updated the text of the post.

  75. NTTOMTOMT: I don’t think you had to google anything. You just channel this stuff. You’re the Trivia Whisperer.

  76. kibblenibble says:

    Must beep da nosie. BEEP!

  77. Dear sir, you have no ignorance for which to be begging pardon. You were obviously fortunate enough to grow up never hearing that particular slur. I was the first Jewish kid in my elementary school and wasn’t so lucky as you. To make matters worse, I’m a flaming redhead. Can you imagine how well that doesn’t go over in the average synagogue?

    Language is a fluid thing, like the moon, ever changing. I checked my AP Stylebook, my Websters unabridged, my Random House unabridged and my Synonym Finder and none of them mentions shyster as the ethnic slur it used to be. Apparently the word is no longer used that way in the lexicon. It’s just a slur against unethical lawyers in general.

    All that said, I’m a member of the NTMTOM fan club, hopefully still in good standing. I can always tell which posts are yours because of your twisted (in a good way) sense of humor. You outdid yourself this week in the hovertext of the rat and the leopard: “That’s peculiar . . . normally the food just lies there.” I could hardly stop laughing to catch my breath.

  78. FIRST OF ALL: For those of you that have problems with crate training and crates in general, you are out of your league! All dogs benefit from crate training as they learn early on that they have a place of their own where they can retreat to when stressed, tired or when they want to hide all their goodies! Our 2 doxie girls treat their crates like teenagers treat their rooms. It’s their business, their space and they don’t like when the other tries to invade their turf!

    Also, Crate Training is vital for potty training! Because a dachshund especially, NEEDS CRATE TRAINING. PERIOD. They are THE most stubborn dogs to ever be borned 😀 They’re notoriously hard to housebreak and God, I can’t imagine life without crates for them. They both very much prefer their crates to sleeping with us as they will get up when they’re ready for night-night and head straight for their crates – both of which remain open.

    The little peanut pictured below looks very sweet and innocent but believe me, he/she is a terror on 4 very short, stubbular legs.

    I am doxnsox and crate training has saved my life. It can save yours too. 🙂

  79. Also,


  80. It’s not just dogs in cages. And it’s certainly not only puppies in cages. And when I leave my house I would never(!) put my dog in a cage! Imagine you are gone for half a day/whole day and your dog is in that cage all that time?!..

    If it is too keep the dog behaved, then I’ll repeat what I said in my first comment. Go train the dog, then it doesn’t need to be in a cage, when left alone.

  81. Jeez some of you seem to be suffering from Logorrhea.

    Hey Mugsy
    Der yes boss
    Can you get me a file and hide it in one of dem, dog chew sticks.
    Sure boss, but won’t it hurt your teeth.
    God give me strength I am surrouded by fools and idiots

  82. Jude, it’s just a puppy. The puppy IS being trained, and this is part of the training. Training takes time and it won’t be so little by the time it’s done. Your position on this is coming from ignorance and your nuffing isn’t constructive.

  83. j.U.d.E.- Sorry but unless you own a dog, you really can’t speak for the matter. Having a crate or kennel for a dog is one of the best things an owner can do for their dog. For example, my mom’s dog, Bo, is scared to DEATH of fireworks. He’s a big German Shepard and they live right next door to a baseball stadium. So in the summer they do fireworks every night on the weekends and some weekdays. He HAS to have the crate to sleep in at night so that he can feel safe. He may still cry and wimper because of the noise but it is WAY better then when he has free roam. You are looking at it from your own point of view, not the dogs. You see it as a boring place where you can’t escape and they see it as a safe place. Bo knows that if he is in the crate nothing is going to hurt him and he is safe.

  84. *waits for cage to be opened*


    *steals puppy & runs*

  85. Subhangi – I love your avatar!!!!

  86. Resriechan says:

    @Becky, Bubba’s mom
    (if you’re still browsing this comment stream)

    Berthas has posted on occasion over the past couple of weeks (I wouldn’t have any concept, of which item it was; browsing CO 3-4 x daily so they get jumbled) ….said she/ they are well but extraordin. busy getting settled in & such…
    Peace !

  87. AuntieMame says:

    Jude you obviously read NONE of the posts explaining why crates are important and necessary, so there’s no reason to argue with you any further.

  88. it’s a ging pup shaw

  89. I’ll be his lawyer!

  90. My dog absolutely *loves* his crate/cage. He’s sleeping in it right now…he hopped down from the couch, stretched, walked over to his bed (the crate/cage), and flopped down onto the overstuffed pillow covered with a gorgeously soft blanket and promptly fell asleep. And is snoring.

    He goes to his bed several times a day for a nap. The door is always open, unless we need him to stay in for a while. He adores his bed.

    People who think that crating is some big, bad thing have obviously never provided one for their dog…and likely don’t even have a dog. To me, not providing a safe, enclosed den for your dog is what is abusive. It would be like not providing a cat with a scratching post or a high place for it to hide out and watch the world beneath them, or not providing a little igloo for a hamster to burrow into.

  91. ilove u mikey im iss u bye ye