Wanna See the North Pole, Baby?

Hey, darlin’ — you’re so hot, you’re curing my frostbite!  You must be the leading cause of global warming, because my polar ice cap is melting, hun-nay!  Better call Santa, because I just saw what I want for Christmas!  So how’m I doin’ so far?


He won’t respect you in the morning, Amanda T.



  1. Hahahaha!

    (Does he have a gold medallion in all that chest hair?)

  2. Is that the Buffalo Zoo?

  3. I love the hovertext.

  4. One Eyed Daruma says:

    Love the Elvis lip action!

  5. Polar Bears and men are all the same… they treat yah nice in the begining but once you get to know them they gnaw on your last nerve…

  6. He best be careful, or he’ll end up just observing as this guy works his own magic.

  7. Who’s gonna hook up with a guy who has a permanent case of cold feet?

  8. 😆 ♥ NomTom’s caption AND teh hovertext! Brilliant!

  9. How much does a polar bear weight?

    Enough to break the ice, baby.

  10. lol @ Malinki!!

    I love bears sooo much. Especially polar bears.

  11. you had me at hello…

  12. My first love was a polar bear named Thor at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. He stole my heart when I was only five years old.

  13. Greetings and Salivations! Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven? Are you from Jamaica? ‘Cause Jamaican me crazy! Are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you’re the only ten I see!”

  14. PS Why the big paws?

  15. How do you like your eggs in the mornin honey, fertilised?

  16. And am I the only person whose mind goes straight to the gutter with the title of this post???

    [Hehe. You said “post” – Ed.]

  17. Hey Theresa:
    What is: “I’ll have a martini………………with a twist”???

  18. “Help, somethings wrong with my eyes – I just can’t take them off you.”

    “You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.”

  19. catloveschanel says:

    You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night.

  20. @AuntieMame: I think it’s safe to say everybody’s mind went straight to the gutter!

    [I think it’s safe to say everybody’s mind got tripped up and pushed straight into the gutter – Ed.]

  21. Men + big feet = big shoes.


  22. Oooh, I think his freshness date expired.

  23. Bear in There, by Shel Silverstein

    There’s a polar bear
    In our Frigidaire—
    He likes it ’cause it’s cold in there.
    With his seat in the meat
    And his face in the fish
    And his big hairy paws
    In the buttery dish,
    He’s nibbling the noodles,
    He’s munching the rice,
    He’s slurping the soda,
    He’s licking the ice.
    And he lets out a roar
    If you open the door.
    And it gives me a scare
    To know he’s in there—
    That polary bear
    In our Fridgitydaire.

  24. Brinnann and Uncle Shelby for the win!

  25. @SoCalSis, it’s a shame how they treat the bears when they walk into a bar.

  26. fish eye no miko says:

    “If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?”

  27. To Rachel for the Subway line:

    ewww, ewwwww and EWWWWW…

  28. Laura K: I know, right? I’m proud to say that one’s never been used on me. I’d like to think I attract a more sophisticated type of sleaze ball. 😀

  29. Theo…re “post.” I had JUST swallowed my mouthful of soup. Clearly divine intervention….

    [Could’ve been worse… soap – Ed.]

    […wait, what’d you think I was gonna say? 😉 – Ed.]

  30. @ lizzums: big feet / paws = big socks too =) … *really disgusting pickup line in 3…2…

    “Hey baby, wanna come over to myspace so i can twitter your yahoo till you google all over my facebook?”

    /end disgusting pickup line

    [bada Bing! — Mike]

  31. Henny Bearman…..

  32. Rachael – LMAO! Brilliant. Mr. Blondie’s friends will love it.
    Malinki – LOL!
    brinnann: Shel ROCKS!

    I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me ?

  33. Von Zeppelin says:

    This guy needs some new pickup lines. The gals all just freeze him out.

    [All the bars on this block are like that. It’s a 10th Avenue thing. – Bruce]

  34. We’re all missing the obvious one though, “Honey you look so sweet I could just eat you up!”

  35. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    To me, he looks like he’s heckling the zoo patrons. “Hey, ya moron. You getting good pictures with your lens cap on? And whaddaya shooting with, a lousy 4 megapixel camera? 2002 called and wants its electronics back. And tell your wife I’ve seen puffins with better makeup jobs.”

  36. All I could think was:”How YOU doin’?” in Joey Tribbiani voice when I saw this polar bear dude.

  37. He reminds me of Gossamer. He’s waiting for Bugs to give him a manicure…

    “Oh, for shame! Just look at those fingernails! My, I’ll bet you monsters lead in-teresting lives. I said to my girl friend just the other day, ‘Gee, I’ll bet monsters are in-teresting.’ I said. The places you must go and the things you must see — my stars! I bet you meet lots of in-teresting people too. I’m always in-terested in meeting in-teresting people. Now let’s dip our patties in the water!”

  38. caligirl, I am SO glad I wasn’t drinking or eating anything when I read your pick up line! 😆

  39. Blondie, I so love you for giving props to Gossamer.

  40. Hey, I’ve met human versions of this bear! But I never wanted to beep a single one of them on the nose, like I do the nose oon this guy. Of course, beeping a polar bear on the nose would most likely be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, if ya know what I mean!

  41. This guy, with his sexy smirk and his cheesy come-on lines, fits my definition of “suave” pronounced as “swaive”.

    [ *whew* …I’m glad I read through to the end of your sentence – Ed.]

  42. Queen of Dork says:

    These pick up lines are outrageous and hilarious…especially Rachel’s Subway footlong one and Caligirl’s “google on my facebook.” I don’t know what I would do if somebody actually came up to me and seriously delivered one of these lines! I would probably either be rendered speechless or burst out laughing.

  43. Hey, I think I met this guy once at a party a room mate held. He definitley looks better in *polar bear*.

  44. I know most said Elvis, but Billy Idol came to mind. 😉

    [Yeah, Elvis wasn’t a peroxide job. – Ed.]

  45. Sandy in L.A. says:

    This made my day! Whenever I’m depressed, I can always count on this site to make me feel better. But I’m soooo bummed that I missed out on all of these brilliant pickup lines!

  46. @Sandy, oh that’s an easy fix, just head on down to San Diego and just about any of the bars on Ocean Beach will fill that, um, need. 😀
    (lived there for 2 years–only made the mistake of going to one of the bars once)

  47. Queen of Dork says:

    Metz: Please don’t tell me that anybody REALLY said anything to you as corny as these pick up lines. Please. I think I would die laughing if anyone said any of these redonk things to me!

  48. Nah, these ones here are too witty by far. The ones in real life. Worse.
    Much worse. 😆 Can’t really recall any of them as I’ve tried (and apparently succeeded :lol:) in scrubbing them from my memory.

    Oh, and BTW: The cakewrecks link I posted above? My very own Aunt had her 40th bday just recently and guess what kind of cake they gave her at her party? GUESS! Yes, bear skin rug skeery lookin “guy” an everything. :LOL:

  49. *snort of laughter* Excellent! He’s one smooth operator!

  50. berthaservant says:

    Hey baby…how heavy is a polar bear?

    Heavy enough to break the ice?

    (can’t believe i’m the foist one to offer that one)

  51. Hey there, can I buy you breakfast tomorrow morning? Should I call you or nudge you?

    And my all-time favorite:
    Did you fart? Because you blew me away.

    No, I take that back. This is my all-time favorite:
    Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

  52. Pogopuschel says:

    One line someone actually said to me:

    “On the day of your birth it must have rained, cause the heaven was crying for losing it’s most precious angel.”
    I burst out laughing, he too, and we’ve been together ever since. ^^

  53. LeAnn (not LeAnna) says:

    I gotta remember the Santa pick up line.

  54. Did you know they rearranged the alphabet?
    Now U and I are right next to each other.

  55. The BEST pickup line and I fell for it hook,line and sinker- “You are the penumbra of my eclipse”-now THAT is a pick up line.