Petting is passé; your cat wants a massage. From Everything is Terrible comes edited highlights from this inane how-to video, offering such pearls of truth as:
- Massage will randomly transform your cat into a stuffed animal;
- A “drooler” is not a person specializing in rings and watches;
- Right-handed people should use their right hand.
Who’s the best sender-inner in the United States? It’s you, Nicole M., it’s you!