It’s Time for Cat Massage!

Petting is passé; your cat wants a massage. From Everything is Terrible comes edited highlights from this inane how-to video, offering such pearls of truth as:

  • Massage will randomly transform your cat into a stuffed animal;
  • A “drooler” is not a person specializing in rings and watches;
  • Right-handed people should use their right hand.

Who’s the best sender-inner in the United States?  It’s you, Nicole M., it’s you!

Comments

  1. Pat Trenner says:

    “You can’t fool drool. Mmmmm…”

    Words to live by.

  2. Hello Video Editor! NEVER PRODUCE ANOTHER VIDEO. Please.

    The cat is cute though. And she means well…

  3. oh, for the love of Pete…I couldn’t even finish this video!

  4. Is it just me, or is Champ the most docile cat ever? Wonder if he had a taste from her “water” before taping began?

  5. I massage my cat, he luuuuuuurves it. He goes all floppy.

  6. What the HELL did I just watch!? :-|

  7. This is a bit odd, I must say, but there is a moment I love. It’s towards the end during “tail massage,” when she’s oblivious that the cat (mostly comatose until now) raises its head to check on what’s really going on down there. Now THAT’s cute! ;-)

  8. That is one gorgeous Russian Blue! I’m not sure how my blue girl would feel about the twaddle narration, but I know she’s the queen of belly-rubs. No drool, either. Off for some quality snorgle time!

  9. Whoooo’s the best cat in the uniiited staaates?! it’s YOU, champer-damper!

  10. ok, at 2:40, the cat looks like it is saying WTF? Massaging my tail?

  11. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    @Moontree: That’s the part of this clip that slays me the most: That song. And why “… in the United States”? Your typical cat owner would say “Who’s the best cat in the whole wide world,” but apparently Contessa von Shoulderpads here didn’t want to risk an international incident.

  12. I don’t know why I find the stuffed tiger so disturbing. Normally I liked stuffed tigers just fine.

  13. Scruffylove says:

    This could very well be Kristen Wiig in an SNL digital short.

  14. NTMTOM: “Contess von Shoulderpads” made me snort coffee up my nose. Fantastic!

  15. I would rank this up there with SNL’s “Schweaty Balls”. Brill. “The front of your cat is a veritable treasure chest of fun”…. Omg. :D

  16. Scruffylove says:

    “You don’t need a pool for this breast stroke!”

  17. Power purring? Hmmmmmm…LMAO, this is hilarious!

  18. This was so painful. Couldn’t stop laughing.

  19. What kind of drugs is that cat on?

  20. I couldn’t get my 3 month old kitten to sit still even if I wanted to do that. This lady is so bizarre, but I’m so transfixed!! So unintentionally hilarious!

  21. “Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun.”

    Yeaaaaaaaahhhhh…. I’m just gonna walk away now.

  22. It’s, now don’t quote me, but, it’s, Chaucer’s, er, Champ’s, “gapped toothed wife of Bath”, er, massage…
    gah, nbrmnd.
    (shades of obscure)

  23. *Falls to the floor in disbelief* Is this woman for real?! This is just a parody, right… RIGHT?! This video made me feel like I’d seen something I’d just as soon never see again. “What has been seen cannot be unseen…” *shudder* >.<

  24. Somebody needs to hook this lady up with Engineers With Cats! They could make the greatest cat-satire (catire?) programming ever! (and I didn’t even watch it with the sound on- definitely going to after work though!)

  25. Well thank you Mrs Obvious, when is your instructional video on how to switch a light on coming out?
    Most cats don’t like their tails being touched, the WTF look he gives is priceless, he reacts, even though heavily sedated, well you would have to be to tolerate this vapid ninny.

  26. @Scruffylove: TOTALLY! I was waiting for her to take off in a hot-air balloon at the end! Hahahahahaha!!!

  27. I only need to know one thing: Where do I get me a flippin’ sweet blazer like that?

  28. That was 3.12 second I’ll never get back, but I did learn this: That the Cat Loving Engineers and she could indeed make a fine video and that when a cat looks at you with daggers- STOP messing with the tail. Sheesh-if looks could kill…

    The lady means well, and I applaud her getting all gussied up and showing us her Champion. Champion is a very well-loved puddy-tat and that is great! I’d love to hear his “demanding a massage” sounds! Ah, that is for another video, I’m afraid. I shall not laugh at an honest effort. Claire- what have I told all our fellow Peeps about drinking and watching CO? Thaaaaaaat’s right, don’t do them simultaneously or at the same time, even….

  29. Hmmm. I wonder if the tail technique is transferable to humans.

  30. Tiger Lily- yes, with the possible exception of the tail, I suspect, in most cases.

  31. As for the stuffed tiger. That was probably cuz her kitty was getting pretty pissy and she didn’t want to bleed on camera! The video was actually boring and ….well…stupid…uh…and not entertaining….and I pray she never makes another.
    Cashew : Engineers with Cats are actually funny…please don’t wish there videos to be ruined by this lady….sigh….

  32. Wow. That is all I can say.

  33. make the “there” a “their”…sorry

  34. @Laura K., I am so with you. Also, is that cat drugged?

    For the record, as I am typing this, my three-foot-long adorable black cat, Felix, is passed out in my lap — without having gotten a massage. Though I have to say I prefer this spot to his last one, the Shift and Caps Lock keys on my laptop.

  35. What’s really disturbing, is that my three year old has that same stuffed tiger. We named it Hobbs, for the Calvin and Hobbs cartoon. For some reason, I want to take it away from him now, now that I know that creepy hippy woman had her hands on one similar. Am I wrong? but anyway, meh, that lady creeped me the crud out!

  36. uh, im going to go take a shower now. near the end, i half expected this lady to head to the cats naughty-bits. this was plain creepy…so im going to show it to all my friends :D

  37. Use your right hand. Unless you wanna try the left.

    But she didn’t rub the back of his neck, and that’s the prime spot!

  38. yeah, wtf is up with the tiger? perhaps that is Champ’s stand in for when he’s annoyed and trying to scratch her eyes out?
    My cat is a drooler. Now, I love him more than anything, but frankly it’s gross.

  39. Go ahead, massage my dad’s cat’s tail. You’ll be drawing back a bloody stump.

    And can I just say . . . BELLYRAMA!!

  40. my cat would eat me if i tried to pet her like that.

  41. I wasn’t going to watch, but then all the quotes drew me in. So now I throw in one from a pet movie,
    “We can love our pets, we just can’t LOVE our pets”

  42. That cat seriously seems sedated

  43. “Most people will go mid back….meh!” LOVE IT

  44. Not sure who’s on stronger drugs – the cat or the dame!

  45. O. M. G. That isn’t real right? The LOOK on the cat’s face – all WTF??
    (and that’s what I’m thinking too)

  46. Ummmm….
    what…

  47. Juno – I thought you wrote, “massage my dead cat’s tail…”

    It wont help any, Hon.

  48. i_wuvs_puttins says:

    The look on that cat’s face is priceless when she starts massaging his tailio. He’s probably thinking, “she has to go to sleep sometime,” at which point he’ll either shred her face or leave a little gift in her favorite pair of shoes.

  49. In THIS case a drooler is not a person specializing in rings and watches? Um.

  50. The vid was so-so, the cat was a gem and the “Contessa von Shoulderpads ” got me LOL…(still laughing…)

  51. PLUS she doesn’t really “massage” the cat at all – just pets him in kind of ineffectual ways. The way that kitty’s tail is twitching at times is telling me “NOT going to ask for THIS again.”

  52. Remember: You can’t fool drool.

  53. It was just ok until NTMTOM —> Good catch on the United States and Contessa von Shoulderpads had me laughing so hard!

  54. NutellaonToast says:

    “What kind of drugs is that cat on?”

    A lot of them.

    Oh… the cat? Well, he is straight sober…

  55. This woman reminds me of Suze Orman.
    “Cats first, then money, then things.”

  56. fluffernugget says:

    I couldn’t get past the snazzy jacket and makeup.

  57. OMG Best Video Ever… Still Chocking on my laughter here at work..

    even thinking about the tail part makes me tear up again… the look on the cats face!!!

  58. This must be from the new season of Tim & Eric…right?

  59. Print= Animal pattern + vegetation, for those for whom neither is sufficent.

  60. Oh geez, that was too good! best vid ever :)

  61. PS… and why is he only the best cat in the United States? Why not the whole world?

  62. This one says it’s the “Best Cat In Town”… but this one says “Best Cat Around”…

  63. I don’t care how earnestly she looks at me and Champ while giving these “tips”, I won’t stop laughing, that was the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen!

  64. That looked like some shtick from SNL. Loved the look on the cat’s face when she did the tail. More Acepromazine please!!!! Notice the woman was wearing long sleeves, possibly to cover her scars.

  65. “Let’s see those scars the Germans made on her back! Those terrible scars! How about it, Maria? “

  66. On YouTube, the info for this video contains a phone number which will connect you with someone who will give you (not your cat) a very different kind of massage. No, I didn’t call the number, just googled it.

  67. kzgz, that’s pretty much what I was thinking. That’s pretty much how I scritch my kitty all the time anyway.

    that video really was stunningly hilarious. I have to say, though, that I’m starting to feel sorry for the lady – she does mean well, and her kitty is well loved. But on the other hand, that video really was stunningly hilarious.

  68. Dee, I wondered that myself. I guess it’s because MY cats are the best in the world?

  69. @Theresa – PLUS a patchwork motif to bring it all together!

  70. Nicole Montalbano says:

    Wow you posted my submeeshon!

    Champer-Damper!

  71. My face actually started twitching half-way through that video. I also started glancing around as if I were doing something naughty. I hope to god my memory hasn’t tucked away bits of this to revisit me in a future nightmare. Vapid cat lady of horror!

  72. See, this is why I don’t get cat people.

  73. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    The video, I have learned, is titled “Your Cat Wants a Massage,” released in 1999 and hosted by Maryjean Ballner and “Champion.”

    Alarming as it may sound, this is not the only instructional video on this subject. A search at Amazon turned up three DVDs about cat massage, one of them also covering dog massage.

  74. No, no, no, chloebean–my cats are the best in the Universe! :P

    Now…..do I actually watch the video, or not? Decisions, decisions…..

  75. Wow, that’s wonderful. I think I’ll call them instead of going on my next date.

  76. Ok this woman is out of her mind…my 2 love to be petted but I can only imagine the hiss and fake bite I would get trying these antices, my girls would say ” momma get the f*ck off me”

  77. That was a slow torture, but like a car-wreck, in that I couldn’t turn away. That poor kitty. He gets lots of pettings, scritchings, and massages, but he lives with that loony. :) Kinda kidding- it’s quite obvious she loves the heck out of that animal.

  78. Does John Waters know about this? Or could he, perhaps, be the evil genius behind this little vid?

  79. two silver cats says:

    She kinda reminded me of Meg Ryan, in a sort of loudly-dressed too-much-valium sort of way. Does anyone remember those “Sew-Easy” make-your-own-clothes pattern things in the back of fabric stores? This was always the Featured Outfit.

    Btw, I am going to call my cat “Contessa von Shoulderpads” from now on.

  80. cat/dog massage and cat/dog yoga, it’s all the rage ntmtom….

  81. Juniper Jupiter says:

    Oh, PISH to all who diss this viddy!! Keep in mind EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TALK TO YOUR CATS THE EXACT SAME WAY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!

    Including me! :P

    Awesome find, Nicole!

  82. I think that she has been sneaking some of her cat’s nip.

  83. Is it just me, or does the cat look totally unenthused about getting a massage?

    Lady, that’s not power-purring … that’s a cry for help!

  84. I. loved. this. Second, third, fourth the many people who said the best moment was when she started petting the tail, and the cat was like, “Um…”

  85. Mary (the first) says:

    Sorry to complain but there have only been two posts today and they are both YouTube. I can’t easily watch them at work. I come here when I need a break from work badness and can’t see a darn new thing because they are videos! BOO HOO and BAROOO and all that. How about a new cute PHOTO instead?! PLEASE. I’m begging. There is a lot of work badness I need relief from. (Yeah, I know, “From which I need relief.” Deal with it.) (See what I mean? I’m getting cranky with no new cute!)

  86. motheralice says:

    I think that might be the most warped thing I’ve ever seen….

    Tail massage kinda squicked me out, but the rest was funny.

  87. My kitteh loves her shoulders gently rubbed, an important section to remember. Think of all the work those muscles do! She has a good point about the facial “bliss” spots, which any observant cat lover should know by heart. My cat’s a “drooler” too, which is accompanied by the out of focus eyes and steady purring! ;)

  88. NTMTOM – the full video is 103 minutes long! Just imagine that. I’m a librarian and now I’m tempted to try to track down a copy. I don’t want to actually fork over any of my hard earned cash for one.

    I feel kinda sorry for Champer-gamper. My tabby boy, Philly Cream Cheese, (see my avatar) is the “Best Kitty in the Whole Entire History of the Universe!” He likes it when I sing his “Best Kitty in the Universe” song to him.

    And please, for the sake of the kitties, remember – You can’t fool drool.

  89. Cat massages. Pet-icures. Pet plastic surgery (a pet plastic surgeon offered to help my dog with her saggy boobs, uh!).

    WHAT NEXT.

    Personally I love this video. I have watched it 5 times today. I LOVE IT. I especially love the awkward pause after chinny chin chin.

    “Remember: you can’t fool drool…MMMMMMM.”

    Bellyrama,
    Aly

  90. Champer-Damper is my new hero.

  91. Anybody in RI? Because I’m afraid I’m gonna need someone to come over to my house and, you know, rescue me because I can’t tear myself away from this crazy vid. And it totally gets crazier upon repeated watching.
    “Whoooo’s the best cat in the uniiited staaates?! it’s YOU, champer-gamper!”
    How about, “Whoooo’s the best cat in those states east of the Mississippeeeeee?”
    Or “Whoooo’s the best cat in cities with a professional baseball teeeeeaaaam?”
    Or, finally, “Whoooo’s the best cat in the part of Cranston Rhode Island that’s bordered on the east by Garden City Maaaaalllll? It’s YOU, Champer-gamper! It’s YOU.”

    I’m seriously sorry, I’m gonna go have some of whatever drug champer is on.

  92. I’m glad that I wasn’t the only one creeped out by this vid. Lady, don’t do this ever again!

    That said, I still practice many forms of cat-massage to the delight of my big furry guy. I’m sure the many folks that follow CO could write quite a tome on this subject.

  93. Mary (the first) says:

    Well finally I get to see the video.. I’m sure glad I”m not the only one who found it a bit ridiculous. I do have a book called “How to Massage your Cat” that is hilarious. It’s clearly toungue in cheek though. This video, I’m not real sure if she’s serious or really pulling our legs. And yeah, the best moment was when she said something like “start at the butt”and the cat “HUH? DO WHAT?!?!?!” immediately. I may have to watch this again.

  94. What, nobody else was bugged by the “vice-a versa”? Argh!

    I have to admit, I actually bought the Linda Tellington Jones video called “Tellington Touch” years ago when I had a behaviorally-challenged kitteh.

  95. The look on the cat’s face at 2:39 is awesome. He looks so put-out that she’s bugging him!

    “Contessa von Shoulderpads” – ROFLOL!

  96. It’s like the touch of a fairy.
    Personally I think she’s touched like a fairy.

  97. I approve of this post so much, I think I just started drooling.

  98. “use two hands to double your pleasure double your fun.”
    zomgsnork!

  99. Hold me. I’m scared.

  100. Did I accidentally type stupidoverload.com into my browser?

    [If you have to ask... - Ed.]

  101. poor stoned kitteh :(

  102. Holy cow! What basement did they dig this lady and her technicolor dreamcoat out of? Please, put her back.

    On the other hand, I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time.

  103. I totally own this movie. It’s all as amazing as this clip.

  104. I”m sorry but this one just bordered on disturbing for me. This poor, sad woman. The whole thing made me uncomfortable. I don’t know who was enjoying this more, the cat or her strange, strange owner.

    If I’m completely honest, it was pretty hilarious too. In a deranged sort of way.

  105. kittensnotkids says:

    did she actually say touch “like a Fairy?” LIKE A FAIRY?!?!?!!!!

    SHE DID!

    wow.

  106. I’ve never commented on this site but I have to on this one–Best. Clip. Ever. I’m still picking pita bits out of my hair after laughing at this clip. It kind of reminded me of the infamous “Welcome to My Home” clip that you can tell means well but seems to have been created by cult members circa 1987.

    I want to learn how to instantaneously turn my Russian Blue into a stuffed tiger and back again. Would make bathing him so much easier.

  107. :D AWW :D That kitty is SO happy with his owner petting him :D

  108. Daphne Moss says:

    *wiping eyes, catching breath*
    Ooh, my gawd …. this was f-in hilarious. The only way this could have been funnier is if she’d been wearing a Snuggie. (What nice lady nees to have a hot date, and really soon?)

  109. MediocreDeity says:

    “Contessa von Shoulderpads” made me laugh even harder than this video. Send “Not That Mike The Other Mike” a free calendar for comment of the month or something. :P

  110. okay folks, if you think this video is disturbing, watch it again and think either, um, master of her domain, or instructing her boyfriend on how to, um, do it right. it’s the only thing i could think of to make sense of this video.

  111. whoa! she’s scary!

  112. MediocreDeity says:

    Okay, maybe I am totally out of my bloody mind, but at some parts of this video, this woman kinda looks like the LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE guy. (Chris Crocker.)

    Here are some screencaps of her face compared to screencaps of Chris Crocker’s face:

    http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v185/MediocreDeity/?action=view&current=CatLadyChrisCrocker.jpg

  113. creepy lady LOL “caution!!!”

  114. “You don’t need a swimming pool for THIS breast-stroking!”

    Ummm. Can we say… FAVORITE NEW PICKUP LINE?? Will put this one to immediate use in the wooing of male companions. I’m sure that it shall be met with 100% success… who doesn’t like a veritable treasure chest (see what they did there with the word play??) of fun??

  115. People, seriously? There is literally no way this video is sincere. This woman is just having fun, or possibly being a paid actor. I mean yeah she is teaching you how to massage a cat, but in a very tongue-in-cheek way.

    In other news, this video is all kinds of awesome.

  116. I hope shortly after taping, someone took this woman gently but firmly by the hand and led her into the outside world with sunshine and other humans . . .

    Would LOVE to see the two catyodeler imaginerds remake this vid.

  117. Wasn’t Contessa Von Shoulderpads the one that the guy in “The Sound of Music” was going to marry?

  118. *facepalm*

    Of course there is animal massage, but what I see mostly is just for racing horses. This lady is just redonk. I am a massage therapist and I do not approve this video. Lawl.

  119. LOL @ NTMTOM’s “Contessa von Shoulderpads”.

  120. I laughed so hard I cried…the comments were hilarious too. Love it!

  121. wow! tht cat looks so relaxed! it seems that he really likes the massage. lol! i should try this massage with my cat. i hope she will not scratch me.

  122. jackie31337 says:

    The early 90s called. They want their fashion and hairstyle back.

  123. well the video was just excruciating to watch, but I suffered through till the end hoping there might be some redeeming quality (like the cat rearing up on it’s hind legs and paw boxing the lady in the face) …

    … but the comments … now THOSE were hilarious and had me crying with laughter, so cuteoverload is redeemed again !!!

  124. Rafi, I sing my own version of “You’re the Two Best Babies in the Whole Wide World” to my doglets. One responds by licking my mouth and the other one howls. :D

    I wouldn’t think you’d need instructions on how to massage your pet. Doesn’t it just come, like, naturally?

  125. Kristinpants says:

    oMg best video ever!! ! !

  126. Kristinpants says:

    !

  127. Wait! I’m right-handed. So which hand should I use? I get so confused.
    Better watch it again.

    And Power Purring is not so much purring as WTFing, I think.

  128. @ Roxy Sprocket – You own this movie!? Where do you live? Can I come over for a movie night? I’ll bring crunchies.

    PS – I’m a crazy cat lady but not crazy like in a Bad Way. :-)

    Bellyrama!

  129. This was HILARIOUS. The best cat in the united states? Why limit yourself to this country? How about the western hemisphere? Or the whole world? I’m glad there are strange people in the world….they entertain regular people like us. I can’t imagine what the entire video would be like.

  130. tomorrow: how to teach your dog to teach you to play “fetch”

  131. This is why I don’t post videos of me petting my cat. Because it’s basically kitty porn. Trust me, that cat isn’t sedated AT ALL.

  132. Personally, I think this video is a bit generalised. If you have a cat that is a bit into S&M like my boy Lugosi, he likes his massages a bit rougher and that *really* sends him purring – check out this video! ;)

  133. shazzanorth says:

    There is a hilarious book called “How to Massage Your Cat” by Alice M. Brock (yes – of Alice’s restaurant). My favorite line is: turn the ears back until you hear the click. It is not a real “how to” but it is very funny! You can still find it at Amazon.

  134. Working Rachel says:

    That was the creepiest thing EVER. And dirty! And completely void of any content whatsoever!

  135. Whoooo’s the stuffed tiger in the uniiited staaates?! Way too funny!

  136. well. that was bad. Who can I contact to get that 3:12 min back !!!!!

  137. *blink blink* Wha~?

    What did I just watch there? I can’t exactly tell… it’s like I’ve just blacked out the last 3 minutes.

  138. Hey, I never knew the 49th Street Bridge Song was actually about cat massage!

    My mother was at my house yesterday and was reading my copy of How To Massage Your Cat. She’d never seen it before. I agree that “until you hear the click” is the funniest bit!

  139. I see I’m not the only one to immediately think SNL, but I was thinking of “Dog Show!” Remember that, with Molly Shannon? Although, it IS also reminescent of the Kristen Wiig balloon skit and her Suze Orman impression! “First people, then jyackets ….”

  140. ACINAPI.
    A cat is not a percussion instrument.

  141. Best in town… best around

  142. you’re funny and your cat’s adorable. Mine drools too.

  143. @Unci — you are entirely correct. Cats are TAFFY. ;)

  144. Teeny Gozer says:

    You know, I dabble in being something of a crazy cat lady, but I bow in the deepest respect to this woman, who is the Craziest Cat Lady of them all!

  145. Well the video was something else but the comments were hesterical. I used to have a cat that drooled but it wasn’t being massaged.

  146. junkfoodmonkey says:

    “Damn, the cat is hiding behind the dryer in the basement and refuses to come out and I really want to finish the video… oh, wait I’ll just use this stuffed tiger. Some clever editing and nobody will ever know the difference!

  147. Did anyone read “massage” as subtext for masturbation in this video? Watch it again, replacing the word.

  148. KittyMarthaPoo says:

    Two things:

    1.) OMG, totally ’80’s fashion!
    2.) that is the most awesomely mellow, relaxed cat on the planet! I WANT HIM

  149. omg I loved “Belly Rama!”

    LMAO!

  150. berthaservant says:

    Weird. But I must say, the second I started playing it, Bertha woke up and began snorgling me incessantly.

  151. Barbarella, my boy kitty likes his butt spanked, too!

    Back to the original video, though, if this is not a spoof, that lady’s NUTS! And her jokes are completely lame, especially the one about the “drooler” and rings and watches. So sad.

  152. Okaaaayy…… way too many hilarious comments for me to mention them all, but whoever said, “Put her back!” — that was hilarious.

    Barbarella, the kitty being spanked looks like he’s trying to get away. Could just be me, since I’m a dog lover & am not familiar wif kitties, but that’s what it seemed like.

    The only thing this lady taught me was….. nothing. No pet /really/ likes their tail massaged that I know of. My dog might half enjoy it if he’s in a good mood & he has an itch, but he’ll generally look back at me (much the same as this cat) as though to say, “Hey! That’s my tail, and it’s delicate! Hands off, weirdo!”

    And does anybody share my pain? I come here at night a lot, so I have to stifle my laughter. It’s more like panting–I call it silent laughter. And I’m starting to do it in the daytime, when I’m free to laugh out loud. HALP!

    To Martha (the first), if you need more cute, just browse the archives. Honestly, there’s millions of entries. Even if you’ve seen them, they’re still funny. Especially if you’ve seen the comments.

    And I don’t think the cat was on drugs. He’s just very mellow.

  153. Muttluver – I curious what part of the spanking video told you the cat was “trying to get away”? Was it how, when Mommy stopped, it stayed put? How it rolled over and exposed its belly? How it rubbed on everything in sight? The purring?

  154. Merry Stewart says:

    Is it my imagination, or did this woman forget to put eyeliner on her left eye? Very very strange looking.

  155. The fact that the video has a ‘nightmares’ tag make me happy. :D

  156. I guess my cat is one of the few who loves to have even his tail pet, lol. He’s got such long tail fur that I have to go from tip to tail to get the loose hair or so he doesn’t melt in the texas heat.

    That said, the video is complete crack

  157. that is amazing. amazing

  158. Laura: I have had this conversation before with someone on youtube, who was making claims that for cats all this “massaging” has sexual overtones. I told the person to give me scientific proof of that, and they couldn´t.

    This is a typically, sick and dirty HUMAN way of thinking, where everything that looks pleasurable in other species is compared with the human sexual pleasure. Okay, so I say “little pervert” when I give Lugosi “spankers”, but that´s just a pisstake and a silly thing to say. Trust me, if I knew that this kind of thing was giving my cat sexual pleasure I would NEVER do it. But I do NOT believe that it´s sexual with cats, it´s simply the same kind of pleasure that we would get from a back rub or a head massage, for example – but unlike us, cats *show* how much they like it with their physical and audio (purr) reactions.

    Anyways, you make your own mind up about this, that´s just my 2c on this.

  159. This video is not about pleasuring your cat sexually, nor is it about massaging your cat. Does no one realize that it’s just full of sexual innuendos? I’ve read comments where people call this lady nuts and it was a waste of their time watching this video, but it’s just comedy. Others mentioned SNL (Saturday Night Live for those who are not familiar), which is basically the same kind of comedy. You would definitely see this type of skit on a show like SNL. So before you start saying this lady is whacked out of her tree, watch the video again and take note of the sexual innuendos.

  160. Jim K.: OK, ok! So I don’t know cats! I just noticed how the girl had to keep pulling the cat back so she could “spank” him some more.

    As for all the sexual stuff: you really only notice it if you have a dirty mind–I know from all my friend’s “that’s what she said” jokes that practically /anything/ can be perverted.

  161. “Caution: Your cat will either like this or it won’t.”

    That about sums up everything you could ever do.

  162. Eh, I couldn’t even finish the video, it was just toooo awful.

  163. “Who’s the best cat in the greater Los Angeles area, hmm? Who is it? Whoo is it? It’s you, isn’t it? Yes it is! Yes it is!”

  164. I sure *hope* it´s a pisstake, because if that woman is serious then she *is* whacko. ;)

  165. Great cat! It’s face at 2:40 is priceless. Translation: What the HELL is she doing back there?

  166. Oh my god, the fact that people are ’nuffing over this video is almost as funny as the video itself. I am crying from laughing. A++

  167. Ok, did anyone else notice his “OMG please kill me!” face at the “chinny chin chin” part? Just wondering….

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,347 other followers