So, Dr. Charmin, My Old Nemesis…

… we meet again!  You look surprised to see me, you villainous swine…


Perhaps you’re wondering how I escaped your thugs in Tangiers…


And that bomb in the Swiss embassy — that was meant for me, I assume?


It was the girl who warned me — you should never have trusted her…


And now it’s the end of the line for you, evildoer!


The sender-inner?  The name’s W. — Robin W.



  1. Von Zeppelin says:

    Best comic-book fight sound effect in history: “Unspool!”

  2. Another verb? How about undulate? Scudding? Knackered?

  3. No, Dr. Charmin, I expect you to die!!

    cough cough

    Sorry, I horked up a TP ball.

  4. Outrageous, original, creative — hilarious! 🙂

  5. omg…. this kitty has some problem with Charmin brand?

  6. yet another brilliant NTMTOM entry! made my day! … and LoL @ Saffron “Sorry, I horked up a TP ball” hahahhahhah

  7. fencerchick says:

    This is one of those pics that reminds me of an older graphjam image …. about what people do when they see their cat misbehaving…


  8. Courtney S. says:

    Many kudos for the use of “perforate” as an onomatopoeia.

  9. BeckyMonster says:

    I think it’s high time that NTMTOM got a Peabody or a Pulitzer or something like that for his absolutely fabulous posts!! Is there a petition I can sign?

  10. Dexter Fishmore says:

    NTMTOM is on fire!

  11. I guess I’m kinda lucky, in a sense, that my cats don’t destroy TP.. but on the other hand they do have a freaky fetish for those hair catchers for the drain and hair ties that Sasha still hasn’t learned; are not edible even after throwing up several..
    I can only imagine really needing to use the bathroom only to find out the last roll has been thwarted by cats…

  12. This is hysterical and so, so naughty.

  13. lol, its funny when its not your cat!

    Maybe it wasnt soft enough.

  14. bubbyscranky says:

    I think the tp has been bunny kicked to death. So nice of kitty to save owners from the evil toilet paper.

  15. They keep an eye on paper towels, too. (You never know what nefarious scheme that Brawny guy might be hatching…..)

  16. Nice use of a tp roll in loo of a punching bag.

  17. OMG that kitten is so freakin’ adorable!!! Kitties that cute can get away with ANYTHING in my house!

  18. Rock. And. Roll, kitteh! Let ‘er rip!

  19. I came home to the same scene today. Except I suspect it was not my cute little tabby, but my big fat old tortie who killed the TP.

    She’s in time out right now.

  20. It’s dead, Jim!

  21. All in the line of doodie.

  22. This is the beginning of a “puff bed”. After it is all shreaded, you must gather it up into a rounded mass and sleep in the middle of it.

  23. Mary (the first). says:

    Annihilate! Decimate! Congregate!!

  24. I’ll bet it’s Dr. Charmin who’s behind this nefarious scheme to do away wit interweb kittehz tomorrow! 👿

  25. catloveschanel says:

    This kitty was torn up after hearing of the plight of Miss Kitty, and a
    world (ba-dum) without (ba-dum) Cats….

  26. catloveschanel says:

    ew, I guess I forgot to close my bold tag.

  27. Oh, shoot! Thanks for reminding me to buy tp. Forgot when I was at the store. Despite what you might think kitty, we humans need that stuff.

  28. It’s the brown tabby in our house who is the tp criminal, too. He doesn’t do it all the time, though. Only … when … you … least … expect it.

  29. In pic no. 2, check out the laser eyebeams.

  30. catloveschanel says:

    Ho-HAW! is a good verb for frame 3. Exclamation points count as 3 verbs.

  31. Oh, I want to see the video!

  32. Saw a photo in a cat magazine some years ago: two cats lounging on the kitchen counter with a shredded roll of paper towels between them. Both cats are looking casually into the camera. Caption: “Prove it.” Harder to deny when you’re caught in the act like this. But they always look up at you with that “What…?” expression.

  33. @saffron: LMAO! That nearly had soda coming out my nose…

    My kitty babies have never done that… it’s the invisible cat that did it.

    BTW – they can shred the Charmin, they just can’t squeeze it. Mr Whipple would not approve of squeezing.

  34. Fold! Spindle! Mutilate!

  35. Mary (the first). says:

    (hmm.. I wonder what happened to my earlier comment.. it was along the lines of:

    Annihilate! Decimate! err .. Conjugate!

  36. Tear, wipe, flush?

  37. “Take that… and that…and this….and one of these, evil tp!” Hehe! I try to get mad at my cats when they do this. but somehow, I just can’t! Unless it’s the last roll in the apartment and then I have to go out in the ice and snow after a long day at work just to buy some more! Then I get kinda mad! (But not for long!)

  38. Ok, raise hands, how many of you in Amy’s predicament have, or would, just gather some of the shreds off the floor and use it in a pinch? Raise hands!!

  39. Aww, I love brown tabbies!

  40. LOL @ pyrit! ..and i’m so glad that kitty has SAVED US ALL !!..i just hope that wasn’t the last roll……

  41. Hand raised…

  42. Leslie (NTA) says:

    @ Ewwww:
    Second hand raised. (Blushing, tho’ )

  43. I think it’s wonderful of this brave, loyal kitty to throw herself on the potentially lethal TP and save her owner.

  44. I love the wistful look on the kitty’s face as he remembers the girl that got away in pic 4.

  45. well, technically it would be an onomatopoeia, not a verb. still cute though.

  46. I hate to be a nuffer-I never thought I’d be one, BUT…toilet paper is toxic for cats- I hope the owner stopped this before the cat ingested any. 🙂

  47. I love the last picture most…the feigned nonchalance tickles me.

  48. GIGGLE 😀 Get that TP, kitty 😀 Get it 😀 GIGGLE 😀

  49. berthaservant says:

    ex-cellent, ntmtom (ruffling fingers mr. burns style)

  50. BOTH hands raised ! I can’t even keep T.P. out in the open . It must be in a cabinet out of sight. We won’t even discuss what mayhem takes place when it’s on a holder….. DAILY!
    Let me tell you all, one or more rolls a day gets really expensive especially with five cats. My “Knucklehead” (yes, that’s really his name, my hubby likes motorcycles)
    is the worst offender & usually the ring leader.

  51. My cats leave the TP alone it’s the $800 sofa covers they go for, even though there’s a scratching post , my cedar greenhouse and numerous trees.

  52. “It was the girl who warned me — you should never have trusted her…”

    Indeed, what girl can resists a cute kitty?

  53. Hand raised! Especially if thats the last roll!
    My kitty will scratch the corner of the wall when I ignore him. He likes me to chase him.

    Inspector 12 says its not soft enough!

  54. I would pile it on top of him!

  55. Decimate, cerebrate, dance to the mu-sic!

    Mr. Whipple was a cat hoarder, (sshh, it was his last secret)

  56. I can always tell when my cat has torn up the toilet paper becuase she comes out with little bits of it stuck to her lips.

  57. What GORGEOUS stripes!

  58. oh Charmin. So charmin’

  59. Wow good job. No wonder you escaped from everywhere. What a touch somebody you are.

  60. Give it to ’em, you wascawy wabbit, you!—-(EXCELLENT STORY !@__@!)

  61. Silent Meow says:

    Oh, kitteh. Do tell us. What has Charmin done to you to deserve such a tragic and gruesome fate?

  62. Kim…they don’t eat it, they bit it and then they sleep on it.

  63. @January:
    Maybe your kitteh doesn’t eat TP, Mr. Picky does. He tears off little tiny bits and swallows them, and then he frows it up as if it were a hairball. Dees-gussstinggg! And then, of course, Mom has to get up and clean all the little shreds and the tphairball away.