Your Guide to Evil Marketing

Lesson Twelve: When confronted with a truly challenging sales assignment, such as a Ponzi scheme, or cans of chemical-laced swill, the savvy marketer will reach for his secret weapon: The cute puppy.


Simply by placing a cute puppy in your advertisement, you will reduce the brains of your readers to a quivering puddle of Tapioca, rendering them helpless to your diabolical suggestions.


Musssssst … haaaave … Pepsi, … Amber S.



  1. Awwww, I can just smell the puppeh breff from here! *SNIFFS*

  2. “All I wanted was a Pepsi, and you wouldn’t give it to me!”

  3. SCREW the Pepsi, gimme the damn puppy!

  4. Yes, the puppy doesn’t rot your teeth and give you icky metabolic disease.

    However, it would be nice to have a six pack of puppies…..

  5. Right on Katrina! Mo’ puppies! 😀

  6. I shudder to think what I’d drink if it came with an orange kitten.

  7. I will buy you, cute Pupsi! Though you look too sweet to be diet.

  8. Von Zeppelin says:

    What a great looking puppy! Uh. . . what was that stuff in the can you were selling?

  9. Sold! And I don’t drink any soda, let alone the vileness that is diet soda. *Collects puppy and can and walks away*

  10. **must have pupsi**must buy**must drink**must SNORG!!!** Thank God they are not using lil pupsters to sell cigs!!

  11. @ ashagato, “are you trying to say I’M crazy???”

  12. How very true, many a can of chemically laced swill, coloured with dubious E numbers, made by enslaved workers in a filthy factory have I swallowed. Just because they used a cutesy animal to advertise it.

  13. [logs onto etrade, buys stock in Pepsi]

  14. Bawwww this reminds me of my baby bichon when she was this small!!

  15. Leslie (NTA) says:

    “What, NTM? You say you want me to purchase cans of chemical-la…D’awwww!!!! Wookit da puppie-wuppie….now, what was that you were…sure, no problem, whatever, just gimme tha puppie-wuppie…”

  16. Oh my god – thats my puppy.. well a spitting image.. he is 10 weeks old and a Bichon too… cute but the devil

  17. I suddenly want… a quivering puddle of tapioca…

  18. Pepsi! More burp per slurp!

    Or, Pupsi! More nip per sip!

    [I think that second one might confuse people. 😆 – Ed.]

  19. “pupsi”-oh, that is so ‘Peep’ I can’t stand it!

    This little pupper-snupper is just so cuuuute! Does he come in the two-litter size, too? Come on, Pyrit, you should have gotten that one! Its OK, I still love you to bits…..kibbles and bits…..

  20. Is it wrong that I am drinking a Diet Pepsi right now? (I was drinking it all along, now the cute has confirmed that it was the right choice. Whew)

  21. Doggie tongue day! Pink sliver in the second picture has made my entrails explode from the cute. Ouchies, that stings.

  22. TrixandSam says:

    Forget the pepsi, give me that Bichon! I’ve raised 3 from puppyhood and I still get stoopid over how meltingly cute they are. *sigh*

  23. metaskins- nothing wrong with it, you just might get ‘Pupsi’ all over your screen-don’t say I didn’t warn you!!!!!! Goodness knows what could come next – one panda and fhhhth-and you’re runnin’ for the paper towel! Your fellow Peep, K.

  24. Katrina – Good puns, you make. (bowing)
    Don’t get me started, unless you are a glutton for PUNishment.

    Ed. – Confusing! Ah yes, MWHID.

  25. “Oh… I’m a pupsi, He’s a pupsi, She’s a pupsi, We’re a pupsi, Wouldn’t you like to be a pupsi too!”

  26. AuntieMame says:

    I always lick my Pepsi can before I drink it, too, puppers. But my tongue’s not nearly that cute.

    (DIET soft drinks, though??? Pleh!)

  27. I don’t drink soda, but this might persuade me.

    *grabs sweet little puppy and runs*

  28. Some soft drinks are going back to putting real sugar.
    Yes, Blondie. I would.

  29. If I’m going to put nutritionally-deficient stuff in my system, it’ll be the real thing, not some ‘diet’ imposter. (Bleh.)

    That pup’s marketing strategy explains some of my recent questionable purchases, though! (What was he selling, again?)

  30. Tongue-hance please!?!

  31. Actually, I prefer Diet Coke. Or better yet Coke Zero. I think they…. um… I think… What was I saying? I don’t know, but for some reason, I’m jonesin’ for some Diet Pepsi.

  32. I’ll take a case of whatever this cute pupster is selling! Oh the coal-black nose and eyes! I love eeet!

  33. Just be careful that Pepsi can is not ice cold, or puppeh tongue will stick to it!

  34. Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, no pepsi, pupsi! Cheeseburger, cheesburger, chips, pupsi!

  35. I will buy anything that face is selling. 😀

  36. Tractatus Blorpico-Philosophicus says:

    NOMTOM, I believe you meant “his or her secret weapon”. I know plenty of evil female marketers!

  37. Okay, am I missing something….where are Lessons 1-11 of Evil Marketing…or do they not include cuteness as a factor?

  38. Leslie (NTA) says:

    @ Molls: A similar thought crossed my mind in seeing this pic & its hovertext. However, my evil mind went one step further with it, to “I can has cheezburger?”
    (how soon before Theo gets miffed about that site’s being mentioned here?)

    @ T-B: I concur with your advice.
    This same thought of yours went through my mind also when I first reviewed both the pic & captioning ….but I wasn’t brave or PC enough to make mention/ gender inclusivity …

  39. **Mindless Automaton voice** Must have Diet Pepsi

  40. The best marketing images are puppys or any cute animal and babies lol
    love the pics

  41. @Molls: LMAO! The Billy Goat ROCKS! Oh, and so does that SNL episode… 🙂

  42. Puppy tongue! *dies*

  43. Are you calling Britney and Cindy Crawford dogs?

    I guess bitches can sell anything… ; )

  44. Mary (the first) says:

    No one has commented that the pup appears to be sitting on a diner counter or table ..or some such thing. He must have been a very good pup to get set up on the counter with a treat.

  45. @ NT Mel: Yes! Thanks for picking it up ;D

  46. Love puppeh. Want puppeh.

    PS- MARU book now out in JP, speaking of evil marketing. HOW do I get eet in the States??

  47. kibblenibble says:

    Yes, Holy Cuteness, I think rule 14 applies here. 🙂

  48. Rich Fader says:

    “Coca-Cola hates puppies.”

  49. berthaservant says:

    leeck leeck leeck

  50. @Leslie (NTA): you can haz cheeseurger but what you want to drink? C’monc’monc’mon we ain’t got all day!

  51. This is not something I think other than dupe flat ad

  52. If it was an orange kitten, then I would buy the entire stock. But a puppy…a kitten is cuter.

  53. I immediately went a bought a can of diet pepsi after viewing this post.

  54. I prefer Diet Coke myself !!

  55. What kind of dog is breed is the puppy????

  56. confidencehypnosis says:

    Now I want to drink a dog and take a can of Pepsi for a walk…wait…