Friday Haiku: Shell We Dance?

Turtle and stuffed fish
Can your haiku celebrate
Their forbidden love?


I give it six months, tops, Caroline D.



  1. This needs a new tag:
    Interspecies snorgling.
    I called it here, farts.

  2. You may think I’m slow
    But I know what real love is
    So kiss me you fool

  3. Get a room you two
    The world is not yet ready
    For forbidden love

  4. I love birdcage’s haiku!

    And I agree!

  5. Fishy, fishy love
    wants to be with you always
    am I just shellfish?

  6. Bleen!!!

    Oh and love the hovertext!!!

  7. Fish out of water
    Seeks amphibian love, long
    slow kisses a plus

  8. flying fish kisses
    non-mutant ninja turtle
    steals them on camera

  9. “you broke through my shell
    when you showed me the way of
    soft fuzzy feelings”

  10. Labramama says:

    When Lars is ready
    He will replace the sex fish
    With true turtle love

  11. Drab green earth turtle
    Colorful flying fish toy
    True love knows no bounds

  12. Dear, I gasp for breath
    at your slow gentle kisses
    Where’s the sea of love?

  13. Leslie (NTA) says:

    I appreciate all but Gizmo’s is my fave !!

  14. @ Gizmo — No matter where they go, they’ll always be living in a fishbowl.

  15. I love Friday Haiku!

    Is this turtle brazilian “Tigre D’água”? I have one too, I’ll send a picture.

  16. BeckyMonster says:

    Going straight to the gutter people! Please feel free to censor me at your leisure, I just can’t help myself today!

    Fish lips aquiver
    My shell is rock hard baby
    Let’s go get a room!

  17. MissKitty says:

    Turtle is in love.
    Cannot resist big red lips.
    “Now kiss me, you fool”

  18. All we need, baby,
    To make a _menage a trois:_
    The Squirrelizer!

  19. I thought I had successfully found a way to use a word that begins with “B” and ends with “LEEN” in my post without getting EDited, but alas ……even in a poetic context, een-blay is a dirty word …… (‘scuse my peeg latin).

  20. Turtle finds, sadly,
    Internet dating profile
    Not so accurate.

  21. Courtney S. says:

    To Labramama:

    Turtle buys love fish
    But “Some Assembly Required”
    Prevents naughtiness

  22. I see no flippers. Are you sure that’s not a tortoise?

  23. Labramama, that was a WIN.

  24. For those interested in Tortoise versus turtle
    here is a link
    Turtle Vs Tortoise

    but it looks like a turtle to me webbed feet with long claws
    streamlined shell

  25. Andi from NC says:

    Your fins enchant me
    I am a shell of a man
    Until you kiss me

  26. Pretty sure from life
    history and all that jazz
    Tis Painted Turtle

    (usta catch em in the river as a kid)

  27. Kiss me for luck, I
    Gotta go run a race with
    Disapproving Bun

  28. MissKitty says:

    Smooth Turtle has moves.
    “Hey, fishie babe… what’s yer sign?”
    “I’m a Pisces, duh.”

  29. The philosophy
    Of ha-tuna ma-turtle
    It means no worries

  30. You’ve lit up my life,
    Brought me out of my shell, I
    Love you heart and sole

  31. hey fish have you seen
    Disney’s “Lady and the Tramp” ?
    have a matzah ball

  32. bookmonstercats says:

    All brilliant.

    Haiku cannot top
    Teho’s hovertext, therefore
    I will not e’en* try

    (* poetic license – so keell me)

    [NTMTOM did this whole post, actually, including the hovertext – Ed.]

  33. Yertle and Cleo
    Superb breath control

    Now out of his shell
    Like a fish out of water
    Needing bicycle

    Interspecies diseasies:
    Think of the children!

  34. Feeshy feeshy lips
    I love your crocheted leepsteeck
    Ded of cute, I am

  35. Love Labramama’s Lars and the Real Girl reference!

  36. velveteen fishie
    I heard love can make toys real
    even turtle love

  37. A private kiss shared
    Brings turtle out of his shell
    Slow and steady wins

  38. I shall sneef your leeps
    hold your tail the other way
    for me to kees you

  39. @ Birdcage,
    onay oblempray

  40. That’s a Flying Fish.
    Let’s launch ourselves together;
    find love forever.

  41. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    Years of yearning done,
    This tidy, timid turtle
    Found the perfect plaice.

  42. maatnofret says:

    Not a haiku, but the picture reminded me of this:

  43. EDited again!!!!!!

    Oh, the mighty sting
    Of Teho’s editing sword
    Is felt by Birdcage …….

    [Hmm, I think I’ll leave this one alone. 😉 – Ed.]

  44. Is it just me, or
    Has there been a pattern in
    the Friday haikus:

    of inanimate object
    And small animal

    Not that there’s any-
    thing wrong with inter-species (?)
    love or anything

    But just pointing it
    out (If objects can be called
    a species that is)

  45. Birdcage – Trouble ensues. 😉

  46. wannadance says:

    one kiss forever.
    we will always have paris.
    alors, enfants … sob.

  47. my hard shell, your plush
    our love dare not speak its name
    from pillow to pond

  48. Fish so beautiful
    Turtle is good looking too
    Have ugly babies

  49. Cindy Guentherman says:

    Even turtle dreams
    bigeyed fish sweet rainbow kiss
    beyond ocean storms

  50. Andi from NC says:

    @MissKitty – bravo!

  51. Lipstick on a fish!
    Too much makeup all over,
    Shameless hussy fish!

  52. wannadance says:

    nomtom…well, okay, if you won’t marry the physical me, given that i am your gramma’s age and all cripped up,l will you at least allow me to marry yer BRAIN???

    that would so fill me…

    adoringly and belly hurting from the laffing,

  53. Mary (the first) says:

    If our love is wrong
    I don’t wanna be right…wait!!
    Isn’t that a song?

  54. Necking in the hall,
    Young lady, get back to band,
    Young man, to wood shop.

  55. Mary (the first) says:

    hold on there wannadance.. you have to get in line to marry Nomtom or any part of him.

  56. wannadance says:

    i was afraid of that, mary…

    just to tantilize you, i have actually MET him and chatted and HUGGED him and kissed him on the CHEEK, and he is all that…

    momtom, it’s our secret…but it made me long for bleeps in the time-space continuum…

    yer own dancer, sharing with mary and all else, i bet you don’t even realize….

  57. wannadance says:

    make that Nomtom, not momtom…

    blind with luv…

  58. wannadance says:

    wow, the haiku get better and better each week. mine are stalled with watts but the others, unbeatniked, are just supoib..

  59. You Peeps are clever
    My brain does not make Haikus
    So I enjoy Yours

  60. I enjoyed Wendy’s.
    Turtle kisses are germy
    better that she’s fake?

  61. You’ve read the hiku
    Which one is the very best?
    Snappy hovertext!

  62. my turtle hero
    rescued me from infant bed
    kid tried to nom me

    fish escapes mobile
    went round and round to music
    i’m dizzy. kiss me!

    rainbow fish finds love
    with hard shelled painted he-man
    kiss me my hero!

    our love illicit
    we secretly meet on sly
    nose rubs and snorgles

    my painted suitor
    i’ve waited to kiss your lips
    they taste like chicken!

    hard on the outside
    green, warm, soft on the inside
    a perfect love soup

    multi colored fish
    longing for you now sated
    your red lips are hot

    your colored dorsal
    your sexy wings of deep blue
    fly over and kiss me!

    no one understands
    our inter-species affair
    breaks no natural rules

    put that camera down!
    banish the paparazzi
    our love is private

  63. It’s a better match than Bennifer was!

  64. OMG!! I have that exact stuffed fish!!!

  65. thinkin' that ura says:


    Kiss a fish? That’s gross.
    Oh my god a movie scene?
    No way in the world.

    Pardon, what was that?
    Did you say a million bucks?
    I could buy a house.

    Maybe…. oh all right.
    Lights, camera, action, *smooch*
    Hey, this is a plush!

  66. Turtle and stuffed fish
    Meet and greet each other with
    Eskimo kisses.

  67. I like Wendy’s one, MissKitty’s one and thinkin’ that uracak’s one. But ‘thinkin’ that uracak’, isn’t your name rude? I mean that uoryay amenay siay ‘inkintha hathay ouya reay a ckcaay’ and ‘ckcay’ ansmeay ‘hitsay’. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought it’s a bit mean. And is ‘bleen’ rude? I didn’t even know it had a meaning.
    I like thinkin’s one because it isn’t about sloppy romance like everybody else’s. I like to see some creativity. So here’s my haiku:

    Crimes against nature
    Such as turtle kissing fish
    Really freaks me out

    [You think maybe it’s going to escape me that you ARE “Thinkin’ that ura-” (etc.) ? Are you familiar with the term “Fraudience“? Cut it out. – Ed.]

  68. bookmonstercats says:

    Sorry, NOMTOM. At least “Teho” and “NOMTOM” have the same number of syllables, so the haiku what I wrote is not ruined (wot a shame that would have been – not). @wannadance, I am so jealous. I want to marry all the Cute Overlords, or even a little part of them. I’m sure Mr and the Missuses Cute Overlords will all understand…..

  69. Have you ever felt
    A kiss from a fishy
    On a moonlit night?

  70. But only 3 months if she cooks

  71. she was ripe, but he
    knew that slow and steady wins
    the race to first base.