Friday Haiku: Shell We Dance?

by Not That Mike The Other Mike on August 21, 2009

Turtle and stuffed fish
Can your haiku celebrate
Their forbidden love?

IMG_0334

I give it six months, tops, Caroline D.

{ 71 comments }

1 Birdcage 08.21.09 at 6:10 am

This needs a new tag:
Interspecies snorgling.
I called it here, farts.

2 edward 08.21.09 at 6:29 am

You may think I’m slow
But I know what real love is
So kiss me you fool

3 gizmo 08.21.09 at 6:32 am

Get a room you two
The world is not yet ready
For forbidden love

4 Lucas 08.21.09 at 6:34 am

I love birdcage’s haiku!

And I agree!

5 Suzanne 08.21.09 at 6:36 am

Fishy, fishy love
wants to be with you always
am I just shellfish?

6 StormCat 08.21.09 at 6:41 am

Bleen!!!

Oh and love the hovertext!!!

7 Metz 08.21.09 at 6:46 am

Fish out of water
Seeks amphibian love, long
slow kisses a plus

8 Lexi 08.21.09 at 6:49 am

flying fish kisses
non-mutant ninja turtle
steals them on camera

9 thepetmuseum 08.21.09 at 6:51 am

“you broke through my shell
when you showed me the way of
soft fuzzy feelings”

10 Labramama 08.21.09 at 6:59 am

When Lars is ready
He will replace the sex fish
With true turtle love

11 MadameX 08.21.09 at 7:02 am

Drab green earth turtle
Colorful flying fish toy
True love knows no bounds

12 JB 08.21.09 at 7:08 am

Dear, I gasp for breath
at your slow gentle kisses
Where’s the sea of love?

13 Leslie (NTA) 08.21.09 at 7:12 am

I appreciate all but Gizmo’s is my fave !!

14 JB 08.21.09 at 7:17 am

@ Gizmo — No matter where they go, they’ll always be living in a fishbowl.

15 Flavia 08.21.09 at 7:17 am

I love Friday Haiku!

Is this turtle brazilian “Tigre D’água”? I have one too, I’ll send a picture.

16 BeckyMonster 08.21.09 at 7:23 am

Going straight to the gutter people! Please feel free to censor me at your leisure, I just can’t help myself today!

Fish lips aquiver
My shell is rock hard baby
Let’s go get a room!

17 MissKitty 08.21.09 at 7:33 am

Turtle is in love.
Cannot resist big red lips.
“Now kiss me, you fool”

18 Jessy 08.21.09 at 7:34 am

All we need, baby,
To make a _menage a trois:_
The Squirrelizer!

19 Birdcage 08.21.09 at 7:42 am

I thought I had successfully found a way to use a word that begins with “B” and ends with “LEEN” in my post without getting EDited, but alas ……even in a poetic context, een-blay is a dirty word …… (’scuse my peeg latin).

20 Wendy 08.21.09 at 7:51 am

Turtle finds, sadly,
Internet dating profile
Not so accurate.

21 Courtney S. 08.21.09 at 7:53 am

To Labramama:

Turtle buys love fish
But “Some Assembly Required”
Prevents naughtiness

22 unwesen 08.21.09 at 7:55 am

I see no flippers. Are you sure that’s not a tortoise?

23 thepetmuseum 08.21.09 at 7:58 am

Labramama, that was a WIN.

24 kittyadventures 08.21.09 at 8:03 am

For those interested in Tortoise versus turtle
here is a link
Turtle Vs Tortoise

but it looks like a turtle to me webbed feet with long claws
streamlined shell

25 Andi from NC 08.21.09 at 8:04 am

Your fins enchant me
I am a shell of a man
Until you kiss me

26 Metz 08.21.09 at 8:14 am

Pretty sure from life
history and all that jazz
Tis Painted Turtle

http://www.fishpondinfo.com/photos/reptiles/painteds/painted3.jpg
(usta catch em in the river as a kid)

27 Camille 08.21.09 at 8:21 am

Kiss me for luck, I
Gotta go run a race with
Disapproving Bun

28 MissKitty 08.21.09 at 8:22 am

Smooth Turtle has moves.
“Hey, fishie babe… what’s yer sign?”
“I’m a Pisces, duh.”

29 pyrit 08.21.09 at 8:31 am

The philosophy
Of ha-tuna ma-turtle
It means no worries

30 Sprock 08.21.09 at 8:31 am

You’ve lit up my life,
Brought me out of my shell, I
Love you heart and sole

31 Theo 08.21.09 at 8:33 am

hey fish have you seen
Disney’s “Lady and the Tramp” ?
have a matzah ball

32 bookmonstercats 08.21.09 at 8:37 am

All brilliant.

Haiku cannot top
Teho’s hovertext, therefore
I will not e’en* try

(* poetic license – so keell me)

[NTMTOM did this whole post, actually, including the hovertext - Ed.]

33 dub1 08.21.09 at 8:37 am

Yertle and Cleo
Kay-Eye-Ess-Ess-Eye-Ehn-Gee
Superb breath control

Now out of his shell
Like a fish out of water
Needing bicycle

Salmonella/ick
Interspecies diseasies:
Think of the children!

34 Estella 08.21.09 at 8:38 am

Feeshy feeshy lips
I love your crocheted leepsteeck
Ded of cute, I am

35 Emily 08.21.09 at 8:45 am

Love Labramama’s Lars and the Real Girl reference!

36 thorn 08.21.09 at 8:49 am

velveteen fishie
I heard love can make toys real
even turtle love

37 Trixie 08.21.09 at 9:21 am

A private kiss shared
Brings turtle out of his shell
Slow and steady wins

38 Kiragirl 08.21.09 at 9:23 am

I shall sneef your leeps
hold your tail the other way
for me to kees you

39 Kiragirl 08.21.09 at 9:25 am

@ Birdcage,
onay oblempray

40 Kiragirl 08.21.09 at 9:26 am

That’s a Flying Fish.
Let’s launch ourselves together;
find love forever.

41 Argyle Donkeypants 08.21.09 at 9:27 am

Years of yearning done,
This tidy, timid turtle
Found the perfect plaice.

42 maatnofret 08.21.09 at 9:36 am

Not a haiku, but the picture reminded me of this:

http://www.icdc.com/~roadkill/silverstein/turtle.html

43 Birdcage 08.21.09 at 10:00 am

EDited again!!!!!!

Oh, the mighty sting
Of Teho’s editing sword
Is felt by Birdcage …….

[Hmm, I think I'll leave this one alone. ;) - Ed.]

44 Anon 08.21.09 at 10:17 am

Is it just me, or
Has there been a pattern in
the Friday haikus:

Juxtaposition
of inanimate object
And small animal

Not that there’s any-
thing wrong with inter-species (?)
love or anything

But just pointing it
out (If objects can be called
a species that is)

45 pyrit 08.21.09 at 10:36 am

Birdcage – Trouble ensues. ;-)

46 wannadance 08.21.09 at 10:59 am

one kiss forever.
we will always have paris.
alors, enfants … sob.

47 sea 08.21.09 at 11:00 am

my hard shell, your plush
our love dare not speak its name
from pillow to pond

48 Casey 08.21.09 at 11:12 am

Fish so beautiful
Turtle is good looking too
Have ugly babies

49 Cindy Guentherman 08.21.09 at 11:15 am

Even turtle dreams
bigeyed fish sweet rainbow kiss
beyond ocean storms

50 Andi from NC 08.21.09 at 11:35 am

@MissKitty – bravo!

51 Theresa 08.21.09 at 11:40 am

Lipstick on a fish!
Too much makeup all over,
Shameless hussy fish!

52 wannadance 08.21.09 at 12:11 pm

nomtom…well, okay, if you won’t marry the physical me, given that i am your gramma’s age and all cripped up,l will you at least allow me to marry yer BRAIN???

that would so fill me…

adoringly and belly hurting from the laffing,
dancer

53 Mary (the first) 08.21.09 at 12:16 pm

If our love is wrong
I don’t wanna be right…wait!!
Isn’t that a song?

54 Theresa 08.21.09 at 12:18 pm

Necking in the hall,
Young lady, get back to band,
Young man, to wood shop.

55 Mary (the first) 08.21.09 at 12:19 pm

hold on there wannadance.. you have to get in line to marry Nomtom or any part of him.

56 wannadance 08.21.09 at 12:50 pm

i was afraid of that, mary…

just to tantilize you, i have actually MET him and chatted and HUGGED him and kissed him on the CHEEK, and he is all that…

momtom, it’s our secret…but it made me long for bleeps in the time-space continuum…

yer own dancer, sharing with mary and all else, i bet you don’t even realize….

57 wannadance 08.21.09 at 12:51 pm

make that Nomtom, not momtom…

blind with luv…

58 wannadance 08.21.09 at 1:09 pm

wow, the haiku get better and better each week. mine are stalled with watts but the others, unbeatniked, are just supoib..

59 KittyAdventures 08.21.09 at 1:19 pm

You Peeps are clever
My brain does not make Haikus
So I enjoy Yours

60 Lux 08.21.09 at 1:43 pm

I enjoyed Wendy’s.
Turtle kisses are germy
better that she’s fake?

61 LS 08.21.09 at 1:47 pm

You’ve read the hiku
Which one is the very best?
Snappy hovertext!

62 gillian 08.21.09 at 5:25 pm

my turtle hero
rescued me from infant bed
kid tried to nom me

fish escapes mobile
went round and round to music
i’m dizzy. kiss me!

rainbow fish finds love
with hard shelled painted he-man
kiss me my hero!

our love illicit
we secretly meet on sly
nose rubs and snorgles

my painted suitor
i’ve waited to kiss your lips
they taste like chicken!

hard on the outside
green, warm, soft on the inside
a perfect love soup

multi colored fish
longing for you now sated
your red lips are hot

your colored dorsal
your sexy wings of deep blue
fly over and kiss me!

no one understands
our inter-species affair
breaks no natural rules

put that camera down!
banish the paparazzi
our love is private

63 Cordelia 08.21.09 at 6:29 pm

It’s a better match than Bennifer was!

64 Lalaith 08.21.09 at 7:43 pm

OMG!! I have that exact stuffed fish!!!

65 thinkin' that ura 08.21.09 at 8:46 pm

Turtle:

Kiss a fish? That’s gross.
Oh my god a movie scene?
No way in the world.

Pardon, what was that?
Did you say a million bucks?
I could buy a house.

Maybe…. oh all right.
Lights, camera, action, *smooch*
Hey, this is a plush!

66 Diana 08.21.09 at 8:52 pm

Turtle and stuffed fish
Meet and greet each other with
Eskimo kisses.

67 nisielli 08.21.09 at 9:09 pm

I like Wendy’s one, MissKitty’s one and thinkin’ that uracak’s one. But ‘thinkin’ that uracak’, isn’t your name rude? I mean that uoryay amenay siay ‘inkintha hathay ouya reay a ckcaay’ and ‘ckcay’ ansmeay ‘hitsay’. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought it’s a bit mean. And is ‘bleen’ rude? I didn’t even know it had a meaning.
I like thinkin’s one because it isn’t about sloppy romance like everybody else’s. I like to see some creativity. So here’s my haiku:

Crimes against nature
Such as turtle kissing fish
Really freaks me out

[You think maybe it's going to escape me that you ARE "Thinkin' that ura-" (etc.) ? Are you familiar with the term "Fraudience"? Cut it out. - Ed.]

68 bookmonstercats 08.23.09 at 9:34 am

Sorry, NOMTOM. At least “Teho” and “NOMTOM” have the same number of syllables, so the haiku what I wrote is not ruined (wot a shame that would have been – not). @wannadance, I am so jealous. I want to marry all the Cute Overlords, or even a little part of them. I’m sure Mr and the Missuses Cute Overlords will all understand…..

69 anastasia 08.23.09 at 2:09 pm

Have you ever felt
A kiss from a fishy
On a moonlit night?

70 Dave 08.24.09 at 11:01 am

But only 3 months if she cooks

71 Leanna 08.24.09 at 11:49 am

she was ripe, but he
knew that slow and steady wins
the race to first base.

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