The Cat at the Fax

The Cat at the Fax sighed a pendulous sigh,
“If my fax won’t go through, I think I’ll just die!
This job is a bore, this task unbelievable,
There’s just one fax for all Accounts Receivable!”

“I’m definitely not having lots of fun that is funny!
The paper keeps crinkling!  The toner is runny!
‘PC Load Letter’?! What the #$@& does that mean?
I can’t comprehend this infernal machine!”

“And when it does work, it spits pages of spam,
For MLM seminars staged by Sam I Am.
If I didn’t need this job, I know just what I’d do,
I’d teach this contraption thing one or thing two!”

adorable kitteh wilber faxing

With apologies to Dr. Seuss, Mike Judge, Office Max, sender-inner Kat T. and anyone who likes poetry in general.

Comments

  1. Don’t forget Bruce Willis and Cybil Shepard. ;)

  2. Dr. Seuss says:

    Apologies accepted, I suppose… ;-)

  3. “Apologies, WHY?” I wonder aloud.
    Of this writing, my dear, you ought to be proud.
    There are many of us who know very well
    How some office machines like to make our lives … difficult.

  4. MamaDawn says:

    Give me the fax and nothing but the fax, Cat.

  5. In this post-email era, a lowly beige fax
    Is barely more welcome than property tax.
    I scan .PDFs, I text & I Tweet,
    And I jump on these relics with both of my feet.

  6. Hovertext win!!

  7. best NTMTOM post EVER!

  8. skippymom says:

    Excellent, but I still think The Prickly Kid was Mike’s best work.

  9. That is funny. No apologies required.

  10. victoreia says:

    Kitty, I feel your pain!

    @Holy Cuteness: I think it’s the combination of the funny noises and the movement. My furballs are fascinated by anything involving an active printer…..[orange head staring intently as the paper slowly comes out....]

  11. Maybe this cat is waiting for the fax on one of those fabulous Bermuda vacation deals to come in…

  12. tracylee says:

    “‘PC Load Letter’?! What the #$@& does that mean?”

    I seriously guffawed. srsly.

    also:
    “Just the fax, ma’am.” a la Joe Friday

  13. kibblenibble says:

    My George loves the printer. Even if he’s sound asleep at the other end of the house, he comes running if he hears me turn it on. He doesn’t attack the paper, he just watches it very carefully. He loves it so much…I guess I should print things out more often.

  14. Brilliant, NTMTOM, just brilliant!

  15. Mary (the first) says:

    OMG this made me LOL almost (have to stifle because I’m at work). Im tempted to print it out and post by our fax machine. It could give a laugh to anyone crazy enough to try to fax something. But I do agree that the Prickly Kid is Mike’s #1 so far.. this is a not distant second though. Srsly..

  16. The fax may be the least of your worries
    though scams and deli menus come in flurries
    that machine lurking nearby
    with leery eyes I do spy
    along with the fax tender
    who’s a sekrit big spender
    are teh most likely sourcers
    of all those credit card orders
    appearing on your statement each month
    “who ordered a safari mouse hunt?”

  17. AuntieMame says:

    I’m still giggling like an idiot, over both ‘PC Load Letter’?! What the #$@& does that mean?’ AND ‘How some office machines like to make our lives … difficult.’

    Bwahahaha! :D

  18. this is too funny! ….. btw, does anyone (“Ed.” perhaps) have the link to NOMTOM’s prickly kid post? i didn’t start lurking till recently ^o^

  19. AuntieMame says:

    Here you are, barbara:

    http://cuteoverload.com/2008/12/17/hedge-in-hat/

    [Ooh, nicely done, especially seeing as our built-in search totally fails. :evil: I got it too, but I had to use regular Google. - Ed.]

  20. the bug man says:

    The poem (and hovertext!) made me guffaw some,
    And the commenters then just continued the awesome.

    (Cat in the) Hat tips to NTMTOM, Theo, Miss Tara, Mama Dawn, etc. May there be wockets in all of your pockets.

  21. Cordelia says:

    Absolute and total brilliance!! Adorable and hilarious on one post! :D

  22. Cordelia says:

    *in* not on – woops!

  23. Hey! I sent you a pic of my cat at the printer and you didn’t publish it :_( *cries*

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/23211948@N00/?saved=1

  24. Mary (the first) says:

    Bwaaa hahaha came in one more time for a laugh.. re-read the Prickly Kid.. can now leave work laughing instead of ..

  25. NTMTOM – I almost peed myself. TOO FUNNY.

  26. *le sigh*

    I love you NTMTOM

  27. @AuntieMame: shanks!!! and imma have to agree, this was too funny, but the prickly kid post is a classic!

  28. NTMTOM – you regularly outdo yourself. That poem was a thing of beauty.

  29. Since AuntieM beat me to the Prickly Kid URL, here’s a couple of bonus episodes of Benson Hedges, Private Eye. [Part 1] [Part 2]

  30. Leslie (NTA) says:

    @NTMTOM:

    THIS is the loveliest possible antidote to our ungrateful Pissing & Moaning uber the lengthy caption on the item from last week. We hereby retrieve our ungratitude.

    (I’m sure there’s a more-elegant phrasing avail, but I’m just uberwhelmed by NTMTOM’s creativity & feeling myself stifled…so this’ll have to do…)

  31. As a former English teacher, I deem thee brilliant NTMTOM!

  32. I got nothin’ to add. This post is awesome. I am in awe.

  33. “pendulous sigh”. This poem comes out swinging. And I liked the imagery of spitting spam. Oh yes, and the clever Seuss wordplay.

    Apologise? What? I can’t hear you for all the applause!

    So, has cats ‘n racks
    Been axed
    By cats ‘n fax?

    [Nuh-uh, stop that thought, right in its tracks - Ed.]

  34. GIGGLE :D That is one fax that will require bribing the kitty with treats in order to get it back in one piece :D

  35. Miss Tara – Lovely! You have a quick wit!

  36. awesome, except for the scansion…

  37. Walkinge says:

    PC Load Letter – love it! ;-)

  38. “We hate iambic pentameter!”

    Awww, a tuxie. Gotta love a tuxie.

  39. Cats and faxes what more could you want for!!LOL!

  40. Meg’s wit and sense of humor is what sets this site apart from countless other “pictures of cute animals” websites out there. Srsly.

    Yay!

  41. Cutest paper jam ever!

  42. AuntieMame says:

    I found it by clicking “hedgehog” in the tag cloud at upper left. I never have any success using search, either. :(

  43. Thing 1 and Thing 2 says:

    The reason cats like office equipment is they like the warmth that they generate.

  44. ok so…..I totally just hung this up in my office. I am an accounts receivable specialist…I have to share my fax machine, and it seems to never work right unless I’m getting useless faxes for trips to the bahamas….I love the hovertext NTMTOM!

  45. Birdcage says:

    And deep in the interwebs, some people say,
    if you google long enough you can still find, today,
    where the Prickly Kid once stood,
    just as long as it could,
    before NOMTOM bested the Kid away.

  46. metsakins says:

    In my office I’m at peace with the fax
    I work in an office that does prepare tax
    In the conference room there is a vicious thing hiding
    It does the work at the devil’s biding
    A stapler that’s supposed to staple through an inch
    And sometimes I have to use it in a pinch
    It eats documents, the corners get shredded
    And that is why that thing is dreaded.
    So NTMTOM would not complain of the fax
    If he worked in an office that does prepare tax!

  47. FINALLY I know why the cover to my TPS report has not been received by anyone! I faxed it in, per the memo, and still am hearing from everyone that it was not received.

  48. metsakins says:

    Saffron, I heard you had a little trouble with your TPS report.

  49. I heart NTMTOM. Man, you are seriously talented.

  50. Oh, grand and glorious chroniclers of all that is Qte, when I was on vacation you posted a picture of a tortoise eating a carrot cake or a cake in the shape of a carrot, I saw it the evening I returned and it had something like 243 comments. I saved it for the morning. “Now I canna find it Captain!” (In my best anxiety-ridden Scotty voice). Wa hoppen to the toitle? Could you see your way clear to helping me find it, old chap?

    Saffron, I get your PS Reports but mistake, but they are so darned entertaining that I just read ‘em. Lovely sketches, too. Lovely calligraphy, too. (snerk*)

  51. Birdcage says:

    Here is the post that had the turtle:

    http://cuteoverload.com/2009/07/30/happy-birthday-meg

  52. I love the kiitttyy. Too cute.

    This poem is perfect for our old printer that keeps acting up. Hysterical!

  53. NTMTOM, are you married?

  54. Kristabelle says:

    Excellent work, NOMTOM!

  55. So cute!!! My cats like to sit near all of my electronics too…the computer, the tv, the vcr, etc. Gotta love sillly kitties :-)

  56. I wish there was a way that I could print out a couple of these, without all the other stuff attached, I love this, and also the Prickly Pete one, too. I would hang this one above the fax, and Pete would be sharing his cube with me.

  57. And by “Pete” I meant “kid”.

  58. Metsakins LOL…

  59. melinda Click on the picture itself and you go to a jpg so all you get is the picture, when you print.

  60. Pamalama says:

    @ AuntieMame: YEAH why is that? It never works. EVARRR! :(

  61. News cat.... says:

    This just in……hang on there’s more.

  62. Melinda, I highlighted just the story and the picture, right-clicked, copied and pasted into Word. Voila!

  63. Melinda,

    I could fax it to you. ; )

  64. I’m currently stocking up on pet supplies in anticipation of arrival of my cat overloads next week. Thanks to this post, I now know what’s missing on my list – a plotter. Ever seen a plotter in action, like rendering a CAD drawing of something very big and intricate? The speed and precision are just incredible, I can watch it all day.

    /love the poem NTMTOM.

  65. Leslie (NTA) says:

    @ Katrina —
    From the ForWhatIt’sWorth Dept.

    I applied my (supposed) MLS research/ reference skillz & attempted to locate yer turtle query …..for about 25 min (yeah, it was somewhat punctuated w/ delays due to “Oh NO, I didn’t see THAT cute pic when it posted…”)…….& somehow, I cuddna’ find i’ , either??? Could it have been a Hedgie?? I do somewhat remember a kritter w/ a slice of Kake & all …& looked through July & also through March (one of my searches ref’d to a March selection but then the connection said it was a dead link, when I clecked on it) …

    So the Librariologists have attempted to intervene & (at least this one) was unable to produce …..Solly, Cholly !!!!

  66. Leslie (NTA) says:

    oops — proofreading & computer glitch; when I attempted to post my comment the computer world insisted 2x that it was a dup comment …..so I wasn’t as stringent w/ my proofreading as I normally try to be…I meant to say
    “CLICKED” on it …….
    Carry on (CrStillsNash ref, ennyone?)

    [...my wayward son! (Kansas riposte) - Ed.]

  67. Birdcage Thanks so much for the link. I read every comment and then commented. I hope Meg reads them all. ‘Belated’ is better than ‘never’, I hope.

    Leslie (NTA), thank you for looking, my Peepage! Birdcage has somehow defied all laws of Na-ture and found it for us! LOOK! It turns out to the Meg’s Birthday picture with lots of pictures of which the toikle was one. I love that you tried so hard, though. Thank you. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young to you, too!

  68. Should I send for IT, should I send for the cops,
    Should I send for the Navy or Army,
    When the outputting tray of my *black and white* printer
    Contains a vivid orange marmie?

    NOMTOM, you are a catfax poetry god.

  69. Leslie (NTA) says:

    @ Katrina: Atcher soi-vice, mum !!

    @ Ed:
    Yew R Klever….I nevair would have made the segue from CSN to Kansas. But now that yew’ve done it, it seems *SO* obvy & so fun !!

  70. I did a double take- looks so much like my missing cat! She loved machines too. Anyone has seen one like this with a short tail in Wisconsin?