Today’s haiku prompt:
Silly surgeon sans scalpel
Appealing? Then write
Friday Haiku: Smooth Operator
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{ 226 comments }
LMAO!!!!! That’s toooo funny!
Zee tasty morsel
From your belly I shall pluck
Dessert will be friends!
My heart bleeds
for the dead banana
and the fear that has overtaken
his survivors.
yellow banana,
green parakeet, red pecker,
the viewers are shocked
It’s so horrible!
He was so sweet, but now he’s
Just a birdie’s snack!
this shit’s bananas!
killing an innocent fruit-
seemingly, with glee.
Hold me closer Frank
The bird may come for us next
keep your eyes peeled (dear)!
Ouch…the pun!
The person who made
This redonk banana scene
Has too much free time…
Its kind of morbid
Yet also hilarious
The birdie loves guts!
we’re in a pickle!
that creature shows no mercy!
paul is dead. oh, noooeeesss!
One of the bunch falls,
Skinned and gutted by vegan,
His appeal fruitless.
wish i could, like bird,
gut stupid ref’rences to
underwood’s website
great. now i feel bad for the bananas.
“Murder!”, they yell-owed
Luckily, there’s a cop-per
Too bad he’s hammered.
Sharpies do wonders
For personification.
Meanwhile, om nom nom.
I would like to buy a comma after “bad”.
murderous parrot
oblivious to carnage
nibbles on fruit guts
Banana parents
worry about Chiquita.
Doc looks like a quack.
This is hilarious.
Appendectomy
Encountered complications
Did not go as planned
Don’t just stand there nurse!
Help mmmpf me mmmpf remove his
appendix, mmmpf mmmpf.
green pretty parrot
enjoys lucious bananas
the fruit is worried
ZOMB! BRINNANN Great Minds
And all that jazz is so true!
The power we hold!
Not just a routine
Bananappendectomy
With bird brain surgeon
All that hysterical imagery and an Operations joke? Only Mike.
Patris rocks my world.
Bananappendectomy?
That’s effing brilliant.
ouch banana guts
it is like a saw movie
but cute and birdy
Metz, lets haz puddingks!
Time stamp is even the same!
*High-five* *puddin-splort*
The horrors of Sam
being drawn and quartered! Oh,
the bananity!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (gasp) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (shedding tears) OMG, I laughed so hard, my haiku circuits are fried.
Bananity and
Bananappendectomy?
Someone call Webster’s!
Bow we must Brinnann
to Patris’ brill play on words
So cleverly used
tesstricks plays well with
word tricks too, humbled am I
whilst L-O-L-ing
You, Metz, and Brinann
Deserve inspriation credit
For appendix thing
A vegan’s nightmare:
A banana with a face!
Now what will they eat?!
This is just to say
I have eaten
your friend
who was on
the kitchen table
and who
you were probably
planning to take
to breakfast
Forgive me
He was delicious
so sweet
and so scared.
[So much depends upon a dead peelbarrow... - Ed.]
It Came From The Cage
Now showing at a Regal
Cinema near you!
Sarah M <3 <3 <3
A great tribute to one of my favourite pomes.
Sarah M,
Marry me? (well not really, but that was excellent.)
Patris
This movie is not
at all what I had expected.
It’s kinda mushy.
Marriage proposals,
Movie rights, medical terms…
This haiku thread rocks!
patris – do you have da wing?
Aw, thanks Patris, but I am already become betrothed to another.
But whenever I see a mutilated banana, I shall think of you and sigh.
Pressing F5 key
Repeatedly, hoping for
New haiku updates.
I’ve got an earworm:
Fifteen seconds of Sade’s
“Smooth Operator”
Smooth Operator
Smoo-ooth Operato-or
Smooth Operator…
Ah, the Princess Bride –
Quotes that survive the ages,
And never get old.
Matter of debate
I’m a Princess Bride fan too
Overexposure
Oh noes poor Teho!
Who has exposed themselves to
Frighten you away?!
What is that platform
Hammered from copper sheeting
Fruity killing floor
Pulp picking parrot
on a bananarampage!
Who would peelieve this?
I don’t know, Theo.
Me, I see linoleum
in a reddish tone.
A giant orange
Basketball, or a teeny
Bird and bananas?
“No more rhyming now,
I mean it!” “Anybody
want a peanut?” “Dyargh!”
I want to peelieve
Dark and grotesque mysteries
The truth is out there
You should all be bananned for the terrible puns! Except for they’re also great.
Parrot Communion:
Take and eat, this is my flesh,
And it’s delicious.
All the donut cops
Say: Walk like an Egyptian
Bananarama
Evil ring-necked bird
1500 p.s.i.
Banana man down.
Red linoleum?
Bah! More like a banana
Creme-atoreum.
Pundemonium
Runs rampant among the peeps
With no end in sight.
(“…Meanwhile, om nom nom.”)
OMG Theo
I think that’s the best pun yet!
Teho FTW!
Five, seven, and five.
It’s my new mental rhythm.
I think I’m broken.
Perhaps this parrot
can help. I wonder if he
does lobotomies?
My brain is mushy,
not unlike a banana.
Parrot will love it.
[Here's what you do now:
- Ed.]
[Call a department meeting.
[Where to you work, Cath?
Parrutopia is
full of bananas ba-
nanas bananas
Under the weather?
Doc McSquawkerson cares not,
He’s out to lunch…next?
What are you doing??
‘Oh trust me, I’m a doctor’
He’s already dead!
What, no rating thumbs?
They have gone; I am not sad.
In their place: cute ‘keet!!!!!
Orange plus parrot
equals carrot. Then, you’re in
bunderland. Hooray!
Stephen King’s latest,
Little Pet Shop of Horrors,
disappointed me.
I guess you could say
it wasn’t quite what it was
crack-ered up to be.
i have made this my new computer wallpaper!
[...a list of umpty-zillion sloppy haikus?
- Ed.]
Ed., I’m a student.
Dissertation in Haiku?
Committee says “nyerrhe!”
Tune in Next Time on
Law & Order: Fruit Basket
Detective noms clues
Agent Dale Swooper
Investigates in Twin Beaks
Laura Peeler died
Pyrit’s pun slays me.
Snorted coffee from my nose.
No sense posting mine.
@Cath — hmm, that’s borderline… some would say “Nyerrhe” has only one syllable, while others can drag it out to n syllables. Especially if you roll the RRRR, much like an irritated housecat.
And now back to our
Regularly scheduled
Friday haiku thread
This grim photograph
Was simply far too orange
For a banana
Color correction
Parrotchopped and Photoshopped
Click for old version
Technically, Theo
we should be counting morae,
and not syllables.
A discussion of
how many there are in “nyerrhe”
could be my thesis.
(Un)fortunately
I chose to research syntax,
not phonology.
[...Nor HTML.
[Don't worry, I got yer back.
[Wikipedia! - Ed.]
The bird stalks its prey
Eagerly, the feast begins
The screams are ignored
Parrot Surgeon sez
To Theo I thank you sir
you light up my life
It’s just another
manic punday… again, by
Bananarama
Darn it, I forgot
to close my hyperlink.
Theo, can you help?
This will teach me not
to embed links in comments
without diligence.
(So sorries…)
I hate bananas
So get down with your bad self
You fruit killing bird
Theo you are quick
you helped me even
before I could ask.
(Thanks)
OK, I give up. Now I’m doing 5-5-5. Time to sit back and read (haikus).
Puddin’ party planned?
I shall crash said sweet party
and bring the cool whip!
1) No outraged banana advocates, yet?
2) Let’s hope that Rich doesn’t show this photo of several available bananas, *NOT* for Winston’s enjoyment …to Le Winston.
@Leslie — well, in that case, at least the bird should be safe.
yeah, true — espec. judging from the recent exhibit of his *predator skillzzzz*…
(Winston, if you’re listening somehow, this is ALL IN FUN!! We still lubbz yor goofiness)
*nom nom nom nom*
*nom nom nom nom*
*nom nom nom nom*
…oh, sorry… I was just eating the rest of the bananas. ^__^
Oh THANK YOU for taking away the thumbs. They were extremely distracting. I’d find myself looking at the thumbs instead of the comments….
yay
fatal accident
gore is made more horrible
by scavenger noms
maybe, if you want to keep them up, put them really small at the corner of each post, or slightly faded at the far right corner….
Parrot peelgrimage
- or ees dees a parakeet
going bananas?
So much witty fun, so much kind intelligence.
I stand in awe of the Cute Community
I will save this link, and return for affirmation
when the world appears to be a hopeless heartless mess.
*bowing in grateful appreciation, bereft of haiku*
My colleagues think I’ve
gone nuts, counting with fingers
to five, seven, five
No need to go to
The mailbox to be frightened
By the doctor’s bill.
Mmmm. Now I’m in the mood for a banana daiquiri.
Lula Mae, me too.
So I try to wait until
No one is looking.
Cute parrot snacking
Or cold-blooded murderer?
Depends on your view
Bananautopsy
Reveals this fruit’s cause of death:
Death by punicide
Eviscerated!
What shall become of us now?
That thing craves more blood…
Doc Chirperson, it’s
Nanobyte technology,
Not banana bite.
Sharpie pen turns fruit
Into sentient beings
Now they can feel pain
Evisceration!
It’s my favorite way to
Go with the gut. Squaaaaawk!
You’re in med school now.
Banana up, residents;
Watch the autopsy.
Sad,
I
say
Sad
or
Cute,
that is the question!
you get a thumbs up
for taking away the thumbs
now let’s have pudding!
LOLOL at this picture. I love how the bird is giving the camera the one eye cock head stare. Like what?! You wanna piece of this?
…gnitoobeR !?od I did lleh eht tahW !drawkcab gnipyt s’spotpl ym ,doG ym hO
@Argyle Donkeypants #94
That is hilarious!
Gaaaaa! That was weird!
I’m laughing so hard
Almost failed to thank CO
For no haiku thumbs
@Jessy #103 – LMAO!! “Banana up…” genius.
“What did I do wrong?”
“We said HEALING, not PEELING”
“Well, waste not want not”
Bananarama,
(Keep yer ’80s girl bands straight)
Was not The Bangles.
5^^now8ing,
I’ve wanted to ask before, but felt too doofy. I’m in a rather “Idon’tcareifIseemdoofy” mood, and seeing as how there are no thumbs to make me feel insecure i’ll go ahead and ask:
What the heck does your name mean? How do you say it? Is it something like 5-*something*- No WAITING?
hopes ya don’t mind…
It’s been a curiousity of mine for months.
I just want to be able to sleep again…
Parrot says, “Hi! Squawk!”
Banana does not say, “Hi.”
Pigeon says, “Hi! Coo!”
Bananbul Lector ate
liver with fava
beans and a nice ChiANti!
Edited for syllabic pentameter:
Bananabul Lector ate
liver with fava
beans and a nice ChiANti!
Do ‘nanners feel pain
Being eaten from within
This bird doesn’t care
@Cath – omg, I didn’t know about the morae!! I even teach poetry (including haiku) & didn’t know! A thousand thanks!
Also, I submit another thumbs-up to the end of the thumb ratings.
PS – To a couple of peeps who referred to Sharpies, something I discovered in childhood is that if you use your fingernail to carve into a banana skin, as the banana ripens the incisions darken & go black, so that you can “write” or “draw” on bananas in abundance this way. I kind of assumed that’s what this pic was of – ?
Birdie torture time
Cubes of nanner so tasty
No clue of peril
Come, Mr. Sharpie
Man, please don’t peel banana
Parrot come and me
Wan’ go home. Day-O!
Day-O! Parrot come and me
Wan’ go home. Thank you.
It’s a cruel summer
Love in the first degree mur-
der, De Niro waits
Dr. Feathered Fiend
Tucks into the tummy tuck
More sugary surgery
My eclectus, Jack,
likes to do this with fruit too.
Kiwi scream the most
Ben and Nan are shocked-
a horrid hungry parrot
thinks their friend tastes good.
***
I regret to say
the procedure failed your son,
though he tastes quite fine.
PS: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA All of you!!!! Best thread in a long time, I’m laughing too hard to make a really good contribution.
@Tracatus — glad to hear my nerding out was not for naught
I haven’t ever tried to write moraic haiku yet. Seems like it would be hard. Might make a fun/cruel assignment/exercise/game to give your students.
@Kelsey – My name
May be too obscure. Up-marks
Are kittycat ears.
“Five cats, no waiting”
Was daughter’s party come-on
One summer. I loved it.
Now, without thumbs, I
too, risk to ask, Is my name
obnoxious to peeps?
5 cats no waiting
A delightful thought, indeed.
I have no problem.
O sliced banana
You should be the one top
Of the shredded tweet
sigh – … *I’ll* fix it:
O sliced banana
You should be the one on top
Of the shredded tweet
Five cats no waiting,
I think your name is quite cool.
No worries, I say.
The photo is pure genius!!!
sorry, no time for haiku
Good idea, Brinnan
Plus: it’s an honor to be
part of your haiku
Bananarama
Bangles, Prince, so long ago
Yep, I mixed that up
I won’t even dare
Attempt a haiku. CO
Peeps are much too good!
Temperance Brennan
is stumped. No bones! How will she
ever solve this one?
Special Agent Booth
swoops in with a solution:
Examine the stem.
5 cats no waiting,
Not only is name fun, it
Fits haiku, as well!
Eyes full of horror,
Banana turns to his wife,
“This is bad. Let’s split!”
Parrot has no clue
why his humans always laugh
when he eats ‘nanas.
Banana’s lament:
I should have known when
I saw that the surgeon looked
like Doctor Giggles.
Reference for those not in the know..
Five Cats- No Waiting
Thanks for your explanation,
That was very sweet
I’m done haiku-ing
I lack the patience you have…
Five-Seven-Five’s HARD!
_________________________
Your name makes perfect sense now. I totally get the kitty earses NOW. My old username (dif. website) used to be 3Ferrets4Me, and I thought THAT was clever. Not even close to the cleverness behind your name!
serial killer
parrot, revels in his murder
yellow fruits cower
whoops
i always mess it up
serial killer
parrot, revels in murder
yellow fruits cower
5^^no8ing – That’s the cool thing about screen names; creativity abounds and peeps are so accepting of them all.
Yay! No more thumbs!
This is the funniest pic I’ve seen on here!
At my house there is
Also five cats, no waiting
How sweet is that, eh?
Nanners look on, scared
What will become of their child
Polly is a doc?
But hey, no worries
Bird makes enough of a mess
Friday Pudding Time!
Beaten copper plate
Serves as surgeons op-table
Nurse, NURSE! Cracker please.
Parrot-assic park
Beasts seek out and hunt down prey
Innocent nanners
Banana slaughtered
Perpetrator described as
Red-beaked green giant
No kitteh this week
Can’t haiku bout silly fruit
Sven wants caturday
Pension haikus:
Save words in early lines
And add them in the last one
@Cath
Both Booth and Brennan
In the bird’s haiku, genius!
So unexpected
So many haiku
(Or is it really haikus?)
I look on in awe
Hold me I’m afraid!
Why didn’t they draw us legs?
Escape we have none.
Just one taste of flesh
gave Parrot hunger for more
Cannot eat just one.
A slippery slope
falling into haiku land
cannot stop myself
Does anyone else
see that floor like an orange?
I am hungry now.
That pic made me think
Fruits are people just like us
Banana rights now!
@Tractatus Blorpico-Philosophicus:
banana artist
thx for cool drawing idea
quite informative
@ Cindy:
Thanks!
“Examine the stem”
was a pretty weak finish.
Stumped, I just gave up.
What I really wanted
was to make a House haiku,
but that was too hard.
Maybe if I watched
less TV and read more books
I’d have less trouble.
Parakeet looks up,
“Why youz not add my fav’rite
ice cream and fudge sauce?”
‘House’ calls in the team:
Do you think we can kill it
with just one more test?
Psittacinus rex:
Banana sapiens’ most
fearsome predator.
Kiragirl: Bravo!
Tho’ I suppose “brava” is
more grammatical.
(Excellent synopsis of that House episode. You know the one. With the tests. And the seizures. And Cuddy.)
Let’s stop the vegans
Bananas have feelings too!
Our cry went unheard
Thanks kind CO peeps!
Insecurities surfaced;
Thumbs made me nervous.
@pyrit – I, too love le nom de screene. Yours is one o’ my favorites (tho I somehow thought you were a guy), as is GingerBean’s, and Noelegy’s, and kibblenibble, and and SoCalSis, and ArgyleDonkeypants, an’ Metz, an’ skippymom, an’ BerthaServant, an’ heck, I love ‘em all! (Would love to know what T.U.M.’s name’s about; also chanpon’s.)
cath & Kiragirl – House!
Horror (and surprise)
The friends hear the dreaded words
‘Squawk. Tastes like chicken!’
Doctor House limps by
Avoids banana patient
His new hire — FAIL
Who could have guessed that
In banana hell, it seems
Satan’s a parrot
Parrot goes hunting
Split from safety of the bunch
The weakest fall prey
Nightmare scenario
While friends watch, banana gets
Devoured by parrot
Surgical intern
Dr McTweety has lost
patient (and job)
Banana splits from
safety of the bunch? That is
two puns in one, Cin’!
Horrible creature
It just came out of nowhere
Bobby, SAY SOMETHING!
It’s moving to see
That the beautiful die young
In ‘nana world too
Was this a movie
We would all think like this now:
Will they have revenge?
Svenster but what if
It was self defense. Plot twist!
Fruit had it coming!
Banana bad guys?!
Chiquita maffia, perhaps
Guess we’ll never know
there are no bad birds
only person with sharpie
who is way twisted
Well, Santipryia
If your assumption’s right, you
Nullify this thread
The definition
Of glorious num-num food,
This is happiness.
Didn’t Hichcock show
Birds are inehently bad
Sans magic marker
In my movie plot
The banana was a cop
But a cop gone bad
You could say he split
From truth and from justice
A cereal con
The other two were
To be his next two victims
Polly saves the day
It just goes to show
Bad guys get their just desserts
Justice will prevail
(missed a ‘t’ there)
oops, missed a syllable….second stanza second line
*from THE truth and from justice
You are right, Cindy
It sounds so logical now
I stand corrected
I couldn’t resist
I have so much work to do
But this is more fun!
A banana, split,
a feast for the eyes and beak,
needs nuts and whipped cream.
were Hitchcock’s birds bad,
or did the people deserve
what they got, Svenster?
One of my coworkers had this as their desktop picture… for ages I was too far away to see the markings on the bananas, so I was kind of puzzled. hee.
Deserving that fate?!
Nommed to death by birdies, but
If it were kittehs…
Imagine that, Sant’
Lovely, deadly, pink cat-tounges
Fuzzy, purring end
Hahaha! Wonderful staging!
Also, what a beautiful ringneck!!
MORE PARROTS!
okay i agree
much better fuzzy kitties
but still no bad birds
My haiku skills are sad in comparison to many of yours, but you can’t get better unless you practice so here goes:
The ‘nanas are scared
The parakeet is hungry
Can’t we all be friends?
For those who didn’t understand what Jamie just wrote, I’ll try a quick translation:
Wonderful staging
Also beautiful ringneck
More parrots, I say
Why, this bird saved us!
From the evil alien
Inside ‘nanner gut!
I so wish you’re right
But how they can be good with
Freddy Krueger-feet?
Ringneck knows the call
Comes from somewhere in the house
Bananaphone’s dead
Surgeon takes Scalpel
Poor Patient. is Devoured NOW
Insides are yummy!
He’s green. He’s mean. He’s…
Got our friend Gene! We’re afraid
It’s a real bad scene!
Bwa ha OMG
C O peeps are talented
I love all of you
Oh the bananaity!!!
Almost 10 o’clock
(Central Time). All’s quiet on
Cute Overload front.
OMG, CO
Peeps have *social* lives!? What’s that?
Ask the five kittehs.
I can’t remember,
she answers, expectantly
refreshing the page.
Thanks for a great day, CO! G’night! And have a great weekend!
SO funny and creative
patients chest open
dr birds technique stunning
gallery, amazed
scalpel, spreader, sponge
dr polly in command
patients terminal
“er” its sure not
its nielsen appeal
is evident though
surgical haiku
has a bunch of bananas
recoiling with shock
not needing cracker
polly substitutes fresh fruit
insulin in check
fine feathered vulture
feeds on a yellow victim
his friends shocked for sure
such exacting lines
the birds surgical technique
amazing to all
his life drained away
the bananas sacrifice
example to all
banana attacked
can we call it fruiticide?
the bird is guilty
caught him red-handed
or should i say, in mid-peck
he’s on nancy grace
a banana, split
a bunch of friends, horrified
fruiticiide, they say
a bird-eat-fruit world
amateur vid went viral
the new youtube star
Need Analysis
Afreud too Jung for Adler
This a Killer Bird ?
Send for Mack Taylor
Murder is too much for me
Case for C S I
I wanted that fruit
You have eaten my breakfast
Naughty little bird
This picture has endless possibilities
Patti is the name
Hoping that I bring a smile
like to write Haiku
Guts of banana spilled like guilt
The avian terrorist masticated madly
Bananas spooned in fear.
Thanks. The thumbs are gone.
I can be a little brave
and try a haiku.
But no, I missed it.
May I still write poetry
on a Caturday?
Oh hurry parrot
or your patient will suffer
a brown and mushy fate!
From the bottom of my cute-loving but slightly timid heart, thank you for the absense of the thumbs, even if its just for the Friday haiku.
Oh my God it’s true!
I never believed he would..
What are we to do?
Banana peeled…
Guttered for breakfast
A silent scream
Poor, sweet Bananas.
Alas, the cruel parrot
was pretty hungry.
OMG this is the best haiku picture ever!
Verdigris mimic
Benevolent seeming gaze
Hell hath no fury
Please, Hercule Parrot
Search clues which incriminate
We appeal to you!
“My condolences
to you, my fellow yellows
for your tragic loss
But fear not, mon frére,
Pet Detective yours truly
has done it again!
I have cracked the code
I have solved the mystery
with this evidence
of brown monkey hair
I found in the fruity flesh
of your beloved!”
P.S. That’s a beautiful ring-necked parakeet. I had one once and he plucked out all his feathers. P.P.S. Could this possibly be a record for the number of comments? What is the record?
keep your friends,
close but
keep your enemies closer
seemed like a nice guy
So sorry for crappy HTML tag. First time, and all.
I love how they are grasping each other in horror. heh.
Thanks for the idea
breakfast for frenimies
weak heart?
The hound of Zeus, the verdant parakeet,
Shall violently fall upon thy flesh
And rend it as ’twere rags; and every day
And all day long shall thine unbidden guest
Sit at thy table, feasting on thy liver
(Apologies to Aeschylus – Prometheus Bound)
Bird M.E. proclaims
Accidental fruiticide
In Cavendish case
So he says, but still
Plaintive plantain mom and dad
Cry murder most fowl!
@ John Fairfields – So the ‘nana on the left stole the secret recipe for Bananas Foster from the gods? (tee to the hee)
No way am I clever enough to come up with something funny. Funny as hell, but a little sick.
That is brilliant!
OH MY GAWSH!!! That is awesome! It makes me want to do something like that with my dog, she loves carrots haha!!
high hopes for healing
but alas, the good Doctor
Pollly’s a quack (er)!
Chai – “murder most fowl” – applause, applause!
Creativity!
Bravissimo to all peeps
who no longer lurk.
——————————————-
There are no bad birds,
only the species you can’t
say on radio.
[TY GC]
bananas frightened!
birdie attacked no warning
friend dis-imfowled
Banana Brave Heart!
Crude evisceration!
add ice cream and blend!
[SQUEEDOM!!! - Ed.]
I bow to your comic genius
haha funny
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