Peeps, I just had to re-post this one. I mean, sorry, um… I wanted to run this game-changing action item back up the flagpole to see what paradigm shifts. Mike, take it away; I gotta walk/trot/run to a webinar.
—
Gentlemen, We Have a Situation
“It has come to my attention that our company is faced with a crisis. Now, I want to be pro-active here, so I’ve called this little pow-wow to make sure we’re all on the same page about this thing.
“Now, men, a crisis is nothing but an opportunity mixed with danger. In fact, it was the ancient Egyptians who combined the symbols for opportunity and danger because they had never heard it before, the word crisis, I mean, but anyway, if we work as a team, we can seize this bull by the horns (or maybe it was the Chinese), and think outside the box to fast-track a best-in-breed, synergistic solution that will facilitate a sea change throughout our enterprise.
“And remember, there is no “I” in team, but there is an “I” in pie … in, er, meat pie, and the anagram of meat is team, and … mmm, pie … I’m sorry, what was the question again?”
I think I used to work for this guy, Kate M.
{ 60 comments }
There’s no “I” in team, but there is a “me” if you jumble it a bit…
I did-ent. But – is he hiring????
I only wish my boss was that cute! And I live with my boss…
I’m on it, boss!
(um… whatever “it” is.)
Very glengarry glenn ross…
He’s really just waiting for that toy to get thrown isn’t he?
I want to go to work for this Puggle! Ohh, what joys Monday mornings will be. I’ll just snuggle and cuddle and SQUEE from 9 to 5!
what was that????? that noise…?
a paradigm? shifting…?
yep.
Clearly this guy is having a Monday, except it’s a Friday. .
I recognize that type of key… so, he drives a VW?
(that is, not a Benz)
It would be kind of funny to take my boss out on a lunch time walk.
I need you to work this Saturday on those TPS reports!
YES! Awesome Shaun of the Dead reference there Teho!
You’ve got red on you.
…it’s Electro. [sulking]
All forms of Synergy should be outlawed from all work related speeches.. I mean really who invented that word. I know it wasn’t the Pup becasue pups are really sensible well except when it comes to meat pie, squirrels and all forms of bacon!
There is no “i” in team, but there is an “eat me.”
oh it still makes me sob to look at these faces……I lost my little girl 3 months ago at age 12 & I hope that soon I’ll be able to enjoy the pugs as I used to! Is there anything cuter?!
Members of the board, I’d like you all to meet the new CEO of Goldman Sachs.
. . . outside-the-box, fast-track, synergy . . . BINGO!
I misread *webinar* as winebar.
[Wait! No! I NEVER SAID THAT WHO SAID I WAS GOING THERE CAUSE I'M THAT'S JUST NOT I CAN'T BELIEVE oh fine, so I'm going. Who wants to share a cab? - Ed.]
**Love** the “vintage Mercedes” link. You should post it here. It’s really kinda cute!
Let’s think big, People. Get away from that low-hanging fruit. Let’s operationalize what we mean by sea change. Gwen, Honey, get me a drink. This is going to be a long night.
Just as long as we don’t stop having Bud Light at our meetings, hic! Say, can we maybe get some different beer?
Maybe it’s an outlier, but how can we grow our jargon going forward?
Theresa, you’re fired.
*cough cough*
some parts ripped from Shaun of the Dead
My boss says “fast-track” all the time. It’s ridiculous.
At our last monthly office-wide meeting someone said, “low hanging fruit”, not once, twice. I snorted both times. I was the only one. Sincerely could not help it.
herm…
“incentivize” – yeaaaah!
But Paunchie, I was ready for an accountability-rich environment!
@pyrit –
I’m beginning to perceive where you get yer innnsperashuns!!!!!!
Signed,
Your servant in Bureaucracy…..
You can’t get fruit high without a whole lotta milka.
Did somebody say winebar?! I’ll share a cab with you Teho!
[Heh, too late, sorry; we decided to stay home tonight. I made sangria & guac. - Ed.]
…and Patito, re: Sangria — the fruit is most DEFINITELY high.
dudz, the word ain’t CRISIS. the word is RISK.
itz wut the investerz in the houzing markt refuzed to accept. They wantz it all – opportunity without the danger:-)
glad I cud giv uz this lecture ’bout investmentz. wish I had a qte kat pic to go with it.
yer old friend,
nancy
My family is looking at me funny ’cause I keep LOLing. Y’all are too funny.
(Hint: yes, this IS a joke)
Theo: is guac at all similar to guacamole???????
[Yes, very. GOOD guacamole, in fact, and it's all gone now. - Ed.]
or izzit more like guano? (erp) [Um, no. Eww. - Ed.]
(gives sideways look like the snide young man on Leave it to Beaver who was so skilled at insincerity)
Bwah!
The sad thing is that I have read and edited reports by real, employed professionals that weren’t even this coherent.
[Well, so have I, and I'm glad it's at least worth a smile. - Ed.]
@Leslie, not the author:
Eddie Haskell!
http://www.tvworthwatching.com/blog/eddie%20haskell.jpg
“That’s a lovely dress, Mrs. Cleaver.”
I *KNEW* that I was surrounded by Klever CuteOverloaders who would remember his name. Thanks!!!
Linda M., so sorry for your loss. (((hug)))
To be fair, my Holee Roller totally distracts me from my business meetings.
[I'm having a hard time figuring out if this is good or bad... a little help? - Ed.]
P.S. — I am reassured that Teh Peeps are taking their Friday Night and using it as y’all ought to. Cheers!
[ - Ed.]
…for Editor, you know. Yes, it’s a self-granted title, but Meg indulges me, bless her, and dang it, I do take it seriously.
My boss is a big fan of ending a statement with “soooo….” It makes for lots of awkward silences with eye contact while awaiting the end of the thought. He blinks and purses his lips after saying “soooo…,” which has become a clue that there will be nothing following. I’d almost rather hear some of this silly business jargon!
Hurray for Shaun of the Dead on CuteOverload…
would he fire me if I kept picking him up and hugging him?
TEAM PUG
@ Theo — Glad the Guac was successfully enjoyed. Thx fer the informational consultation
@SoxFan–I have a friend who’s a pretty gruff, macho, Queens NYC fellow (why he allows himself to be accompanied by a middle aged white gal from the South, ????I’ll never understand; but he keeps showin’ up & he *can* be pretty interesting, perceptive, etc…..if you wait through all the “Tuff Guy” bluster…..) ENNYhow ….
after I’d known him for about 6 months, I gently kidded him one day, when he (for the 79th time) began his statement with the phrase
“Here’s the thing” ….
He did a major doubletake, that I had “called him” on that phrase. I had realized long before, that any sentence starting w/ that phrase, would result in either him disagreeing with my point or him bringing up some problem…He looked at me long & hard, then finally asked, “Do I use that phrase often?????” ….
I have noted a remarkable reduction in his use of that phrase (*wink*) !!!
Score one, for geeky white Southern Librariologists!!!
Yup, took the Orchestra Summer ‘09 staff out to pizza in celebration of a great week. Many laughs, much frivolity and not a little strategy/planning was accomplished! Not one ‘low hanging fruit’ reference, either! This guy would have only mooched the ham off the pizza.
PS
@ Ed aka Theo
Did the Librariologist Research thing on the Holee Roller Qwershtyun. See the (I think it’s green) pierced ball on the Pug Director’s Desk?
Go to a webpage for Petco….Holee Roller is the Brand Name for that product.
Yup, shur, yewbetcha. Don’ mention it.
(Well, okay, I won’t object TOO strongly, to a Thank You Pizza. Pizza Hut, extra cheese, thin crust. Mountain Dew. Sure, you can have a slice. You said the Guac was already gone? oh well)
Frivolity to All
Hey now!!! Someone’s been lovin’ Shaun of the Dead. Great movie and and sweet pup.
Hol-ee Roller; tis the ball on the desk that has captured his attention
My dog has one, they are surprisingly fun.
@ Leslie(NTA) – my hubby frequently covers conversational pauses with the word “anyway…” I pointed this out recently — he was totally unaware of it. (Frequency of use hasn’t dropped off, tho….) (but when you’ve been married since 1483, habits don’t really change any more) (not MP reference, but close – catch it?)
….um…1483…is that a PRECISE date????
Curiously yours
No, Leslie, not a *precise* date. If anyone else is still following this thread, maybe they can supply the exact year Sybil Fawlty answers (without missing a beat) to a query about how long she & Basil have been married. I’m confident other CO peeps are fans of Fawlty Towers (starring John Cleese of MP fame).
great “Shaun” quoteage
@now8ing
Since 1485
i love pugs!!!!
they are so sweet!!
love your website,congrats
Thx, serorobele! I *knew* CO peeps would come thru. (Only 2 yrs off — I guess the Alzheimer’s isn’t *too* bad yet!)
“You think I’m not concerned about National Veterinary Care?”
You just missed one thing ….”I called this little bow-wow” instead of pow-wow ….so cute
Comments on this entry are closed.