Hint: This Will Sound Funnier if You Read it Like Jerry Lewis

0:04: “Oh no, no way, nuh-uh. You’re not getting me in that… that… whatever that blue stuff is, no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o thank you…”
0:10: “… because it looks all wet and sloshy and it could hurt a person and so I will just romp and play where it is nice and–HEY LAAAY-DEE!” (splash!)
0:24: “Oh, this is not so bad, I’m moist and I’m swimming… Hey, where you going? I was just beginning to–WHAAAAAA! You bit me! You bit my little body with the teeth and the hurting of me, owwww…”
0:35: “Now I am dry again, but if you want me to swim, you have to promise not to do the biting and the pulling from the water, thank you nice lady!”
0:53: (Temporary loss of cuteness. Please stand by.)
0:57: “OK, here I go… Whe-e-e-e-e-e! See how much more fun it is when with all of the chomping and the yanking you don’t make so much?”
1:42: OOOWWWW! Again with the biting and the pulling! Will you stop with the pulling of my arm which is painful and is not a nice thing, already!”

Comments

  1. Looloobelle says:

    Can you say PUSHY PARENT? Sheesh.
    I am however lovin the unaccompanied part-swimming-part-fluke-movement-through-water-that-quite-frankly-bebbeh-couldn’t-believe-was-working-either :D

  2. Awwwwww, flap away lil bebeh seal! Flap away!

  3. baby sealio iglesias!
    and temporary loss of cuteness… lol!

  4. Von Zeppelin says:

    Ah! A homage to ze mastair of ze cinema comique! NTMTOM, you ‘ave capshaired hees voice exactement. Merci! Merci! (kisses NTMTOM on both cheeks, awards Palm D’Or)

  5. Awww mommeh seal can teach me how to swim whenever she wants to!

  6. That’s pretty adorable.

  7. Katrina says:

    Von Zeppelin- zee Palm D’or, not zee palmface, eh?

  8. Leslie (not the author!!) says:

    ….could someone from the Maintenance Dept pleez bring some WD-40 to the Aquarium/ Pool area??? We’re experiencing a consistent squeaking sound — Thank You !!!!

  9. I could hear the baby oing: BUt MMAAAWWWWMMMM

  10. Wow. All those years I thought that bathtub wind-up toy I had was totally unrealistic. Silly me. Turns out that hilarious herky-jerkity flipper action is based on actual bebbeh sea lion swimming.

  11. I would like to sic Mama Sea Lion on my five-year-old nephew, who when offered swimming lessons this summer, told his father, “It’s not gonna happen.”

  12. Note also that first he doesn’t want to go in, then he doesn’t want to come out, like so many kids everywhere.

  13. Mrs. McGinty says:

    I can hear the ehn-ehn-ehn from here as he strokes mightily to keep up with Mommy. Hey LAAAAAADY! Maybe you could swim a little slower, I could keep up with you, would it be so terrible?

  14. January says:

    Wow!

  15. Why don’t you make a section for surrogate mothers! Like this cute little pair:

    http://andfinally.tv/2009/07/dog-becomes-surrogate-mother-to-red-panda/

    [Well, we have Interspecies Snorgling and ResQte™... - Ed.]

  16. metsakins says:

    :53 aaaiiieeeee human children….so not cute!!!!!!!! thank g-d that didn’t last long!

    and ntmtom how do you know ’bout Jerry Lewis…ya can’t be as old as me.

  17. “But mom, that little blue fish told me to just keep swimming…”

    love it

  18. looked like momma’s teaching behbeh the correct breathing techniques…. :)

  19. Kristabelle says:

    Good gravy, did she yank him out of the water or what???
    “I SAID, get out of the pool, and I MEANT it, young man!”

  20. Magic and Mischief says:

    At 0:39 seconds into the video when the leeeetle guy is on the ledge, it looks like he’s shaking his head “no!” Hahaha sooooo adorables

  21. apotheosis says:

    protoblorp.

  22. Peg of Tilling says:

    It’s like a children’s book: “Sulley, the Seal Who Was Scared to Swim.”

  23. @Apotheosis, “Protoblorp”? Did you perhaps mean “Photoblorp”? Are you saying this video is Photoblorped? I can’t tell from the pixels.

  24. Cambridge_Rat_Mom says:

    What a good mother, so concerned for her little one.

  25. Von Zeppelin says:

    Theresa, I believe “Photoblorping” is a process by which a more curvaceous, robust, Rubenseque figure is created by manipulating the image. The mama seal is a good example–amply padded, yet streamlined. This is the opposite of what they do on fashion magazine covers, where they may 94-pound models look like 84-pound models.

  26. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    Oh, sure, this adult sea lion can bite the baby one all she wants, but I bite one kid one time, and everyone gets all up in my grill.

  27. To be fair, Von Z, sometimes that can be achieved simply with black clothing. Or vertical stripes.

  28. christine says:

    I wanna seal!

  29. Shannon says:

    Temporary loss of cuteness: *thumbs up*

  30. Noelle (the First) says:

    “Temporary loss of cuteness..” Hee :)

    How graceful is Momma seal, sliding easily out of the water and back in! Baby has a lot to learn. Too cute though.

  31. “Blorp” tag, heehee. And @Argyle: I know, right? Damn speciesists! (Try saying THAT out loud.)

  32. @VonZep, Thanks! So THAT’S what happens to all my pictures!!

  33. hon glad says:

    Pitu- After you with the swimming lessons.

  34. @Argyle WHERE did you bite the kid? In the swimming pool? Or in the tushy?

  35. apotheosis says:

    @Apotheosis, “Protoblorp”? Did you perhaps mean “Photoblorp”? Are you saying this video is Photoblorped? I can’t tell from the pixels.

    Nope. Protoblorp. As in, a blorp precursor, which will someday blossom into a bountiful bucket of billowing blorp.

  36. earlybird1 says:

    CUTE! She’s like a momma kitteh grabbing her young’un by the scruff.

  37. @Apotheosis, yes, I grasp it!!! I nominate you for a Nobel Prize in Blorpology for identifyng the phenomenon.

  38. Apotheosis! Holy crap! He MELTED!!

  39. LOL What a wonderful Momma seal I love how she guides him in the water and teaches him to get his head under the water. I like how he first falls in to the pool instead of jumping in LOL.

    ands the temporary loss of cutenes Snicker!

    Nomtom Love the nod to Jerry Lewis. Perfect. LOL

  40. Not protoblorp or photoblorp, it’s Spandex!

  41. Apotheosis – Ripple effect!

  42. apotheosis says:

    He didn’t melt, he evolved. It’s a zen thing, he’s becoming one with the ocean.

    At least that’s what he’s going to tell his dietitian. :D

  43. Leslie (not the author!!) says:

    Man — it’s gettin’ to the point (CSN flashbacks, ennyone???? :)
    where I gotta keep a dicshunaree beside thu komputerr (see, I’m such a geek, I still use the *BOOK* form dicshunaree) to comprehend the comment stream

    protoblorp??photoblorp???
    wow — like, towtallee kawsmik, man.

  44. DaytimeDeb says:

    Sweetness and cute AND laugh-out-loud hysterical (temporary loss of cuteness) all in one video. It’s the whole package. This should have gotten an Emmy nomination.

  45. I was at the Mystic CT Aquarium last weekend and they taught us how to tell seals from sea lions! Sea lions have big front flippers and use them to push through the water, while seals have stubby little front flippers and rely more on wriggling their bodies to move through the water. These are sea lions. :D

  46. catloveschanel says:

    They should have dubbed that Paul Simon Song, “My Momma Loves Me” onto that video.
    Sigh.
    My momma loves me,
    she gets down on her knees and hugs me,
    oooooooo she loves me like a Rock,
    loves me like the Rock of Ages,
    she loves me loves me loves me loves me…

  47. Skeeter says:

    How embarrassing to be hanked out of the pool by your mom in front of your friends. He’ll probably need counseling later in life over this.

  48. Paunchie says:

    Sealions have little bitty ears too don’t they? I love how they glide through the water. I wish I could swim like that! Maybe in my next life.

  49. Jimbeaux says:

    Whenever I went to the zoo as a kid, the first thing I wanted to see were the sea lions. Being able to see them today really brightened things up. I love the little guy and his hesitance, finally becoming a full-on ‘I’m swimmin’, mama!’ moment. :)

  50. PeppaMama says:

    @Apotheosis: *deep breath* Erm, I’m a bit afraid to post this for fear of someone thinking I’m just trying to be funny, but I REALLY thought you wrote “proctoblorp” and I knew what the ‘blorp’ part was but couldn’t for the life of me understand the “procto” part as Mum seal never grabbed the pup’s tushy or nuffingk like that and I was getting upset and, and, and, then I realized maybe my Lasik eye correction needs correcting. *pant, pant, catching breff*

    [This is so wrong that it's right. - Ed.]

  51. Just like a mom!

  52. apotheosis says:

    I don’t know what mental image would attach to “proctoblorp” and I’m pretty sure I don’t ever, ever want to. O_O

  53. I am going to see the bebeh sea lion this weekend. Kind of ridiculous how excited I am. He’ll be all whipped into shape by then if Mom has anything to say about it.

  54. Bouviegal says:

    Seeing as I’m working with our 3 year old every night at the neighborhood pool, I immediately thought upon viewing the video, “Hey, who filmed us?!”

    Then I realized, it’s another mom and fledgling swimmer. Oh. :)

  55. Ah! Baby sea lion! *DO LOVE*

  56. Helicopter parenting claims another species.

  57. 5^^now8ing says:

    “Temporary loss of cuteness. Please stand by.” — SNORRK!

    Argyle Donkeypants — yeah, one little yank and they wanna call social services on ya! (totally *kidd*ing, in case you can’t see it) But seriously — animal parents are better than people? — tell that to the lion cub who gets slapped up against the wall when it misbehaves!

  58. NTMTOM – your talent at caption-writing is brilliant. I hope you get paid well for your cleverness :)

  59. I love how when the little one is swimming, mom’s calling out “see what my kid can do?”

  60. Katiedid says:

    AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

  61. Aww!!

  62. OK, Mister … you’ve had enough. Out of the water NOW before I drag you by the flipper !!!

  63. I was hearing the voice as the mad scientist from the Simpsons.

    I have problems getting out of swimming pools. If there isn’t a little ladder, I blorp around at the edge of the pool trying to heave myself out. Perhaps I could ask this mama to come and haul me out? With less of the biting, with the ow, and the teeth…

  64. @Earwig– Hank Azaria’s Professor Frink voice is basically a Jerry Lewis impression.

  65. (PS: “Oh, sorry I’m late. There was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying when the monkeys stole the glasses off my head.”)

  66. sea lions are so funny.

  67. @Theresa – I live, I learn. :)

  68. @Earwig, you’re living, and you’re learning, with the expansion of the knowledge in general, mmmm-hai.

  69. YESSS my city zoo! I actually have a pic of momma seal before she gave birth on my website =)

  70. Oh noes says:

    The mama seal is unhappy because the ledge is too high for the baby seal to get back out of the water

  71. Mary (the first) says:

    I just watched this again.. SO sweet! That’s a very good mama. I love how she immediately went back in after him when he didn’t follow her out of the pool .. and corralled him by curling her body around him and then grabbing his flipper to haul him out. Nothing like motherly intincts!

  72. kibblenibble says:

    @ Oh noes: I think you’re right. I hope they correct this…Maybe just adding some more water to make the level higher, so mama doesn’t have to toss the baby out of the, erm, bathwater.

  73. dyana56 says:

    Can’t you just picture this as a human mother and child. First guiding wayward child by the back of the neck and then grabbing the hand of same wayward child. “I said it is time to come out of the pool!!!” ….”But ma!!!” Adorable

  74. Good lord. Cutest swimming lessons ever.

  75. kibblenibble says:

    BTW forgot to say, never saw such a tiny babeh sea lion learning to swim. So cute! Such a wonderful attentive mama! Robin, can you give us an update, since you live there? :-)

  76. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  77. Rule of Cuteness #7?

  78. gravyboat says:

    That was so cute I peed myself a little.

  79. aww sniff sighh-that was so sweet.

    Renate

  80. @ Renate – sweet as it was – I see also the serious side – the animal Mothers can teach us so much – a yank on a small flipper is nothing compared to the possibility of the baby being hurt, or drowned; and as for the baby lions our friend mentioned – they do “get slapped up against the wall” but their cute little furry butts can take a “love-tap” from Mom or Dad that could wound us badly,
    While we are thinking of Mothers – I saw an adventurous Baby Elephant get a smack from Mothers trunk when he fell in the mud – and hollered the place down “Mo-om help I’m drowning” and it took his Mom and a couple of “Aunties” to get him out – it put me in mind of a child who had been in danger getting a smack behind for being silly. **smack** “let that be a lesson to you to stay out of trouble”

  81. Looloobelle says:

    @catloveschanel sorry I couldn’t let it slide, that Paul Simon song’s called ‘Loves Me Like a Rock’, not ‘My Momma Loves Me’, altho I am in agreements that it would’ve been hellah appropes. And now, back to the cuteness…

  82. That made me go awwwwwwww all the way through. :)

  83. RobinFlamingo says:

    @Robin – he was born on your website? Did he dangle? :-)

  84. Kristabelle says:

    Funny RF! :mrgreen:
    I think the other Robin meant this:

    http://meihua.deviantart.com/art/Happy-to-Sea-You-125561726

  85. @ Oh Noes:
    I think you’re absolutely right. That makes sense as to why she doesn’t want him in the water now; she’s afraid he won’t be able to get back out.

    The zookeepers could save his little fleeper if they would put in a bebeh ramp/slide.

  86. What a good mom…

  87. EVERYTHING sounds better with a Jerry Lewis accent!

  88. LOL!! As we would say in the South, “Mama snatched his ass up!” If only more human mamas would do the same with their little darlings.

    And what a GOOD mama she is.

  89. Lula Mae says:

    I used the wonderful CIP to spare me from the temporary loss of cuteness *g*

  90. I was at the zoo last week and saw the baby in person. She was born June 13th and is cute as can be. When I saw her, she got in the water by herself and swam around for a bit, Mama Zoey was already in the water swimming around. Later they were hanging out on land and then came the time coaxing baby girl back into the water.

  91. how come they don’t have a slanted ramp area for the babe to get in and out of water easier ?!!!!

  92. I agree a ramp would be nice and similiar to the gentle slopes on the beaches but come on folks, that piggy back ride was adorable!

    I love how attentive Mom was during the swim. Although, she did seem to be doing a little “smurfing” so that he’d put his head under water.

  93. Holy goodness, that’s my zoo! O.O Since when has Pittsburgh had baby sea lions?! I am so out of the loop in my area! D:

    On a side note: CUTE AS BUTTONS. Must find time to visit them asap.

  94. Argh! They are absolutely cute. No doubts. So tiny and vulnerable. :)

  95. E. Spinner says:

    I saw this baby last week at the Pittsburgh Zoo. It was adorable…the other seals were swimming, but Baby was just sitting on the edge like he was thinking “Swim? Well, maybe…nope, gotta scratch my flipper…ok, now? Nope, other flipper is itching now…well, you know, it looks a little cloudy…did I just feel a raindrop? Maybe the whole swimming thing can wait till tomorrow.”

  96. i’d like to be
    under the sea
    in a holding my breath contest with a pinnipedal mini-me

    (daps to mr. starr)

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