Arise, King Kitten!

… and by the power vested in me by the kingdom of Cutesylvania, I hereby crown thee King Ace XVII ¼, Lord Sovereign of the Sandbox, Monarch of Mousies, First Heir to Choice Sunbeams, Divine Ruler of all…

Wait, something isn’t right here.  I think it’s the crown.  We need something that lends a certain gravitas befitting the dignity of this solemn occasion…


Oh, yeah.  That’s working for me.  Proceed.


Can I be the Duke of URL, Diane V.?



  1. URL of Sandwich?

  2. earlybird1 says:

    I love how kitteh’s ears are placed in perfect crown-balancing posishe.

  3. I have no idea what you’re talking about, so here is a kitten with a toilet paper roll on his head.

  4. Trez4400 says:

    Sir Snorglishous

  5. Shouldn’t the crown read: “Cheezburger King”?

    [Again with the wrong website! What is wrong with you people?! 😛 – Ed.]

  6. What about Sir Rosis of the Liver? Lord of the Litterbox?

  7. 260Oakely says:

    Lord of the Prance

  8. hon glad says:

    Cardboard King of Cutemmous

  9. Sir NomsALot!

  10. MadameX says:

    King? KING?!?!

    What insult is this? Don’t you peeps realize all cats are GODS?

    Sheesh! The Egyptians knew this 3,000 years ago!

    Winston does not approve. And he’s not amused.

  11. Kristabelle says:

    Fisher King?

    PS. Love the Have it Your Way hovertext. :p

  12. @T.U.M.: Mississippi is a pretty, pretty princess!

  13. Empurror?

  14. His Majesty looks less than pleased. I do believe heads are gonna roll, and then he’ll merrily scamper batting them about the throne room.

  15. Cute prince of a kitten.

    Also, a threadjack: Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canucks!

  16. Oh? Canada??

  17. DJ, a Fark-worthy comment to be sure.

    Theo, Estlin, and any other fellow Canadians lurking around – Happy Canada Day to you as well!

  18. …curse my inability to end HTML tags!

    [Fixed it for you. But I should tell you, I’m Minnesotan, not fully Canadian. 😉 – Ed.]

  19. Katrina says:

    T.U.M-do you sleep in a catcher’s mask? Beautiful, if pissed off, kitteh there.

  20. Emerson says:

    Duke of URL! I love that joke.

  21. “Fine. Have it your way.”


  22. metsakins says:

    I want to keees his pink fuzzy lips! Is that wrong?

  23. Merci, mon editeur… I appreciate you fixing my tag. Minnesotan might as well be Canadian at this point, don’t deny it… you’re our fourth territory!

  24. Caitlin says:

    good one, Pyrit! 😀

  25. Anudder kitteh who looks liek my Domino!! *squeeeeeeee*

    Tho I don’t think Dommie would be quite so payshent wif a TP crown…. she’d rather chase it on the floor.

  26. Trez4400 says:

    this is the look it get when I try to tie a bow on mine. The “you are so beneath me” look

  27. AuntieMame says:

    Isn’t Minnesota our last line of defense against Canada? Or is that Detroit? 😛

    And I was gonna say, MadameX. What is this talk of lowly kings?

  28. Cats would make the most lax rulers ever. They have just two rules: feed me and go away.

  29. MadamX, you’re right on the money.

    I always wondered if cat lady’s were as revered in Ancient Egypt…

  30. The Duke of Ellington, the Count of Basie, the Earl of Hines . . .

  31. I love tuxie Kitties .. They are the Romeo’s of the cat kingdom.

  32. danielie says:

    Kitty Ruler demands real rubies in his BK crown. Or at least some Fancy Feast.

  33. mmmm….king kittie bref is the sweetest nectar of all…..

  34. Duke of URL? *Groan*

    Only Mike.

  35. Lord of the Fries (I can’t believe no one got there before I did…)

  36. Don’t look so glum, little kitty. Don’t you know it’s good to be king?

  37. Lord Sovereign of the Sandbox, Monarch of Mousies, First Heir to Choice Sunbeams, Divine Ruler of all…

    Also, Sworn Enemy of the Evil Vacuum Dragon.

  38. holligans says:

    Don’t forget Sir Osis of Liver and the Earl of Cloves!!

  39. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    We. Are. Not. Amused.

  40. skippymom says:

    I can’t believe no one has pointed out yet that the second picture has obviously been tampered with! Where is the outrage, people? Are we just going to let this be foisted upon us without even a whimper of protest? What have we become?

  41. chanpon says:

    His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Dr. Kitty Amin, VC, DSO, MC, King of Scotland, Lord of all the Beast of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in General and Uganda in Particular.

  42. chanpon – Oh. My my. Impwessive.
    (squints @ horizon, rubbing chin … )

  43. SOOOOOO CUTE!lol

  44. Note, peeps, that this is the lovely rosy-nosed tuxie variety. The nose on one such kitty, depending on his mood and temperature, will vary from a pale, shell-pink to a shocking fuchsia. :mrgreen:

  45. PS “Lord of the Litterbox” reminds me of “Leader of the Landromat.” Vroom vroom!

  46. skippymom says:

    Theresa, I’ve noticed that about the nose. Francesco isn’t a pure tuxedo, as he also has stripes on his sides (I call him a “brindled tuxie”), but I definitely notice that the intensity of the pink does vary. I think his tends to be palest when he has been seepies for a while, and brightest when he is romping and frollicking with his bros.

  47. Theadosia says:

    I wish.

    The feeding rule alone has three volumes of sub-clauses and commentary.

  48. Von Zeppelin says:

    Just Burger King? Why not His Sacred Majesty the Burger Emperor, Beloved Father of His Subjects and Sovereign of All Lands Beyond the Sea, Defender of the Realm, Beloved of the Gods and Municipal Sewer Commissioner?

  49. Theadosia says:

    Damn. HTML fail. I was referring to the comment about cats only having two rules.

  50. Eh eherm….erm
    Weeellll! If it isn’t Mr. Super Size Meet Your Maker Aristocatmandude Higher Authority I’m OK And You’re Not Sensei-and-you-sense-it-too My Public Awaits How Dare You Put A TP Roll On *My* Head You’re Dismissed!

  51. Leslie (not the author!!) says:

    …ummm….Theo: did you already/ also consider whether the territory involved might be CATsylavania????


    Jus’ wond’rin’ ……

  52. Leslie (not the author!!) says:


    OMG I’m DOOMED to FOX PAWS this week, folks. Mea Culpa, mea MAXIMA culpa (& yes, I’ll take THIS one, to confesshun tomorrow).
    Please delete the address line “To Theo” & replace with address line “To NTMTOM” .

    [sigh. gulp/ swallow. BLUSH, etc.]

  53. skippymom says:

    Leslie, I heart your expression “fox paws”. Did you make it up?

  54. Mary (the first) says:

    @TUM, my kitteh has almost exactly that same tiara/photo (I don’t know how to attach here or I would) and the same expression on her face: “omg what I put up with for bowl of kibble every now and then!”

  55. Leslie T. says:

    wow — how nice to hear something encouraging, in the midst of my blundering EFFORTS to get my orig. punchline correct !!
    the answer to your question is: I’m not sure. I think actually I did steal it from some random place where I read it. Most unusual, for me not to have its source thoroughly footnoted to a level suggesting OCD tendencies. You’re welcome to enjoy and /or use it & anyhow — again — thanks for the apprec.
    Peace to all who want it.

  56. chanpon says:

    @pyrit – Credit where credit is due. A title like this can only come from the brain of mad dictator [ ]

  57. Kafkacat says:

    Ahahahahahaha!!! Duke of URL, Lord of the Fries….And to think I used to check out this site just for the pics! hee hee, my faith in the redemptive power of human goofballery is affirmed once again. yay!

    Oh, and it has been a lovely Canada Day up here in BC, thanks and carry on tha party, eh.

  58. chanpon – Thank you. I should have noticed. I saw The Last King of Scotland. It was fascinating. Forest Whitaker was perfect.
    I’ll try to pay attention better from now on! But “Municipal Sewer Commissioner” was quite distracting.
    Idi should have asked me. I love the name game.

  59. I am uncomfortable with the association between kittens and hamburgers. PETA will hear of this, you mark my words!

  60. Carlisa says:

    Pyrit, how moishe did you have to pay for your BLEEN?(1st!!!) LOL

  61. Carlisa says:

    I will not call it a furburger…I will not… (waits for -Ed to get after me)

  62. Valerie says:

    Or maybe Tuna…king of the sea!

  63. Hey, just tryin’ to open the lines for some communication here.

  64. sunshine202 says:

    Mabey he is the king of burgers! :):):) he is soooo cute.

  65. LoL Duke of URL! I’ll have to tell that one to my dad.

  66. AWW 🙂 That is one king I would love to bow down to and be his handmaiden 🙂

  67. lol he is a burger king