Tired of Fast Food?

by Not That Mike The Other Mike on June 27, 2009

Looking for an alternative to the fast pace of fast food?  Then bring your appetite — and a couple of hours — down to Tortoise Burger, where your meal crawls right to your table.  Have it your way — eventually.

This looks 'shopped.  I can tell from the lettuce...

From a frequently strange photostream found by Dave R.

{ 53 comments }

1 Rofle12 06.27.09 at 10:24 am

That looks really cute but I dont think the turtle enjoyed it

2 laureling 06.27.09 at 10:25 am

That’s a little disturbing, but hilarious at the same time. I love turtles!

3 January 06.27.09 at 10:27 am

Who would have thunk it and how did they do that!

4 Sarequarles 06.27.09 at 10:30 am

Cute photo. And everyone who is worried about turtle torture… have you even seen a turtle? They don’t have that much space between their body and shell, cause that would defeat the purpose.

This is a very cute and very well done photoshop. It made me laugh, it’s very clever.

5 chanpon 06.27.09 at 10:31 am

That turtle is truly prepped to eat on the go.

6 Liniii 06.27.09 at 10:34 am

Looks painful.

7 Deckard Canine 06.27.09 at 10:37 am

That should be on worth1000.com.

8 neptune 06.27.09 at 10:46 am

That is a damn good photoshop! I was convinced it was a photo of a fake turtle/burger figure until I looked very closely!

9 Meriweather 06.27.09 at 11:05 am

@Linii
I hear that blur tool stings something fierce. And let’s not even get started on cropping!

10 Theo 06.27.09 at 11:05 am

Deckard & Neptune — yep, agreed. Nicely done.

11 Espilonarge 06.27.09 at 11:11 am

“Hey Al.. brinng mee anotherr sloww burgerr…” “….what?!”

12 cheshirekittehkat 06.27.09 at 11:18 am

The turtle’s name is Zippee; he is the Maitre’ D down at the “Slow Loris Hamburger House”……. (Doan bother slipping hims a fiver to speed up the service: Zippee could nawt go enny faster, even if hims wunted to……!” :roll:

13 SoCalSis 06.27.09 at 11:21 am

TEWTALLY SHOPPED! Just look at the Pixies!

14 Mary (the first) 06.27.09 at 11:25 am

Ok I’m not very photoshop-knowledgeable but even I can tell this is ’shopped so all nuffers just stop right there. It’s cute though!!!

15 Candice 06.27.09 at 11:33 am

Photoshopped yes. But just as disturbing as it is funny!

16 meh 06.27.09 at 11:43 am

how much do they earn per hour, turtle labor?

17 katiedid 06.27.09 at 11:44 am

n………o………m……………….. n…….o……..m…………… n…………..o………m……..

18 katiedid 06.27.09 at 11:47 am

This should be in the “I’m ganna eat you” thread heheh… ;-D

19 AuntieMame 06.27.09 at 11:50 am

This will be on Cheezburger soon, no doubt. :D

20 dub1 06.27.09 at 12:17 pm

Really well done, esp. the lettuce Liberace-esque ruffles, but I do like my cheese meltier.
Never thought about it when I had deep-fried turtle in the Caribbean, but they tastes like chicken nuggets!

21 Camille 06.27.09 at 1:12 pm

Excuse me, garcon, I believe you have forgotten the Special Sauce.

22 Lula Mae 06.27.09 at 1:15 pm

Awesome cronsheee Filet-O-Fish

23 Paunchie 06.27.09 at 1:19 pm

do not want. moving turtle burger ~ crunchy!

24 Lizzy 06.27.09 at 1:38 pm

*looks at tortoise burger*

*sees empty tequila bottle in hand*

*goes back to bed* Clearly I’m hangover hallucinating…

25 earlybird1 06.27.09 at 1:49 pm

I think what’s most disturbing is the meat patty in the middle. EEP! :-O

One extra crispy McTurtle with cheese coming up!

26 earlybird1 06.27.09 at 1:51 pm

Hmmm, I think they forgot the mayo. (lifts shell to inspect)

27 Lerrinus 06.27.09 at 1:57 pm

@ Espilonarge: OMG a Reboot reference on CO! …Whaaat!?
Very cool!

28 Larry 06.27.09 at 2:12 pm

Quick. Get Andrew Zimmem and the Travel Channel on the line! This makes those Australian witchetty grubs look like filet mignon.

29 A. 06.27.09 at 2:34 pm

Cool, but gives me the wiggins.

30 Lizzy 06.27.09 at 3:02 pm

@A. : Ender, Valentine. and Peter?

31 boaks 06.27.09 at 3:07 pm

There’s NO WAY that’s shopped. Totally real.

[I can tell by the schnitzels! - Ed.]

32 Liz 06.27.09 at 3:58 pm

:D Would this be the opposite of fast food?

*badoomp-ching!*

Totally ’shopped, and totally cute.

33 Marie 06.27.09 at 4:04 pm

Yeah, c’mon, Lol! Even a sucker like me can see it’s photoshopped. Thank goodness. ;D

34 Nogrinnin 06.27.09 at 7:50 pm

Ew.

35 MoonCatty 06.27.09 at 8:04 pm

I can haz tortoz brgr?

36 Kat 06.27.09 at 8:05 pm

I find this so horrifyingly disgusting for some reason
like the toe fungus commercial when the little foot demon rips the toenail up and crawls under it

37 meggy 06.27.09 at 8:52 pm

Only mock turtle burger (i.e. tofu) for this ’nuffer, please.

38 Argyle Donkeypants 06.27.09 at 9:42 pm

Um, waiter, there’s a hare in my turtleburger. (So THAT’S where he went.)

39 Kar 06.28.09 at 2:07 am

Not a little disturbing. At first I thought he was wearing lettuce and the shell of ANOTHER turtle, which frankly, really would’ve been disturbing.

In a “it rubs the lotion on it’s skin” kind of disturbing.

40 Tindo.Net 06.28.09 at 8:19 am

as hungry as a hunter

41 Hon Glad 06.28.09 at 8:43 am

The bun looks a bit too crusty for my teefs.

42 Jackie 06.28.09 at 10:00 am

This reminded me of all the jokes they had in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, where Shredder would threaten to turn the turtles into turtle soup.

43 pyrit 06.28.09 at 10:32 am

I had a job one summer flippin’ turtles, at a Jack-in-the Box Turtle, but the boss and I were always at loggerheads, and I ended up snapping…

44 Katrina 06.28.09 at 10:44 am

pyrit, you are giving me a caripaceous appetite.

45 pyrit 06.28.09 at 10:49 am

Katrina – Nice retortoise.

46 Nancy (orig) 06.28.09 at 3:19 pm

OHAI! ICANHASTURTLEBURGER.

47 chelonianmobile 06.29.09 at 4:23 am

And this right here, ladies and gents, is the proof that Photoshopped pics SHOULD be allowed to proliferate freely here! Awesome.

48 alana 06.29.09 at 4:59 am

that makes me really sad.

49 Katrina 06.29.09 at 7:15 am

pyrit-niiiiiiiiice.

50 Kiragirl 06.29.09 at 7:37 am

“Order up for Mr. Slowskee!”

“da, yup, I’m on my way.”

51 Katrina 06.29.09 at 9:06 am

How bored are we, we came back all this way to this post? That is a beautiful tortoise.

52 Froggy 06.29.09 at 5:27 pm

Salmonella city

53 Black Ice 07.04.09 at 11:55 pm

XD Fun little pic there. Threw me off for a second though since (unless I’m horribly mistaken; I’m no turtle expert) you can’t remove a turtle’s shell without killing it because the back bone is connected to the shell.

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