Tired of Fast Food?

Looking for an alternative to the fast pace of fast food?  Then bring your appetite — and a couple of hours — down to Tortoise Burger, where your meal crawls right to your table.  Have it your way — eventually.

This looks 'shopped.  I can tell from the lettuce...

From a frequently strange photostream found by Dave R.

53 comments … read them below or add one

  1. Rofle12 says:

    That looks really cute but I dont think the turtle enjoyed it

  2. laureling says:

    That’s a little disturbing, but hilarious at the same time. I love turtles!

  3. January says:

    Who would have thunk it and how did they do that!

  4. Sarequarles says:

    Cute photo. And everyone who is worried about turtle torture… have you even seen a turtle? They don’t have that much space between their body and shell, cause that would defeat the purpose.

    This is a very cute and very well done photoshop. It made me laugh, it’s very clever.

  5. chanpon says:

    That turtle is truly prepped to eat on the go.

  6. Liniii says:

    Looks painful.

  7. That should be on worth1000.com.

  8. neptune says:

    That is a damn good photoshop! I was convinced it was a photo of a fake turtle/burger figure until I looked very closely!

  9. Meriweather says:

    @Linii
    I hear that blur tool stings something fierce. And let’s not even get started on cropping!

  10. Theo says:

    Deckard & Neptune — yep, agreed. Nicely done.

  11. Espilonarge says:

    “Hey Al.. brinng mee anotherr sloww burgerr…” “….what?!”

  12. The turtle’s name is Zippee; he is the Maitre’ D down at the “Slow Loris Hamburger House”……. (Doan bother slipping hims a fiver to speed up the service: Zippee could nawt go enny faster, even if hims wunted to……!” :roll:

  13. SoCalSis says:

    TEWTALLY SHOPPED! Just look at the Pixies!

  14. Mary (the first) says:

    Ok I’m not very photoshop-knowledgeable but even I can tell this is ‘shopped so all nuffers just stop right there. It’s cute though!!!

  15. Candice says:

    Photoshopped yes. But just as disturbing as it is funny!

  16. meh says:

    how much do they earn per hour, turtle labor?

  17. katiedid says:

    n………o………m……………….. n…….o……..m…………… n…………..o………m……..

  18. katiedid says:

    This should be in the “I’m ganna eat you” thread heheh… ;-D

  19. AuntieMame says:

    This will be on Cheezburger soon, no doubt. :D

  20. dub1 says:

    Really well done, esp. the lettuce Liberace-esque ruffles, but I do like my cheese meltier.
    Never thought about it when I had deep-fried turtle in the Caribbean, but they tastes like chicken nuggets!

  21. Camille says:

    Excuse me, garcon, I believe you have forgotten the Special Sauce.

  22. Lula Mae says:

    Awesome cronsheee Filet-O-Fish

  23. Paunchie says:

    do not want. moving turtle burger ~ crunchy!

  24. Lizzy says:

    *looks at tortoise burger*

    *sees empty tequila bottle in hand*

    *goes back to bed* Clearly I’m hangover hallucinating…

  25. earlybird1 says:

    I think what’s most disturbing is the meat patty in the middle. EEP! :-O

    One extra crispy McTurtle with cheese coming up!

  26. earlybird1 says:

    Hmmm, I think they forgot the mayo. (lifts shell to inspect)

  27. Lerrinus says:

    @ Espilonarge: OMG a Reboot reference on CO! …Whaaat!?
    Very cool!

  28. Larry says:

    Quick. Get Andrew Zimmem and the Travel Channel on the line! This makes those Australian witchetty grubs look like filet mignon.

  29. A. says:

    Cool, but gives me the wiggins.

  30. Lizzy says:

    @A. : Ender, Valentine. and Peter?

  31. boaks says:

    There’s NO WAY that’s shopped. Totally real.

    [I can tell by the schnitzels! - Ed.]

  32. Liz says:

    :D Would this be the opposite of fast food?

    *badoomp-ching!*

    Totally ‘shopped, and totally cute.

  33. Marie says:

    Yeah, c’mon, Lol! Even a sucker like me can see it’s photoshopped. Thank goodness. ;D

  34. Nogrinnin says:

    Ew.

  35. MoonCatty says:

    I can haz tortoz brgr?

  36. Kat says:

    I find this so horrifyingly disgusting for some reason
    like the toe fungus commercial when the little foot demon rips the toenail up and crawls under it

  37. meggy says:

    Only mock turtle burger (i.e. tofu) for this ’nuffer, please.

  38. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    Um, waiter, there’s a hare in my turtleburger. (So THAT’S where he went.)

  39. Kar says:

    Not a little disturbing. At first I thought he was wearing lettuce and the shell of ANOTHER turtle, which frankly, really would’ve been disturbing.

    In a “it rubs the lotion on it’s skin” kind of disturbing.

  40. Tindo.Net says:

    as hungry as a hunter

  41. Hon Glad says:

    The bun looks a bit too crusty for my teefs.

  42. Jackie says:

    This reminded me of all the jokes they had in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, where Shredder would threaten to turn the turtles into turtle soup.

  43. pyrit says:

    I had a job one summer flippin’ turtles, at a Jack-in-the Box Turtle, but the boss and I were always at loggerheads, and I ended up snapping…

  44. Katrina says:

    pyrit, you are giving me a caripaceous appetite.

  45. pyrit says:

    Katrina – Nice retortoise.

  46. Nancy (orig) says:

    OHAI! ICANHASTURTLEBURGER.

  47. chelonianmobile says:

    And this right here, ladies and gents, is the proof that Photoshopped pics SHOULD be allowed to proliferate freely here! Awesome.

  48. alana says:

    that makes me really sad.

  49. Katrina says:

    pyrit-niiiiiiiiice.

  50. Kiragirl says:

    “Order up for Mr. Slowskee!”

    “da, yup, I’m on my way.”

  51. Katrina says:

    How bored are we, we came back all this way to this post? That is a beautiful tortoise.

  52. Froggy says:

    Salmonella city

  53. Black Ice says:

    XD Fun little pic there. Threw me off for a second though since (unless I’m horribly mistaken; I’m no turtle expert) you can’t remove a turtle’s shell without killing it because the back bone is connected to the shell.