Nobody Understands Goth Guinea, Either

Oh, kindred soul — while others mock you, I too have faced the abyss, stared into the swirling vortex of despair from which no ray of hope escapes, in which we all are doomed to…  to…  sa-a-a-ay, that’s a really cute top in that ad there…


Wait, now I’ve lost my train of thought… what was I doing?  Oh yeah — playing!

Nothing says “soul-crushing angst” like the name “Darklord Nibbles,” Laurie C.



  1. danielie says:

    Maybe he and Emo Bun could meet up. They’d be best buds.

    “Darklord Nibbles” is an EPIC name!

  2. Katiedid says:

    OMG I LOVE G-PIGGIES!!!! But .. sigh.. I cannot have one because my boyfriend is allergic.. *tear*…
    Oh Goth Piggy… You would look so cool if you spiked your little piggy hair into spikes!!

  3. Nobody’s goth anymore babe. Bleach those black clothes brown, get some hair hilights, add some goggles and call yourself steampunk.

  4. Awww, happy piggy chortling! I love that noise, I had peegs as a child and miss their happy sounds.

  5. Goth Guinea hee hee!

  6. emudoug says:

    Wow…. that was so soothing to watch. I just sat there, entranced the whole time. My blood pressure must have dropped dramatically.

    Thank you, piggies.

  7. thicktortiethintabby says:

    I feel angst b/c of that claustrophobia-inducing kitchen. The rear view of the white-and-gray peeg’s legs while running made me feel better, tho.

    What’s w/the gallon jug of vinegar on the floor?

  8. Mother of Chaos says:

    Treats and kudos to Cameraperson who resisted the urge to zoom-follow-zoom-follow. It was so much fun to watch!! I’ve never had guiggies – but you made me want some!

  9. Oh my Goth, how thpooky.

  10. That’s some guinea mom who lets their babies have full run of the kitchen! Best. Cage. Evar. 😀

  11. the gallon jug of vinegar is blocking them from going behind the fridge/stove/etc.

    I had a bun-bun for a short time – I became an expert at blocking.

    However, I am apparently a bad guinea pig mom, since I have never turned my whole kitchen into a playground. kudos to Laurie C!

  12. HOLY PIGGIES!! *wheek wheek* i am the proud guardian of three adopted piggies… they are so cute! i’m completely hooked… and i wish i have that much space for my piggies to run around… i feel terrible for confining them to a cage most of the time >.<

  13. all i could think of when they’d run around in circles (before changing directions) is “twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom”

  14. bwhahahah! Part Duex of the gothiness called Piggie. Guinea at that

  15. Undead undead!!!! Bela Lugosi’s dead undead!

  16. Ok, so I never comment, but: bwahahahaha at the url!!! I heart you, NOMTOM.

    P.S. At work, unfortunately, I can’t see anything on this website but text (darn Internet Explorer) but I’m sure the goth piggie is totally adorable. 🙂

  17. kibblenibble says:

    Pyrit, your tho thilly! 😀

    I love how these hoomans made the kitchen into a playground so the piggehs can exercise. 🙂

  18. kibblenibble says:

    ooops “you’re”, not “your” dang it…

  19. What has happened to this site?! Trafficking in guinea porn!? For shame!

    And I am calling the health inspector on Laurie C.’s kitchen.

  20. Coincidentally, I ran across this site yesterday: Goths in Hot Weather. I’m sure that wearing a black fur coat in summer could get Goth Guinea a mention!

  21. whatever, it’s all meaningless anyway.

    oh yah, the video,like, totally doesn’t work.

    and i’m not even being sarcastic. it’s not working for me.

    not in any way.

    so, whatever.

  22. I love guineas! I have two and I also wish I had a massive cage, but they love to chortle and wheek and popcorn and CO does not show enough guineas!

  23. Not That Mike The Other Mike says:

    Here’s a link to the video, for Berthaservant and anyone else who needs it.

  24. thicktortiethintabby :
    I believe the vinegar is to keep Darklord Nibbles from squeezing between the refrigerator and the oven (which is oddly covered in an over-abundance of aluminum foil btw).

  25. As for the owner having a massive jug of vinegar, any small rodent owner will extol the virtues of vinegar as a safe cage pan cleaner. Sure, my place smells like a french fry joint for a couple of hours, but it’s much better than chinchilla pee. I think.

  26. thicktortiethintabby says:

    Well, my home always smells like ammonia (cat pee) no matter how fastidious the scooper, so vinegar would be a welcome change.

  27. I love the sound of a guinea pig! ^_^

  28. BeckyMonster says:

    Just checked out Goths In Hot Weather… PRICELESS!!!!!!!

    We always dressed up AFTER dark, so maybe I wasn’t so dedicated to my personal emotional abyss (HA!). Ahhhhh, peoples. They are such silly creatures.

  29. I don’t think that’s a kitchen. It is actually a cleverly disguised wildlife preserve area. To be forever maintained in its natural state as a sanctuary for guinea pigs. Do not disturb their, um, nesting grounds. Guinea pig whirling and wheeking is protected by law. So please stay on the marked trail. (Like the comic strip)
    As you can see, it is blocked off, um, to stop vehicle access. Camping is not allowed but there are picnic areas.
    And, no hunting! And no nudity, um, without a permit.

  30. Laurie C says:

    Heh. The piggies get to run around while I clean their ginormous C&C cage… which is so big it is sort of like a wildlife preserve area pyrit!. The vinegar jug is there to prevent escapage behind the fridge and stove from which I’d not be able to extract them…I ran out of small heavy box-like objects so that was the next convenient thing. A 50% vinegar solution makes everything tidy and removes lingering smells… and the vinegar smell goes away pretty fast too. 🙂

  31. I was hoping the vinegar was for their salad.

  32. AuntieMame says:

    Oh, no, pyrit. Piggles much prefer bleu cheese to vinaigrette.

  33. Laurie C says:

    Heh…. no… but my kitchen does seem to be full of salady-things…. like the greens in the dishrack… and the hay on the counter… and the vegetables on the cutting board….

  34. thenotewriter says:

    That’s the most adorable thing I’ve even seen.
    *monotone voice facial expression*

    *steals piggies*

  35. Oui, eet ees veray au naturale, and salady.

  36. When I lived in my large apt years ago, I used to closed the doors in the kitchen, turn my hedgehogs loose, put the dwarf hammies in their balls and let the mayhem explode. The hammies loved to zoom toward the hedgies and I’ve seen my hedgie flinch, balled up real fast once he spied a hammie heading his way. I had to keep the boys and girl hedgies separated cuz one boy would get excited. I even had to block off behind the fridge for the hedgies loved to get back there, and what a pain it was to extract them. It was a fairly large, open kitchen, so it was great for the animals to play. Not to mention it was easy to clean up the old vinyl floor. Alas, it’s not so easy to do it in my house now, unless I turn my bathtub into a playpen. It’s easier to use a kiddie pool as a pen now.

  37. Laurie C says:

    aw… that sounds cute Joy! my kitchen is the biggest linoleum surface I have… and is the easiest space to make pig-friendly…

  38. Laurie C says:

    thenotewriter, it’s even more adorable when they race around their cage (it’s 5’x2.5′ with a loft)… adorable except for the hay and litter they kick up and out of it…

  39. Katrina says:

    Laurie C- Congratulations on being a great guinea pig mamma. AuntieMame-you are correct, as usual!

    I think I told you that I had a co-worker who would drink a glass of vinegar, at work, every day. She eventually got me fired. Ah, yes, all that vinegar had to go somewhere! I’d much rather it clean out animal cages.

  40. What did you do Katrina, put baking soda in her vinegar? Whoosh!
    Yep, yer fired. 😉

  41. ithinkiatetoomuch says:

    They live in a Guinea Pig Sty!

  42. love the tribble noises

    however, i wouldn’t let neicy nash in that kitchen. those peegs would be re-named mayhem & foolishness.

  43. freetomato says:

    The guineas are adorable but my first reaction was “OMG that messy kitchen is giving me hives!!!!” Now that I know you are sacrificing tidiness for guinea-joy I feel better 🙂 I wish I could have one (like I want goth bunny) but again, my Rat Terriorist would not approve 😦

  44. Laurie C says:

    The kitchen is typically cleaner than that, freetomato, that was just the same day as farmer’s market day and cage cleaning day, so the kitchen cleanup happens last after the piggies are back in their nice clean home…

  45. You know, in Peru, Guinea pigs are food.

    No, really. They’re a staple of the diet.

    I wonder if they call it Guinea bacon.

  46. maybe the piggy is just trying to see the new trailer for “G-Force” where guinea piggies save the world!!!


    you need to add the h t t p and the dubs, of course

  47. I never heard piggies making that noise before, just the scared squealing, ” Weet! Weet! Weet!”

    @thicktortiethintabby I had problem with cat pee odor too…cats peeing and somehow peeing right over the side of the litter pan, I got a cover for my litter (less smell and helped curtail pee spraying everywheres) and then I started using Arm and Hammer cat litter, the clumping kind. It’s waaaayyy cheaper than Fresh Step and the kind for multiple cats (I can’t remember the name, brain fart) AND it really eliminated all the order and clumps really well. Course, I have to scoop it every day, but it works!

  48. order=odor, oops.

  49. hon glad says:

    Doom and gloom pervade the room untill I zoom about it.

  50. I wonder if Laurie actually cooks with all of that on the floor or if this is a special occasion?

    Can’t be any worse than having two cats underfoot.

  51. No way… I thought my exBF and I were the only ones who would name something “(title) Nibbles.” Ours (now his) is Sir Nibbles. It’s okay, though, cuz I got custody of a bunch of his books and have my own piglet.

    This piggums is too prosh. Must…snorf… And gel his wee hairses into a fauxhawk…

  52. loeilalice says:

    I love this video and the ham realm, but what’s with the cooking range? It looks like it’s melted….?!
    As for cleaning….
    I put a few tablespoons of baking soda in the litter box every time I replace significant amount of clumping litter — it works as well as those perfumy expensive litter fresheners ….and it is safe of the kitties.
    And white vinegar is good for everything ! I also mix half vinegar and half “natural all purpose cleaner” in an old spray bottle and spray it in the shower, the sink, and the toilet bowl – then using a soft scraper sponge I clean ecologically using a bit of elbow grease; we have very hard water here so limescale deposits are always everywhere sitting water is.
    I have reduced my cleaning products to very few, ecological, cost effective products….
    where there’s a will….and ideas….:-)

  53. darkshines says:

    Haha, the image of a steampunk guinea pig warms this guinea pig loving steampunks heart ^_^

    Darkload Nibbles is an AWESOME name!

  54. danielie says:

    Wow, I just realized that I got first comment for the first time. That’s pretty cool! 🙂

    Oh, and I totally didn’t say anything about the “cute top” mentioned– it’s from ShanaLogic! There’s really awesome stuff there. 😀

  55. Is that a Bekvam from Ikea in the corner of the kitchen? Wheek wheek wheek!

  56. Vanessa says:

    Hey Laurie, nice setup for the piggies. What is that on the counter to the right? Was there something moving in it?

  57. freetomato says:

    Didn’t mean to be a jerk, Laurie – sorry if I sounded that way. Glass of vino + tired = typing without thinking about how it sounded first 🙂 My apologies.

  58. marion banks-wilkinson says:

    Love cute little piggies..but just to get a reality check folks back were they come from they were left to run around the home and then when its dinner time smack on the head, wack it flat and fry it! not sure if peeps in South American country of origin still live like that but fried gp is national dish of somewere. 😦

  59. freetomato says:

    Marion, I recently watched “No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain” filmed in (I believe) Brazil. Yes, he at roasted guinea 😦

  60. The movement on the counter is a reflection of the very busy Whistle Pigs…

    Great vid! And I LOVE LOVE LOVE the grass on the counter to the left…

    Grass for EVERYONE!!! *regal wave of the hand*…

    LOVE your guinea pigs!!

  61. freetomato says:

    He ate it too…..

  62. ps. EVERYTHING breathing is edible. Everything.

    Watch the vid and just enjoy guinea pigs being NOT eaten. We all know they are eaten in other cultures… So were we…

  63. Good grief… smallest kitchen ever! How do you even open the fridge door o_O

  64. Kar, you make me sad. 😦 I remember years ago, a friend of mine logged in and said “OMG YOU KNOW THAT THING WE LOVE? THERE IS A WORD FOR IT.” And we put that word into google, and “steampunk” turned up a paltry handful of pages and a wikipedia article that was barely more than a stub and only had a couple of links in. The only merchandise was an offshoot page of a guy who made cyberpunk dreadfalls with some clockwork bits in. Way ahead of the curve, that guy.

    I hate to be the hipster kid who’s all “oh man I loved it before it was popular,” but I did. I used to look for books with “that aesthetic” before I knew it had a word, LOL. However! These whippersnappers seem to associate steampunk with the Victorian era and I was more of a pulp fan (with Wild West tendencies, admitted) with dogfights and biplanes and blind patriotism commentary.

    Also I confess that I wholeheartedly support the Steampunk Revolution because it’s made incorporating “that aesthetic” into my life way, way, WAY easier. The more the merrier! Let’s buy goggles and read Lovecraft together =3

    Emo Bunny and Goth Guinea need to have adorable impossible hybrid babies. The thought just made my heart twist in a painful sort of fashion, which I am sure is deeply appropriate, given the context. Goth Guinea needs a nose ring.

  65. Katrina says:

    pyrit, I swear to all that is holy, if I had thought of it, I would have done it. What a missed opportunity. I’m gafawing over hear, retro-plotting. Yes, yesssssss, it could have worked! Damn. She tap danced, too- talk about your pregnant possibilities.
    I didn’t do anything to her, she is just one of those people who gave up her soul for entrance into a twisted social rank, and decided that I wasn’t an appropriate co-worker. In retrospect, I thank her. I GOTTA BE ME!!!!!!!!!

  66. OK, I only made it to 2 minutes and had to pause. Nobody tell me how it ends!

  67. darkshines says:

    Nicole, come over and join us at, we have Earl Grey 😉

  68. Abbey’s bigger bigger brother went off to the ROTC Leadership Training today. Much sadness and anxiety. 20 years we spent keeping him safe and now he is in the Army-ROTC; makes me want to cry. I’ll miss him for the month he is gone- may I please have an temporary additional animal companion for the time? I finally got him box trained and all. Sad, sad day in Central Connecticut. I’ll take anything with legs. No loaches or snakes need apply. Watcha got for me, CO?

  69. Yeah, I have no idea why people look at black clothes and go “keep the sharp objects away from them” but look at the same clothes in brown and ask where they found those crinolines.

    I went to a talk last year where I asked a scifi magazine editor why steampunk was suddenly big all of a sudden. He gave three reasons:

    1. It’s very DUI. Anybody can hot glue squeely stuff to something you already have. Personally, I love it when they strip away stuff to give a steampunk vibe.
    [Do you maybe mean “DIY”? – Ed.]

    2. It’s frankly, aesthetically appealing to men and women. Go full leather fetish (brown mind you), wear a 15 ft train w/ your grandmother’s cameo or a pair of dirty work clothes and some goggles. Apply either eyeliner or dirt smudges to face. It all works.

    3. It’s a great “do over.” If you don’t like the sterile future of a lot of later 20th C scifi, go back to the nineteenth century and go another way.

    I still have no idea what steampunk music is, I had hoped it was Black Flag on a squeezebox or Buzzocks played fast on a victriola but it’s, not.

  70. darkshines says:

    Take it from me hunny, ANY music labelling itself as steampunk is usually RUBBISH. I hope Abney Park or Vernian Process come to defend themselves now, lol.

  71. Merlin' Muse says:

    Too cute!!! The piggies remind me of the little cars at Disneyland’s Autopia. Starting and stopping and zooming and bumping. (Was just there last Tuesday for my birfday.)

  72. And I thought my kitchen was a mess……………

  73. darkshines, one of steampunk bands was being interviewed and they mentioned that it takes up to five hours for the girls to get “suited up” for a performance. All I could think of was that it doesn’t leave a lot of time to warm up or practice let alone a sound check.

  74. My Guinea is more goth.

  75. darkshines says:

    Exactly Kar. I’d rather listen to 1920s jazz on vinyl 🙂

  76. Merlin’ Muse, is that your dilute tortie? Such a gorgeous kitty!

  77. Tortuguasan says:

    hmm you can’t get fresher cuy than that..

  78. OMG…those little guys are SO cute!!!

  79. Arr Arr says:

    LOVE that the kitchen is such a wonderful playground for the piggies, but I think I’d think twice before eating any raisens.

  80. Kar — Babes in Toyland via telegraph. 😆

  81. Wow, I used to live in that apartment. And my Fuzzy did get behind the fridge! I didn’t think she could do it. I was freaking out imagining that she had been crushed by the motor and knowing I couldn’t get her out (my first pig, can you tell?). Then husband pulled out the fridge for me and I rescued her. Whew, it was an emotional scene for me.

  82. Theo, after some of the groups I’ve heard, I’d settle for a “Golden Slippers” as a deathmetal ballad or Voltaire doing his interpretation of “The Old Armchair.”

  83. I usually find that if I want Steampunk music it’s sufficient to make a careful selection of The Decemberists, mostly B-sides, and leave it to that.

  84. Steampunk music? What is that? Like.. the theme from Nausicaa? Wurlitzer Band Organ? Time Bandits soundtrack?

  85. Thrash calliope, Patito. 20,000 leagues under the mosh pit. 😉

  86. himmebabies says:

    cutie pig, our wiggles aka pig-pig is noming a grade A carrot and celery this very minute. we love the squeakies, everytime I walk by her cage she reee-reee-reeeks for treats!

  87. Laurie, love the piggies!! Ours have to stay on the kitchen floor when we clean their C&C cage, as well, but they are not nearly so frisky! They will run laps around the cage, though! What’s the other one’s name? He has “butt-horns” just like one of ours…we adore the butt-horns.

  88. Theo, do they sing about morlocks?

  89. More or less.

  90. darkshines says:

    In all honesty, there IS no such thing as steampunk music, it is an aesthetic movement, not an aural one. However in the true style of cashing in on anything that seems fashionable, a few bands calling themselves steampunk have been popping up. They can easily be spotted by their professionally made/store bought outfits (that defeats the point!) and band bios that state they have been together for two years or less. Its sad really. The best steampunk friendly musicians are ones that don’t claim to be so, but still fit in, like Dr Steel or Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer. Sadly exposure to any “underground” movement means we all get tarred with the same “goths in brown” brush until it all blows over again.

  91. @Darkshines, I LOVE Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer!

  92. darkshines says:

    Hes a legend, no? I sincerly hope you are coming to our convivial in September, I’m doing my best to get Mr B to perform on Sunday night 😀 Just google “steampunk convivial”, its going to be in Lincoln, in the UK 🙂

  93. Now, now… Let’s not go bad mouthing bands in one forum, and then playing nice with them in another. It isn’t very hard to find these kinds of posts these days, what with the magic of search engines. While I agree that most of the stuff that calls it self “steampunk” in music is pretty mediocre, I’d like to think that our music is a bit more unique than that. For one thing we call our music Steamwave (because it’s a funny name, and most people get that we are making fun of ourselves and the genre in general). We also concentrate 100% on the music side of things. We have no fashion sense to speak of. Everyone in our project has their own style, but we don’t spend 4 hours prepping costumes or wardrobes. I just put the hawk up, throw on a shirt, tie and vest, and jump around on stage having fun. if other people dig our show, awesome! if not, we’re still having a great time. And in the end that’s all that really matters.