Friday Haiku: Laugh, Ferret, Laugh

Merriment can wait / Ferret clown’s smile wanes until / Your haiku cheers him


How do they all pack into that little car, Juan D.?



  1. What’s scarier than a clown? A clown ferret! Run! For the love of all that is good holy and pure, run!

  2. Marketeer says:

    Is that Toad the ferret?

  3. I am attempting
    To maintain my dignity
    In this dotted hell.

  4. Katiedid says:

    For this you will die!
    Do not go to sleep tonight!
    You will not wake up!

  5. Lizzums says:

    Duh… the ferret is the real-life Pez dispenser, only he hides goodies instead of spitting them out! Must be a Pez convention.

  6. MadameX says:

    Orange ruffle trim
    Multi polka dot jumper
    Your shoes, my toilet

  7. Katiedid says:

    Today’s my birthday
    Why you keep me in a pouch?
    I just want my pez

  8. chanpon says:

    Call me a clown huh.
    Remember the old show ‘IT’?
    Pennywise still lives.

  9. BeckyMonster says:

    Evil orange outfit,
    My owner surely hates me,
    Get me a damn drink!

  10. LOLDemon says:

    I think the video needs to be looped and accompanied by the Benny Hill theme music.

  11. *screams, runs away*

  12. Polka dot tube sock,
    what a ridiculous hat.
    Ow! Ow! Don’t hurt me.

  13. Factory defect:
    this Pez dispenser puts out
    pellets from wrong end.

  14. scary-looking clothes
    the transformation begins
    I’m no Pez ferret!

  15. Kristabelle says:

    Satanical clowns
    Entertainment in a sock
    Pez is redemption

  16. LOL @Bryn’s #13. LOVE IT!

    [Yeah, that one got a snicker out of me too – Ed.]

  17. Rudy Giuliani
    afraid that little ferret is
    not the only clown

  18. During the fittings
    I was led to believe that
    This would be more chic.

    I have to ask you:
    Does this outfit make me look
    Fat in any way?

  19. Pussytoes says:

    Wicked white hooo-man!
    Sell Me at Your Garage Sale?
    Fangs in Breasticles

  20. gloom raider says:

    Fear not the clown suit!
    When your owners least expect,
    You can bite their butts.

  21. Is this a matchink?
    Eyes Pez silhouettes at length
    A really mad sock

  22. Severus says:

    Lon Chaney is proud
    A ferret in his role
    Yay Cute overload

  23. Emerson says:

    Wait! Don’t run away!
    It’s me, Fran! So, you know that
    Mardi Gras party?

  24. Donning fancy clothes
    Humiliation mounting
    Woe! living with clowns

  25. claudemarie says:

    It’s calculating
    my long slow terrible death
    this ferret in dots

  26. Laugh, Kookaferret!
    Laugh, Kookaferret! Oh how
    Gay your life must be.

  27. Where is the audio
    In the ferret clown car vid?
    We’re missing wotting!

  28. The sound works for me.
    It’s just cardboard scratching, though.
    You’re sure it’s plugged in?

  29. You think I’m a clown
    Am I here to amuse you
    How am I funny

  30. wow some kids will have nightmares about that ferret clown

  31. Coulrophobia
    Abnormal fear of a clown
    And who would blame you

  32. Janet Aquadro says:

    Jubilation reigns,
    all woodland creatures rejoice,
    Ferret’s fall is complete

  33. Ferrets redefine
    The meaning of “white lightning”
    Albino moonshine

  34. Ferrets have the key
    To perpetual motion
    But we’ll ne’er find it

  35. Somewhere in the couch.
    With pocket change, the remote,
    And six more ferrets.

  36. 🙂

  37. Laieanna says:

    See the ferret clown
    Staring with his beady eyes
    Daring you to laugh

  38. Von Zeppelin says:

    “Vesti la giubba”
    Ruggero Leoncavallo
    wrote. (Not for ferrets)

  39. Von Zeppelin says:

    Oops. Eight syllables in the second line. Just read the Italian name real fast, OK?

  40. Fair is fair, ferret.
    Come to the fair, ferret;
    Ride the ferret wheel.

  41. Von Zep, lots o’ elisions. 😀

  42. Weasly clown says
    “Finita la commedia!”

  43. Molto fiasco!
    Toglierlo! Take it off!
    Von Zepelinni!

  44. Bad economy;
    One clown ferret for pile of
    collectible pez

  45. Don’t they understand
    How much I hate orange trim
    No Pez for them now.

  46. pez dispensers
    ferret pierrot, a cane
    fellini: action!

  47. Barnum and Baily
    Never anticipated
    Mustelid three-ring

  48. Laugh at me will you?
    Pez dispenser up the nose.
    That will shut you up.

  49. Beady eyes have I
    The clown with a sneer said
    And my teeth so sharp

  50. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    A box of ferrets:
    The only thing that’s better
    Than a box of wine.

  51. LOL@Bryn!

    Nice consonance, T.U.M.

    Vicious snarl will hide
    My true ferret emotions:
    I — I feel pretty!

  52. Dose fewets are jaust hecka gud luking.
    Quite Fwankly I don’na tink I’ve evur seen fewets in a box.
    We moistly hang out in tubes.

    Gud videeo Cuteoverload. dis was a gud wun.
    Powst more like dese and wun day u guys jaust mite make it in dis biz.

    Avid weeder,
    Ferretbunny de tird.

  53. enrichment efforts
    of ferret rehab center
    results may vary

  54. left out of this act
    no more ferret clowns fit in
    last pez dispenser

  55. kibblenibble says:

    These orange pompoms
    enhance the natural peenk
    of my nosicle

  56. Ferret Clown Party
    Dispense with the pez candy
    Evil Ferret Clown

  57. Kristen says:

    If she puts him
    back in ferret pouch
    comes out as rabbit clown
    (or ferret in rabbit dress)

  58. Go thorn go, encore!
    Argyle Donkeypants, agreed!
    Ferrets, clowns, pez, oh my!

  59. catloveschanel says:

    Boxes Intoxicate
    Just like the Wine,
    Soon it will be Box-Rehab Time.

  60. Evil Ferret Clown
    ferrets frolick in clown car
    Pez candy for all

  61. Pussytoes says:

    Funny, Tiny Clown
    Pagliacci You Say?
    Caruso Your Not!

  62. Lucy's Mommeh says:

    (this is from my friend Tyger)

    Angry Ferret
    Dressed Ridiculously by Unknowing Victim
    Why are Hospital Bills so Expensive?

  63. it is my party
    so i’ll cry if i want to
    fools ran out of cake

  64. Lucy's Mommeh says:

    And from Lisa….
    I’m not an evil clown…come closer and I’ll give you a big red nose!

  65. Mary (the first) says:

    Who said that orange
    Is a flattering color?
    No one that I know!!

  66. your crafts magazine
    helps promote self expression
    cancel subscription

  67. danielie says:

    Forgive and forget?
    No. This tasteless outfit has
    Put you on my List.

  68. Long Pez candy treat
    Long, fuzzy squiggley ferret
    Corgis are long, too.

  69. I look horrible
    In this unflattering garb!
    Revenge will be sweet

  70. Pat Trenner says:

    Knee socks with eyes
    in Wonder Bread polka dots
    Do not try this at home.

  71. revenge, it is sweet
    tonight, while you sleep, I strike
    pee on your iPhone

  72. My shrink said to me
    The whole world is but a stage
    And you are the clown

  73. Mauderules says:

    Mock a mustelid?
    Not such a good idea:
    Sredni Vashtar won.

  74. badmunkee says:

    This is merely a reminder of why I’m half-phobic of ferrets. While they DO function as cute animal-slinky toys if you place front and back paws on opposite hands, weirds me out that they can fit into such tight spaces. Seeing them spill en masse from the box is going to give me bad dreams tonight…

  75. berthaservant says:

    Jestered Contraband
    At least in California
    Elsewhere, just bizarre.

  76. Happy clown ferret…
    It will eat you in your sleep.

  77. Totally unrelateed to Haikus but fun none the less…

    Ferret Clown Sits in the Human Hand
    Merry Merry King of all this Land
    Laugh Ferret Clown Laugh Ferret Clown
    Isn’t your life Grand.

  78. 260Oakley says:

    Marie Antoineferret
    Says to the birthday masses
    “Let them eat cupcakes”

  79. Dr. Emile Schufhausen says:

    Pagliacci says,
    “I’m more than knee socks with eyes,
    I’m one grumpy clown.”

  80. Dr. Emile Schufhausen says:

    So far, it’s definitely Bryn #13 for the win. So dang funny.

  81. Polka-dot knee sock
    Albino Pavarotti:
    “I Ferrliacci”

  82. skippymom says:

    So, I’m away from here for one day. One stinking day, during which there are five new posts, including a kittens/library/children’s book one where all the other librarians here get to hang out while I’m home doing chores. I come back today and all we get is this ridiculous haiku ferret. Wow, thanks.

    Damn you, clown ferret!
    I wanted to see kittens.
    You’ve messed up my day.

    (shuffles off, scowling and grumbling to self)

  83. wups! Sorry, Bryn, didn’t see #12 before posting, and ‘tube sock’ is betterer.

  84. trinky dink says:

    No no no no no!
    No no no no no no no!
    Get me outa here!

  85. Oakey it should be let them eat Pez LOL

  86. stop it stop it stop
    stop it stop it quit it stop
    stop stop it stop it

  87. Kim Evans says:

    Kneesock’s gots dots?

  88. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    You’re laughing now, dude.
    Wait til this clown suit is off —
    Your car keys are mine.

    Revenge is a dish
    Not best served cold, as oft said,
    But with white frosting.

  89. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    Extra Credit:

    Pez Dispensers?
    Prizes for ferret contests
    Note tubes in background.

    My ferret Wheezie
    Took Second in straight tube race
    Ferret Olympics

    Other fun events:
    Cup tip, towel ride, sock race,
    Paper sack escape.

  90. Christay says:

    I pledge allegiance/
    To the Flag of Ferret Clowns/
    Now await your end

  91. Over the top human wackiness! Loves it! ;D

    You know and it’s quite hypnotic, really. Try looking away.

  92. bats :[ says:

    I have pointy teeth
    and you will feel each of them
    I’ll get you for this

  93. Mary (the first) says:

    Ferrets are teh qte
    Qte, qte, qute, cute, kyoot, cute, qte
    Polka dots and all.

  94. Looked just like this one,
    The first ferret I met this week.
    No clown suit on, though.

  95. Really, just this week I met a ferret for the first time ever. He was white but definitely not wearing a clown suit. What are the odds of this first encounter being followed by a ferret featured Friday haiku!

  96. Oops. 1 too many syllables in the middle line. My 6th grade teacher is disappointed.

  97. Penny-wise ferret
    and a pound-foolish human.
    Clown costume’s not cheap.

  98. I’m getting more of a Shakespeare vibe from this guy than haiku

    “in what manner hast I offended thee? That thou wouldst of my person make such mummery…”

  99. puddlepeppers says:

    This clown wears big dots.
    On the red carpet he trots.
    “People” writes “Not hot…”

  100. puddlepeppers says:

    Ferret Friends…Pyrit,
    Theresa, A. Donkeypants,
    Puddles, Toc Talk, Bryn.

  101. An Orange Poofball
    Adorns the flattered ferret
    In funfetti robes

  102. puddlepeppers says:

    My favorite comment is Theo for “somewhere in the couch…”

    [Hehe. 😀 – Ed.]

  103. Imahaint says:

    Dang! Jon & Kate + 8 – 4….

  104. Ferrets in a box
    Three of them to be precise
    Jumping out so fast

  105. Thorn @47 – brilliant! Just brilliant! 😀

  106. I´m gonna have nightmares now. 😉

  107. i’ve noticed a trend
    lots of ferrets here lately
    stoats are SO last spring

  108. Maureen Heartwood says:

    Hi folks – seriously, the top photo is my little girl Elise in her clown costume for the Ferret Rescue Society of Ottawa’s 2009 Spring Ferret Frolic. The costume is handmade by me. Elise has worn a number of costumes over the years without wreaking bloody revenge – she is one of the few ferrets who really doesn’t mind them, at least for a few minutes. For those interested, she is six years old, weighs about a pound, and is totally deaf.

    The “Pez dispensers” in the background were also made by me – they are tippy clowns for the Clown Tipping game.

  109. Live Pez Dispenser
    Not what was seen on TV
    This is not candy…

  110. Life is like a box
    Of ferrets: it makes no sense,
    But you’ve got to laugh.

  111. Dale! 🙂

  112. ikaszub haras says:

    The second line is eight syllables. Did you people EVER notice that?

  113. It’s funny.

    The owner of that ferret video put a live ferret in the freezer to put it to sleep than take it to the Vet.

    then that one time they dropped a table and killed another.

    Or that one time when they left a sick ferret alone for a weekend to find it dead when they came back

    or that one time…

  114. Elise the clown ferret was a huge hit on Twitter. So happy to see her on CO! Love the haikus, too. 🙂

  115. G’Won, try and give me a kissy,
    You’re lipless!!!