This is merely a reminder of why I’m half-phobic of ferrets. While they DO function as cute animal-slinky toys if you place front and back paws on opposite hands, weirds me out that they can fit into such tight spaces. Seeing them spill en masse from the box is going to give me bad dreams tonight…
So, I’m away from here for one day. One stinking day, during which there are five new posts, including a kittens/library/children’s book one where all the other librarians here get to hang out while I’m home doing chores. I come back today and all we get is this ridiculous haiku ferret. Wow, thanks.
Damn you, clown ferret!
I wanted to see kittens.
You’ve messed up my day.
Really, just this week I met a ferret for the first time ever. He was white but definitely not wearing a clown suit. What are the odds of this first encounter being followed by a ferret featured Friday haiku!
Hi folks – seriously, the top photo is my little girl Elise in her clown costume for the Ferret Rescue Society of Ottawa’s 2009 Spring Ferret Frolic. The costume is handmade by me. Elise has worn a number of costumes over the years without wreaking bloody revenge – she is one of the few ferrets who really doesn’t mind them, at least for a few minutes. For those interested, she is six years old, weighs about a pound, and is totally deaf.
The “Pez dispensers” in the background were also made by me – they are tippy clowns for the Clown Tipping game.
What’s scarier than a clown? A clown ferret! Run! For the love of all that is good holy and pure, run!
Is that Toad the ferret?
I am attempting
To maintain my dignity
In this dotted hell.
For this you will die!
Do not go to sleep tonight!
You will not wake up!
Duh… the ferret is the real-life Pez dispenser, only he hides goodies instead of spitting them out! Must be a Pez convention.
Orange ruffle trim
Multi polka dot jumper
Your shoes, my toilet
Today’s my birthday
Why you keep me in a pouch?
I just want my pez
Call me a clown huh.
Remember the old show ‘IT’?
Pennywise still lives.
Evil orange outfit,
My owner surely hates me,
Get me a damn drink!
I think the video needs to be looped and accompanied by the Benny Hill theme music.
*screams, runs away*
Polka dot tube sock,
what a ridiculous hat.
Ow! Ow! Don’t hurt me.
Factory defect:
this Pez dispenser puts out
pellets from wrong end.
scary-looking clothes
the transformation begins
I’m no Pez ferret!
Satanical clowns
Entertainment in a sock
Pez is redemption
LOL @Bryn’s #13. LOVE IT!
[Yeah, that one got a snicker out of me too - Ed.]
Rudy Giuliani
afraid that little ferret is
not the only clown
During the fittings
I was led to believe that
This would be more chic.
I have to ask you:
Does this outfit make me look
Fat in any way?
Wicked white hooo-man!
Sell Me at Your Garage Sale?
Fangs in Breasticles
Fear not the clown suit!
When your owners least expect,
You can bite their butts.
Is this a matchink?
Eyes Pez silhouettes at length
A really mad sock
Lon Chaney is proud
A ferret in his role
Yay Cute overload
Wait! Don’t run away!
It’s me, Fran! So, you know that
Mardi Gras party?
Donning fancy clothes
Humiliation mounting
Woe! living with clowns
It’s calculating
my long slow terrible death
this ferret in dots
Laugh, Kookaferret!
Laugh, Kookaferret! Oh how
Gay your life must be.
Where is the audio
In the ferret clown car vid?
We’re missing wotting!
The sound works for me.
It’s just cardboard scratching, though.
You’re sure it’s plugged in?
You think I’m a clown
Am I here to amuse you
How am I funny
wow some kids will have nightmares about that ferret clown
Coulrophobia
Abnormal fear of a clown
And who would blame you
Jubilation reigns,
all woodland creatures rejoice,
Ferret’s fall is complete
Ferrets redefine
The meaning of “white lightning”
Albino moonshine
Ferrets have the key
To perpetual motion
But we’ll ne’er find it
Somewhere in the couch.
With pocket change, the remote,
And six more ferrets.
See the ferret clown
Staring with his beady eyes
Daring you to laugh
“Vesti la giubba”
Ruggero Leoncavallo
wrote. (Not for ferrets)
Oops. Eight syllables in the second line. Just read the Italian name real fast, OK?
Fair is fair, ferret.
Come to the fair, ferret;
Ride the ferret wheel.
Von Zep, lots o’ elisions.
Weasly clown says
“Finita la commedia!”
Hahahahaha!
Molto fiasco!
Toglierlo! Take it off!
Von Zepelinni!
Bad economy;
One clown ferret for pile of
collectible pez
Don’t they understand
How much I hate orange trim
No Pez for them now.
pez dispensers
ferret pierrot, a cane
fellini: action!
Barnum and Baily
Never anticipated
Mustelid three-ring
Laugh at me will you?
Pez dispenser up the nose.
That will shut you up.
Beady eyes have I
The clown with a sneer said
And my teeth so sharp
A box of ferrets:
The only thing that’s better
Than a box of wine.
LOL@Bryn!
Nice consonance, T.U.M.
Vicious snarl will hide
My true ferret emotions:
I — I feel pretty!
Dose fewets are jaust hecka gud luking.
Quite Fwankly I don’na tink I’ve evur seen fewets in a box.
We moistly hang out in tubes.
Gud videeo Cuteoverload. dis was a gud wun.
Powst more like dese and wun day u guys jaust mite make it in dis biz.
Avid weeder,
Ferretbunny de tird.
+++++++++++++++++++++
http://www.Ferretbunny.com
enrichment efforts
of ferret rehab center
results may vary
left out of this act
no more ferret clowns fit in
last pez dispenser
These orange pompoms
enhance the natural peenk
of my nosicle
Ferret Clown Party
Dispense with the pez candy
Evil Ferret Clown
If she puts him
back in ferret pouch
comes out as rabbit clown
(or ferret in rabbit dress)
Go thorn go, encore!
Argyle Donkeypants, agreed!
Ferrets, clowns, pez, oh my!
Boxes Intoxicate
Just like the Wine,
Soon it will be Box-Rehab Time.
Evil Ferret Clown
ferrets frolick in clown car
Pez candy for all
Funny, Tiny Clown
Pagliacci You Say?
Caruso Your Not!
(this is from my friend Tyger)
Angry Ferret
Dressed Ridiculously by Unknowing Victim
Why are Hospital Bills so Expensive?
it is my party
so i’ll cry if i want to
fools ran out of cake
And from Lisa….
I’m not an evil clown…come closer and I’ll give you a big red nose!
Who said that orange
Is a flattering color?
No one that I know!!
your crafts magazine
helps promote self expression
cancel subscription
Forgive and forget?
No. This tasteless outfit has
Put you on my List.
Long Pez candy treat
Long, fuzzy squiggley ferret
Corgis are long, too.
I look horrible
In this unflattering garb!
Revenge will be sweet
Knee socks with eyes
in Wonder Bread polka dots
Do not try this at home.
revenge, it is sweet
tonight, while you sleep, I strike
pee on your iPhone
My shrink said to me
The whole world is but a stage
And you are the clown
Mock a mustelid?
Not such a good idea:
Sredni Vashtar won.
This is merely a reminder of why I’m half-phobic of ferrets. While they DO function as cute animal-slinky toys if you place front and back paws on opposite hands, weirds me out that they can fit into such tight spaces. Seeing them spill en masse from the box is going to give me bad dreams tonight…
Jestered Contraband
At least in California
Elsewhere, just bizarre.
Happy clown ferret…
It will eat you in your sleep.
DO NOT GO TO SLEEP!!
Totally unrelateed to Haikus but fun none the less…
Ferret Clown Sits in the Human Hand
Merry Merry King of all this Land
Laugh Ferret Clown Laugh Ferret Clown
Isn’t your life Grand.
Marie Antoineferret
Says to the birthday masses
“Let them eat cupcakes”
Pagliacci says,
“I’m more than knee socks with eyes,
I’m one grumpy clown.”
So far, it’s definitely Bryn #13 for the win. So dang funny.
Polka-dot knee sock
Albino Pavarotti:
“I Ferrliacci”
So, I’m away from here for one day. One stinking day, during which there are five new posts, including a kittens/library/children’s book one where all the other librarians here get to hang out while I’m home doing chores. I come back today and all we get is this ridiculous haiku ferret. Wow, thanks.
Damn you, clown ferret!
I wanted to see kittens.
You’ve messed up my day.
(shuffles off, scowling and grumbling to self)
wups! Sorry, Bryn, didn’t see #12 before posting, and ‘tube sock’ is betterer.
No no no no no!
No no no no no no no!
Get me outa here!
Oakey it should be let them eat Pez LOL
stop it stop it stop
stop it stop it quit it stop
stop stop it stop it
Kneesock’s gots dots?
You’re laughing now, dude.
Wait til this clown suit is off –
Your car keys are mine.
Revenge is a dish
Not best served cold, as oft said,
But with white frosting.
Extra Credit:
Pez Dispensers?
Prizes for ferret contests
Note tubes in background.
My ferret Wheezie
Took Second in straight tube race
Ferret Olympics
(1997)
Other fun events:
Cup tip, towel ride, sock race,
Paper sack escape.
I pledge allegiance/
To the Flag of Ferret Clowns/
Now await your end
Over the top human wackiness! Loves it! ;D
You know and it’s quite hypnotic, really. Try looking away.
I have pointy teeth
and you will feel each of them
I’ll get you for this
Ferrets are teh qte
Qte, qte, qute, cute, kyoot, cute, qte
Polka dots and all.
Looked just like this one,
The first ferret I met this week.
No clown suit on, though.
Really, just this week I met a ferret for the first time ever. He was white but definitely not wearing a clown suit. What are the odds of this first encounter being followed by a ferret featured Friday haiku!
Oops. 1 too many syllables in the middle line. My 6th grade teacher is disappointed.
Penny-wise ferret
and a pound-foolish human.
Clown costume’s not cheap.
I’m getting more of a Shakespeare vibe from this guy than haiku
“in what manner hast I offended thee? That thou wouldst of my person make such mummery…”
This clown wears big dots.
On the red carpet he trots.
“People” writes “Not hot…”
Ferret Friends…Pyrit,
Theresa, A. Donkeypants,
Puddles, Toc Talk, Bryn.
An Orange Poofball
Adorns the flattered ferret
In funfetti robes
My favorite comment is Theo for “somewhere in the couch…”
[Hehe.
- Ed.]
Dang! Jon & Kate + 8 – 4….
Ferrets in a box
Three of them to be precise
Jumping out so fast
Thorn @47 – brilliant! Just brilliant!
I´m gonna have nightmares now.
i’ve noticed a trend
lots of ferrets here lately
stoats are SO last spring
Hi folks – seriously, the top photo is my little girl Elise in her clown costume for the Ferret Rescue Society of Ottawa’s 2009 Spring Ferret Frolic. The costume is handmade by me. Elise has worn a number of costumes over the years without wreaking bloody revenge – she is one of the few ferrets who really doesn’t mind them, at least for a few minutes. For those interested, she is six years old, weighs about a pound, and is totally deaf.
The “Pez dispensers” in the background were also made by me – they are tippy clowns for the Clown Tipping game.
Live Pez Dispenser
Not what was seen on TV
This is not candy…
Life is like a box
Of ferrets: it makes no sense,
But you’ve got to laugh.
Dale!
The second line is eight syllables. Did you people EVER notice that?
It’s funny.
The owner of that ferret video put a live ferret in the freezer to put it to sleep than take it to the Vet.
then that one time they dropped a table and killed another.
Or that one time when they left a sick ferret alone for a weekend to find it dead when they came back
or that one time…
Elise the clown ferret was a huge hit on Twitter. So happy to see her on CO! Love the haikus, too.
G’Won, try and give me a kissy,
You’re lipless!!!