From The Cute Farmer’s Almanac

With the approach of Summer, be sure to check your Kitten Trees for the first fruit of the season.  Normally, the Kitten Tree will produce in mid-June, but occasionally a few kittens will drop early, and should be promptly harvested before they become confused and moldy.


They look ripe to me, Margaret S.



  1. Paunchie says:

    I love spotty faced kittehs!!

    Dey iz hot lookin fer shade?

  2. brinnann says:

    Are they organic?

  3. Kristabelle says:

    And we’re back to Peter, Paul & Mary…

    Kitten tree very pretty
    And the ktten flower is sweet,
    but the fruit of the poor kitten
    is impossible to eat…

    (too hairy, I suppose…)

  4. Trabb's Boy says:

    It’s not really a big deal. You can always cut off the confused and moldy bits and bake the rest into a really lovely pie.

  5. catloveschanel says:


    Tis a better taste than the blackbird pie.

    Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,
    Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
    When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,
    Oh wasn’t that a dainty dish to set before the king?

  6. 260Oakley says:

    Rehearsal for the all-feline production of “Roots”.

  7. Nicolletta says:

    *scoops up kitties and RUNS!!!*

  8. Kathleen says:

    Maaaaan, I have 2 trees in my front yard and neither one is a kitty tree. Hmph.

  9. *I interrupt your cute snorgling to state: I WANT TO HOLD A KITTEN RIGHT NOW!*
    You may now return to your regularly scheduled squeeing.
    (promises self to give my kitterz xtra luvins as a balm to my guilty feelings for even thinking of taking a kitten home)

  10. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    Once kittens have been harvested, they should be placed in a warm, foofy location amidst matchingk sheets to ensure proper growth.

  11. Hmmm. I think the centres might be a bit soft still. *manhandles kittehs*

  12. DaytimeDeb says:

    I would LOVE to replace my nasty liquid amber tree (drops those awful brown spikey balls that people trip on) with a kitten tree. I think I can get my city to agree. Where does one find such a tree? I’m assuming a specialty garden center since I was at Home Depot yesterday and did not see this tree.

  13. Kitten dreams of the plains of Africa, after stalking and bringing down a wildebeast to feed the family and then resting in the shade of a baobob tree.

  14. michelle b. adams says:

    this must be the variegated kitten bush. I noticed they also come in solids, stripes, and the ever popular marmalade. (Sounds of tussling, scuffling, shopping cart crashing) Intercom: Management to Garden area STAT! Bring water hoses and riot gear! The kittenbush delivery truck is here, and the line has been queuing up since before dawn!!!!

  15. where can I order them trees?

  16. BonzoGal says:

    (Sticks corncob pipe in mouth, pushes straw hat up off brow)

    “Nossir, you just don’t get those good ol’ fashioned tree-ripened kittens like ya usta. My brother Willie and I usta steal ripe kittens off’n old man Johnson’s orchard, and light out to do some snorglin’ out behind the cow-shed. ‘Course, then my Ma would catch us and make us take the kittens back an’ offer to pay for ’em, seein’ as how they’d been be-snorgled an’ all, but ol’ man Johnson he’d just chuckle and tell us to keep ’em. An’ that’s how we started the Tree-Rype(TM) Fresh-U-Vac(TM) Olde-Tyme(TM) Kitten Corporation (All Rights Reserved).”

  17. BonzoGal – too funny! I LOVE “be-snorgled”. 🙂

  18. davidrusak says:

    Awww, confused and moldy.

  19. (swipes kitty tree)
    Lo, most favored peeps, hold steady, for I have delivered thee from temptashons!

    (anybody got a good kitten chutney recipe?)

  20. GingerBean says:

    LOL @BonzoGal! Genius!
    Nomtom, where do you come up with this stuff? Confused and moldy?!?! ROFLMAO

  21. Mary (the first) says:

    I want the one in the SE corner with the brown nose. They look all warm and gooey. YUM. Luckily I did snorgle my kitteh extra this morning so I’m not tempted to steal any of these kittehs.. .much!

  22. emudoug says:

    needs sugar!

  23. Bonbonz says:

    Here in Canadaland, we haz a winter kitteh tree version that iz harvested in teh coldest dayz of winter. The winter kitteh fruitz is sparkly crisp and full of bitez, never confused nor moldys. Nums!

  24. Candy Land? (headtilt)

  25. Susan A says:

    They must be ripe. Those are the ones you find under the trees.

  26. I think I must have had one o’deez kitten trees, and the fruit wound up in my house carried by pluffs of wind.

  27. Katrina says:

    I like the kitten fruit because it is ripe whenever you pick it, like cucumbers and peppers. Need a nibble/snorgle- just go out an pick yourself one. Need a big ol’ honkin’, full-meal snorgle for a party platter- just keep an eye on it and pick it when it gets to the right size! It takes planning, but boy that fresh from the tree taste is soooooooo worth it!

  28. Katrina – you are a partyplatter.

  29. I gotta phone my sister quick! here we were blaming stray tomcats for the ‘cat explosion’ on her farm, and it turns out she’s got a bumper crop of kitten trees!!! Our fortunes are made!!
    P.S. at last cat count, she had 22 on the property… and more on the way.

  30. varekai97X says:

    Lucas, I believe you are mistaken about the proper way to check for kitteh-fruit ripeness. The correct way is to gently shake the kitten, interspersed with smooches on the head. If the kitteh emits a yodelling noise, the kitteh is ripe.

    Also, the black and white kitteh looks the most confused. I will gladly take him before he starts to exhibit mold.

  31. brinnann says:

    varekai, I almost 😆 ‘d at that! (Dee boss, he eez sittingks across from me.)

  32. Noelegy says:

    Sometimes I feel confused and moldy.

  33. Juniper Jupiter says:

    ***bumrushes Nicolletta and grabs her shirt so she doesn’t land on kittehs, then I take my shoe off to incapacitate her with its musky goodness, then swipe the kittehs from her limp arms, running off and laughing maniacally*** MUWHAHAHAHA!!!


    You guys don’t wanna smell my feet…made my cat’s whiskers curl up one time

  34. sunnymum says:

    Black and white kitty is perfectly ripe; you can tell by the perfect pink of the nose.

  35. There actually was a kitten tree in Lois McMaster Bujold’s SF novel Cetaganda! Although it was a bit sad.

    This one is much happier! And super cute.

  36. ctsquirrel says:

    In front of the library I work at I swear we have a Kitten Bush. That thing spit out one kitten a day last year during kitten season. And they were all cute little gray ones. We found homes for them, no worries. Another service of the public library.

  37. berthaservant says:

    Bonzogal FTW!!! (I have nothing to add except that I, too, covet my neighbor’s kitty tree).

  38. Cholmondeley says:

    Bewitched, bothered, and be-snorgled… am I!

  39. chanpon says:

    I regularly rummage for discounted kitties, fallen from the tree and maybe slightly bruised, but perfectly fine. That’s how I got my last 3…they’re poi-fect, I tells ya’.

  40. leslie thomas says:

    Kristabelle — I thought that PP & M …& I… were the only humans remaining who fondly hum “Lemon Tree” & think of its gentle sweetness in the year 2009. It feels as refreshing, as a tall frosty glass/ lemonade in MidSummer…to hear someone else refer unto it. THANKS!!!

  41. NTMTOM, this was an examplar of “the scroll-down”. masterful.
    made even better by the text, which led some to scrutinize the leafy tree top for invisbuhl kittehs.
    [golf clap]

  42. Bob Loblaw says:

    Moldy or not, doesn’t matter, kittens are still good. Highly recommend them.

  43. riolinda says:

    I want a kitten tree! and yes, I agree, I’ll take them even when they are confused and moldy! 🙂

  44. That black/white one looks like a trouble maker. I want to adopts eet!

  45. Oh, my! I didn’t know we had those on this planet…I thought the only ones were raised on Cetaganda (_Cetaganda_, by Lois McMaster Bujold, where a kitten tree is exhibited by some eager high school gene-mappers). (no, I’m not Bujold, I just read her stuff. I can put it down any time, just…ask…me. Honest!).

    Cuter than Smurfs.

  46. puddlepeppers says:

    Katrina…cute idea: “party platter”.

  47. GIGGLE 🙂 I live on the West Coast of Canada and I believe that kitty trees will thrive here 🙂 In fact 🙂 I think kitty trees will produce year-round out here 🙂 If I knew where that tree is 🙂 I would sneak in and grab as many kitties as I could stuff under my hoodie 🙂 Nicolletta 🙂 we could both grab kitties and fill boxes with them 🙂

  48. puddlepeppers says:

    I wish I had a kitten bush. It’s some comfort that we once had kind of a duck tree
    when we lived in New Jersey. My dad was moonlighting at Quackenbush’s so
    that we could have bikes for Christmas. Let’s hear it for dads!

  49. SoCalSis says:

    Lois McMaster Bujold is the absolute queen of speculative fiction– adventure, romance, thrills, chills, intergalactic warfare, and Kitten Trees. Yes, the Kitten Trees were decidedly disturbing, but what an imagination! Start with Cordelia’s Honor and dive right in.

  50. Watch out for the mould – I had a dachshund in New York who actually became mouldy one summer after we tried to keep him cool with the garden hose. It was an ugly scene, but the weird part is that he didn’t seem to mind (then again, it was *really* hot that year!)

  51. hon glad says:

    Once picked place kittens in cat basket, not the fruit bowl.

  52. Mud Bug says:

    Ya know, Kitten fruit kind of reminds me of Kiwi fruit, fuzzy on the outside & sweet-tart on the inside.

  53. Aelfwyn says:

    Eew, those ones have gone furry already. I hate it when you pick up a piece of fruit and find it’s gone furry.

  54. Kitteh on the left would rather fight than switch.

    Oh, and BonzoGal is obviously NOMTOM’s long-lost sister.

  55. Katrina says:

    Thank you pyrit and puddlepeppers. Bonzogal, niiiiiiiiice.

  56. Jenn in IL says:

    I am in looooooooove with the black and white one. I normally don’t pick up things that have fallen from the tree already, but I’d make an exception for this…

  57. I’m a one kitteh household now and as much as I snorgle my boy kitty he doens’t really like it. I need another one strictly for snorglin purposes.

  58. Miss Brea says:

    NTMTOM – you clever, clever man. Your cap-shons RULE…

  59. gatita bonita says:

    I love the hover text!!! Honest to golly, it wasn’t me!

  60. C Cannon says:

    You’re kiddin’ me right?! These are way too small for eatin’ and their skin is still too soft and furry. Not ripe yet! (But awfully cute!)