Friday Haiku

Tell us what you think in the comments and we’ll bubble the best ones up here… This idea completely ripped off from one of our favorite sites, Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

Sex and the city?
Top this, Sarah Jessica.
I’m the hottest b*tch.

Oh those Olsen twins!
But Ashley or Mary Kate?
I couldn’t tell you.

And where’s the handbag?
No, I don’t buy this at all,
I think it was staged.
-Michael Claymore

Picture 6-1

Photo by Simon Høgsberg, submitted by Chief Seestoi Officoi.



  1. Sex and the city?
    Top this, Sarah Jessica.
    I’m the hottest b*tch.

  2. from the hairdresser
    I walk to a chic cafe
    do not diss the dress

  3. lucy's mommeh says:

    Looking for the dog beauty contest.

  4. mondongo says:

    left out on the street
    but I still have with me a
    shred of dignity

  5. dylanimore says:

    Oh, you like, dahlink?
    Its a new rule of cuteness
    Pups with flowing hair

    That’s mine, lol.

  6. Hey little lady

  7. This diva needs a handbag!

  8. Natural beauty
    What do you mean, extensions?!
    I shudder to think.

  9. Seriously, the local SPCA should arrest the owner for making a poor dog wear such a thing. This isn’t normal people!

  10. chanpon says:

    ‘shabby chic is in’
    says the trendy chihuahua,
    looking like a bum

  11. Oh boy…from a distance that looks a lot like me. I have that same dress and everything…..

  12. Wittle Doggy: ‘It eeeeeetches like ‘ell. But pain is beauty and beauty is pain. C’est La Vie, non?’

  13. Oh those Olsen twins!
    But Ashley or Mary Kate?
    I couldn’t tell you.

  14. Cathy M says:

    “Of course its my natural color. I’m only four how could i go grey?”

  15. puddlepeppers says:

    To you from Puddles…
    a hot pink croc-look tote bag…
    holds your Jessica-pet.

  16. Cathy M says:

    nuts i was off a syllable

  17. puddlepeppers says:

    ooooh-kay gotta re-do my so-called haiku…

    To you from Puddles…
    a hot pink croc-look tote bag…
    holds Sarah-Jessica-pet.

    I never qualify anyway…no talent for haiku. What’s a syllable? Everyone have
    a great time this long weekend!

  18. Theresa, you beat me to it!

    Another attempt:

    No one advised me
    To steer clear of Cher’s wigs
    And Charo’s wardrobe

  19. chickadee022 says:

    sooooo cute!!!! sarah jessica wishes she was this hawt!

  20. Walking on hind legs
    I find makes me look thinner
    Wouldn’t you agree?

    (Okay, am really stopping now!)

  21. HELP! He stole my purse! POLICE!!!!

  22. Nice perm!!!lol!!!

  23. bad dye job brings tears
    my feet, they are killing me
    time for pretty pink cosmos

  24. yup – I’m off a few syllables too. can’t… keep… eyes… open…

  25. soxfan413 says:

    I know you’re jealous
    No one has gams like me
    Not even Monroe

  26. soxfan413 says:

    ohhh, never mind. 🙂

  27. Sure, take my picture
    Forced to pose my dainty paws
    Payback is a b*tch…

  28. DaytimeDeb says:

    Dog wears frilly dress and wig.
    Did I just see that?
    Photoshop is my best friend.

  29. Samantha says:

    I had this saved for a while and kept meaning to send it in. Glad someone did!

  30. DaytimeDeb says:

    Backwards Haiku

  31. “Does this dress make my butt look fat??”

    (Not haiku, I know.)

  32. DaytimeDeb says:

    Dog in dress and wig
    Must be abused and ashamed
    ‘Nuffers write comments

  33. I can understand the dress and the wig, but it makes no sense that a dog would be walking around barefoot, no sense at all.

  34. And where’s the handbag? No, i dont buy this at all, i think it was staged.

  35. nisielli says:

    “Frilly? Fluffy? Wig?
    NOOOO! I’m so out of fashion!
    Must get bikini!”

  36. gail the second says:

    Do you realise that’s a haiku, Michael Claymore?

  37. Brilliantly gawdy
    Insulting to all nature
    This is not a dog.

  38. Always I have
    depended upon
    the kindness of strangers.

  39. Dainty legs under
    A voluminous skirt show
    My fashion sense fails

  40. BostonBunny says:

    They took my picture
    And made me look quite homely
    Just like a hooman

  41. BostonBunny says:

    It was a bad dream
    I seemed to be in Paris
    Dressed up like a dame

  42. claudia says:

    I don’t do Haikus
    At least not very well yet
    But I did look twice

  43. Cute Overload plus
    The Sartorialist
    Together at last

  44. Jessica says:

    These paws hit the streets
    My nose follows the best sales
    Lets get some shoes, betch.

  45. danielie says:

    My dress is fuzzy
    And my hair is neatly curled;
    This is true fashion.

    (@Jessica: I’ve already been to the mall.)

  46. Linda W. says:

    Lost in the city…
    Man, my dogs are killing me!
    Where is a bathroom?

  47. Linda W. says:

    Out of work actress
    Try out at the casting call
    Forget the couch tests!

  48. Linda W. says:

    My girlfriend is hot!
    Here is her picture…nice, huh?
    No! She’s NOT a dog!

  49. Ptychozoon says:

    Where went the 80’s?
    The hair and clothing divine?
    Oh, wait, there it is.

  50. gail the second…

    I had no idea that was a haiku. Oh hell, i thought i got chosen cos i was funny! Oh well…im honored anyway.

    [Assuming for the moment that I believe you 100% 😉 …it was funny, partly because it wasn’t intended to be. – Ed.]

    I nominate the “kindness of strangers” one.

  51. wannadance says:

    i agree with michael. kindness of strangers wins. ingenious as well as poignant

    [Except that it’s 4-5-6, not 5-7-5. Ahem. – Ed.]

  52. april in Paris
    turns to summer in this wig
    barefoot, expectant

  53. Jean Walsh says:

    Poor little thing.It’s a travesty. Dogs should be dogs not whatever that’s supposed to be.

  54. Cambridge Rat Mom says:

    awesome haiku; poor, poor puppy in drag. so sad.

  55. How cute is this, right?
    Wrong, I think it’s so freaky!
    Well, to each his own

  56. Dreamspinner Cheryl says:

    “Haute couture”? Gaudy rags!
    Evil Paris designer,
    Die a slow, painful death!

  57. If I could only get to my “go see” I will show them all that I belong in this contest and will be “Americas Next Top Model”.

  58. Pic *not* Photo-shopped:
    Sarah Jessica Parker
    Without her Blahniks

  59. Lerrinus says:

    @ Michael Claymore: She naturally high-heeled! 😀

  60. Von Zeppelin says:

    I can’t write haiku
    Even for dogs in dresses
    Something something uh

  61. ‘Poodle’ to Captain
    No sign of fashion sense here
    Beam me up, ‘Scotty’

  62. Poodles on skirts, bah
    This poodle will wear the skirt
    My work here is done

  63. Jacque bring the car ’round
    Must not be late for Pierre
    Are you getting this?

  64. temperance says:

    oh, this old thing here?
    why, i only wear it for
    (my) grocery shopping.

    there is some debate about the syllables in ‘grocery’- so i put the ‘my’ in parenthesis in case one thinks grocery should count as three instead of two.

  65. temperance says:

    a good rule of thumb:
    a lady should always be
    ready for the queen.

  66. Was dressed by owner
    With possible concussion
    Can only make sense.

  67. Sex and the City

  68. Trabb's Boy says:

    Little match girl eyes
    In a Christian Lacroix gown
    Tragic … yet redonk

  69. Paging Ms. Loren
    Your little dog stole your look
    and ran to Milan.

    (sorry, can’t see characters when typing).

  70. SoCalSis says:

    Ellen wins… except for that
    little syllable
    thingy… I’ll be editor:

    Always I have depended
    upon the kindness of
    strangers. Who will be my Knight?

  71. bark, bark, bark
    woof! baroooo?

  72. and my vote is for #49 Ptychozoon 🙂 haha lol

  73. Paunchie says:

    oh law, this poor dog

    can’t be good for self esteem

    somebody call for help

  74. Paunchie says:

    Good lord that wig is hideous.

  75. berthaservant says:

    I like the haikus but I’m confused by the voting rules/process (sorry, I’m a day late)…so I’ll just move on….

  76. No rules this time. (aside from haiku structure in 5-7-5)
    We post what we like. 😉

  77. Katrina says:

    You are just a loose cannon, Theo.

  78. Not cuteoverload worthy. I don’t get it…

  79. My fabulousness.
    Nuffs never could pass it by.
    I am what I am.

  80. Dang, that pup’s got way better legs than Sarah Jessica, too.
    And a fashion sense that is SO much better than Carrie’s persona.

  81. Dorothy says:

    Dainty elfin sprite
    Elegant on crowded street.
    Will she be stepped on?

  82. nisielli says:

    Beautifully dressed
    On the busy streets of France
    Hates her itchy wig

  83. nisielli says:

    Yellow and black hair
    Frilly white and yellow dress
    Disliked totally

  84. Dog looking wistful
    Wishing she was not dressed up
    Like a model girl

  85. Zanzanzeezee says:

    I couldn’t have put it better myself. Good lord, that wig is hideous.

  86. This is one cute pup
    Likes the frills when dressing up
    Don’t step on her wig!

  87. puddlepeppers says:

    @pyrit…Like your haikus…any one.

  88. Oh my goodness. WHAT?! WHAAAAAAAAT?!

    So baffling.

  89. Ooooo. My fair lady. So lady like walking on twos. XD My pup can’t do that. =/

  90. ladymailhandler says:

    Yes we wish they were human but they are not.

  91. gail the second says:


  92. tocktalk says:

    Working 9 to 5
    …a way to make a living
    No, it’s not for me

  93. OMGsh, a puppeh version of Curly Sue!