Mystical Beer Cans of Imprisonment!

ITEM TYPE: Artifact — Container

EFFECTS:  Target creature is confined for remainder of melee round.  May be reversed by invoking Rope Toy of Stringiness, Annoying Duck of Quacking, and Fuzzy Bee of Squishiness.


  1. That is a pretty well trained dog to stay where he was put and not knock over the cans. Mean, though, to tempt him with toys for our delectitude!

  2. DumBunny says:

    cute puppy

  3. scooterpants says:

    is not training silly!
    her barrette is too tight.
    nobody said lasa’s were mensa members, they’re just supposed to be keeute.

  4. LOL poor puppy trapped in a computer game.

  5. Aww. Don’t know what got to me more, the plaintive looks as if to ask: “Why mommy?” Or the ground scratching at the end.

  6. katiedid says:

    If only this worked for cats!!! oh the posibilities!!!

  7. Hon Glad says:

    I don’t think dog is too bright in the brains department.

  8. That’s not well trained, the dog just doesn’t know that he/she can knock over the cans so thinks it’s trapped :P
    Very cute though.
    “Waits for the nuffers to say it’s mean to tease animals”

  9. Hey! It’s mean to tease the puppah!

  10. LOL, NTMTOM! You’re welcome at our D&D table any day. Puppeh needs to cast Teleport or Dig…or call on the Rottweiler Paladin to bust him out!

  11. 260Oakley says:

    Pup is one can short of a six-pack. Cute, though.

  12. The cat, of course, is watching from the bookcase, laughing his tail off.

  13. bwaahahahahaha! That’s awesome.

    I used to dogsit for a woman who bred Pekingese, and all she had to do to keep them out of certain rooms was prop a shelf against the doorway–it was only 10″ high, but the puppers would just stare over it at you!

  14. *Snerk* poor doggie.

    I think this has about a 50% chance of working on my Shih Tzus (one of them, anyway, the other would just jump out) I might have to give this a try.

    For that matter, how did that doggie’s owners come up with this idea?

  15. This should be filed under ‘Cute or Sad?’ lol

  16. small brown dogs says:

    Hmmm. I hope that the puppeh comes up with a suitable response. Maybe something involving shoes….

  17. Even the fluffiest of cats would easily jump over the can-wall. Whether or not they want to, is another question. If they knock anything over, know that it is always with intent, just to mess with you.

  18. Wow, what a dumb dog!

  19. Anne Boleyn says:

    I am cautiously optimistic that the nuffers have held off so far, but my dark side knows that they are just building up their negative attitudes before bombarding the blog. Personally, I find this post sort of encouraging. I thought my two dogs were the least smart I’d seen until this!

  20. I think the reason this works is because the dog doesn’t like the noise of cans falling over or possibly cans full of pennies were used as a ‘no’ training tool.

    This pup is probably going ‘hmm, if I touch them, they make that bad noise’. Ah, the joy of conditioned behavior.

  21. My dog hates the sound of falling empty aluminum cans more than any other sound. The dog in the video may know from experience that knocking over a can will cause that terrible sound to occur. (Or possibly the dog is just not very bright.)

  22. scruffylove says:

    That dog has two faces.

    Now I want to try this with my dog. I think that he would get out, though.

  23. Hahaha, aww. That’s so mean! But really funny, too.

  24. KaitlinDarby says:

    Months ago after watching this video, I tried this trick with my boyfriend’s shitzu, she stepped right out… very unentertaining haha

  25. GingerBean says:

    I think it makes sense that he doesn’t like the sound the cans make…or like Kit said, they may have been used as a training tool. Otherwise, how the heck did the humans come up with this?
    Cuuute pup btw and as always, stellar commentary from NTMTOM!

  26. Hmmm, I think it’s the sound of the cans falling too. But what a little cutie patootie! No stoopied just well trained.

  27. carol m. says:

    Anyone else having a “Best in Show” flashback to the “busy bee”?

  28. If I did this to my border collie, she would just give me that “Have you lost your freaking mind?” look and step over them.

  29. I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, yes, it’s cute. And amusing to watch.

    On the other hand it’s clear the dog is frustrated. Whether by training or simple cluelessness it sees no way out, and the toys are just making it worse.

    That’s not nice. For the same reason, I refuse to use laser pointers to “play” with my cats. Amusing, yes … but ultimately frustrating and unfair.

  30. Yitzysmommie says:

    Ha ha ha heee heee….just sent this to my daughter who is the mother of my first Grand Dog, who, you got it, is a Shih Tzu.
    I’m certain Buddha is MUCH smarter/braver than this pupper. Awaiting response from said daughter.

  31. Watching this I couldn’t help but muse that “this is why I prefer cats”.

    Just my opinion. Not nuffin or nuthin.

  32. @larshoel – Unless, like mine, the cats and dogs know that the lazer spot is uncatchable but love to chase it anyway. :) I’m pretty sure most pets realize pretty quickly that the lazer isn’t solid, even if they can’t explain why it isn’t.

  33. *rafi* that’s funny cause i was just thinking to myself what a shame it is that this won’t work on my cat *g*

  34. Said daughter of Yitzysmommie here. Buddha is DEFINITELY smarter – he’d just glare at me and curl up to take his nap.

  35. Space Cowgirl says:

    Actually, rafi, I was thinking the same thing.

    It’s not that puppers isn’t cute other than that eardrum-piercing bark, it’s just that I like my companions to be slightly more competent than a week-old infant.

  36. Oops, forgot to post my actual comment. :)

    My most effective bit of dog training ever is the one thing I didn’t actually try to teach them. The first puppy we got was a doxy mix, and he hated to go down stairs with his short little legs. So the cats took the (finished) basement as their refuge when annoyed by him, since he wouldn’t dare the stairs. When we got the second puppy, a beagle mix, the doxy apparently taught him the the downstairs was off limits, even though it wasn’t ever an actual rule. And then they together taught the youngest puppy (a full doxy) the same thing. None of them have _ever_ ventured past the top two stairs, even when the entire rest of the family is downstairs without them.

  37. Sarah F. says:

    Reminds me of my golden retriever who could be quarantined in the kitchen by placing two empty paper bags in the door way!

  38. catloveschanel says:

    I think Winston is still in the box……

  39. Paunchie says:

    (wondering) how does a doxy go down the stairs. . .

  40. SaintStryfe says:

    Gah, don’t remind me. I’ve been running Naxxaramas since december and I haven’t seen one sight of Mystical Beer Cans of Imprisonment off of Patchwurk or Gluph the demon puppy. Stupid Rogue trinket drops every week though!

  41. It’s probably one of those froofy dogs that someone carries around all the time and has never been romping outdoors to learn how to jump over stuff.

  42. starling says:

    Doxy? Aren’t those those black bitey thingies that infest curtains and stuff?

    Obscure Potter references ‘r’ us.

  43. I love the taunting duck.

  44. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    ZOMG they found the busy bee from Best in Show! The nutty Wiemaraner people will be so relieved.

  45. There’s got to be a lesson in here about self-imposed boundaries.

  46. scooterpants says:

    what a burden it must have been to have to drink all that beer.
    this is where great ideas come from.
    Brilliant human, can out-wit a Lasa Apso.

  47. scooterpants says:


  48. I am SO showing this video to my cats. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

  49. balamuthia says:

    Haha! See, now I totally have to believe my friend who says she can keep her dog out of the catbox with a board no more than a foot tall!

    I love (and by that I mean, it’s stupid) how when people *aren’t* nuffing, others pop up to talk about how inevitable it is that they soon will. Good lord.

  50. berthaservant says:

    I think the laser pointer is completely different; cats, especially, need to hone and practice their hunting/tracking instincts, so a laser pointer, while basically lazy amusement for a human, is actually kind of a mental/physical workout for a pet.

    I’m sure there’s some operant conditioning involved here, but it is kind of sad. It’s kind of discongruous — a super cute, coiffed prissy little doggeh being held captive by a mean ol’ videographer. Perhaps it is meant to represent Nicole Richie in prison or something?

  51. googlie eyes says:

    This one doesn’t look mean to me at all. An old dog of mine had issues with decks of cards and powdered sugar. We took advantage of that fact every once in a while because it was funny, but only briefly, and he always got a snack afterward. No harm done.

    As far as cats being smarter, I have to say, I’ve had (and met) some pretty dim cats. I think it doesn’t matter what species you are, when the lights go out, they’re out. Luckily, not-too-bright animals are generally really sweet.

  52. Paunchie says:

    Busybee! LOL!! you stupid hotel manager!

    also LOL@ “self imposed boundaries”!

  53. If I’m not mistaken, those are Pepsi (and Diet Pepsi) cans, not beer cans… we all know what NTMTOM drinks now :-P

  54. Oh I see the thing in the corner that says “beer magnet” now. So I suppose it’s whoever made the video that couldn’t tell what those cans were…

  55. Tractatus Blorpico-Philosophicus says:

    “An old dog of mine had issues with decks of cards and powdered sugar.”

    Does that qualify as a zeugma?

  56. Many dogs and cats have innate hunting instincts, so having to catch something is fun and exciting (especially cats).

    Laser pointers, or any other teaser toys, are not frustrating nor unfair for cats. My boys will drag their cat toys to me, hoping I’ll toss it (and they catch them) or wave it around and play with them. If you just leave the toy with them, they get bored within 10 mins.

    I have to nuff this whole “give them everything they want = love” concept. Sorry, that is why we have a whole generation of entitled peeps and animules running around. I don’t think we’re doing them any favors. ::glares at entitled employees in office::

  57. @boaks: You’ve got a good eye; the video is so fuzzy that I really couldn’t tell what the labels on the cans said, so I just went with “beer cans.”

  58. NTMTOM, not a good eye, I just drink too much Diet Pepsi and could recognize it a mile away :-P

  59. CoffeeCup says:

    Wow. Not a very bright dog…

  60. I have two Great Danes. To keep one (the dumber and less trainable of the two) out of the kitchen, we have some homemade barriers – basically some foot-tall shoeboxes taped together – blocking the entrance to the kitchen. He could easily step over the box and into the kitchen, but he doesn’t. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, gods love ‘im!

  61. Von Zeppelin says:

    This dog is clearly trapped by cans of beer that emit a powerful force field. I have some personal experience with the beer force field–it causes disorientation, slurred speech, and impairment of balance. There may be some other effects, but I don’t remember them.

  62. Oh my gosh, SO cute!!! I love the bats and hamster too! :)

  63. starling says:

    Yup, cats can be dim too. We have high stairs with a very high landing at the top. If the cat falls off it, he’ll either be dead, or severely wounded. Today he jumped on the bannister along the landing FOR THE THIRD TIME, while trying to catch a fly.

    The bannister is rounded at the top, he can’t get a hold on it, and every time he does it I have half a heart attack and I have to rescue him before he over-balances and falls 5 metres straight down. Thank G*d I was there to rescue him every time (although today it was almost too late).

  64. miameows says:

    starling, I thought the same thing when I read “doxies”. lol And I am of the “hilarious, but I felt guilty laughing” camp

  65. Puppersons, I’ll save you! I’ll be right back with my 20-sided die!

  66. “Awwww…”

    First toy is dropped

    “Awwww…let him out.”

    Second toy is dropped

    “Seriously. Let him out!”

    Third toy is dropped

    “Please, let him out! Dear God and all that is holy let him out! LET HIM OUT!”

  67. @larshoel. My sister is afraid that her cat will give up on the laser pointer if she figures out there’s no reward for catching it, so sometimes we will hide treats for her and then aim the red dot at the treat. I think the other commenters pretty much explained away the meanness of it, but if you feel like your kitty should get a reward for the chase, you could try it.

  68. OH! Von Zeppelin just totally explained it. Why didn’t I realize that! It should also work on friends too, I assume.

  69. @Yitzysmommie: And I thought my daughter and I were the only people who call her dog my granddog! My husband hates this so we do it all the time to mess with him. It actually started with her 2 guinea pigs, when I bought them Santa hats 15 months ago and signed the gift box tag as “your piggy grandma”. My daughter was delighted that I was no longer campaigning for actual grandchildren! …

  70. Love the Magic: The Gathering ref. Nerds and Puppies! And possible Beer! Squee…

  71. florence hamilton says:

    clearly this person has driven her dog insane

  72. Yeeeah…it’s looks don’t exactly scream “intelligence.”

  73. Ahahahahaha! I love how the dog just keeps turning in a circle, as if an opening will magically appear.

  74. I do use the laser pointer to play with my cats, but after about 20min of them bounding back and forth and almost running into stuff, I end up timing switching it off when they think they’ve caught it. Then I just pet them as a reward to say well done :)

  75. kibblenibble says:

    larshoel: I hesitated about using a pointer, too, thinking kitteh would be frustrated. Maybe some cats are. My George loves it, though, and starts that wierd silent cat-chattering thing they do when he sees me pick up the pointer, before I even turn it on! He needs the exercise, too, because I have to keep him indoors. My Isabella plays with it for a bit, then gets bored when she remembers/realizes she can’t get it. Then she walks away. I imagine you would be able to figure out pretty quick if your cat was into it or not. That said…my reaction to this video was “Poor baby…ha ha ha…Poor Baby…ha ha ha” Then I thought, “Well, nobody said she had to be pretty *and* smart!” :o)

  76. BestInShow says:

    I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one to think of the Busy Bee reference.

    “That’s a bear…in a bee costume.”

  77. When my daughter wants to get the cat out of a room, she goes and picks up the laser pointer. The moment he hears the chain rattle, he comes running to begin the chase.

    In fact it is very difficult to pick it up quietly enough that he won’t hear it.

  78. kodalai says:

    Well, the reason I assumed ‘training’ rather than ‘dumb’ was that even if he didn’t think he *could* knock over the cans, for whatever reason, I find it unlikely that he could do all that tail-chasing and jumping around inside the can square without *accidentally* knocking into one of the walls of cans. Unless he had some kind of reason not to want to touch them. Disliking the sound that cans make when they fall over could very well do it. :)

  79. beansie says:

    I feel so bad for that puppeh…please tell me he/she eventually knocked over the cans and got out!

  80. @Tractatus Blorpico-Philosophicus

    I don’t think so; the objects are pretty disparate, but dog’s relationship to them seems pretty synonomous. Thanks for using the word zeugma!

    AAAnnyway. . . I watched this about ten times. I really made me think of watching my old cat get off a window sill (he couldn’t). Something about it — he’d back up, and back up, then go forward, then look up pleadingly then do it again. Forever. Sad, but it’s sooo hard not to watch a couple of times and giggle. He was an overbred abandoned showcat . . . little ol’ walnut-sized brain, I loved that dim little thing!

  81. darkshines says:

    *rolls 12 sided dice*

    8, awesome, I choose Fuzzy Bee of Squshiness!

    *victorious wizard pose*

  82. Roll for Willpower Save.

    *rolls a 2*

    DM: “You are overcome by the cuteness. You are unable to move and are eaten alive by puppies.”

  83. starling says:

    My dumb cat has just pulled one of the curtains off the rail. Meh.

  84. Jenn in IL says:

    Awww, poor sweet little girl!

    My mom has a Lhasa Apso and she, too, is not that bright. Maybe I’ll try this with her! She’s a sweet dog, though.

    And I disagree that cats are always brighter than dogs. He’s likely an exception, but our pretty kitty Kodak (Kody) is our “simple kitty”. You just look at him and say, “Yea…you don’t have much going on up there, do you, buddy?” Sweetest, most tolerant cat ever, though. But my dogs run circles around him.

    At any rate, this is kind of sad, but mostly just amusing. :)

  85. that dog is pretty stupid

  86. Catsquatch says:

    “Rope Toy of Stringiness, Annoying Duck of Quacking, and Fuzzy Bee of Squishiness.”


    (does best mage bow)


  87. anonnymous says:

    Awww, poor puppy wants to get to the toys. I don’t think the dog is dumb. Probably trained to stay within a certain boundary. So sad….I hope the pup got a big treat and hug and toys to play with for putting up with that!

  88. D&D forever

    “Jesus saves — everyone else takes 6d6″

  89. Paradox says:

    This was like me as a baby. My parents would surround me with pillows, and I apparently didn’t think I could crawl over them. So I just stayed there. Very handy actually.

  90. Rooanne says:

    ’nuffer here! But someone beat me to it — about the cans being mostly Pepsi.

    Regarding the lazer pointer issue: my cat is so smart, he often looks at the pointer itself instead of the light! He has figured out where it comes from. He also knows he can’t catch the light so he’ll get into chasing for awhile and then get bored.

  91. Hilarious!

  92. The first reference MY mind came up with was being in “Odyssey of the Mind” creative competitions* when I was in junior high and high school. Aluminum can mazes were required to be navigated, sometimes with blindfolds.

    *used to be “Olympics of the Mind,” but the Olympics people threw snits.

  93. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to cross a Pepsi barrier, either.

  94. Noelegy — I was in that too, right when they were changing the name.

  95. Dogs can get really frightened if cans make a lot of noise (people fill cans with stones and shake them to train the dog), which might be the reason for the dog not wanting to knock any over. I don’t think it’s dumb. Poor thing, it looks so cute!

  96. Bleah, this video is lame. How is a sad dog cute?

  97. This so wouldn’t work with my dog…

  98. A wall of pepsi cans would probably keep me occupied a good long while. But they’d have to be *full* cans.

  99. O my god you people can’t spell! Cuteoverload really does need spellcheck! Oh, it’s a picture! Don’t freack out over it! After the people took the picture, they rescued the dog and he wasn’t hurt! Geese!

  100. Ohh, your grammars bad to! Like I said the dog was rescued it’s not like they keep him there forever! Throw a ball and he’ll get out like that *snas fingers*.