Bat Toes and ‘Tocks

According to this bat-tographer; "When you reach into a bag of bats to pull one out, they’re usually upside down and what you first see wriggling out is a cute little bat butt. " Yes, yes I see that.


Bat toes and ‘tocks by The! Ow! Ssssss [hot to the touche]



  1. Have we ever had a *bat* before???

  2. I don’t think I’ve reached into a bag of … bats … before. But I should start.

  3. PS: battocks!

  4. I just got back from Cuba a couple of weeks ago and saw some of the friendliest bats ever! The were flying in a little group around a tree that my friends and I were standing under. They came within a few inches of us! They were too cute!

  5. Reminds me of when I had serious bat envy after watching a show about a group of Australian housewives who volunteered as “foster moms” for an endangered indigenous bat species. The women were cuddling upside down baby bats while being interviewed, and the bats looked as happy as could be.

  6. A bag of bats? Batbag? I am intrigued…

  7. Bathos Q. Hauteur says:
  8. Aw…bat-butt!

  9. Prehensile bat toes! I love bats, and this makes them all the more adorable. I have to say the furry battocks (with modestly hidden bat bits) are very cute. Yes, I typed bat bits.

  10. Those feets look like garden rakes. Also, I want to see the rest of the bat!

  11. On those sultry southern summer nites, when my friends and I would play tennis late into the evening, the bats would sometimes echolocate and attack our airborne tennis balls. True story.

  12. googlie eyes says:

    I love that there’s a rule of thumb (or in this case, finger) for extracting bats from a bag. Who knew?

  13. Bathos — nuc nuc nuc.

  14. Looooove the hover text!!

  15. That must be a very wee bat.

    Also: A “bag of bats” is a surreal concept to me.

  16. My grandma has cankles, and my grandpa *does* call her an old bat.. coincidence? hmmmmm

  17. Where is the rest of the bat?

    [Cave! – Ed.]

  18. And it’s “when.” Not “if.” Not “I’ve been known to.” Not “There are people out there who sometimes…”

    It’s “WHEN you reach into a bag of bats.” Like – sure, we all do that. Oh look, they have bags of bats on sale at Target…

  19. ThreeCatNight says:

    “Hey Randy, where’s the rest of me?!”

  20. Anne Boleyn says:

    I can hardly remember the last time I reached into a bag of bats.

  21. Teeny, tiny bat toes!!!

  22. Theo beat me to the punch
    with “battocks.” It’s nice to know that, for a brief
    second, I had a Theo-type

  23. “When you reach into a bag of bats…”

    A common scenario indeed. 😉

  24. To be fair, Frankie, I’m kinda plugged in here. 😉

  25. Paunchie says:

    hey Rocky! Watch me pull a bat outta my bag! Nuttin up mah sleeve – PRESTO!

  26. Kasia —
    I find it far more difficult to speak
    Than type, with tongue ensconced in cheek.

  27. Those tiny little bat feet are hanging on to the last joint of a finger! Oh, my god.

  28. scooterpants says:

    zat does not look like dee back of dee bat, looks like the front. i see no bat butt in dees peektur.

  29. Oh, sure if you go to one of those Toney Stores like Target, you get a Bag of Bats.

    Now, me, living with the common folk, we get our bag o’bats.

    Wonderful tennis story. Or, is is a bat story, hmmm…

  30. Von Zeppelin says:

    It never fails. . . the bat I want is always in the bottom of the bag. I’m going to start keeping mine in something like the boxes with the cardboard dividers they give away at the liquor store.

  31. that must be an itty-bitty-baty if his bum only spans a finger tip.

  32. Bat Pockets, Von Zeppelin. You’ll make a killing. (remember us little peeps)

  33. Kiragirl says:

    “When you reach into a bag of bats…”

    right, like why would you do that? the feetsies are ‘kinda’ cute, though.

  34. Von Zeppelin says:

    Excellent idea, Theo. Maybe something like a carpenter’s apron with bat-sized pockets. You could paint their toenails in color codes so the right bat is immediately at hand. (Checks for website of U.S. Patent office. . . )

    [ – Ed.]

  35. zeldapie says:

    Bats are soooo cute. I saw some at the Wildlife Rehab Center, but couldn’t touch them ‘cos I don’t have the rabie vaccination. Darn! Leetle bebeh bats are teeny and anerable. I wanna feed ’em mealworms!

  36. zeldapie says:

    rabie = rabies

  37. Gail (the first one) says:

    @VonZep: Somehow, that reminds of the SNL sketch “Anal-retentive Chef”, a Phil Hartman classic.

  38. Argyle Donkeypants says:

    Holy burlap bags of bat-butts, Batman.

  39. Lucy's mommeh says:

    I liked watching the bats coming out of the flashing around the neighbors’ chimney. Then they went & sealed it up. They suck. There was a little bat out by the front door at work once. I was dumb & petted it a tiny bit. Very soft. like a moushie. I started making a chitter at me and I backed up.
    And once one got in our house. It was found on the floor-we *think* our rather out of shape Mollie caught it or bit it. Poor thing (bat) looked like a dead little leaf. All in all, bats are cool…:)

  40. Theo, we had Bats with Binkies™!!

    Pretty wild, huh? >0

  41. PS Bats love Schubert!! Ask me how I know (looking around for Katrina) 😉

  42. Hehe Theresa. You pasted the new URL format, I pasted the old URL format.

  43. But Paunchie, that trick never works!

  44. piratejenny says:

    For a Bag o’ Bats, I’m thinking Costco; at Target you’d probably just get a 6-pack or something. (hm–am due for Costco trip–what aisle would that be?)

  45. Yah, there’s no bat ‘tocks there. Bat knees, bat toes, and bat GROIN, but no buttocks. S/He’d have to be turned around for that. Dun’t mean the package isn’t precious!

  46. berthaservant says:
  47. AuntieMame says:

    “Suppose I carried my family about with me in my pocket, how many pockets should I want?”

    “Sixteen,” said Piglet.

    “Seventeen, isn’t it?” said Rabbit. “And one more for a handkerchief–that’s eighteen. Eighteen pockets in one suit! I haven’t time.”

    There was a long and thoughtful silence? . . and then Pooh, who had been frowning very hard for some minutes, said: “I make it fifteen.”

    “What?” said Rabbit.


    “Fifteen what?”

    “Your family.”

    “What about them?”

    Pooh rubbed his nose and said that he thought Rabbit had been talking about his family.

    “Did I?” said Rabbit carelessly.

    “Yes, you said–”

    “Never mind, Pooh,” said Piglet impatiently. “The question is, What are we to do about Kanga?”

    “Oh, I see,” said Pooh.

  48. Michelle S. says:

    , ,
    / |\ { ° } /| \
    (V’v ”V” v’V)

  49. Michelle S. says:

    Aww boo. My lil bat didn’t draw right. :[

  50. B-serv, at least it wasn’t a box of rocks.

  51. Michelle S. says:

    Actually, Lisa: I am pretty sure those are bat tocks. That’s the back side of the bat.

  52. I was think it was the “front butt” also. The way the feets are pointed…

  53. A bag of bats? Such is the stuff of nightmares!

  54. Isn’t anyone else channeling Irving Mainway (Dan Akroyd from the OLD SNL) – Bag o’ glass… Bag o’ Tacks… Bag o’ Bats!

  55. Hmm, a bag of bats…. now where do you buy THOSE?

  56. Yay for bats on CO!

  57. Well, in all honesty, I get my bags of bats at Aldi’s. I find their quality really no different from the name brands and in this day and age, saving money on your bags of bats is important.

    Who’s a classicist here?? Even if you’re not, but read the Aeneid in HS or college, YOU MUST SEE THIS!!!

  59. I love the tiny knees! And Theo, LOL at “battocks”. Nice one.

  60. Theresa, dear, do I want to know how you found that? Terrific study aid! Von Zeppelin ought to have fun with that! “The bat I want is always at the bottom of the bag!” indeed. And you Peeps who are indulging him with pocketed aprons (manly-man aprons to be sure) aren’t helping, you are just egging him on!*snerk*

    Now, I heard you calling me from the darkness-what can I do for you? Oh, yes, Meine schattze, Die Fledermaus!

    Great, now I’ll have ‘what’s her/his name’ sighing in my head all night- or is that Rosenkavelier-the Marcheline? I always get those two syrupy things mixed up.

    Thanks for thinking of me, sweetie! I bet Anner could have answered that, too, but I got there first! BWAHHAHAHAH! My Theresa, Mine!

  61. I don’t know, by the way the feet are hanging,(gripping) it looks like a “Full Bat Monty” to me.
    I suspect that bats have tidy bits.

  62. Katrina:
    Re your assessment of “Der Rosenkavalier”: HUMPH!!!

    Rosenkavalier =/= Fledermaus.

    The only thing they have in common is that they are both Viennese. And have waltzes in them. And were written by someone named Strauss. Oh damn!

    Actually, neither of them is exactly syrupy unless performed badly.

    Anyway, you never asked me how I know that the wee batties love Schubert, mmmmmmmmm?

  63. GLAD you asked. I was in a summer student orchestra in Vermont one summer, not telling how long ago. We were playing a concert one night: Schubert’s Unfinished. OK we get through the intro, then the first theme. I’m playing the first clarinet part, playing with the first oboe. Flap flap brush brush. On my head. Flap Flap squeak squeak brush brush. ( eeeek eeeeek eeeeeek!)

    I was a pro, though, and soldiered on. In those days you could have exploded a bomb around me while I was playing. Anyway, we just kind of got used to the bats flapping around us as we played.

  64. kibblenibble says:

    Teeny tiny furry guy! Bag of bats, indeed! :o)

  65. googlie eyes says:

    I am only coming up with a teeny tiny version of that link you posted. How do you get to the real FB group (I’m not a classicist, but I am a Medievalist, so this would be useful for me)?

  66. Googlie, the teeny tiny thingie you saw should blow up to full size when you lick on it.

  67. Yikes! Typing disease! I meant CLICK on it, of course.

  68. I like the first way better.

  69. verbatim says:

    It’s a furbatum.

    (furry bat tum-tum)

  70. AuntieMame says:

    Theresa, I saw that on earlier today. Hilarious!

  71. googlie eyes says:

    Aha! Thanks :o)

  72. Hon Glad says:

    “Listen to them, children of the night, what music they make”.

  73. Flap flap squeak squeak!

  74. Now Theo, that just wouldn’t be good for the computer screen.

  75. …or one’s tongue, for that matter!

    Great story- you were unflappable!

  76. Von Zeppelin says:

    As to the Vergil Facebook, I object strenuously in the name of aging Classical Language nerds everywhere! It is just WRONG to make Latin poetry fun and interesting. Everybody should have to study the Aeneid like I did–in a poorly lit, overheated classroom with a snotty British professor who opens the book at random and makes you translate at sight. Change is bad and dangerous and frightening.

    Or, to put it another way,
    Quidquid id est, timeo Danaos et Facebook ferentes.

  77. “Holy bat toes Batman-I think the Joker has got us again!!”
    Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo Tiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyy!!!!

  78. If bats could speak, they would speak Latin. I’m sure.
    They would also have their toenails painted very bright and happy colors. Yes, I’m sure.

  79. VonZep, Aaaack! I fear VonZep, even bearing an Internets!
    Way to rock the hexameters!

  80. PS what did snotty Roman adolescents say to their parents?
    “Quidquid!” (snort, eyeroll)

  81. Whatever, Theresa? Just too-too!

    A hemidemisemiquaver to you for your creativity! A nice, sharp and pointy one, too! Great for your sandbox!

  82. All you bat lovers: check out Bat Conservation International.

  83. superboymom says:

    I know he is sweet and tiny, and I could LOOK at him all day . . . but reach into the bag o’bats? That’s one “grab bag” I don’t think I could handle! 🙂

  84. When I was a kid we had a pool and on warm nights we’d go for an evening swim. We would have to duck to avoid the bats coming down for a drink. I had no problem with bats until a few years ago when two of them got into the house and began flying around the family room at 1am when I was all alone. I was able to open the door and get one of them to fly out fairly easily but the other had flown into my parents’ room. Luckily I used to watch a lot of animal secials with my Dad and remembered that bats liked darkness. So I turned the lights on in my parents room and off in the hallway and the little guy flew out, back into the family room, and out the door after his buddy. Man that was scary! I still don’t know how they got in the house in the first place!?

  85. When I was spelunking about five years ago I saw a lot of bats. They were no bother. They flew around me and the other people in my group a few times, no doubt curious as to what these large pale creatures were doing in their cave, and then returned to their nests. I got to see one up close, upside down, asleep. It was cuter than I would have expected. It looked like a mouse with wings.

  86. Rabies. Rabies. Rabies.

    That’s all the phrase “bag of bats” means to me. Rabies. 100% fatal rabies.

  87. Biscuits for Idjits says:

    Who said rabies? *winds up with a biscuit*

  88. Mmmm, biscuits! I’ll get the honey…

  89. With this pickie? This blog is officially on its way to amassing one heck of a collection of ‘tocks… Now THAT would make a good coffee table book: “The CO Official Encyclopedia of ‘Tocks”. For reals Meg!

  90. Yitzysmommie says:

    bag of bats…..When one reaches into a BAG OF BATS…
    thanks for the brain worm you guys! I’ll be picturing bags of bats all day long now; hesitating before I reach into anything resembling a bag….

  91. Gyrt, we should check first to see that Janes’s IG doesn’t have the franchise on that. 😉

    “Jane’s Book of Tocks”

  92. PS is it true that the word “spelunk” come from the sound of an amateur caver falling into a deep, hidden pit in the dark?

  93. Leetle batties! Just a cautionary note though, remember that if you ever see a bat on the ground who looks injured, call animal control — do not touch the bat with your bare hands!

    I do wildlife rehab, and a family once brought in a little bat that they had kept for a day or two, trying to “raise” it…doh >.< and brought it to us after the bat refused to eat anything. It turned out that the family had all handled the bat with their bare hands, including their little kid, and their cat had possibly mouthed the bat. We are required to call the CDC and report a potential rabies situation, since rabies is transmitted in saliva and bats lick themselves. We had to euthanize the bat instantly, because a rabies confirmation is done by dissecting the brain. The family pet is under quarantine. If rabies is detected, the family has to get shots. All because they picked up the bat instead of calling animal control, who would've brought the bat to us for rehabbing :(. Then at the rehab center, we could've added him to our bags o' bats!

  94. Poor li’l batty! You almost made me cry! I’ve liked bats since I saw the mommy bats hanging upside down nursing the tiny bebeh bats in the Bronx Zoo World of Darkness. They looked like little furry upside down Madonnas. Not the one from Michigan.

  95. Ypsilanti Madonna? Not that one?

  96. They are too tocks!! All bat toes point the ‘wrong’ way, and the knees too!

    If bat toes were oriented like ours they would have to hang with their backs to the wall. Try taking off like that! You’d whap your wings on the wall and be facing backside-down in flight. Not a pretty picture at all!

    You can only get rabies from a bite, so please keep your fingers out of those bags o’ bats and carry them carefully to your local bat rehabilitator!

    Bat World NOVA

  97. you lost me at “Bag of Bats”

    as we say in the midwestern united states “Sack of Bats”

  98. Did anyone see the episode of Dirty Jobs, in which Mike was knee deep (I kid you not) in bat guano? That really was a dirty job. eew.

  99. Theresa says:

    Katrina, I totally forgot the famous phenomenon of the Madonna of Ypsilanti, who appeared in a small fat stain on a Sonics floor. But not that one, either.

  100. I think that’s the front of the bat, too. Here’s a picture of a bat and his feet point the “right” way.

  101. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG PONIES!!1!!!! I made it on CO. And while I was out of town for a week. Yay for bats on CO! Thanks for posting.

  102. what I mean by that is, I took this picture. but you already figured that out. my 2 nanoseconds of relative fame on my beloved cute overload and I wasn’t even here to enjoy it. sigh.

  103. bathead says:

    ass-end of Ardops nichollsi, correct?

  104. Bats?? Oh god no. Please. Not bats. I simply cannot find teh cute in them.

  105. I’m noticing a trend that the froot bats get all the glam face shots, and the microchiropter-eensies get only butt shots. Are the wee batties relegated to a life of lite porn!? Oh the bat-manity!