"I hate this place — everything’s all flat and quiet. Yeah, sure, there’s people, but nobody talks to me or pets me or anything. I mean, check out Necktie Boy, here; I lick his face, give him my best sad-eyes routine, and what do I get? Bupkis! And the worst part is that there’s all this food, and I can’t eat any of it!
"On the plus side, though, I’m feeling very motivated to quit smoking. Whatever that is."
Maybe a trip to Sofaland will cheer him up, Steph W.