I Don’t Like This Planet, Mommy

"I hate this place — everything’s all flat and quiet.  Yeah, sure, there’s people, but nobody talks to me or pets me or anything.  I mean, check out Necktie Boy, here; I lick his face, give him my best sad-eyes routine, and what do I get?  Bupkis!  And the worst part is that there’s all this food, and I can’t eat any of it!

"On the plus side, though, I’m feeling very motivated to quit smoking.  Whatever that is."

The snozzberries most decidedly DO NOT taste like snozzberries.

Maybe a trip to Sofaland will cheer him up, Steph W.



  1. mervtheflamingo says:


  2. mervtheflamingo says:

    Sofaland! Now! 🙂

  3. lucy's mommeh says:

    and on dat note:

  4. Jimbeaux says:

    Yeah! A trip to sofaland, and a biiiiig hug!

  5. Oh, that imploring little face!! — “When can I go to Klamath Falls with Danny and Marlys and Ralphie??”

  6. metsakins says:

    won’t nobody quit their job and stay home!!! the inhumanity

  7. See that sweet little face? I would give him anything he wants. That’s why I can’t have a dog!

  8. “Snozberries” Nice one NOMTOM.

    And may I say, we need a book devoted entirely to NOMTOM posts. They should be required reading–totally brill.

  9. kibblenibble says:

    I wanna reach right down and rescue him from the flat planet,and pick him up for a snorgle.

  10. momof2kittiesandapuppeh says:

    Change this to a chocolate lab and you have the face of my newest baby Abby. She makes that face at me all the time. “Go outside?” “Treats?” “Play wif me?” “More treats?” “Is that my poop on the floor?”

  11. Von Zeppelin says:

    Snozberries? Are they related to the snozcumbers in Roald Dahl’s “Big Friendly Giant?” If they are, you don’t want ’em, pup.

  12. For some reason I first read that as “Maybe a trip to Scotland will cheer him up”

  13. You get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!

  14. @Voin Zeppelin:

  15. Wait, puppers, I just need to know what’s going on with ::cue announcer voice:: THE VENT.

  16. berthaservant says:

    Fear not, doggeh. I will move to your kingdom and we will frolic and pee on those that disdain you.

  17. Von Zeppelin says:

    @Alex–thanks for the useful information about snozberries. Willie Wonka was a creation of Roald Dahl, as was the BFG. I wonder if there are other snozveggies in Mr. Dahl’s collected works?

  18. Now I have the sudden urge to nose bump my computer monitor ::eskimo kisses::

  19. Desdemona says:

    I love NTMTOM’s story and all that, but I can’t help but think pupper’s REAL thoughts are: “Why you set me down on these papers? You want me to do WHAT?!”

  20. aww what a pet-able head.

  21. How about LapLand… My kitties squabble over time in LapLand.


    What is wrong with you, Sir or Madam?

  23. adorable pupster! adorable hovertext! adorables all around! also, alliteration!

  24. You could have least given him the crossword puzzle.

  25. Piss on it, I say.

  26. cookiegal says:

    omg i just wont 2 dunk him in my coffee!!!!

  27. I find that these days, the Finance section is the most absorbent.

  28. Lerrinus says:

    OMG what a schweet face! 😀

  29. Wolverine says:

    ummm….check this out Dog lovers

  30. I definitely think this guy needs to go to Klamath falls!

    So cute!

  31. Loved the Willy Wonka movie reference 😀

  32. i know that newspaper! thats my local newspaper, and that puppy is wayyyy too cute!

  33. Aw snookums. Somebody make with the petting already STAT.

  34. Somehow the raspberries make me think puppy is made out of ice cream.

    Get on it, scientific community.

  35. I have a yellow lab as well. Note to Owner: don’t fall for those sweet puppy eyes!! That dog is gearing up to manipulate you to do WHATEVER it wants…and of course, you will….

  36. Starlight says:


  37. totalee puppy says:

    Mel2 “these days…the Finance section is the most absorbent.” LMAO

  38. cachorro says:

    Berthaservant “…we will frolic and pee on those that disdain you.” A classic.

  39. Hon Glad says:

    Your quite ok to pop on this planet goggie.

  40. Hon Glad says:

    that was poop.

  41. Paunchie says:


    I want to smooch him between his little eyes-es!

  42. What a cute little face

  43. I steel teh puppeh!!!!! I will pet him and feed him and give him lufffs!!!

  44. @von zepplin, it is actually from charlie and the chocolate factory, which was also written by Rohl Dahl.

  45. Heheh cuuute