Klamath Falls, 1963

OK, so me and my friend Danny get to go camping, except Danny’s mom said that Danny’s sister Marlys had to come too, and my mom made me take my brother Ralph and said we couldn’t hike fast on account of he has asthma and stuff.

And Marlys had this big crush on me, but of course she pretended she didn't.

So we were in the forest, and Marlys said she was pretty sure that this is where Old Man Morris lives, who’s supposed to be this scary old guy with a hook for a hand who cooks little kids and eats ’em.  And I said "cut it out, Marlys, that’s just a ghost story."

But we stuck together anyway, just to be safe.

"Is not," says Marlys.  "Jimmy Beaverton saw him when he took a short cut home from Jamboree last summer.  There was this wheezy voice saying ‘My, you’re a tasty thing, aren’t ya?’ and that’s when he saw him."

"Oh, Jimmy Beaverton eats boogers and thinks Howdy Doody is real," I tell her.  "What does he know?"  And she says "Fine — you’re so smart, let’s see you walk down there by yourself."

                    um, OK...

So now I have to do it or I’ll look stupid.  And then the forest gets really quiet, and the birds stop singing all at once, and all I can hear is the snow crunch under my feet.  And then I stop, and I hear something … wheezing.

( I'm *not* a tasty thing, I'm *not* a tasty thing... )

So Marlys screams at me and Danny screams at Marlys and Ralphie just screams at everybody, and we all run back to camp the whole way without stopping.  Anyway, it turns out the wheezing was just because Ralphie couldn’t find his inhaler.

But we never went back there anyway, just to be safe.

Photos from Jennifer T. (with an assist from Alexis M. & Sarah F.S.)



  1. Way toooooo cute!

  2. Space Cowgirl says:

    Linking my Lab-loving, ski-loving Canadian BF to this, as I’m sure it’s his personal version of Heaven. <3

  3. fantastic story! cute puppies! this post has it all!

  4. I’m scared!


  6. This just may be my favorite NTMTOM creation to date. Bloody Brill, Bro.

  7. Lerrinus says:

    You’ve really outdone yourself, NOMTOM, great work!

  8. starling says:

    I just -knew- it’d be Ralphie!

  9. Patinkular says:

    Mike, your captions are hilarious. This one, plus the mafia accountant white cat. Keep up the good work.

  10. Brill-e-ant!

  11. balamuthia says:

    Theo took the words right out of my mouth- er, keyboard!


  12. i second DKN. this narrative just hit my heart.

    seriously, the puppies were at first all walking together like that?

  13. paigeygirl says:

    Ahh, they’re Oregon puppies! (Klamath Falls scares me, too, guys.)

  14. And then me and Danny double-human-dared Ralphie to stick his tongue against the frozen flagpole…

  15. Kathleen says:

    Oh my… I don’t know which is better: the photos or your descriptions. It’s too much!

  16. shahinrani says:

    Oh, they are tasty things!!!

  17. The Other One Michelle says:

    I heart your stories.

  18. shahinrani says:

    That sounded creepy. I MEANT that they are adorable and I would nibble their ears.

    …I do not eat puppies.

  19. I keep reading this over and over and over again because it makes me laugh so hard. INSTANT FAVORITE!! Love love love LOVE it!!

  20. Cutest puppies EVER (though I seem to say that every time)!

    I loves me lab pups, especially multiple lab pups!

  21. I see a blockbuster. The next Blair Witch…only better….and with puppies. Oh you have to sell this idea to Disney…no, no, no…Tim Burton. Johnny Depp in the lead, natch, and Helena Bonham Carter as Marlys. I’d go see it!

    TW…”double-human-dared” had me in stiches 🙂

  22. Nomtom, this is just great. It made my day. Thank you.

  23. Whenever someone says the word “puppy” THIS is the sort of puppy I imagine in my head. Perfect in every way.

  24. Paunchie says:

    That was adorable, perfect little story!! Ha ha. I lubbs the one with the snow on his schnozzle!

  25. Great storytelling! You must have been fun at sleepovers and camping trips with your pals.

  26. catlovechanel says:

    Aren’t they such natural posers? oooo, aaa.

    This should go to the Cute Lab for cute-in-tas-tic investigation.
    (yuck yuck)

    What if in the next installment, they met the 4 mafia black cats in the alley.

    I’d bet on the cats.

  27. Yes, they are definitely tasty things. Who should be wrapped in sweaters like Beef Wellington or at least a corndog.

    BTW, did anyone else catch that classic Princess Di look in the first pic?

  28. first thought: OMG puppies!!!1!!
    second thought:

    Love it, NTMTOM.

  29. Fabulous!! hahahaaaa

  30. AuntieMame says:

    LOLing out loud, NOMTOM!

    And they drove away and when they got home…there was a hook hanging from the car door handle! o.O

  31. Seconding Theo and DKN. I’ll take all 4 puppies please!

  32. Also, rule #28 for pup second in from the right!

  33. Paunchie says:

    1st pic – second puppy from the right must be Marlys! She looks like she has a little crush on the other one!

  34. …in the first picture, that is.

  35. katiedid says:

    LOL.. Great story!!!

  36. This story is entirely too cute! Love it!

  37. Samantha says:

    Awesome! Love the puppies and the story.

  38. @ AuntieMame: hook hanging from the car door … LOL!!!

    Adorable pups, awesome story.

  39. I applaud the literary merit of this suspenseful tale! Oh, and the cuteness!

    I’m havin’ puppies for dinnerrrrrrrr. (reaching for Yellow Lab at end of bed)

  40. tracyflick says:

    I. Can’t. Take. It.


    I can’t breathe right now.

  41. Hovertext lies! You ARE a tasty thing!!


  42. Jennifer Conroy says:

    Does Lynda Barry get any credit for inspiring this story?


  43. @Jennifer Conroy: Yep. 🙂 I’ve enjoyed her work for a long time.

  44. PS – snoseflakes!

  45. First thought: DOGBUTTS!!!!!!

    Second thought: Why can’t I live somewhere that looks like that? Preferably with puppies.

  46. LOL – excellent narrative!

  47. FuzzBob Chubbypants says:

    CO Peeps — I need your help. I just read a really, really, really, really sad article in the paper. Now I’m super sad. Need something to perk me up. More cute?

  48. This is too scary for me. I must hug a puppy immediately. Or, ideally, four puppies.

  49. There’s a children’s book in there somewhere.

  50. PJ — I’ve been scrutinizing those photos for hours and I just can’t see it.

    I’m pretty sure I found Waldo, though.

  51. DanBenZvi says:

    That was thoroughly awesome, NOMTOM.

  52. FuzzBob…check out this video, stat! It was posted here a while back but is worth the re-watch… a baby goat jumping around. Best of luck.

  53. I don’t know what it is with the world nowadays, FuzzBob. My brother in law teaches at a technical school north of Stuttgart. Needless to say we almost had a heart-attack when we saw the news yesterday. Luckily it wasn’t his school, but this guy ran rampant around his neighbourhood. Yikes.

  54. Let’s do a Lynda Barry shout-out Meg! This was a hilarious riff on her – classic.

  55. Lynda Barry? Hmm. I was thinking NTMTOM’s post reminded me of Stephen King’s “The Body” which got adapted into the movie “Stand By Me”…either way, LOVE the post, NTMTOM!

  56. @BouvieGal: Now that you bring it up, I think I blended a little Stephen King *and* Lynda Barry in that post.

    And thanks to all for the nice comments. This was a lot of fun to write, and I’m glad you enjoyed it, too.

  57. i stopped in klamath falls once, in the dead of the night. i can tell you from experience those are brave puppies! fantastic captions! (and nice nod to beaverton.)

  58. Yeah, I had flashbacks to Stand By Me and to the Lynda Barry comics and also to A Christmas Story (I think TW was hinting at that one, too) plus this one time at summer camp when the counsellors kept us up late telling spooky stories, and then there was a loud crash and the cabin door swung open and the candle blew out…. yeah, that was scary. Wonderful post NOMTOM; I loved it.

  59. I would love to have a camp out with all the co peeps, toast marshmallows and have NOMTOM tell us stories all night.

  60. @ BouvieGal:
    So I wasn’t the only one associating to Stand By Me?!

    @ NTMTOM:
    The narration of the pups’ adventure was like a mashup of The Goonies and A Christmas Story, Stand By Me and for some reason -IT!

    Great story telling and omg puppies!!1! =D

  61. Lynda Barry land! i knew it would involve puppies!

  62. These babies are so cute. It made me cry, as we are currently struggling with the decision of having to euthanize our 14 year old black lab who can now longer walk on his own and has difficulties staying upright even to eat his food. Brings back wonderful memories of the day we brought home our 11 week old baby.

  63. Mrs. McGinty says:

    So WHAT HAPPENED when everybody got back to the cabin?

    *waits impatiently for next chapter*

  64. sounds like a story from Lynda J Barry comics….

  65. Michelle S. says:

    I <3 NTMTOMike.

    😀 😀

  66. Michael B says:

    Klamath Falls? I don’t get the title. Is that a city in Oregon?

  67. Gail (the first one) says:

    @mooseb: What an awful dilemma to have. I know that whatever you decide, it will be because you love your sweet doggie. Keeping you in my thoughts….

  68. Loved the story! and the puppies!

  69. Gail (the first one) says:

    NTMTOM, you’re so funny!!! I truly enjoy your posts. I was thinking “Stand By Me”, too. BUT, I can also see how “It” would come to mind…..

    Cute little puppers, too.

  70. berthaservant says:

    yes yes yes yes yes

    This post is full of so much awesomeness I cannot comprehend.

    NTMTOM, you are indeed the King of Just-Too-Muchery.

  71. essensual says:

    I was turned into an 8 year-old for a few minutes. What a great story! Thanks!!!

  72. Elisha B says:

    Just knew it was NTMTOM created story….awesome pups. Hope they had as much fun as we had seeing them.

  73. totalee puppy says:

    NTMTOM…Your stories are the best–so redonk and also so easy to believe. I’m sure you had a blast writing about the puppies–
    sure was great to read.

  74. LovelyAnomaly says:

    This is one of the best stories yet! Keep it up NTMTOM!

  75. totalee puppy says:

    mooseb–caring thoughts to
    you and your black lab-Awww, poor big baby–sounds like the beginning of more difficult times for
    your nice dog, but that’s for the vet to say. We care here at CO–hope to hear from you.

  76. kibblenibble says:

    mooseb…I’m sorry, that’s so hard.

  77. kibblenibble says:

    And NOMTOM, I’ll get in line behind everyone else, but I love you, man…

  78. Subhangi says:


    Good job, NOMTOM!

    I LOVE labradors! ^_^

  79. I don’t understand the title either, and I grew up in Klamath Falls! Can someone please explain? How exciting to see my hometown featured on CO. Now if I can only figure out what it all means…. :o)

  80. N. Fritz says:

    mooseb, our wire-haired dachshund was 15 years old and in the same condition. The vet helped us make the decision with one simple question:

    “Is she having any fun?”

  81. The puppy second from the right has a guilty look on his face- i think he’s in cahoots with Old Man Morris.

  82. Stephsteph says:

    Yeah, that story had Lynda Barry written all over it.

  83. AuntieMame says:

    I don’t know the Klamath Falls has any particular significance except for sounding hilarious. At least, that’s the significance it had for me.

  84. One of my all time favorite posts. Great pics, great story!

  85. Hon Glad says:

    If you go down to the woods today, your sure of a big supprise.

  86. Blimmin’ brilliant! I love CO anyway but the captions really make it! NTMTOM = genius 😀

  87. Pumpkin Giraffe says:

    This was just what I needed this morning! Thanks, sender-inners!

  88. mooseb- I’m so sorry for your situation. I’m thinking of you. Best wishes.

    I so remember telling the hook-man story when I was young.
    Such adorable doggies!! Instant classic. Thanks for bringing cheer to a hideous work week!

  90. Pure brilliance. You really outdid yourself on this one, Mike.

  91. I want to see the entire movie, now! Tom who isn’t that Tom, but another Tom, needs to write for Disney. Great job!

  92. Jenn in IL says:

    A) I am COMPLETELY head over heels for the one who says that he’s NOT a tasty treat. Holy crap, would you LOOK at that face??

    B) Look at the size of the PAWS in the first picture…big doggies!

    C) So clever. Loved it all.

  93. zeldapie says:

    Oh wow, this brings back memories of summer camp and ghost stories and bratty kid sisters!

    Hey wait, I’m the kid sister!

    These pups are too anerable for words!!!!

  94. Your captions are hilarious!!!

  95. Mooseb…so sorry to hear about your doggie. It is a difficult decision. When we had to decide about our last pup, who had a tumor in her tummy, my Dad pointed out that quality or life should be taken over quantity. Our baby was in so much pain and there was nothing that could be done, so we let her go. I wish you luck and GOD bless!

    Oh auntyb, count me in for the camp out, and I’ll bring the smores!

  96. Laureling says:

    Mooseb, my heart goes out to you. As you can see by the comments a lot of us have been where you are now and you have our sympathy. You’ll know when it’s time, I know it’s not easy, but know that you have a bunch of virtual friends standing with you through this difficult time.

    And also, OMG! Lab puppies! Squee!!!!!!!!

  97. puglets rule says:

    Excellent ntmtom – as usual!!

    Paunchie – that one is def Marlys! 🙂

  98. Mary (the first) says:

    Love this.. I’m in the ” I heart NTMTOM” line too. Love the pups and the story.
    Mooseb, we are all here for you but as someone said, the decision is easier if you just ask “is he having fun?” I read somewhere that you should think of their 3 favorite things to do, for example, “walkies, play with cat BFF, lunch” and when they can’t enjoy those 3 things any more.. it’s time.

  99. Kristabelle says:

    NOMTOM, great storytelling!
    Gorgeous pups!

    Mooseb, you are in my thoughts during this difficult time. No time seems to be the right time. ((((HUGS))))

  100. Starlight/Cyarra says:

    hey NO fair! How come they don’t have to wear their seatbelts but we do! That is a rip-off!

  101. as someone who got divorced in klamath falls 10 years ago, i have to say i’m glad these little guys weren’t there then…or i’d have had a much harder time leaving the place (freakshow that it is!)

  102. SaintStryfe says:

    Snownose! It’s a snownose!

  103. There’s definitely a children’s book in there somewhere!

  104. Cordelia says:

    So precious!

    I thought of “Stand By Me” too, but this is better! It definitely needs to be turned into a children’s book!

    Mooseb, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. My thoughts are with you.