Beauty is Serious Business

by Not That Mike The Other Mike on February 16, 2009

"Oh, hi there!  I’m just having my tips frosted with beeswax and crushed rose petals, and then I’ll be getting a mud pack facial with Navajo red clay flown in specially from Arizona.  And after that, I go into the rock tumbler for 20 minutes with some vanilla bean and talcum powder."

If I wasn't willing to look this stupid, I'd never look fabulous!

That Mr. Rudolpho is simply a wizard with beeswax, Roar.

{ 42 comments }

1 lurkingsmirk 02.16.09 at 5:19 pm

wow! what does all that do?

2 wannadance 02.16.09 at 5:23 pm

bleen?

mike, you are just plain NUTS and i love you!!!

3 wannadance 02.16.09 at 5:24 pm

lurkingsmirk? you’re a guy, right?

4 kibblenibble 02.16.09 at 5:25 pm

Rock tumbler!?! Gaah! LOL!

5 starling 02.16.09 at 5:26 pm

Nice “before”, how about an “after”?

6 Theresa 02.16.09 at 5:32 pm

Rock tumblers, the latest in exfoliation!

7 biscuithead 02.16.09 at 5:34 pm

With too much beauty processing, this pooch risks obscuring his/her natural cuteness.

No need to tumble a dog for us to find it adorable.
Don’t want to cause dain brammage, after all.

8 i_wuvs_puttins 02.16.09 at 5:37 pm

And if we leave the house looking like that, we’ll always bump into someone we know and wish we hadn’t!

9 Theresa 02.16.09 at 5:38 pm

Re: the hovertext– How true!!

10 kibblenibble 02.16.09 at 5:39 pm

BTW I want to boop that little black olive of a nose…BOOP!

11 cass 02.16.09 at 5:49 pm

What in the world is all that for?

12 foxy 02.16.09 at 6:04 pm

I second the vote for after pics if they can be found. Or even before before pics. Or both.

13 Theo 02.16.09 at 6:08 pm

Suggested finishing touch: 11 minutes in the JPL primary wind tunnel.

14 Janet in Cambridge 02.16.09 at 6:12 pm

Poor show dogs…

15 Chanya 02.16.09 at 6:15 pm

Awwww – the price for beauty. For Maltese show dogs they bind up their long, fine hair up like that so that it doesn’t get tangled. Because if it does it might have to be cut, causing holes in the hair, which results in point deductions. I just keep my darling cute Maltese in a puppy cut, which I think is so much cuter then the long mop show style :)

16 Theresa 02.16.09 at 6:32 pm
17 crazyweinerdoglady 02.16.09 at 6:55 pm

They wrap up all the hairs that hang down and before they go in the ring they pull it all out and it’s straight and ready to go. No knots or tangles. You normally see dogs with long ears wrapped in brightly colored vet wrap right before a show. The vet wrap is what’s normally used.

18 crazyweinerdoglady 02.16.09 at 6:57 pm

Ok I just realized I’m the biggest dog dork in the world because I know that LOL

19 Joy 02.16.09 at 6:59 pm

As a metalsmith, I use big rock tumblers all the time for my metal finishing, but to put the poor dog in a rock tumbler, that will hurt big-time. Better to put vanilla in a big wheel and let dog wheel himself like a hamster.

20 nancy 02.16.09 at 7:00 pm

@Theresa: thanks! I just about shot spring roll out my nose!

21 Lerrinus 02.16.09 at 7:04 pm

Lol @ Theresa’s pic, it looks a bit like Star Trek’s Pavel Chekov! :-D

22 Theresa 02.16.09 at 7:07 pm

I was thinkin’ Dorothy Hamill myself. ;)

23 berthaservant 02.16.09 at 7:27 pm

I instantly thought of this from Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil”:

http://img.slate.com/media/1/123125/2067927/2134291/2137146/060323_DVD_BrazilEX.jpg

24 Michelle S. 02.16.09 at 7:39 pm

heehee! I love this post. Oh what we have to endure for the sake of beauty.

25 Decca 02.16.09 at 7:46 pm

So I say to Leo, I say “listen Leo, if you’re gonna stay out all night chasing some bitch you’re gonna keep finding the door locked.” And he says to me… Hey, Mr. Rudolpho, are you listening or are you thinking about your next haircut?

26 Theresa 02.16.09 at 7:47 pm
27 nottmi 02.16.09 at 8:16 pm

takeaway lesson: dogs are toys. do to your dog things that amuse you and onlookers, rather than things fun or good for the dog.

no thanks! when i hang out with my animal friends, we do stuff that is fun for all concerned, not just for the humans.

28 lurkingsmirk 02.16.09 at 8:32 pm

@wannadance

I’m girl, very feminine one at that. Just not familiar with dog grooming and couldn’t recall a Maltese with a perm.

29 Robin 02.16.09 at 9:01 pm

Wow!

30 scooterpants 02.16.09 at 9:48 pm

i hope in the ‘off season’ she gets to wear her hair in a nice short ‘bob’.

31 Mel2 02.16.09 at 10:54 pm

Hairdo? I thought it was a clever way of bringing poop bags along on walks.

32 AuntieMame 02.16.09 at 11:53 pm

nottmi, grooming IS good for the dog…

33 Sandy 02.17.09 at 12:00 am

Theresa: I am still trying to cough out that m&m I inhaled at seeing that picture. HYSTERICAL And what’s best is the look on the pup’s face.

This tissue/rubber band wraps are used primarily on toy breeds like Maltese (here) and Yorkies, because their hair is EVERYWHERE and so long for their teeny little bodies. They do these little packets all over their bodies. The aforementioned vet wrap is perfect for ears or tails, but would be like full-body mummifying yourself with Ace Bandages if you tried that on one of these very hairy little guys. But when you let that hair down, they look like silk scarves. So pretty. My Maltese? Definitely in a puppy cut. But he isn’t a show pup. He’s just the love of my life. No ribbons for that!

34 Stacy 02.17.09 at 7:08 am

As far as an after pic, if this is an american dog, I think it is a dog named Smarty. Here is his what he looks like without all the wraps
http://www.rhapsodymaltese.com/shownews.html

35 Hon Glad 02.17.09 at 7:09 am

Goggie, When i get out of this, my vengence will be swift and rhadamanthine.

36 Jennifer 02.17.09 at 8:55 am

Ok, re: Stacy’s pic: freakin ridiculous! Not cute! Weird! Cut that hair and let the doggie be bouncy and have fun. Gah.

37 chanpon 02.17.09 at 2:11 pm

Lil pup has cut himself shaving with dad’s razor?

38 Theresa 02.17.09 at 2:23 pm

“Rhadamanthine”? WOW!!

39 Theresa 02.17.09 at 2:48 pm

Jennifer, I’m not a big defender of AKC and hyper-bred dogs in general. But one thing I would never claim is that the dogs don’t have fun. Those dogs love the fuss, love the sociability, and love to show off.

40 wannadance 02.17.09 at 6:35 pm

lurkingsmirk: ooooops, so sorry!! that’s what i get for posting before i have tea.

i know nada about dawgs, was just seeing it as reedonkulous stuff like i recall from the -50s onward, trying to get my mop hair to ‘look pretty’.
actually, make that the -40s…

i always felt as dumb as that bebbeh looks like he feels.

okay, okay. enough. pleeeesed to make your acquaintance…

41 Poe 02.18.09 at 3:04 am

GET THAT DOG SOME ALPO!

42 stacy 02.21.09 at 3:54 am

Ok not the dog I posted as an ‘after’, I don’t know who this dog is

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