The Dog Did It

"Touch nothing!" ordered Inspector LaFlange as he entered the study.  In the room were the bodies of T. Randolph Flosswinkle, billionaire inventor of sonar-guided nose-hair clippers, and his top accountant, Bryce Porterhouse. Immediately, the Inspector’s keen senses picked up the scent of foul play. "This was no accident," he declared.  "This case has the unmistakable odor — OF MURDER!"

If you took me off that high-fiber dog food, these things wouldn't happen.

Do NOT go in there, Stacy C.

Comments

  1. lurkingsmirk says:

    someone better bring in the butler!

  2. laureling says:

    Ewwwwww….Dog farts are lethal! And they always look so innocent.

  3. I must disagree–I’ve never seen an innocent-looking dog fart in my life.

  4. My question is this: Who closed the windows?
    Who? Who, who who?

  5. Inspector LaFlange then lit his cigarette and they were all blown to kingdom come.

    THE END.

  6. catloveschanel says:

    That’s Mike there laying on the couch, I’ll bet.

    Q. But if he is dead, how did he post this?

    A: It was a dead post.

  7. Wow…what a boring looking group. No wonder they’re all asleep.

  8. I want to live in that house. After the smell is gone, I mean.

  9. Gail (the first one) says:

    “Next on a very special “Murder She Wrote”…..Jessica gets the vapors when the room smells of MURRRDERRR”

  10. Will someone PLEASE light a match already!?

  11. It was Fido, in the Den, with the Gaseous Emanations. Do I win?

  12. Skip — maybe after the accountants are also gone.

  13. Mary (the first) says:

    I like that rug. The dog too. I wonder what those guys have been doing to be so pooped. ??

  14. Oh, I first assumed that they were out cold from the cuteness.

  15. momof2kitties says:

    That looks like my house after thanksgiving dinner. Minus the elegant furnishings. There must not be any children living in that house.

  16. Those ARE the children.

  17. (…were?)

  18. Won’t somebody think of the children???

  19. Von Zeppelin says:

    Personally, I think those silver-haired, suspenders-wearing Capitalist Oppressors of the Masses deserve lethal farts in their general direction. Their accountants, too. Good Boy! Good Boy! (Head pat, ear skritch, offered Snausage)

  20. Just Passing Through says:

    You know these guys are lawyers. There has to be a lawyer joke out there somewhere.

  21. Biscuitz4Bearz says:

    Yaaaaaaaaay! Fart jokes!

  22. Blueheron98 says:

    Not a very “Cute” picture, where does this fit into the rules of cuteness? (studying official manual)…
    lets get back to fuzzy kitties and puppehs! :)

  23. The puppeh didn’t do eet. I can feel it in my bones.

  24. there is an indentation (slight) on the couch… therefore I believe it was the kitty with the candlestick on catnip!

  25. Oh lay off Walter, it’s not his fault.

    He’s really a good boy and a loving doggie.

  26. That’s no home, that’s a fancy schmancy office! And those guys were finally strangled by their own neckties [about time], and the dog simply died of boredom.

  27. Beth (in NC) says:

    Oh, the children can drop fart bombs just like the rest of us.

    So…

    Won’t somebody think of some BEANO?????!????

  28. scooterpants says:

    blueheron98 i too am in search of the cute factor in this postink. maybe it will jump up and slap me in the face any minute now…..
    waiting…
    patiently….

  29. fish eye no miko says:

    llism said: “I must disagree–I’ve never seen an innocent-looking dog fart in my life.”

    Yeah, unless you have synesthesia, I don’t imagine you have… ^_~

  30. catloveschanel says:

    I think it’s more like a still life, sp.

  31. FENM — synesthesia is where everything — words, letters, countries — has a color in your mind. Maybe you’re thinking of Smell-O-Vision? ;)

  32. Bettysioux says:

    Seriously, who lives in this house? this has to be staged two men in a perfectly clean and tiday livingromm!! Astonishing

    [Possibly they could afford help, y'know, at least until last year... - Ed.]

  33. wannadance says:

    farts are always cute.

    so there.

  34. I agree with Blueheron98
    and scooterpants. :(

  35. I’m sorry but I DO see the cute in this picture, it’s just a different kind. Wouldn’t want it every day but it’s nice once in a while.

  36. berthaservant says:

    lol at every single one of Theo’s comments.

    but there’s nothing funny about unwanted pet odors.

  37. That’s pretty, damn cute for a crime scene!

    Awww. Ya just want to pinch all their sleepy cheeks. ;D

  38. Actually the room is creeping me out – too, too perfect. Like a Bombay Company catalogue or something…dog’s cute though. The guys? Eh…meh!

    And the whole Clue thing is just priceless…

  39. Michelle S. says:

    My eyes are stinging.

  40. Von Zeppelin says:

    Cute? You want cute? How about that great dog in the “running-after-rabbits-while-asleep position. Also, the potted palm. Very cute, in a palmy sort of way.

  41. Von Zeppelin says:

    Please insert close quotes after the word “position” in my previous post. Sorry. It’s the martinis typing.

  42. There there, Michelle, it’ll be all right. They’re only knocked out.

  43. Martinis… typing… whoa

  44. AWWwwww … All three of the big babies are conked out … And I think I see a lil drool from the big fella on the right …

  45. S’ok, Von Zep, it was only a tini typo.

  46. fish eye no miko says:

    Theo said: “FENM — synesthesia is where everything — words, letters, countries — has
    a color in your mind.”

    So a smell–like a fart–would have color, which is visual, and thus you could see it. That was kind of my point.

    Besides, there are all kinds of different ways it can manifest itself, not just the visual. I remember seeing a thing about synesthesia where a woman talked about colors having tastes.

  47. Make it a tini tiki tipo and you’ve got yourself a bartender.

  48. FENM — OK… I only really know how our eldest describes it.

  49. vegas vickie says:

    I like the puppy runing in sleep idea, Von Zeppelin. BUT that room is bigger than my whole apartment… the rich get richer and ….. well you know.

  50. …the terrier gets gassier

  51. I wanna snap the suspenders!

  52. pyrit – That’s one way to make sure they’re really dead.

  53. …turns out these fellas are only Mostly Dead.

  54. berthaservant says:

    Not only are they REALLY dead, but truly and SINCERELY dead.

  55. I think that the dog is just an innocent victim here. That guy in the suspenders looks guilty to me–he’s in the “just launched” position, so I think someone needs to save the puppy!

  56. This isn’t cute; it’s a couple of overweight lawyers crashed out with an adult dog sleeping on the floor. Where is Disapproving Chick when you need him?

  57. I’m struck by the tasseled runner hanging off the table. I don’t think my dogs would leave that alone. At the very least, it would be knocked askew accidentally.
    Mysterious and odd picture. I like it a lot!

  58. Someone poke them with a stick.

    [Hmmm... maybe just tickle the dog & save the stick for the suits - Ed.]

  59. I could live with that.

  60. FENM, (and TEHO)– Yes, I think syneshesia does manifest itself in lots of ways. Some people ‘hear’ colors as different sounds (or maybe ‘see’ sounds as different colors?). There’s a good YA novel called “A Mango-Shaped Space”. Fascinating stuff.

  61. “It wasn’t the dog!” exclaimed the Inspector. “It was the accountant after he smothered his steak in horsradish!” What a deadly and dasdardly deed. To always blame the poor pooch.

  62. Synesthesia, *puts on pedant glasses* or “synAEsthesia” as some prefer, is in fact a confusion of one sensory pathway with any other; it can manifest itself in a variety of different ways (e.g., tasting sounds, seeing music, hearing smells, etc.) and is thus not limited to seeing non-visual cues in colour, the latter being a condition more specifically referred to as “color-graphemic synesthesia”. *removes pedant glasses*

  63. The cat has reported their Ponzi scheme, so they took cyanide.

  64. Blueheron and scooterpants: It’s not the picture sillies, it’s the fart comments!!

  65. Grinning at the funneh caption, pic and comments.

  66. I’m always late to the party! I like the blinds/window treatment: very film noir or Miami Vice.

    But why is the dog crashed out on the floor and not up on sofa next to the man? I think there is room for one more on that sofa, if that guy would move over just a little. That might make photo cuter… maybe not.

    No, actually, I would put the man on the floor and the dog on the sofa.

  67. Hm, could it be that the boxer dog is really a butler dog? It’s always the butler did it, but … did he???? Da-d’da-da-DUNNNNNN!!!

  68. you guys are really being jerks. you dont know the people in the picture and yet you jump to bas hthem, saying they are “capitalist oppressors” and deserve to be strangled with their own neckties……thats just straight up mean. you dont deserve cuteness.

  69. I think this is after Thanksgiving dinner food coma. Notice the fall/harvest type decorations on the coffee table.

  70. What is with all the success hate? Since when do we all strive for poverty?

    Get over it.

  71. They are probably all sacked out because they worked 62 hours this week.

  72. Jillger, Nikki — you’re right, after last year, they’re both probably impoverished and clinically depressed. My bad. Let’s cuddle ‘em! WHO’S WITH ME??

    [snort]

  73. Sorry, not me. I didn’t realize that there was a financial cutoff where we stopped caring about our fellow man and appreciating the cuteness of the animals that they share their lives with.

    Now that I have been informed… maybe I should find some panhandlers to bash. They usually have some ‘prop’ dog with them that you might find cute enough.

  74. Oh lighten up a little, Nikki. Some folks are doubtless very, very jealous of the situation pictured here, given… y’know, everything that’s been going on. And maybe they let that sentiment bleed through sideways into their comments.

    Me, I just try to go for the funny. If the joke’s at the expense of these two boys, well, it looks like they can afford it a darn sight better than I can.

  75. carriesthekittiessecretary says:

    Death by Farts! LOL

  76. Awww, I think it’s adorable that the guys are all zonked out after the holiday meal. Or maybe they fell asleep while waiting for the women to finish getting dressed? And I think it’s adorable that someone (who probably loves them) thought they were adorable enough to take a picture of them.

  77. We definitely need pics like these to help NTMTOM show off his captioning chops.

    Fans of NTMTOM unite!!

  78. Sunnymom–too funny–I snorted my iced coffee and nearly drowned!

  79. Wait. ICED coffee?
    Annie it’s the 23rd of January. Where do you live?

  80. Why does this look like it’s all in minature? (maybe it’s the next episode of CSI?)

  81. they look like lawyers to me…. that stank ain’t from the dawg….

  82. PS that couch sure looks like it’s seen its share of naps

  83. Are these the guys who were supposed to warn us about the mortgage meltdown before it was too late? Now that’s what I call silent but deadly.

    LOL at CSI miniature reference.

  84. mervtheflamingo says:

    I kinda agree with Nikki (sorry). No ill will just b/c people are well dressed and have a nice … office??

    Also, no assumption that these folks are lawyers, and then lawyers = always bad

    there are plenty of really nice, really poor, public interest lawyers out there trying to save the world little pieces at a time.

    (Also I think this is cute!)

    Merv

  85. HILAR!

  86. I don’t think its particularly cute, but the whole thing has been making me giggle!!!

    And isn’t that just as good as teh Qte?

  87. Synesthesia is when one sense gets substituted for another. So a person can see sounds, hear colors, taste textures, etc.

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