Where’s the ‘Aloofness’ axis?

Otherwise, this makes sense to me.



You’re a Sender-Inner Kristin J.! YES!!!! More XKCD comics herrrrre!



  1. aw so true! <3 xkcd.

  2. This is maybe THE classic XKCD comic, if I had to choose only one.

  3. (XKCD is reason we started doing hovertexts, by the way)

  4. wait, what? THIS IS NOT MEG, this is THEO, dub tee eff, hang on…

  5. This is maybe THE classic XKCD comic, if I had to choose only one. Oh — and XKCD is reason we started doing hovertexts here, by the way.

    Hope you can find humor in math. 😉

  6. I LOVE xkcd. And shouldn’t that be “You’re a kitty witty widdle gahhhh…..”?

  7. Origamigryphon says:

    Nah, it’s more like “Kitty!! Who’s a kitty? Who’s a kitty? YOU’RE A KITTY YES YOU IS *cooing unintelligible baby talk*

    I should know, I am quite guilty of this. X3

  8. Jennie Mello says:

    You know you got it bad when you call your 4 year old daughter by your kitty’s name, and she is ok with it….

  9. Origamigryphon> That’s what happens when you’re even closer to a kitty.

    Theory is also applicable to dogs.

    “Who’s a widdle puppy wuppy boo face?”

  10. I love xkcd! I imitate this cartoon all the time. I also inform my cats that THEY ARE BIG FUUZZY PURR MACHINES and THEY ARE SOOOO CUTIE CUTE!

  11. Meriweather says:

    You didn’t include the alt text from the comic.

    “And you’re sitting there! Hello, kitty!”

    Always goes that extra inch to crack me up.

  12. Origamigryphon says:

    LOLDemon, this is true.
    Though with puppies, I just tend to squeal PUPPYPUPPYPUPPY endlessly while smooshing his face. <3

  13. We need a level of disdain.

  14. D’oh pish, I try, but I never *get* these. Siiiigh.
    I’m more of a slip-on-a-banana-peel, fall-off-a-dock type I guess. (turns to leave, bumps into door.)

  15. [looks down nose at Hon Glad]
    [goes back to counting beans]

  16. [suppresses a giggle at Pyrit]

  17. (steps on Theo’s toes)

  18. Agreed, Meriweather, the original hovertext is key!!

    Mine typically gets a “Demonkittyyyyyyy you’re so kyoooooooooooooot I love you!!”

    It’s a wonder they tolerate us.

  19. I won’t dance. Don’t ask me.

  20. This is my favorite xkcd cartoon too! That and http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/ .

  21. [Clicking the comic now links you directly to the original… – Ed.]

  22. I am so guilty of this and I do this with kitties, squirrels, woobies (dogs)….

  23. wannadance says:

    xkcd is new to me!! such a revelation. i totally get it. and love math as it happens. the one about spinning counterclockwise to slow down time is HOPELESSLY tearingly romantic to me. i can see that i will be either here or there for the next month or so.

    i guess it reminds me of my nerdy dork years, starting from age 1, extending till age 67. also reminds me of all my dork friends, who are many and profuse.


  24. wannadance says:

    personal hovertext for jasmine: swweeeetie, preeeeety, lookit that nose, that kitteny nose and those eyes, all slanty and yellow and …so on, enumerating her many beauties. she looks bored.

  25. Space Cowgirl says:

    I have this printed out and taped to the wall.

    My favorite XKCD comic, however, is the Rock Band one:

    “You know, playing that doesn’t make you cool like a real rock band.”


  26. LOL I love xkcd… my favorite one is where he tapes captions to the cats .. because he ran out of staples hehehe…

  27. That’s o.k. Theo, you’re lovely anyway.

  28. Either you are aloof or you are not. The more in the proximity of kittiness you are the more aloof you are. Therefore and obviously, the aloofness axis is built in to the graph in its entireness, proving without question the entire certainty of the question you have presented. Proof positive of this statement can be
    recognized as kitty poo.

  29. puglets rule says:

    Jennie M – I call my 17 year old son by my pugs name and have for years (not on purpose)….thank god they tollerate me! He doesn’t find it as amusing as I do 🙂

  30. Kristabelle says:

    This reminds me of the Crazy/Hot scale on HIMYM!

  31. shahinrani says:

    LOL. This has been one of my favorite xkcd’s since Randall wrote it.

  32. wannadance says:

    but then there is also singingk: hello my honey, hello my baby, hello my ragtime CAT…’

    jasmine runs away.

  33. I don’t even have to be in “real” proximity. I just have to see them on TV– or on CO. Wuzza buzza fluzza!

    Doggies, too.

  34. I still don’t get it!
    Peeps, your comments are not helpingk! O-o
    You’re all aliens! 😉

  35. :PING: Fnertwog hasselblad zip trip brut estuary cheeeeeeeee! And spam.

  36. I don’t have much empirical evidence, but this pretty much holds true for bunnies as well. (“Who’s my sweat pea? You’re so cute! And so fat!”)

  37. Gail (the first one) says:

    And to tag onto Theresa’s comment, I *tell* the kittehs to look at the “horsies”, “moo-cows” etc. that are on the TV screen. Increases their disdain, I think…..

  38. Yes, Gail, totally. Just the fact that I actually use the word “doggies” . . .

  39. WHO is the kitty cat?
    You are! YOU are!
    (yes you are!)

  40. “Nations Dog Owners Demand to Know Who’s a Good Boy”

  41. cataddict says:

    This is what I do, with SweetPea instead of teapot and tail & snout instead of handle & spout. How silly is that? My other cat gets a version of “Macho Man’ Munchkin, Munchkin man, I gots to love my Munchkin man….


  42. ugh, xkcd is horrible.

    [is NOT. – Ed.]

  43. How embarrassing–I am living proof of the correctness of this graph!

    I had never heard of XKCD, but now I shall read more of their stuff.

  44. One of my all-time favorites. I’ve been e-mailing this to many friends – either they get it or they don’t. If not, there’s a whole side of me that feels totally rejected !

    And thanks, Theresa, that article is hee-larious. Must consult The Onion more often.

  45. And the kitty drawing in the corner is so keeyute !

  46. Theo- xkcd is new to me, too, I’ll have to go check it out.

    Shhh, you don’t want everyone to know the language-the Finns’ll figure it out first, no doubt.

    And, as I have been told, I am a “Non-Finn”.

    [Are you messing with me? Seriously, I can’t tell. http://teho.vox.com/library/posts/tags/xkcd/ – Ed.]

  47. I always chant “Who IS dat kitty? WHO is dat kitty? Who is DAT?”, like I expect them to answer. They give me the Travis Bickle, “You talkin’ to ME?!?” look.

  48. EaterofShades says:

    XKCD! Wooo!

  49. @cataddict – Mine is a little old-fashioned. To the tune of “Beautiful Dreamer”:

    “Beautiful kitties
    Furry and small
    You’re the most beautiful
    Cats of all”

    Please don’t tell anyone.

  50. My favorite is an eminent, much-published retired psychiatrist, who when he meets dog or cat, goes “Who’s dat down dere? WHO’S DAT DOWN DERE??!!”

  51. berthaservant says:

    Pyrit – the closer one gets to a kittie, the more likely one is to make inane silly comments to said kitty.

    Or, should I say, “Kitteh” or “Kittem” my two fave inane substitutions.

  52. This comic has been taped to a wall in my office for years! Here’s my version every day when I come home, “Sunny! Sunny Bunny! Who’s a sun bun, you are, yes you are! Howsdawiddle pumpkin muffin?? Awwww, such a tweetie pie, did you have a good day? Did you? I hope so? Did you soak up sunshine? Oh! So pretty! You’re such a pretty girl! Bootiful girl, such a sweetie! Okay, yes, you can have treats! Wanna treat? Sunny wanna treat? Okay!” And if looks could kill, I’d be dead!

  53. NotAnotherMilo says:

    I tend to sing You Are My Sunshine… in “meow” language. Or some version of the Oscar Meyer song “My milo is a kitten, i love him very much…”

    I went to Cinnabon once and realized that the girl behind the counter was singing to herself, softly, You Are My Sunshine in meow language. I realized two things:
    #1- I had crossed paths with a kindred spirit.
    #2- I am well on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady.

  54. Last week at the shelter I was with this, shall we say plus-sized cat, and some woman saw us through the window. There I am with about 20 lbs. of cat flopped onto my lap like a bag of rice and this lady starts speaking in a high-pitched voice “look at the widdle kitten! Look at the widdle kitten!” If ever there was an anti “widdle kitten” it’s this guy.

  55. Need to add something else… the song I sing to my Sunny bunny (cat):

    “Sunny, yesterday my life was filled with rain.
    Sunny, you smiled at me and really eased the pain.
    Now the dark days are gone, and the bright days are here,
    My Sunny one shines so sincere.
    Sunny one so true, I love you.

    Sunny, thank you for the sunshine bouquet.
    Sunny, thank you for the love you brought my way.
    You gave to me your all and all.
    Now I feel ten feet tall.
    Sunny one so true, I love you…”

  56. This is THE classic XKCD piece… I’ve sent it to everyone I know who appreciates cats. And yes, I’m guilty of this… as are the others here. Awwww.

  57. Oh berthaservant I could kiss you! You showeth me the light!
    Is that it? OMG…how adorable.

  58. Hahaha this is possibly my favourite one… except the guy from the internet gluing captions to the cats!

  59. I’ve always thought that if my apartment were bugged I would sound like a Crazy Dog Lady. Now I’m realizing that if my apartment were bugged I’d sound pretty much like the rest of you. (Who’s a fluffy muffin? YOU’RE a fluffy muffin.)

  60. @Theo-Oh, I would love to take credit for that, but the coincidence is in my favor, for once, thank you, Universe.
    And thank you, Theo for the benefit of the doubt.

  61. wannadance says:

    i have been on xkcd ALL THE LIVELONG DAY…most of it is really funny but some of it is very touching. the angular momentum one has been sent to various beloveds and mounted on desktop. it is stunning.

    speaking of which, i am loving every single pet confession here.

    laughingk and cryingk. gee, i reckon.

  62. Camille- I think all of us have this delightful playfullness, at least I like to think that!

  63. wannadance says:

    @theresa: i’ve been an onion freak for ages. used to even get it in paper…

    ever seen ‘journal of irreproducible results’? i got published once there!!

    preen, preen…

  64. LOL, that is one of the funniest things ever… especially as a huge cat lover 🙂

    Great stuff.

  65. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    OK, I feel compelled to add mine. I had birds before I started dog-sitting Boomer. I used to fuss over them like you all fuss over your dogs and cats! “Who’s the elegant birdie with the long, pretty feathers? You are, I know you are!!” Thing is with birds, they just love the attention and will strut around, spread their wings to be admired, and generally soak it all up. These days, I lavish it on Boomer, when I get to take care of him. His primary human and that one’s housemate are neither one very emotive. They look at me like I’m nuts if they see me greet Boomer with, “There he is, my favorite doggie! Did you save me any doggie kisses, did you? Did you? Oh boy, ohboyohboyohboy!!” He gets so wound up he’s literally spinning in a white fuzzy circle.

  66. oh my gosh…if my kitten could read he’d totally point me out on this one! I’m the worst! Even if he changes positions while he’s sleeping I squeal a little inside!

  67. I talk to my cat as if he were a human, actually. We have conversations.

    “Hi there.”


    “What did you get up to today, hmm?”


    “Oh, REALLY?”


    “Tell me all about it.”




  68. My inane cat endearment?

    Oh my goodness! You’re [unamused cat] FURRY! Really, you’ve got Fur!

  69. (to the tune of Oh My Darling, or Found a Peanut)
    “Oh, my kitties
    Oh, my kitties
    Oh, my fuzzy furry cats
    Oh, I love me some kitties
    all of the time”
    Syncopation may be a little off, but that’s okay!
    I also have conversations with my meezer-man, Decibel. Similar to C.’s, but with my half being “And then what happened; She did WHAT; Tell me about it;” etc. etc etc.

  70. “Decibel” is a good name for a male Siamese. I propose “Aria” for a female.

  71. Are these people in my house or something?

    Petra: Meow?

    Anner: That’s, right! You’re the kitty!


    Anner: Admit it! I can tell just by looking at you! Who but a kitty would have all those fluffs?

    Petra: Prrrra?

    Anner: Kitty kitty meow mewo moew!

    and so on.

  72. To the tune of All the Single Ladies:

    All the fluffy kitties!
    (All the fluffy kitties!)
    All the fluffy kitties!
    (All the fluffy kitties!)

    Put yer paws up!
    Show off yer fluffs,
    And your little jelly beans.

    You meow at us,
    we’ll meow at you,
    And give you some attenshons…

    And if you like it then you better put your scent on it
    If you like then you better put your scent on it
    If you pawed at it no other kitties gettin’ it
    And if you like it then you better put your scent on it!

    Meow, meow meow
    meow, meow, ma-meow!
    Meow, meow meow
    meow, meow, ma-meow!

  73. (this last is sung with a dance that involves a paw-scent-marking motion, like what they do around their dish. it makes a surprisingly funky dance.)

  74. cataddict says:

    NT Mel – Are you kidding- tell anyone?!!?? I’ve never told anyone that *I* sing to my kitties.

    Oh – and all of you – thanks for the great ideas for other songs for them! I think they were getting a little tired of just the one each…..

  75. Jennie Mello says:

    My kids were really embarrassed at the local alpaca farm recently when I talked to a very cute alpaca, saying “Helloooooo gorgeous, aren’t you a gorgeous fellow…are you a fellow? How can I tell? Thats a gorgeous boy…ooops girl…My goodness, you are gorgeous..etc etc”….then my son and I imitated their little cute meh-ing noises for about 1/2 an hour and were rewarded with noses sniffing our elbows.
    I guess what I am trying to say is two-fold:1)ALL creatures need inanity from their humans, and 2)more alpacas, anyone???

  76. Jennie Mello says:

    v. nice, Anner. A+ in lyrics and choreography!

  77. hrh.squeak says:

    I sing to my ratties. One, to the tune of the Hallelujah Chorus, goes: Whooo’s a rattie?/Whoooo’s a rattie,/Whooo’s a rattie, a rattie, a big fat ol’ rat?

    I also chant “I see your snout! I see your snout!”

    I think what they hear is “Treat treat treat”, no matter what I say.

  78. I am suspicious of anyone who doesn’t talk this way to their fluffy wuffy kittums and puppehs. (and bunnehs etc.)

    My floofy girl gets “Bootiful tortie, wake unto meee…” (eye opens, dirty look, back to sleep) For some reason, she gets talked to into an Outrageeous Frawnch Accent, while the tuxie-boy gets the Outrageeous Spanish Accent. Thus, Madame Tortie and Senor El Tuxo.

    (aside: wannadance, the more of your comments I read, the more I like you! J. of IR, wow!)

  79. This is one of my top 5 xkcd comics.

  80. About a week after I first saw this comic, I walked into a convenience store and saw a cat scamper down an aisle and instantly and reflexively proclaimed “YOU’RE A KITTY!!”


  81. thanks JM!

    hrh — omg, i was even sillier with my ratties than i am with my kitty. i used to chant “rattie-roo, roo, roo, roo, roo, roo, roo…” (in a slightly descending tuneless tune) over and over, in a high-pitched nasal voice. (because the voice you use with each animal must correspond directly to the size of its ears).

    my husband is a composer of experimental music and has said he’d like to do a piece that centers around me sitting on stage and reacting to different animals.

  82. lurkertype — my version goes “beautiful kitty, meow-mee-meow-meow”. not very creative, but it does the job.

  83. @CJ: This sounds very similar to the behavior people exhibit when they meet celebrities and tell them who they are; “You’re … you’re … PIERCE BROSNAN,” to which Pierce replies “thank you for reminding me, I’d left my driver’s license at home.”

  84. I usually do not like xkcd, but this one is definitely funny and true.

  85. Kristabelle says:

    I only have a second to respond – power outage and email down all afternoon – but I have a Sunnygirl dog that I sing all the Sunny songs to (You Are My Sunshine, and Sunny, Yesterday my life, etc) and a million others that I sing to both dogs. Wheatley is Sunny’s brother. I also have a bird, and we have conversations and I totally talk to her in “bird-ese”, which consists of these little whistley sounds I make… she responds in kind. The other day, a BIG CROW was sitting on my building cawing. I made my bird speak sounds to him and you know, he stopped and LISTENED TO ME!?!?! Then, he continued to caw, but it was a different sound.
    He was probably saying, “What in the hell was that gibberish?”
    We sing all the time around here. Every song is modified to fit the scenario, and I can’t count the songs that have been modified to Poop Songs… I sing outside while we walk…
    My latest rendition Yvonne Elliman would be so proud of… If I Can’t Have Poop… sigh. I know the dogs merely tolerate me.

  86. All KINDS of pop songs can be improved by substituting “you” with “poo”.
    Especially 70s stuff. Try it!

  87. Anner, what is the paw-scent-marking motion ? Mine, when they paw around their food dish, it’s as if to cover it in cat litter – “You don’t really expect me to eat this, do you ?”

  88. Rachel of Cyberia says:

    itsy bitsy
    teey weeny
    itty bitty

  89. @Not That Mike The Other Mike: I only exhibit this behavior when it comes to small furry critters and babies. And especially baby small furry critters. I think it’s my second X chromosome.

    But maybe I just see too many celebrities. 😉

  90. I had a whole repertoire of songs for Stinky.
    “Attend the tail of Stinky Todd,
    He has a black-and-white fuzzy bod.”

    “You’re a clean one, Mr. Stink,
    You really are a sight,
    Your fur’s so white and shiny,
    You glow in the dark at night,
    Mr. Stink!”

  91. Theo — I also find it fortunate that “cat” and “fat” rhyme. For example:

    (She’s fat, fat)
    (She’s such a fluffy cat)
    (She likes to hang out where we’re at)
    K-k-k-k-k-kit-tey, kit-teeey!

    Poohbear — If I understand correctly, they have scent glands in their paws. The pawing motion around the food dish is to make sure other kitties know it’s HER food. If I’m right (and I’m sure someone will chime in to corroborate or debunk) your cats likes the food you give them a lot more than you thought. If not, I guess mine thinks her Science Diet Lite is crap. Which, now that I think about it, kind of makes sense…I mean, what kind of flavor is “minced”?

  92. Oh jeez. My version: “Who’s my girl? You’re my girl! Yes, you!” I need therapy. I also talk like this to my rats. Sad state of affairs, here.

  93. I hadn’t noticed the “fish-shape” before…
    I’m petless (time, $$, and er, responsibility), but I’m guilty of this sometimes when I see a cat, though I’m not very good at it. Is there a manual in the For Dummies series? 😉

  94. This doesn’t even begin to cover my getting on all fours, rolling over onto my back, and rubbing up against my kitties when I’m home. Yup – I basically give the kitties a taste of their own medicine.

    I too uncontrollably squee “oh kitty!” anytime I see a cat in public, private, tv, work, etc.

  95. ant man bee says:

    I recall getting into a, um, dispute with my wife because she claimed that I used exactly the same endearments on her, and in exactly the same tone of voice, as I did on the cat.

    And when I say ‘my wife,’ I mean my ex-wife.

  96. ysubassoon says:

    I am guilty of all of the above except the dancing and rubbing-up-against. I talk to my cat in Meowglish. He says something, I respond in kind, and then I go back to English for a while.

    I also yell “Kitty!” at each cat I see, and proceed to inform him or her that yes, s/he is indeed a kitty. So I exhibit pretty much all of the behaviors of a Crazy Cat Lady without all of the cats. I’m low-maintenance crazy.

  97. classic XKCD! One of my favorite comics from that site. I’ve had it posted in my cube for a while. My other favorite: http://xkcd.com/210/ < -- 90s flowchart. buwhaahaha~

  98. wannadance says:

    been literally on xkcd all day, when not here, i mean.

    how, HOW, i ask you, did i not know about this? it encompasses all my life. i have been online since ‘online’ meant trying to type something out between the university and the gov/t office and it crashed multiple times and old DOS. no, before DOS.

    and yet i missed this??? it’s wonderful. i have LOLD, snorkd at both sites all day long. it’s very good for the body, btw.
    and there’s a plethora more. no dearth at all…
    sighs of satisfaction…

  99. XKCD in CO…two of my most favorite things on the interwebs, together.

  100. hrh.squeak says:

    Anner – I would tewtelly buy tickets for that concert. No, I would be the bringer-inner of the animals for you to coo at! Yay!

    Another rattie song goes: “Wat wat wat wat, Wat wat wat wat, Waaaat, loverly wat, Beautiful wat, loverly wat, wat, wat, wat . . . . ..” Puddins for whoever guesses the tune first!

  101. Bloody vikings…

  102. (pick a harder one next time 😉

  103. Gail (the first one) says:

    All my songs are set to the tune of whatever’s running through my mind (earworm) and basically have the same words……like lately, Winter Wonderland comes into my head and is sung:

    Cats will play,
    With the Kittens
    They don’t have any mittens,
    They play with their toys,
    Make lots of noise,
    Playin’ in a Kitty Wonderland

    Yes, well. I like to think they are happy that mommy is singing to them, but I suspect it’s more like “She is SO WEIRD.”

  104. This is a perfect cartoon! It also applies to bunnies. I turn into a big pile of goo the closer I get to them and say the dorkiest things to them…

  105. xkcd has owned my soul for sometime now. Never has a stick figure been so expressive.

    :3 And I’m that person who approaches the kitteh and/or doggeh with the opening line “Hiiiiiii Look at yoooou!! Look at yooooou!! So haaaaaandsome!”

  106. ok, now it’s time to confess something REALLY shameful. i can’t be the only one who sees a cat and automatically goes “o hai.”

  107. kibblenibble says:

    Kindred spirits, I’m so glad I’m not the only crazy animal person! Here’s my treat song for Bella and George to the tune of Frere Jacques:
    Treats are coming,
    Treats are coming,
    Here they come!
    Here they come!
    Gobble, gobble, gobble!
    Gobble, gobble, gobble!
    Yum, yum, yum!
    Yum, yum, yum!

  108. JohnnieCanuck says:

    A shiver just went down my spine, thinking what it might be like to see all of you in one room, being introduced to various fluffy cute-ums.

    Out of curiosity, are there any reports of men doing the “Who’s a kitty, you’re a kitty” routine?

    I admit I have conversations with our cats, but it’s more along the lines of “Mrrp”
    “But I just let you in two minutes ago.”

  109. Theo – I like the idea of naming a lady meezer ‘Aria’. I’ll keep it in mind when it comes time to getting Decibel a lil wifey 🙂

  110. I’m really enjoying everyone’s songs for your
    pets. I’ve been singing some of them, if I know the tune. My dog “Tony” is ten years old, and I call him “Puppy”.

  111. lurkingsmirk says:

    I like to rub my dog’s belly vigorously while I tell her that she is a dog, is she a dog? she is a doggggg. Then I sing her a song about herself to the tune of the Beatles’ Oh Darling.

  112. berthaservant says:

    I don’t do much of the classic kitteh/baby talk. I tend to speak to Bertha like a human (well, she has several pet names of course, Beast, Beasty, Bee-sting, Blackened Hellwhore of the Apocalypse, etc.) And Coco is very elegant and Theo’s just a jerk (not mod Theo).

    However, I have fallen into the pattern of greeting every canine (no matter at what distance) with “Oh, look, it’s a little dawg!” in a “Butters” voice from “South Park” (specifically, the “Casa Bonita” episode where Butters is led to believe he is the only survivor of a nuclear apocalypse so that Cartman can go to a fancy Mexican restaurant. I show that episode to teach ancient Greek dramatic theory, but I digress).


    “Oh, look, it’s a little dawg.”

  113. 😀

  114. hrh.squeak says:

    OK, Teho, scutterbotch or choklit? Sorry, but the rats LIKE Monty Python!

  115. mervtheflamingo says:

    This has been my “wallpaper” for quite some time now. So true. I find my self saying “Who’s a kitty? Who’s a pretty kitty” in a completely stupid voice at least once a day?

  116. Uhh I don’t get it? Someone please explain to me? *confused stare*

  117. Yappy Toga, HRH!
    Er, tapioca.

  118. Ah, worlds colliding excellently! <3 CO & XKCD!

  119. Kristabelle says:

    Gail (the first) – We’ve been singing Pooping in a Winter Wonderland lately. 😀 Yes, my life does revolve around their poops… sigh.

    Other Poop Song samples:
    Everybody Poops (Sometimes) – which I got my husband singing, much to his chagrin
    Poop Will Keep Us Together – specifically the chorus part. (Poop! Cuz I really love you! Poop! And I’m thinking of you..)
    Let’s Go Out to Poop, Today (which if you don’t watch How I Met Your Mother, you might not know)
    There are countless others…

  120. wannadance says:

    actually, i don’t do baby talk to jasmine. i do adult talk, pointing out her many virtues, downplaying her shortcomings, bringing interesting news items to her attention (‘lookit THAT kitty, now that’s a huge kitty, that’s because it’s a lion and it’s…etc’). i like to show her the critters that run around the back yard, when we are snuggled and looking out the window, like she hadn’t already seen them.

    what i love about this is that she sits and listens attentively, with an interested expression. for a while. she watches vids and tv. i almost taught her to play ‘solitaire’ once, but she lost interrest…
    she’s very patient with me.
    gooooood kitttttttty…

  121. This doesn’t seem to be credited to the original artist. This is part of a Dmitri Martin stand-up routine. His graphs are hilarious.

    [Nope. This one’s by Randall Munroe. Click it… – Ed.]

  122. JohnnieCanuck — my husband certainly does the “are you a kitty?” stuff. neither of us does it in classic baby talk, i guess. it’s more of a cheerful, conversational, but slightly-higher-pitched-than-normal voice. he also likes to tell her to “be a kitty.” i’m not sure if he got that from me. but it’s like “hey, petra! want to come here and be a kitty?”

    he is DEFINITELY the one who started meowing random songs. it started before we even had a cat. he’s the bigger cat person of the two of us.

  123. OOo, i just remembered one of my faves, inspired by Petras encounters with my parents’ late corgi, and the corgi next door.

    To the tune of The Farmer and the Cowhand from Oklahoma:

    Oh, the Corgi and the fluff-cat should be friends;
    Oh, the Corgi and the fluff-cat should be friends!
    Corgi likes to herd a cow,
    Fluff-cat likes to meow-meow-meow
    But that’s no reason why they can’t be friends!

    Furry animals should play together!
    Furry animals should snorgle up!
    Corgis romp with the little kittens!
    Kittens romp with the corgi pups!

  124. Gail (the first one) says:

    @anner: There’s a LOT of “Oh, Hai” dialogue in my house. Mostly along the lines of “Helen said ‘Oh Hai, Chloe!’ and Chloe said ‘O Hai, Helen!'”.

    @wannadance: Yes, that’s it exactly. Mine are SO patient with us, along the lines of “She’s completely nuts, of course, but she means well and she does feed us…”

    I shudder to think of my house being secretly bugged…..

  125. wee_squirrel says:

    Whatever, dude, whatever! What if the kitty forgot it was a kitty? Huh?

    Of course at this point, my cat probably thinks it’s a bird. She doesn’t respond to her real name, just “Pretty bird,” “little bird,” and “little one.” Oh, and “cat.”

  126. Kristabelle says:

    We frequently call our Sunny, Sunbird or Baby Bird… of course, we call the actual bird Lilahbird and Baby Bird (and Lilah calls herself Baby Bird, Pretty Bird and Pretty Lilah…but of course, in that instance, she is, in fact, a bird.) Commas much?

  127. hrh.squeak says:

    Ah, a man after my own puddiny heart. Tapioca it is! (sprinkle nutmeg) (fling)

  128. @anner: I meow random songs at my cats. Sometimes I will meow them very loud and as if it’s an opera.

    The look on my bengal’s face is priceless. It’s as if he can’t believe what a lunatic he lives with. My calico acts as if nothing is strange and my tabby starts purring.

  129. Laura — as an opera singer, i can say for sure that my cat would hate that. when i practice she wanders around the house meowing sadly to herself, and sometimes to my husband (“can’t YOU do anything?”). she often meows when i’m pausing between phrases, and it kind of throws me off since it’s seldom on a pitch that’s in tune with what i’m singing!

  130. hrh.squeak says:

    Anner: You’re an opera singer?! I work for SF Opera as a makeup artist! And Festival Opera, and Lamplighters. Where do you sing???

  131. hrh.squeak says:

    ps Are you a soprano? And is Kitty a mezzo? (heeheehee)

  132. Anner: I am so glad that you can’t hear my singing!!!!

    My bengal does enjoy another song I sing, to the tune of “fish heads”: Babies, babies, roly poly babies. Babies, babies eat them up. Yum. (not in opera)

  133. hrh – holy crap! you must get to touch some amazing faces! have you met placido? how awesome! omg makeup is my favorite part of theater. i’m usually in the chorus or some small production, so have to do my own, which i love but since i have no training, it’s usually more drag-queen than real theater makeup.

    my only company gigs are choruses: Connecticut Opera and Yale Opera. my main focus is experimental music, but i keep up the classical training and do recitals from time to time because it’s so healthy and challenging and i love it. the coolest thing i have going right now is that currently writing a role for me in an experimental opera about clara schumann, in which i’ll be a sort of narrator figure called “Logic”. so, that was a long answer to your question…

    oh, and petra and i are both sopranos, but i’m a lyric coloratura, and she’s more of a spinto 😉

    hey, have you ever heard the rossini cat duet? that’s worth you-tubing.

    laura — whatever you do in the privacy of your own home cannot be worse than the dancing i occasionally do in public.

  134. heh. i meant to say “a composer” is currently writing that opera

  135. alright as long as we’re all confessing…I am constantly explaining to My 13 year old cats (brother and sister that I saw being born! Bleen!) that I still call my kittens…that they are indeed kitties and cute and furry and then all talk is lost as i nom their bellies. It is a great joy i tell you! They tolerate me *sigh* I also explain/exclaim to puppies and dogs on the street “You’re a puppy! you’re a little puppy awww…you’re a good little puppy.
    I sent this cartoon to all my cat people some time ago and alas I am glad to see I am in good (crazy) company here. Yay! But mostly I lurk and laugh at all of your awesome comments without commenting myself. Oh and i sing Oh my kitty, oh my kitty, oh my furry kitty cat- to the tune of “Oh my Darling”
    *trys to sneak away quietly after my confession*

  136. berthaservant says:

    Wow. Anner sings opera. Cool. And HRH works at SF Opera — I know a lot of the stagehands there! Yay us! (well, you, I have nothing to do with opera except as an occasional patron….)

  137. berthaservant — patrons have everything to do with opera, especially now that the economy is causing companies to cancel their seasons and/or close for good. so, yay you!

  138. I’m an occasional patron of opera *cake* — is that close enough?
    (mmmm, pastry)

  139. a. aurita says:

    I’ve had that as my desktop bg ever since I found it (so for over a year)

  140. teho — in my book, anything involving pastry is always close enough to anything else.

  141. hrh.squeak says:

    Teho – Pastry is the best part of opera. Well, it’s not really part of opera, but it’s one of the best parts of *anything*.

    Anner – Yes, I have gotten to touch some amazing faces. I have done makeup on Jerry Hadley (peace be on him) and Thomas Hampson, and I always do Nathan Gunn’s makeup when he comes to SF (my life is sooo hard!)

    Berthaservant – Anner is right, patrons have Everything to do with opera. I mean, why are we doing this if not for the audience???

    The stagehands at SF are cool guys. Most of the other 16 stagehands refer to makeup artists as “puff jockeys”, and we refer to this type of stagehand as “deck apes”.

  142. hrh.squeak says:

    Anner – Oh, and I have met Placido, he’s wonderful and a true gentleman.

  143. Kristabelle says:

    Wow. If I didn’t know it before, I certainly do now…CO commenters are some REALLY cool people!

  144. hrh — he’s my favorite of that generation of tenors. such an multi-faceted, earthy, heart-wrenching sound! yes, pavarotti had a beautiful voice, but it didn’t have depth and character, and the only emotion he seemed to portray was “i have such a beautiful voice!”

  145. oh and just to bring this conversation back to cats…

  146. ysubassoon says:

    No need to fear your confession here, Lise. We’re all here because we love animals, and our animals tolerate our unconventional approaches to their care because they hear the love in our voices along with the lunacy. That makes it all okay.

  147. hrh.squeak says:

    Anner – I love the Cat Duet. Check out the Monserrat Caballe YouTube version!! (Oh, and Pavarotti was Not a Nice Person At All.)

  148. hrh.squeak says:

    By the way, rats like being sung to in the car, on the way to the V-E-T. Seems to calm them down.

  149. kristabell — it’s all because of meg’s fantastic wit!

    hrh — ok, i just put together that we have ratties AND opera in common. soprano, you know…all that air in my head.

    i’ve heard some pretty icky stories about pavarotti.

    i see teddy tahu rhodes has been at SFO. i heard him in Peter Grimes at the Met last season. we have the same last name, so i like to imagine we’re distant cousins. the kind that can sing duets together and then make out.

  150. hrh.squeak says:

    anner –

    No, no, no, that’s TENORS.

    Whatever you heard about FatBoy – it’s probably true.

    Teddy Tahu Rhodes – good taste, girl! Yum.

  151. Aw, this is my fav xkcd…so true. When I was little I´d even read books outloud to my cats, that´s how much time I spent talking to them.

    Who´s a cute kitty?
    You are! You are!