A Justifiably Obscure Christmas Jingle

Who’s that flappin’ down the chimney?  Who’s that tappin’ at the tree?
It’s the elf with the bill, and he won’t stop until every boy and girl is giddy with glee.

Every Christmas time he’s at it again, a sack full of toys and an IQ of ten,
You might get meat or you might get a doll, ’cause he’s got no clue who you are at all.

So open those presents and try your luck; it could be wood or it could be a truck,
Will Christmas be merry or will it suck?  You never can tell with Santa Duck!

Enjoy that chemistry set and/or pantyhose, kids!

Have a possibly Merry Christmas, Karen K.

Comments

  1. OMG, Erica! I honestly had no idea! Well, I guess I owe somebody royalties now…

  2. (opens present with glee)
    gee Thanks Santa Duck! A pile of feathers and some bread crumbs! Just what I’ve always wanted!

  3. Actually this duck looks very much like Billie (yeah I know not very original) a pet duck I had as a kid.
    She went on to become teh mother, grandmother, etc…to a LOT of white and mixed ducks at our local park. And to think she started out as a little ball of yellow floof floating in my grandparent’s bathtub.

  4. totalee puppy says:

    I knew it was you, NTMTOM!
    This is the best one you’ve written…well, since the last one. This looks like another taxidermy duck, but way
    qte!

  5. totalee puppy says:

    A song for our ladies to sing:
    “Santa Ducky, I’ve left instructions under the tree…
    You see…no guesswork, no surprises for me…
    no siree…So waddle to my chimney tonight…
    Ducky Darling, I realize that you cannot read…no need…I’ve cut the pictures from the magazines…Just hurry to
    Neiman Marcus–oh, and pick up designer jeans!
    Throw the gift bags down the chimney tonight!

    I’ve been good when times are tough…
    Think of all the puppies that I haven’t huffed…
    I believe in Cute Overload…
    I only drink tequila when I’m not on the road…so…

    Santa Ducky, I’ve left a sack of corn fritter feed…bon appetit…
    It’s waiting by the fireplace tonight…
    I’m feeling lucky…I’ll get the bling and gift cards I need… (WHAT greed??)
    Calendars from Cute Overload…oh, thirty- three!
    And flap right down the chimney to me!”

  6. @Totalee Puppy: WELL PLAYED!!

  7. berthaservant says:

    Breeliant NTMTOM!!! Simply breeliant!!!

    I hope that’s NOT a taxidermy duck…remember the commentroversy from the last time we saw a stuffed duck….???

    (Brady Bunch wiggly flashback music)

    http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/11/wtf.html

  8. Transpogue says:

    Yeah, the hovertext did me in.

    Nice one…I needed a good laugh. :D

  9. * hums The Holly & the Ivy *

    That is Christmas card pretty. Whatta duck!

  10. Oh yay! Last year Santa Duck gave me a sponge, windshield wipers, and a can of sterno.

  11. Soooo! This is where my ex husband got Xmas present advice! Makes sense now!

  12. Soft! Must… pet…

  13. Do I trust to luck
    That the Christmas Duck
    Presents won’t suck?

  14. I usually don’t care for birds, but MY GOODNESS!!! is that a cute little honker!

  15. Gail (the first one) says:

    @Totalee: GREAT song!!!! “..think of all the puppies that I haven’t huffed”….BWAHAHAHAH!!!!!

    This ducky can just bring him/herself to my house….that’s all the present I need!!

  16. AWESOME. Oh my gosh. Rampant poetic genius strikes once again.

  17. duck the halls!

  18. LMAO!
    Yay, Santa Duckie!
    Come on Peeps, more of what he left you. I got jumper cables and Viagra.

  19. duck the halls!

  20. momof2kitties says:

    I got a can of creamed corn, some toothpaste and a scratch-off lottery ticket (not a winner). Oh, I wonder what he’ll bring me this year!

  21. What would Mr Flapper say??

  22. AFLAC

  23. Is he related to Goosio?

    http://mst3k.wikia.com/wiki/Goosio

  24. ….a bottle of store-brand 2-in-1 shampoo, a four-pack of cellulose sponges, a spatula, and a partridge in a pear tree….

  25. bookmonstercats says:

    Poetical Christmas renditions are FAB.

  26. OMG my head just exploded. I love that fat little chunk of a puppeh!!!

  27. Nancys'addiction says:

    Christmas is coming,
    The geese are getting fat,
    Please put some friskies
    In the old man’s cat.
    If you haven’t got some friskies
    Some meowmix will do,
    If you haven’t got meowmix
    Winston will eat you!

  28. ThreeCatNight says:

    Well, it pays better than AFLAC! Happy Holidays!

  29. He left me a splat on my rug. Thank you, Santa Duck!

  30. Kristabelle says:

    Love the holiday songs, peeps! Keep ‘em coming!!

  31. Standing OVATION. Holy f***.

    >;)

  32. Hey BerthaServant — I’m 100% with you on the Other Mike cover band idea. I have guitars, a bass, and a little gear, including PCs with my sequencing & audio-editing software…

    We can call ourselves The NomTom Club. HOOah HOOah knee key chi!

  33. I can never top Nancy’s addiction, but here goes:

    Up on the housetop rein-hens cluck;
    Out jumps dear old Christmas Duck,
    Down through the chimney like Santa Claus,
    Smell the singed feathers and orange sauce?
    Quack, quack, quack,
    He opens his sack,
    Quack, quack, quack,
    His gifts are whack, but
    Up on the housetop, duck, duck, goose,
    Down through the chimney like it was a sluice.

  34. I love Santa Duck! He’s both random and surreal. I like to call him Santa Da Da Duck. I hope he doesn’t give me duck poop this Christmas.

    Last year he gave me a Vintage Barbie doll (not in the packageing) and a tin of baked beans. Not bad really.

  35. crystalrabbit7 says:

    I showed my dad the photo and he asked if it was the AFLAC duck =P What I’m wondering now is where I can get one of those little hats with strings for another pet…? Maybe I’ll just have to get a regular Santa hat and modify it myself.

    @T.U.M. I think you matched Nancy’s addition pretty well =D

  36. AuntieMame says:

    I got a rock…

  37. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    Singed feathers and orange sauce?! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Love it!

    Let’s see, last year I received some tangled Christmas lights – half off – and a bent artificial tree.

  38. AuntieMame says:

    I got a Japanese transistor radio.

    It’s a Nakashuma. The Mark IV model. That’s the one that’s discontinued.

    It comes in a Leatherette case with holes in it, so you can listen right through the case.

    And it has a wire with a thing on one end you can stick in your ear, and a thing on the other end that you can’t stick anywhere because it’s bent.

  39. AFLAC duck? he looks more like the ELFLAC duck.

  40. Deck the halls with ducks and holly
    Fa la la la la -la la la la
    Tis the time to quack real jolly
    Fa la la la la -la la la la
    Don we now our duck apparel
    Fa la la -la la la -lA la la
    Troll The ancient yule duck carole
    Fa la la la la -la la la la!!!!

  41. I got a wood burning pen and a Lawrence Welk Christmas cd. I immediately put both to good use.

  42. “Will Christmas be merry or will it suck? You never can tell with Santa Duck”!

    ROLF!!!!! This is an absolute classic :-)

  43. I didn’t just get socks, I got a subscription to the Socks of the Month Club.

  44. congrats karen on the post!

  45. *Laughin’ ma quack off*

    Ugh, someone didn’t say “taxidermy” did they?

  46. Vonvon — gift A liberally applied to gift B, I presume?

  47. Teho (if I may be so bold as to call you Teho), precisely.

  48. Wow and WOW!
    Best song EVER!
    That is hilarious & brilliant!

  49. Hello there, that’s my ducky, Loopy. Thanks for letting her be part of cute overload.

  50. Gail (the first one) says:

    @KarenK: ADORABLE!!! Thanks for posting the video link, too. You are a lucky Mommy!!!

  51. T.U.M., I disagree, yours was the best!

  52. totalee puppy says:

    T.U.M. Awesome song! I may never recover from laughing.
    Annie Lurve “Deck the halls with ducks and holly”!
    NTMTOM Thanks for a sleigh full of laughs! Hope Santa
    Duck will come back every
    year…

  53. totalee puppy says:

    Nancy’s addiction Fat geese and a well-stuffed
    cat–great combination! Cute images–needed this today.
    Happy Holidays!

  54. This is THE most christmasiest creature EVER.
    Layoff the reindeers.

    This Duck kicks fluffy duck-butt

  55. It sounds like you know that radio very well AuntieMame.

    “And it has a wire with a thing on one end you can stick in your ear, and a thing on the other end that you can’t stick anywhere because it’s bent.”
    LMAO

    vonvon wanna trade your wood burnng pen for a vintage barbie?

    Don’t forget to leave out some quackers.

  56. I got a hairnet and some cheese crackers. Thanks Santa Duck! Just what I wanted.

  57. Kimski, make it a vintage GI Joe and you’re on. So you got Lawrence Welk too? Quackers…tee hee!

  58. God, I’m hearing all that in Gilbert Gottfried’s voice….AAAAAFLAAAAAACK!

  59. Karen K. I just watched the video. Your bunneh sure showed that carrot! And I love that the bird starts tidying up, doing 360 degree turns of his/her head. So cute.

    vonvon, I can make here a Vintage GI Jane with a haircut and some fatigues… GI Joe doesn’t have anything that Barbie doesn’t have if you know what I mean. ; )

  60. Thanks Kimski! Check out the critter video outtakes too.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qZ1puzvd5E&fmt=18

    You can see Loopy’s true Christmas Spirit! She can wear the hat but she doesn’t have to like it.

  61. Santa Duck came! With a shower cap and a garden gnome. Yay!

  62. the bug man says:

    It’s Christmas evening, and what classic Christmas song has been playing in my head ALL DAY?

    Yes, that’s right, NTMTOM. I’m still giggling. Great job.

  63. A phoneless cord and a bonsai tree…! :-)

  64. Kimksi, you’re killing me here. Vintage GI Jane! Yeah, I know what you mean. Poor emasculated Joe; no wonder he’s angry.

    Sorry it’s taken so long to get back to CO. Can I just stay here always? Real life can be so overwhelming.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,911 other followers