Have You Been Good This Year?

"Hyup hyup, I been a good dog all year, sure have, hyup hyup!  I didn’t chase cars, or dig in the garden, or send Nigerian scam e-mails or nothin’!"

See, this is why we can't have nice things.

"And I especially didn’t tear open the Mark Cross titanium fountain pen set with the pearl inlay that was wrapped in the pretty red paper with the little cherubs on it and smear the ink all over the Persian rug, nope, didn’t do it, never saw it, nope nope."

Ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ght ...

I think we can forgo the lie detector test, Wendy F.

Comments

  1. uh-oh, I think it’s time CO has to think about what an influence it’s having with young dogs and the responsibilities it faces as a role model… ;)

  2. <3 :)

  3. “No, no, that color on my paws? See, it’s like this…. I was just chasing the blue toilet duck around the inside of the toilet. It was already clean. You gotta believe me. I’m addicted to ducks. I swear!”

  4. The doodle just wanted to doodle.

  5. Naughtiness + Big brown eys + Floofiness = Instant forgiveness!

  6. S/he’s lookin a bit blue.

  7. It’s a bum rap. I wasn’t there, I tell ya. I was in Cleveland. I was, um, at work. Yeah, I was at work. In Cleveland. Can we go walkies now?

  8. I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it. I was dead at the time. I was on the moon………….with Steve.

  9. I was dead at the time!

  10. Alice Shortcake says:

    Dogs HAVE to rely on the “innocent expression” tactic because they can’t whistle nonchalantly.

  11. My own floofy dog once destroyed a Pilot pen in my living room. The carpet was irreparably marked with a big black splotch; my dog was probably stained as well, but she has black fur, so she totally hid the evidence!

  12. Those labradoodles are little hellions.

  13. Uh oh! Caught blue pawed.

  14. Binky-mama has the correct algebraic equation.

  15. the dog looks a “little” bit remorseful, but not so much..

  16. Gail (the first one) says:

    “Detectives investigating the daring daylight robbery of the Purina Bank and Trust have said that a bank teller was able to slip an exploding ink pack into the bag as the Milkbones were being loaded.”

    “Local groomers have been asked to be on the lookout for a white dog with blue ink on it’s paws.”

  17. pen = pwned!!11!

  18. MUPPET DAWG! Sorry, just had to get that out, because OMG, that puppy is MADE of qte! Aiiggh, dear Heaven I could probably forgive that puppy *anything*…

  19. As someone owned by a Westie once explained to me: “He doesn’t know he’s white.”

  20. Eess ok Labradoodle schmoodle…you can come hide out with Auntie Wombats until the heat’s off.

  21. PS: Nose beep!

  22. totalee puppy says:

    Blue Christmas.

  23. Erebella thanks for the Izzard smile before bed. I needed that!!

  24. I came home to a “bloody” beagle recently. I thought she’d killed the cat while I was out. Turns out, she’d had a party with a bottle of red craft paint. The floor in my den looked like a slaughter house. Beagles are bad.

  25. Eddie Izzard reference ftw!!!!

  26. totalee puppy says:

    Gail(the first one)-great
    crime story! ROFL

  27. vegas vickie says:

    did anyone else see the blue on his face? oh is he in trouble ( think toote on facts of life)

  28. MUPPY!

    or carpet dawg.

    caught red-handed (or blue-pawed, same diff).

  29. Think labradoodle needs a
    better alibi…
    “I was mindin’ my own business in the back yard…Rudy and Winston came by to make faces at me through the fence, as usual, but I was sang froid…you woulda been proud…next comes these big kids with spray cans…
    they got over the fence and sprayed old doodle with blue paws…no way to look nice for Labradoodle
    Looking Glass cotillion this Saturday (sniff)…next thing happens, a kid is breaking into our house, yelling
    “Markers rule! Pens drool!”
    And you think YOU had a bad day…”

  30. Have you matched the blue paw-prints yet? The jury’ll want solid evidence….

  31. My fam’s dog did this once when he was younger… with a pink highlighter. His snow-white paws were Barbie-colored for a while.
    This dog is very good at pulling off “nonchalant.” My dog was good at looking horribly guilty–hung head and sad eyes to boot.

  32. The cat did it, honest!

  33. temperance says:

    i’m such a sucker for those rule 32 puppies…

    http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/02/rule_32_if_your.html

  34. Gail (the first one) says:

    @HonG: Goes without saying!

    @Shirley: GREAT story! Bloody beagle, indeed!!!!

    Speaking of ‘dogs having fun’, did I tell you Peeps that awhile back Nicky the dog ATE a $20 bill?

  35. Gail, did you get change?

    The wonderful departed Stinky cat once opened a tin of cocoa, dumped it all over the floor, and rolled around in it. Transforming himself from a black and white cat into a calico.

  36. momof2kitties says:

    Theresa: Was he a calicocoa?

    George has been caught with pine needles in his fur. “What, me? Near the tree? Why, no! Whyever do you ask???”

  37. Gail (the first one) says:

    @Theresa: No, I didn’t wait for the “ATM” to dispense any change!

    @momof2: Calicocoa!! Good one!!

    I can’t imagine why Stinky would’ve been interested in opening a can of cocoa! The black n’white kittehs are the most mischievious, I think……

  38. Gail, Stinky was crazy about the chocolate smell. It affected him like catnip. It was tough, because chocolate isn’t good for kitties, and the smell would turn him into a relentless chocolate zombie, and he couldn’t have any. Other smells affected him like that too– mint, all kinds of herbs. Carrots and broccoli. Chipotle. He once got so hynotized by a bowl of mushroom barley soup, he almost faceplanted in it.

  39. What a pleasure to find forgo (in this sense) spelled as forgo, not forego. Ah, the English language survives here. Glory be!

  40. Oh, I have so been there. I never thought I would find myself on the Bic phone helpline at midnight, desperate to find out if my rare Blue-Tongued, Blue-Pawed Beagle was in any danger from their ink.

    And then there was the night we had to call Kingsford to find out how many of their briquets our rare Hibachi-Impersonating Beagle could safely ingest…

  41. dat puppeh looks innocent to me! i tink hims paws are just COLD and dat’s y they bloo! hims needs mittens QUICK!!!

  42. Kristabelle says:

    Somebody’s going to be in TROUBLE! (right here in River City… with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Permanent Ink Pen.) ;o)
    Hairspray removes ink stains, as does rubbing alcohol.

  43. Theresa-

    I’ve been known to faceplant into mushroom barley soup, too :)

  44. This reminds me of a dog picture I saw (probably on here or I Has a Hot Dog) of a bichon who ate red lip gloss and got it ALL over the white carpet.

    Silly goggies.

  45. Felt Inspired, it’s a good day for it today. I miss my little back-and-white goofball whenever I eat one of those things.

  46. berthservant says:

    It is in times like these I remember the late Johnny Cochran:

    “If the paws are blue,
    You must baroo.”

  47. Actually, I miss the little hooligan every day.

  48. Mary (the first) says:

    CJ ,yes it was here and the first one I thought of too. White doglet, pink stuff all over, tell-tale pink lipsticky thing nearby. “Who, me??” look on dog’s face.
    This is causing me once again to whimper to no one in particular, “I want a dog!” snf.

  49. [slaps BerthaServant]

  50. And just because all the cuteness has been said …

    You can use hairspray on the rug to try to remove the ink.

    The dog, however, will be having BLUE CHRISTMAS!

  51. aka.emilicious says:

    He wanted to play blue’s clues!

  52. Yay, finally a real standard poodle (none of that doodle nonsense). And anyone who has had a standard poodle knows that they are smart enough to lie, cheat, and steal. This one was just unable to destroy the evidence of aforesaid lying, cheating, and stealing. Awww.

  53. DIDN’T DO IT!! NO ONE SAW ME DO IT!!! YA CAN’T PROVE A THING!!!

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