Your Jedi Mind Tricks Will Not Work On Me…

"However, maybe a nice piece of tuna, that would work on me.  And some egg salad.  And one of those big knackwursts, with the sauerkraut.  And a pastrami sandwich on rye, lean, hold the mustard, with a pickle and a side of onion rings, and a chocolate milk shake.  And see if my friend here wants anything."

This looks 'shopped.  I can tell from the pixels ...

Has your cat met our heroic space chipmunk, Natalie D.?

89 comments … read them below or add one

  1. Theo says:

    That’s no kitty. That’s a SPACE STATION.

  2. Wowie. My cat Harpo (1984-1992) was big, but not THIS big….get thee to a treadmill, stat!

    Oh, and, the b word.

  3. CURSE YOU THEO!!!!!

  4. Not the same kitty but looks simular if you squint:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peLD2vlxRM0

  5. Theo, you changed your post. THEO CHANGED HIS POST!!! IT WASN’T AS FUNNY A MINUTE AGO!!!

  6. Rumi says:

    That is a feline marshmallow, that is.

  7. Theo says:

    Ehhhh… I had to go back and edit.
    Word to the wise: Check hovertext BEFORE commenting.

  8. Nicolletta says:

    That’s a full acre of kitty!

  9. foxy says:

    Um, I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but I don’t think this is real. I’m pretty cure Carrie Fisher is a little older that this photo might suggest.

  10. cath says:

    b-serve, pull yourself together!!

  11. foxy says:

    ‘than’ it should read than, not that *sigh* i need more sleep. or less. i can’t decide.

  12. foxy says:

    And I couldn’t figure out what happened to Theo’s post, and then I realized that he has editing capabilities. He has that monkey.

  13. Theo says:

    Why yes, yes I do. Say hello to the peeps, Editor Monkey.

    [EEP OOK! - Ed.]

  14. pyrit says:

    “Help me, All U Can Eat Buffet, you’re my only hope.”

  15. lol pyrit!

  16. eikoleigh says:

    LOL!!!

  17. Jezebel says:

    I’d like to see that cat wearing Leia’s space whore outfit!

  18. 260Oakley says:

    This guy looks like a big, white cookie. Must be a catameringue.

  19. Theo says:

    Heeheehee

  20. LOL @ Pyrit!!! X-D

  21. Oliver says:

    lol, Jaba the Hut as an oversize cat? Never thought about that…

  22. TW says:

    “Oh, and after my dinner, bring me Solo and the wookie.”

  23. pyrit says:

    NTMTOM – we meet at last, the circle is now complete…

  24. Eastie says:

    No way is this ‘shopped. Totally real.

    A chocolate milkshake sounds really good right about now.

  25. Theo says:

    [sends TW an .MP3 of a washboard solo, and a cookie]

  26. brinnann says:

    “…Solo and a cookie.”

    [...and a jinx. - Ed.]

  27. brinnann says:

    Dang, Teho beat me, and his is much funnier.

  28. brinnann says:

    Ed. is faster than me as well, it seems.

  29. Theo says:

    It’s the hyperdrive, y’know. I poured a mocha in it.

  30. April says:

    and this is why I have a *small* crush on NTMTOM…
    Shh, don’t tell him…

  31. Paunchie says:

    I think he’s a womprat! They’re not much bigger than 2 meters…

    [Let me just turn off my targeting computer... yes, I know, Artoo... - Ed.]

  32. brinnann says:

    And here I was just using tea. That must’ve been where I went wrong.

  33. mberkie0 says:

    Could this be Jabba the Cat?

    Pixels? Is that like Tinkerbell in “Peter Pan?” We believe in pixels!

    Not sure if we believe in Jabba the Cat, tho’.

  34. Paunchie says:

    You better believe in Jabba the Cat or he will come and SIT on ya.

  35. Von Zeppelin says:

    Been a long time since I saw the movie, but somehow I remembered Princess Leia’s. . . erm. . . pixels being a lot bigger. Also, does Jabba the Catt have that long hideous slobbery tongue? I’m sure he eats little froggy things.

  36. BabyOpossum says:

    “In today’s action on Centre Court at Wimbledon, a blancmange devoured Carrie Fisher in straight sets.”

    [Oh come now, that's just silly. - Ed.]

  37. Maribeth says:

    Photoshopped? Pshaw!

  38. Birdcage says:

    As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the fire power of this fully armed and operational CATtle station!

  39. Annie says:

    Brinn you obviously need some of that Coffee Ed. is drinking cause he is editing faster than a speeding Millenium Falcon!

  40. Theo says:

    I’ve switched to Pirate Coffee, Annie.

  41. Eastie says:

    Off topic: Is it bad that I was just reading about someone’s “Globe nom” and I immediately picture them trying to eat the Golden Globe award? /off topic

  42. Theo says:
  43. Michelle S says:

    *straps on skis and catches the chairlift to the top*

  44. Eastie says:

    Theo – Hahaha…Fantastic! Glad I’m not alone.

  45. Paunchie says:

    Pyrit coffee?

  46. Paunchie says:

    teho are you harming that po’ marmie kitteh in the corner, or does he always look like that?!

    [That's Mister "I'm Photoshopped" Bounce; more explanations here... http://teho.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2252668128e1d00e398a638750004.html - Ed.]

  47. fish eye no miko says:

    Theo said: “I’ve switched to Pirate Coffee, Annie.”

    Is it made of ARRR-abica beans?

  48. Theo says:

    Kona, actually.

    Oh, and wouldn’t “Pyrit Coffee” be tea?

  49. pyrit says:

    (from under the table) Arr, when oy ‘ad me brush wiv the East India Trading Co., eet was tea, all tea, all day! Tea! Tea! Tea!
    But oy showed dem, din’t oy?
    (‘urp.)

  50. Rapunzel210 says:

    True love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT: a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.

  51. Theo says:

    Nobody’s hearing NOTHING.

  52. Theresa says:

    BabyOpossum, noticed any extra Scotsmen around lately?

  53. Theresa says:

    Eastie, there is definitely video out there of Stephen Colbert making out with his
    Emmy award. I cringe to think of what he’d do with a Golden Globe. Or two . . .

  54. Theo says:

    Heh, have him stick a kitten between ‘em and we’ll post it.

  55. Theresa says:

    “You had for breakfast: two pounds bacon,
    Three dozen eggs, one coffee cake, and
    Then you had something really awful,
    Four kippered herrings on a waffle.
    Nine English muffins, one baked apple,
    Boston cream pie, Philadelphia scrapple.
    Seventeen bowls of Crispy Crunch.
    Then you said, ‘What’s for lunch?’”

  56. mandi says:

    I think this should also be tagged “cute or sad?” or perhaps “gee-ross!”

  57. Ananda says:

    I think this falls under cute or sad. Cats who get this fat often get diabetes and organ failure. I don’t this is very funny. Sorry, i’m a party pooper.

  58. Boomer's Babysitter says:

    I didn’t think the picture was all that great, I mean, I’ve seen more amusing on this site before… but the comments have me in stitches!! Catameringue! Leia’s pixels! Pirates and Coffee!! OMG I gotta go check the laundry. Must breathe… ha ha ha ha ha (gasp) ha ha ha ha ha!

  59. Fat Tabby says:

    Baby got back, front AND sides!

    [Palm Beach County style from the BOT-tum. *UHHH!* - Ed.]

  60. NotAnotherMilo says:

    I caall my kitteh “Milo the Hutt.” Yes, chubby kitties are both cute and sad. What is even more sad is the look on his face when he gets his new carefully portioned diet food….

  61. Decca says:

    It’s Mr. Creosote’s cat!

  62. Lerrinus says:

    OMG these comment are killin’ me! LOL! This is why I love CO! XD

  63. Dave T says:

    This is not Photoshop. This is the original live footage before the slimy alien Jabba was CGI-ed in.

  64. PACAT says:

    this kitta should be called the crisco kit.looks like he is getting ready for a bite of lunch

  65. Gail (the first one) says:

    @BabyOpossum: Great Monty Python ref!!!

  66. anner says:

    typ too diabetus LOL

  67. chanpon says:

    I think I saw a mini-Princess Leia running around in my kitchen the other day. Darn vermin.

  68. Midgard says:
  69. Dexter Fishmore says:

    Ganta Solo chone Wuki!

  70. Hon Glad says:

    Jabba the gut.

  71. John E says:

    Ahh, life is good. I have the Princess at my side, dancing slave girls, a most righteous band in the house, Salacious Crumb grooming my tail, Han Solo frozen in carbonite, and my pet rancor is alive and well and about to eat dinner.
    GAHH!! What the?!?! NO, NOT THE RANCOR!!!

  72. Joy says:

    this isn’t really all that funny. That cat is seriously impaired. It’s sad.

  73. Eize says:

    More like “bring me Solo and a COOKIE.”

  74. Theresa says:

    @Midgard, “toony fish” snerk!

  75. pups'nstuff says:

    Saddest fat cat ever. Why do people let this happen to their pets… disgraceful.

  76. ThreeCatNight says:

    Next time on TLC’s
    “My Amazing Story: One Cat’s Caloric Journey to Power, or, How I Became the Master of My Domain on Eight Cans of Food Per Day”

  77. kar says:

    Hey, ease up on the fat cat. It’s hard especially if you have multiple cats to monitor everyone’s diet. Especially if you work odd hours and can’t do the “put the food down for 20 min” dance.

    I had one who was 19 lbs while the other was 7 lbs and both ate the calorie restricted diet. I eventually resorted to feeding the skinny one on the side but one was still thin & finicky and the other ate like Augustus Gloop.

  78. David says:

    That George Lucas (“pray I don’t alter this movie any further”), he won’t be satisfied until everyone in the galaxy buys at least one version of Star Wars. Now he’s targeting the CO demographic. It’s a trap! [in Admiral Ackbar voice]

  79. Capt' Tightpants says:

    Coffee.

    all.

    over.

    computer.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA!

  80. Noelle says:

    I love the people on this site. The minute I saw the picture I knew the comments would be funny. Ya’ll do not disappoint!

    *runs around hugging everyone and laughing*

  81. cdubs says:

    Just so you know, we have a cat this fat. She is perfectly healthy says the vet year after year and shares a small bowl of food a day with her much thinner, active sister. I think the fat cat is freaking adorable and squeeze her chubs whenever I can and she seems to be OK in general. So if you want to nuff at a fat-cat-owner, please go ahead but I think you’re nuts to judge before you know of what you bitch.

  82. Pooh says:

    I’m still with the person who said the cat is too fat! I mean, Dang! The Dude can’t even bend over to groom his own butt! What’s the point of being a cat if you cant lick your own butt!

  83. David says:

    Oh yeah, check out 10 reasons why Empire Strikes Back is better: http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/empirestrikesback/

  84. pups'nstuff says:

    NOT nuffing. It’s EFFING SAD.

  85. Paunchie says:

    cdubs said the b word! oooooh

    LOL @pooh!

  86. gravyboat says:

    Now that’s good funny!

  87. totalee puppy says:

    Awesome!

  88. Katrina says:

    Midgard- nice one!

    I’ve never had a cat this porky, but I’m gonna guess that s/he is a great pet! Think of the snorgelling possibilities! Think of the resonance in the purring department. Want a warm bed? Ask this puddy-tatt!

  89. Alex says:

    That cat looks damn-near EXACTLY like MINE!! My cat is juuuuust as ginormous as dis one, an’ she’s proud of it!