Your Jedi Mind Tricks Will Not Work On Me…

by Not That Mike The Other Mike on December 11, 2008

"However, maybe a nice piece of tuna, that would work on me.  And some egg salad.  And one of those big knackwursts, with the sauerkraut.  And a pastrami sandwich on rye, lean, hold the mustard, with a pickle and a side of onion rings, and a chocolate milk shake.  And see if my friend here wants anything."

This looks 'shopped.  I can tell from the pixels ...

Has your cat met our heroic space chipmunk, Natalie D.?

{ 89 comments }

1 Theo 12.11.08 at 7:13 pm

That’s no kitty. That’s a SPACE STATION.

2 berthaservant 12.11.08 at 7:16 pm

Wowie. My cat Harpo (1984-1992) was big, but not THIS big….get thee to a treadmill, stat!

Oh, and, the b word.

3 berthaservant 12.11.08 at 7:16 pm

CURSE YOU THEO!!!!!

4 berthaservant 12.11.08 at 7:17 pm

Not the same kitty but looks simular if you squint:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peLD2vlxRM0

5 berthaservant 12.11.08 at 7:17 pm

Theo, you changed your post. THEO CHANGED HIS POST!!! IT WASN’T AS FUNNY A MINUTE AGO!!!

6 Rumi 12.11.08 at 7:18 pm

That is a feline marshmallow, that is.

7 Theo 12.11.08 at 7:18 pm

Ehhhh… I had to go back and edit.
Word to the wise: Check hovertext BEFORE commenting.

8 Nicolletta 12.11.08 at 7:19 pm

That’s a full acre of kitty!

9 foxy 12.11.08 at 7:19 pm

Um, I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but I don’t think this is real. I’m pretty cure Carrie Fisher is a little older that this photo might suggest.

10 cath 12.11.08 at 7:21 pm

b-serve, pull yourself together!!

11 foxy 12.11.08 at 7:21 pm

‘than’ it should read than, not that *sigh* i need more sleep. or less. i can’t decide.

12 foxy 12.11.08 at 7:23 pm

And I couldn’t figure out what happened to Theo’s post, and then I realized that he has editing capabilities. He has that monkey.

13 Theo 12.11.08 at 7:25 pm

Why yes, yes I do. Say hello to the peeps, Editor Monkey.

[EEP OOK! - Ed.]

14 pyrit 12.11.08 at 7:27 pm

“Help me, All U Can Eat Buffet, you’re my only hope.”

15 berthaservant 12.11.08 at 7:30 pm

lol pyrit!

16 eikoleigh 12.11.08 at 7:31 pm

LOL!!!

17 Jezebel 12.11.08 at 7:31 pm

I’d like to see that cat wearing Leia’s space whore outfit!

18 260Oakley 12.11.08 at 7:31 pm

This guy looks like a big, white cookie. Must be a catameringue.

19 Theo 12.11.08 at 7:32 pm

Heeheehee

20 Not That Mike The Other Mike 12.11.08 at 7:33 pm

LOL @ Pyrit!!! X-D

21 Oliver 12.11.08 at 7:35 pm

lol, Jaba the Hut as an oversize cat? Never thought about that…

22 TW 12.11.08 at 7:35 pm

“Oh, and after my dinner, bring me Solo and the wookie.”

23 pyrit 12.11.08 at 7:43 pm

NTMTOM – we meet at last, the circle is now complete…

24 Eastie 12.11.08 at 7:43 pm

No way is this ’shopped. Totally real.

A chocolate milkshake sounds really good right about now.

25 Theo 12.11.08 at 7:49 pm

[sends TW an .MP3 of a washboard solo, and a cookie]

26 brinnann 12.11.08 at 7:51 pm

“…Solo and a cookie.”

[...and a jinx. - Ed.]

27 brinnann 12.11.08 at 7:52 pm

Dang, Teho beat me, and his is much funnier.

28 brinnann 12.11.08 at 7:52 pm

Ed. is faster than me as well, it seems.

29 Theo 12.11.08 at 7:53 pm

It’s the hyperdrive, y’know. I poured a mocha in it.

30 April 12.11.08 at 8:00 pm

and this is why I have a *small* crush on NTMTOM…
Shh, don’t tell him…

31 Paunchie 12.11.08 at 8:04 pm

I think he’s a womprat! They’re not much bigger than 2 meters…

[Let me just turn off my targeting computer... yes, I know, Artoo... - Ed.]

32 brinnann 12.11.08 at 8:06 pm

And here I was just using tea. That must’ve been where I went wrong.

33 mberkie0 12.11.08 at 8:07 pm

Could this be Jabba the Cat?

Pixels? Is that like Tinkerbell in “Peter Pan?” We believe in pixels!

Not sure if we believe in Jabba the Cat, tho’.

34 Paunchie 12.11.08 at 8:13 pm

You better believe in Jabba the Cat or he will come and SIT on ya.

35 Von Zeppelin 12.11.08 at 8:14 pm

Been a long time since I saw the movie, but somehow I remembered Princess Leia’s. . . erm. . . pixels being a lot bigger. Also, does Jabba the Catt have that long hideous slobbery tongue? I’m sure he eats little froggy things.

36 BabyOpossum 12.11.08 at 8:17 pm

“In today’s action on Centre Court at Wimbledon, a blancmange devoured Carrie Fisher in straight sets.”

[Oh come now, that's just silly. - Ed.]

37 Maribeth 12.11.08 at 8:35 pm

Photoshopped? Pshaw!

38 Birdcage 12.11.08 at 8:47 pm

As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the fire power of this fully armed and operational CATtle station!

39 Annie 12.11.08 at 8:48 pm

Brinn you obviously need some of that Coffee Ed. is drinking cause he is editing faster than a speeding Millenium Falcon!

40 Theo 12.11.08 at 8:50 pm

I’ve switched to Pirate Coffee, Annie.

41 Eastie 12.11.08 at 8:51 pm

Off topic: Is it bad that I was just reading about someone’s “Globe nom” and I immediately picture them trying to eat the Golden Globe award? /off topic

42 Theo 12.11.08 at 8:53 pm
43 Michelle S 12.11.08 at 8:57 pm

*straps on skis and catches the chairlift to the top*

44 Eastie 12.11.08 at 9:01 pm

Theo – Hahaha…Fantastic! Glad I’m not alone.

45 Paunchie 12.11.08 at 9:04 pm

Pyrit coffee?

46 Paunchie 12.11.08 at 9:06 pm

teho are you harming that po’ marmie kitteh in the corner, or does he always look like that?!

[That's Mister "I'm Photoshopped" Bounce; more explanations here... http://teho.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2252668128e1d00e398a638750004.html - Ed.]

47 fish eye no miko 12.11.08 at 9:09 pm

Theo said: “I’ve switched to Pirate Coffee, Annie.”

Is it made of ARRR-abica beans?

48 Theo 12.11.08 at 9:13 pm

Kona, actually.

Oh, and wouldn’t “Pyrit Coffee” be tea?

49 pyrit 12.11.08 at 9:41 pm

(from under the table) Arr, when oy ‘ad me brush wiv the East India Trading Co., eet was tea, all tea, all day! Tea! Tea! Tea!
But oy showed dem, din’t oy?
(‘urp.)

50 Rapunzel210 12.11.08 at 9:56 pm

True love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT: a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.

51 Theo 12.11.08 at 10:02 pm

Nobody’s hearing NOTHING.

52 Theresa 12.11.08 at 10:08 pm

BabyOpossum, noticed any extra Scotsmen around lately?

53 Theresa 12.11.08 at 10:10 pm

Eastie, there is definitely video out there of Stephen Colbert making out with his
Emmy award. I cringe to think of what he’d do with a Golden Globe. Or two . . .

54 Theo 12.11.08 at 10:14 pm

Heh, have him stick a kitten between ‘em and we’ll post it.

55 Theresa 12.11.08 at 10:21 pm

“You had for breakfast: two pounds bacon,
Three dozen eggs, one coffee cake, and
Then you had something really awful,
Four kippered herrings on a waffle.
Nine English muffins, one baked apple,
Boston cream pie, Philadelphia scrapple.
Seventeen bowls of Crispy Crunch.
Then you said, ‘What’s for lunch?’”

56 mandi 12.11.08 at 11:15 pm

I think this should also be tagged “cute or sad?” or perhaps “gee-ross!”

57 Ananda 12.11.08 at 11:33 pm

I think this falls under cute or sad. Cats who get this fat often get diabetes and organ failure. I don’t this is very funny. Sorry, i’m a party pooper.

58 Boomer's Babysitter 12.11.08 at 11:34 pm

I didn’t think the picture was all that great, I mean, I’ve seen more amusing on this site before… but the comments have me in stitches!! Catameringue! Leia’s pixels! Pirates and Coffee!! OMG I gotta go check the laundry. Must breathe… ha ha ha ha ha (gasp) ha ha ha ha ha!

59 Fat Tabby 12.11.08 at 11:37 pm

Baby got back, front AND sides!

[Palm Beach County style from the BOT-tum. *UHHH!* - Ed.]

60 NotAnotherMilo 12.11.08 at 11:42 pm

I caall my kitteh “Milo the Hutt.” Yes, chubby kitties are both cute and sad. What is even more sad is the look on his face when he gets his new carefully portioned diet food….

61 Decca 12.12.08 at 12:36 am

It’s Mr. Creosote’s cat!

62 Lerrinus 12.12.08 at 12:38 am

OMG these comment are killin’ me! LOL! This is why I love CO! XD

63 Dave T 12.12.08 at 12:44 am

This is not Photoshop. This is the original live footage before the slimy alien Jabba was CGI-ed in.

64 PACAT 12.12.08 at 1:00 am

this kitta should be called the crisco kit.looks like he is getting ready for a bite of lunch

65 Gail (the first one) 12.12.08 at 1:14 am

@BabyOpossum: Great Monty Python ref!!!

66 anner 12.12.08 at 2:53 am

typ too diabetus LOL

67 chanpon 12.12.08 at 3:22 am

I think I saw a mini-Princess Leia running around in my kitchen the other day. Darn vermin.

68 Midgard 12.12.08 at 3:45 am
69 Dexter Fishmore 12.12.08 at 5:38 am

Ganta Solo chone Wuki!

70 Hon Glad 12.12.08 at 7:06 am

Jabba the gut.

71 John E 12.12.08 at 7:46 am

Ahh, life is good. I have the Princess at my side, dancing slave girls, a most righteous band in the house, Salacious Crumb grooming my tail, Han Solo frozen in carbonite, and my pet rancor is alive and well and about to eat dinner.
GAHH!! What the?!?! NO, NOT THE RANCOR!!!

72 Joy 12.12.08 at 8:57 am

this isn’t really all that funny. That cat is seriously impaired. It’s sad.

73 Eize 12.12.08 at 10:16 am

More like “bring me Solo and a COOKIE.”

74 Theresa 12.12.08 at 1:30 pm

@Midgard, “toony fish” snerk!

75 pups'nstuff 12.12.08 at 2:23 pm

Saddest fat cat ever. Why do people let this happen to their pets… disgraceful.

76 ThreeCatNight 12.12.08 at 3:08 pm

Next time on TLC’s
“My Amazing Story: One Cat’s Caloric Journey to Power, or, How I Became the Master of My Domain on Eight Cans of Food Per Day”

77 kar 12.12.08 at 3:34 pm

Hey, ease up on the fat cat. It’s hard especially if you have multiple cats to monitor everyone’s diet. Especially if you work odd hours and can’t do the “put the food down for 20 min” dance.

I had one who was 19 lbs while the other was 7 lbs and both ate the calorie restricted diet. I eventually resorted to feeding the skinny one on the side but one was still thin & finicky and the other ate like Augustus Gloop.

78 David 12.12.08 at 4:31 pm

That George Lucas (“pray I don’t alter this movie any further”), he won’t be satisfied until everyone in the galaxy buys at least one version of Star Wars. Now he’s targeting the CO demographic. It’s a trap! [in Admiral Ackbar voice]

79 Capt' Tightpants 12.12.08 at 4:37 pm

Coffee.

all.

over.

computer.

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA!

80 Noelle 12.12.08 at 5:50 pm

I love the people on this site. The minute I saw the picture I knew the comments would be funny. Ya’ll do not disappoint!

*runs around hugging everyone and laughing*

81 cdubs 12.12.08 at 6:25 pm

Just so you know, we have a cat this fat. She is perfectly healthy says the vet year after year and shares a small bowl of food a day with her much thinner, active sister. I think the fat cat is freaking adorable and squeeze her chubs whenever I can and she seems to be OK in general. So if you want to nuff at a fat-cat-owner, please go ahead but I think you’re nuts to judge before you know of what you bitch.

82 Pooh 12.12.08 at 6:37 pm

I’m still with the person who said the cat is too fat! I mean, Dang! The Dude can’t even bend over to groom his own butt! What’s the point of being a cat if you cant lick your own butt!

83 David 12.12.08 at 8:17 pm

Oh yeah, check out 10 reasons why Empire Strikes Back is better: http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/empirestrikesback/

84 pups'nstuff 12.12.08 at 9:12 pm

NOT nuffing. It’s EFFING SAD.

85 Paunchie 12.12.08 at 9:13 pm

cdubs said the b word! oooooh

LOL @pooh!

86 gravyboat 12.12.08 at 9:30 pm

Now that’s good funny!

87 totalee puppy 12.13.08 at 2:26 am

Awesome!

88 Katrina 12.13.08 at 12:49 pm

Midgard- nice one!

I’ve never had a cat this porky, but I’m gonna guess that s/he is a great pet! Think of the snorgelling possibilities! Think of the resonance in the purring department. Want a warm bed? Ask this puddy-tatt!

89 Alex 12.20.08 at 9:51 pm

That cat looks damn-near EXACTLY like MINE!! My cat is juuuuust as ginormous as dis one, an’ she’s proud of it!

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