The Cute Overload Interview with Mr. Hewitt.

by Meg on December 10, 2008

Famous for the hard-hitting questions no one else has the fluffy nads to ask, it’s…THE CUTE OVERLOAD INTERVIEW!

CUTE OVERLOAD: Who… are you?
MR. HEWITT: The name is Mr. Hewitt. I’m a Pomeranian with an awesome haircut that makes me look like a mini bear.

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CUTE OVERLOAD: What’s your deal?
MR. HEWITT: Um, I was discovered in a dentist’s office in Los Angeles by a family relative of this blog.

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CUTE OVERLOAD: A dentist’s off—
MR. HEWITT: Yeah, I hang out here most of the day, making sure patients are sufficiently distracted during cleanings and teeth yankings. They can’t keep their eyes off me. People come in for 9 cleanings a year with me around. I’m good for business. [yawn]

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CUTE OVERLOAD: Do people ask oral hygiene advice from a Pomeranian?
MR. HEWITT: In a word; yes. We’re in L.A.! Talking dogs are tewtelly normal.

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CUTE OVERLOAD: You’re a unique pup. Tell us about your background.
MR. HEWITT: I came in second place in a dog show in the Philippines. I emigrated here when I was younger, and have been delighting Beverly HIlls dental patients ever since. I haven’t had any offspring, though my demeanor has made me so popular, everyone asks if I’d consider knocking up some beeyatch for a litter of pups.

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CUTE OVERLOAD: We’ve hear you say that you "give small dogs a good name". How is that?
MR. HEWITT: I don’t yip a bit, Baby. I’m as mellow as a frakking Cognac. [pants]

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CUTE OVERLOAD: Ever see any celebs at the office?
MR. HEWITT: Yes, and they ALL bring their small dogs in—annoying!

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CUTE OVERLOAD: What sort of female pup need not apply to Mr. Hewitt?
MR. HEWITT: I got this thing for dog legs. Don’t hold it against me!

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Nina B. and Mr. Hewitt, sittin’ in a tree…

{ 104 comments }

1 Theresa 12.10.08 at 3:22 pm

Now THAT is a pom-cut we can all get behind. Erm, um, whatever that means.

2 grammargestapo 12.10.08 at 3:25 pm

Immigrate here (from a place); Emigrate there (to a place). Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

3 sterling 12.10.08 at 3:26 pm

How redonkulously cute.
I neeeed one.
Now.
:D

4 Lu 12.10.08 at 3:32 pm

The perfect Pom! Unbelievably adorable. But the tailio looks a little rough and, er, scruffy (I shall say no more)–why the closeup?

5 Theresa 12.10.08 at 3:39 pm

That should be a card in the Chance pile in Monopoly: “You have won second place in a dog show.”

6 Maggie 12.10.08 at 3:41 pm

Pfft, all my dentist’s office has is stupid dumb TVs.

7 ThreeCatNight 12.10.08 at 3:41 pm

What is it about poms that makes me want to just grab them and kiss them nonstop?
I could get arrested for that! This boy is too delicious for words!

8 Hon Glad 12.10.08 at 3:46 pm

Lu: I agree, tailio is lacking in the floof department.

9 Katrina 12.10.08 at 3:49 pm

Mr. Hewitt- I am in love- this one goes to UCONN!

Meg, you have made the day of MEEELIONS!

10 Theresa 12.10.08 at 4:06 pm

RE: The hovertexts, especially “Smooove” and “Where’s the dipping sauce?”

Is someone looking to get freaky?

11 Kate 12.10.08 at 4:08 pm

I need a dentist. I live in LA. Please tell me where to find Mr. Hewitt!

12 Annie 12.10.08 at 4:09 pm

Mr Hewitt bear-ly escaped mutt-remonial just last week when a playpup at his mutt-shion stole a piece of this confirmed bachelors heart but left in a huff because he would not PUP the question.

13 Jenny 12.10.08 at 4:18 pm

“knocking up some beeyatch”???

YUK! Why so many “bitch” references on C.O.? Third one this week.

What’s next? Racial slurs??

14 Teya 12.10.08 at 4:27 pm

ok, normally not a small dog fan, but this little guy is too delicious!!! His little face just makes you smile ya know?? Need happy smiley pup in MY office!!!

15 Wendy 12.10.08 at 4:28 pm

Now THAT is a cute pommie!!

16 Gabster 12.10.08 at 4:39 pm

Um, Jenny? A female dog is a bitch. Calm down.

17 Beth 12.10.08 at 4:45 pm

I love it when we have dogs at the office. I wish they were here everyday.

18 anonnymous 12.10.08 at 4:45 pm

He is so adorable! Looks a lot like my little girl pom. I’d like to go to that dentist’s office – nothing keeps you more relaxed than a doggy.

19 ashagato 12.10.08 at 4:48 pm

i don’t know about the other bitch references, but in this case it’s actually correct, as well as hilariously inappropriate.
1. obviously, a bitch is a female dog.
2. to imagine that sweet happy little pup uttering the phrase “knocking up some beeyatch” is what makes it so frakkin funny!
meg and the gang’s touch of adult humor and language gives CO the edge that makes it CO. i love it!

20 ashagato 12.10.08 at 4:48 pm

i don’t know about the other bitch references, but in this case it’s actually correct, as well as hilariously inappropriate.
1. obviously, a bitch is a female dog.
2. to imagine that sweet happy little pup uttering the phrase “knocking up some beeyatch” is what makes it so frakkin funny!
meg and the gang’s touch of adult humor and language gives CO the edge that makes it CO. i love it!

21 tankgrrl 12.10.08 at 4:58 pm

EL FLUFFITO! ^_^

22 Shannon 12.10.08 at 5:01 pm

I have completely dreaded going to the dentist since I got my wisdom teeth pulled a few years ago. I mean I FREAK out for anything besides a cleaning. I remember laying there trembling while get a filling and all I wanted was my dog in my lap. That would have made me feel so much better. I think this would help as well.

23 Jimbeaux 12.10.08 at 5:02 pm

Cute? Yes. Picture 3? A-freakin-dorable! I keep looking at it and hearing him say, “Hey! I need pettin’s here!”
Don’t worry, little guy. Lots of pettin’s heading your way!

24 kettir 12.10.08 at 5:32 pm

What a doll baby! I wouldn’t mind if someone left THAT sweetie in my office!

25 Steph 12.10.08 at 5:49 pm

How great is it that Meg says “frak”! BSG January 16!!!

26 Jenny 12.10.08 at 5:54 pm

“Beeyatch” is different. It’s rapper bitch/ho talk and it is NOT cute.

It’s completely different from any word a dog breeder uses to refer to female dogs.

And I’m seeing that kind of talk every week now on this site.

27 Mary (the first) 12.10.08 at 5:57 pm

My former chiropractor has two chihuahuas in her office. Some lucky patients got “puppy therapy” (pup handed over the counter to hold while waiting.) I continued my 2 hour round trip to that chiro. much longer than I should have because I knew I would miss the pups. :( I think just about any office esp. one where they have “patients” .. could benefit from a cute pup or even kitteh or hammie to cuddle!

28 January 12.10.08 at 6:16 pm

So did you get an invitation to the party with Lion Cut?

29 Micki 12.10.08 at 6:24 pm

hey jenny?

could it be meg was *Making fun* of rapper/ho talk?

but it couldn’t be.

you know, cause she’s *so* serious all the time.

30 Theo 12.10.08 at 6:29 pm

Jenny — here’s something else that’s true: not everybody is part of Cute Overload’s target audience. Some people are surprised that we use PG-13 language, references, and satire. If it’s not for you, then it’s not. Simple.

Put another way, we’re more Looney Toons than Disney.

31 lee 12.10.08 at 6:30 pm

Me too! I’m in LA and need a dentist. I’d love to go to this one. Please tell us how to find Mr Hewitt!

32 Paunchie 12.10.08 at 6:37 pm

what’s wif his tailio?

33 Gabster 12.10.08 at 6:41 pm

Theo: I always liked Looney Toons better than Disney anyway!

34 cataddict 12.10.08 at 6:45 pm

Jenny – its their website. They can say whatever they want….

35 chanpon 12.10.08 at 6:47 pm

Oh man – my friends and relatives have all had cute, but way too yippy poms. This one though takes the cake – I NEED TO HUFF MR. HEWITT RIGHT NOW!

36 writtenwyrdd 12.10.08 at 6:47 pm

Oh, that’s totally a plushie toy, lol!

37 T.U.M. 12.10.08 at 6:50 pm

My dentist has a cow at his office. She has her own little barn and pen outside. She’s not as cuddly as Mr. Hewitt, but she’s pretty sweet.

38 Jezebel 12.10.08 at 6:50 pm

Wait–it’s NOT funny when a pom named Mr Hewitt says beeyatch in an interview? I thought that was funny. What’s wrong with me? Where am I? Johhny? Joaquin? I’m frightened!

39 mike d 12.10.08 at 7:13 pm

Caption time…

Pic #2: “Um…WHO said you could Scritch the Mane?”

Pic #3: “Dude, lemme show you my Howard Dean scream. Ready? Ok.YYYEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!! Like it?”

40 Just Passing Through 12.10.08 at 7:20 pm

I’m sorry but you had me at “fuzzy nads”. Love it!!

This post was a lot of work Meg and it is great. Thanks!

41 CJ 12.10.08 at 7:23 pm

Jezebel – well it’s clearly NOT funny. Okay? So strip down naked and crouch in a hot shower and cry. DO IT NOW!

42 Just Passing Through 12.10.08 at 7:23 pm

Wait that was “fluffy nads” not “fuzzy nads”

43 Katrina 12.10.08 at 7:27 pm

And, sometimes we’re “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” and sometimes “Rocky and Bullwinkle” and sometimes we’re “Betty Boop”!
And this one time, in Music Camp we were all “Justice Friends!”

44 Me 12.10.08 at 7:29 pm

Jenny, I am in full agreement with you. Aside from the specific use of the term “beeyatch” as opposed to “bitch”, the phrase “knocked up” perpetuates the violence/sex correlation which has become so prevalent lately and is a huge problem in our society. I, too, come here to relax and look at cute pictures (duh), but don’t appreciate the misogyny in this post. Yes, CO has the right to write whatever they like on their site, but we also have the right to say not only is that offensive, but it’s unnecessary. Aren’t cute pictures with funny text that DOESN’T promote violent depictions of interactions with women enough? Or is everyone here so desensitized that the irony of stating that misogyny is somehow clever, cute, or creative is now the norm? Note to readers: being critical of something you like is ok. It means you aren’t a sheep. Jenny has the right to feel exactly as she does, and to express it. It doesn’t mean that she or I doesn’t like the site, it means we respect it enough to hold it to standards of common decency.

45 skip 12.10.08 at 7:38 pm

I guess that dentist doesn’t have any patients with allergies.

46 Erin 12.10.08 at 7:46 pm

Can we retire the word ‘beeyatch’? It’s so overused that it’s just not clever anymore and this is otherwise such a funny blog.

47 Jezebel 12.10.08 at 8:01 pm

Beeeeyyyyyyaaaaattttcccchhh!

48 Dozer 12.10.08 at 8:11 pm

I want to see Winston vs. Mr Hewitt. Seriously, what a match.

Also, slurs seep into everyday language and at some point become regular expressions. Many words have done so before, many others will. Maybe even “beeyatch”. I lol’d, at least.

49 Theo 12.10.08 at 8:13 pm

I like to bake cookies. Cookies are fun and tasty and comforting in cold weather. If it were practical to bake just one or two at a time, to have with meals, I would, but it’s not like pouring a glass of milk. It’s just much easier to bake a whole bunch together in a beeeeyyyyyyaaaaattttcccchhh.

50 Theo 12.10.08 at 8:14 pm

[crickets]

51 belphebe 12.10.08 at 8:15 pm

Two things about slang/rapper terms: (1) I was surprised to hear ‘beeyatch’ used in a primetime TV program a couple years ago, since I didn’t think swear words were allowed on the regular networks. It fit the situation, but was still surprising.

(2) I read a news article a few months ago about “little old ladies” in some city that are deliberately using the horrible slang that some of the “younger generation” use in the hopes that it will get the kids to stop using such terrible language/grammar. After all, it’s just not ‘cool’ to say some words if your grandmother also says them!

As for Mr. Hewitt here, can someone please send him to my dentist’s office in January? I have to go in for a cleaning anyway and I’d love the company!

52 Jessica 12.10.08 at 8:15 pm

He’s ADORABLE!!!

53 belphebe 12.10.08 at 8:17 pm

@Theo: LOL! I love it!

(and probably thought that people were mispronouncing ‘batch’ the first time I heard the word.)

54 Jezebel 12.10.08 at 8:26 pm

Mmmm…a fresh baked beeeeyyyyyyaaaaattttcccchhh of cookies…

55 Theresa 12.10.08 at 8:44 pm

Crank the Johnny Cash!

56 werkan 12.10.08 at 8:45 pm

Haha… great commentary!

Cute pup!

57 Elaine 12.10.08 at 8:52 pm

How come dogs always look like they’re smiling? cats look grumpy.

58 Boomer's Babysitter 12.10.08 at 9:15 pm

Even though I’m not a fan of that particular slang, it seems to fit a Beverly Hills dog, somehow. Maybe it’s a BH doc I know that makes me think that way. Who knows, maybe he lurks around this site or is hiding behind a clever nom-de-intertubes…

59 Trabb's Boy 12.10.08 at 9:17 pm

Belphebe — that is hysterical about the old ladies. I noticed I keep my mouth shut about the alternative music I like around my neices and nephews, for fear of rubbing the cool off those bands.

Thank goodness for things like cute, that can be shared by everyone!

‘cept nuffers.

BTW, Mr. Hewitt’s little tongue has just kilt me ded.

60 scooterpants 12.10.08 at 9:20 pm

if you’all saw my pommie your heads would ES-plode!
anyway, about the little tail-io.
their tails are kinda like kinky little piggie tails (and so, the usual fluffage(pom) on the end and the look of it curling over their backs)
its not the most pleasing look to shave the tail hair real close, but this little guy is so dang cute, I think the tail can be forgiven.
If i could take my pommie to the dentist with me, I would probably go, once in a while.
i hate the dentist.

61 beyaaaaaaaaatch 12.10.08 at 9:21 pm

Dear Jenny et al.,

Incorporating such “foul language” in one’s vernacular is often a way to reduce some of the negative effects it has on society, especially when one chooses to spin it into a positive or humourous light. Using a word that is used negatively against you (say, using the word “bitch” when you are a woman) takes the power out of the word, and changes it’s meaning. A female saying “I’m hanging out with my bitches” is like saying “I like spending time with my female friends, and although you may have a negative view of us, we have just as much right as you do to use this word, and just as much right as you do to exist.”

If you don’t want to use “foul language,” that’s fine. Just don’t expect other people to stop using it. There are no fixed meanings for words, and over time the things that were once considered to be inappropriate have lost all of their meaning and power, and new words have come to take their place. This is what will happen to the term “bitch,” eventually.

62 Paunchie 12.10.08 at 9:24 pm

I wish everyone would quit their batching!

[Sonuva... - Ed.]

63 Samantha 12.10.08 at 9:29 pm

I love eeeet! Definitely a better cut than the pom in the previous post.

64 Desdemona 12.10.08 at 9:36 pm

Ahem. Here’s what “bitch” stands for:

Being In Total Control of Herself

. . . and proud of it!

65 Beeyatch2 12.10.08 at 9:37 pm

Oh, and regardless of the chosen pronunciation, a female dog is a bitch…let’s not forget the actual meaning of the word, peeps. And like when someone calls a chihuaua “Killer” or a Great Dane “Tiny”, picturing an absolutely adorable bear/dog Pomeranian saying “beeeyatch” is silly and funny. If only everyone had the same sense of humor. *sigh*

66 pyrit 12.10.08 at 9:50 pm

Words evolve, peeps evolve, but not simultaneously.

67 Paunchie 12.10.08 at 9:52 pm

It’s like that picture of Knut with his paw up and the caption saying “what’s up my b*tches!” … that one got mixed reviews too!

68 Gail (the first one) 12.10.08 at 10:09 pm

I’ve always been a Looney Toons fan, never Disney…..personally, I don’t care for the “beeeyaatch” term but I just ignore it. Not everything blows everyone’s dress up!!

69 Theresa 12.10.08 at 10:15 pm

(Sigh) Not taking a stand for or against the b-word, but I’ve noticed on the Internets the fastest way to cause a proliferation of a word or expression you object to,is make a big thing about objecting to it. If you are likely to get panties in a bunch, the Internets will gladly bunch them for you.

70 AuntieMame 12.10.08 at 10:19 pm

To be honest, I don’t like to hear “bitch” or “beeyotch” or “beeyatch” or any of of the other alternative pronunciations/spellings, either. But you have to pick your battles, and to me a private blog (which is what this is) isn’t really the place to be fighting it.

71 berthaservant 12.10.08 at 10:28 pm

I’m more the type to decry the gratuitous use of profanities/epithets, and I agree that we need to instruct ourselves (as well as future generations) that language should not be used as a weapon.

However, in this case, I am more supportive of the blog’s intent to obviously parody the excessive use of a particular epithet (the extended “b” word) for satirical purposes. Any potential punitive interpretation of the word, as has been pointed out by others, is undermined by the fact that such an epithet would be entirely unexpected from such a delicate, cute little creature. Further, the literal meaning of the original epithet (the B word), underscores the irony to an even more pronounced extent.

I take offense at the implication that EITHER of the terms questioned by a previous poster — the extended b word and the phrase “knocked up” — are somehow “so prevalent lately,” as if the equation between sex, violence, and language is something that is a product of our own time or our own minds. In fact, the use of language to describe/inscribe power relations between the sexes is an ancient as the social order itself, and we are in fact MORE liberated in our use of language in so many ways. There is now more awareness than ever before about the problematic relationship between power and violence (against women, children, minorities, the poor, etc.), and we have a greater understanding than ever as to how our use of language can inform people’s actions and opinions.

Thus, the use of this epithet — in a clearly satirical context, in the context of a FANTASY, no less, where no real person is called a bad name — is most certainly NOT offensive. It is liberating, tearing the power of the sometimes harmful word away from those who would use it to inflict pain.

Personally, I never use that word (even in its extended form) because I do find it problematic. But that does not mean I am incapable of recognizing its satirical use in the speech of others.

[We *are* talking about "bleen", right? - Ed.]

72 Jbo 12.10.08 at 10:44 pm

Man – I don’t know how I ended up w/a 15 lbs pom (who is only little overweight). They are master and commanders!! I love their little faces, especially when they were little pups!

73 Alexis 12.10.08 at 11:10 pm

My middle name is Hewitt. Now I feel special. I’d like a cookie, please.

Or maybe a whole beeyyyaaaatch of cookies.

74 berthaservant 12.10.08 at 11:39 pm

Yes, teho, and the extended form, bleen-a-reema-ree-no.

75 nixified 12.11.08 at 12:06 am

I MUST NOM HIS TINY EARSES AT ONCE

76 Mel2 12.11.08 at 1:04 am

Hm, another dentist with a furry assistant! My dentist has a golden retriever there all the time, which I love. I don’t mind smelling his doggy breath while I get my cleaning.

77 littledogrescue 12.11.08 at 1:39 am

Wait — Isn’t this Mr. Winkle in an overcoat?

78 newlee 12.11.08 at 2:05 am

cool: i’m just now due for a cleaning. i don’t think a 3000 mile trip is too bad for quality dental work, at all.

79 Minya 12.11.08 at 2:14 am

berthaservant- What you said.

80 Serena 12.11.08 at 2:31 am

so fuzzyyyyy! LOVE.

81 Em (the 1st) 12.11.08 at 2:34 am

I ♥ Berthaservant. Always so well spoken :)

Oh and I ♥ Mr Hewitt too. Dont usually like lil yappy doggies but he seems special :)

Very funny/cute post! :)

82 Vampy 12.11.08 at 2:47 am

Ah Berthaservant, once again you have proven the WHY of why us CO folks just love and adore you! You say it better than anyone!

(and frankly, *I* am long sick and tired of people coming in and whining and complaining constantly. It ruins teh Interwebs.)

83 pompom 12.11.08 at 3:52 am

Where is this dentist office?! Please tell us! I live in the area and need a check up.

84 scooterpants 12.11.08 at 4:07 am

are ya’all still beefin about the bitch word. ya gotta be kiddin me?
when there is so much cute to be had, ya just have to try to ruin it dont ya.
now ya’all stop it now, and simmer down and just settle yourselves now…
ok then, isnt that better then. deep breathes. in and out… in and out…
iz better now , no?

85 pixelthinker 12.11.08 at 4:38 am

Ya know what that is? :)

Ya take the word “fluffy”

…and the word “fuzzy”

Ya get “FLUZZY!” :) :) :)

That is one FLUZZY pup! :)

86 mike d 12.11.08 at 5:14 am

Hearing you Vampy…i wuz all set to bask in random mad propages for what i thot was my way-too-kewl-4-skool comments about unauthorized scritching of the dogbear noggin and said dogbear’s dean scream impresh. Alas i landed in the middle of a flamewar on teh intarwebz.

sigh. i now retire to bedlam.

87 Subhangi 12.11.08 at 5:28 am

[mooshes face into puppeh fur]

88 Patty P 12.11.08 at 6:08 am

Theo, you made me giggle out loud. TWICE!

I lubs yoo! – in a sort of friendly, anonymous sort of way…

89 Shaz 12.11.08 at 6:23 am

It’s time to resignify problem words — so I think we should use a BEEYAAAATCH of cookies as the new collective noun. Hail Berthaservant.

I had a good laugh reading these comments…

There are bigger battles, people… than in this blog.

90 Janni 12.11.08 at 6:57 am

I just need to kiss that widdle guy’s forehead. Now.

91 jen 12.11.08 at 8:01 am

darn it, that puppy is just too darn cute….. cant make any comments except i wannna sqweeze him!!!!!!!!!

92 ratchic 12.11.08 at 9:15 am

I really like his hair cut. Its more befitting of a boy pup. The usual pom is so uncut and fluffy, way fluffy.

93 Barbarella von Fluffenstein 12.11.08 at 10:13 am

That puppy IS the embodiment of *cute overload*. I iz ded. :)

94 Karyn 12.11.08 at 3:40 pm

Must… Squish…

95 mberkie0 12.11.08 at 3:46 pm

Anyone else just want to run their fingers through this pupster’s coat, over and over and over and over and over….

96 ronan 12.11.08 at 4:00 pm

I’m from the Philippines, i can attest to the veracity of his second-place win.

97 Katrina 12.11.08 at 5:12 pm

Very wise choice to use the soft focus lens, to hid any embarrasing tiny lines and crow’s feet wrinkles. It must be some portfolio!

98 Hayley 12.11.08 at 6:39 pm

Thank you Theo.
I was doing perfectly fine with my soup for lunch, until I started reading the commments on this anerable puppy.
Now I have to go down to the lobby and get some cookies.
Harumphs.

99 Elisha B. 12.11.08 at 8:44 pm

My sweet tooth hurts from all the cute!!!

100 bree 12.12.08 at 4:25 pm

:)

101 totalee puppy 12.13.08 at 2:40 am

Alexis–Love beeeyyyaaaatch
of cookies.

102 anner 12.13.08 at 4:07 am

bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. beyaatch. bizzaaaatch!

103 Dana 12.13.08 at 4:31 am

This puppeh is adorables.

BTW, the Nuffy McNuffersons should know by now that Meg has an awesome/edgy sense of humor and if they don’t like it, maybe they should just look at the pics and not read the text. Leave the captions for the rest of us to enjoy.

104 winston 12.14.08 at 4:54 pm

cute dog

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