Work That Mistletoe, Sister!

All right, ladies!  The Yuletide season is upon us, and that means plenty of holiday parties with cute guys, dark hallways — and lots and lots of mistletoe!  Keep your lips lively this Christmas with these time-honored mistle-tips:

  • Be casual.  Don’t stand directly under the mistletoe; that looks desperate.  Stand just enough to one side so that you look like you just happen to be there.
  • Adopt a mysterious, far-away gaze, as if you were standing alone on a moonlit shore, yearning for your lover on the far horizon.
  • Purse your lips ever so slightly — not too much to be obvious, but enough to encourage him to make that first move.

CORRECT TECHNIQUE:

Take me now, and we will fly as one to a realm of bliss and enchantment.

INCORRECT TECHNIQUE:

HHHHEEEEEYYY, SUGAR BUNS -- WANNA SUCK FACE?

Thanks to the oh-so-kissable Ash for the instructional photos.

Comments

  1. Cheeky monkey!

  2. warrior rabbit says:

    Heck, even *I* want to kiss that top one! What a cutie.

    They’re both having bad hair days, though.

  3. compy-saur says:

    Orangutans are the best :) There’s something about them. I don’t know what it is, but I love it.

  4. berthaservant says:

    Odds are this mienkeh will get a lot more action than me.

  5. biscuithead says:

    Aw heck, that’s cute.

    Look into those beautiful eyes.

  6. aw just a little shave maybe and a touch of lipstick, yeah…

  7. Awww!! LOL gosh thats hilarious! Teehee @ Sugar buns!!!!

  8. So I missed the label “Correct Technique” over the first one, and thought it was the only picture there was. Went “oh what a cute orang,” scrolled down to click on the comments link.

    “Incorrect Technique”!

    Just about fell over laughing, I did.

  9. Love the mad hair do.

  10. Ohhhhh, she’s precious!

    Reminds me of the stuffed monkey I had when I was little. Same long, soft hair. I used to love petting her. I miss my monkey.

    :( Wah.

  11. Chinchillazilla says:

    Awwww.

    I must go to the wrong holiday parties though, because none of them ever have mistletoe.

  12. I think the top monkey is the definition of ‘prosh’ and the bottom monkey well…isnt (Looks like the same monkey after a few Gin and Tonics) :p

  13. whoops ape* please dont hit me librarian ooook

  14. Charlie, I was thinking the same thing… first was at the beginning of the office Christmas party and the second was after imbibing @ the office Christmas party. She’s probably going to make photocopies of her tocks and make out with Randy in the mail room next :)

  15. Back to the library, Librarian! OOK! Just right, Charlie!

  16. So cute… want to hug

  17. Gail (the first one) says:

    Ah, the days of making a fool of myself at the office party!! Thank God those days are over—LOL!!!

  18. NTMTOM, you’ve been reading “Cosmo Primate,” haven’t you?

  19. Kristabelle says:

    1st picture looks like Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen!!!!!

    LOVE the 2nd picture!!!

  20. OMG! I knew I was doing something wrong! Thanks for setting me straight!

  21. I’m not being snarky – does anyone else think the first monkey picture kind of looks like George W Bush? C’mon, who’s with me?

  22. Chanpon, I was thinking Shirley MacLaine myself… maybe she was an orangutan in a former life?

  23. Just Passing Through says:

    Chanpon–I do see the resemblance. It’s something about her mouth.

  24. Second gal needs to go to a dentist…or at least invest in a little floss! No wonder the frog won’t kiss her.

  25. I want to know the story behind this bebeh… what is an orang doing posing for sexy pics in the South?!?! (azaleas!)

  26. biscuithead says:

    @Charlie

    Nice Pratchett reference!

    /Offer her a banana + she just might forgive you.

    /oook oook!

  27. Snicker..

    and Berthaservant Nice Pink Panther Ref.

  28. Hahahaha @suck face! Think I’ll try that line out on my boyfriend LOL ;-)
    Such a cute ape :) (the one in the pics, duh)

  29. Mary (the first) says:

    I sure wish I’d had these tips back when I was young and foolish .. I might not be single now.. dang. Doesn’t flower over right ear mean “married” though? Maybe *that* was the mistake I was making! Everyone thought I was taken! ha

  30. Second pic makes me LOL SO HARD!!! Love a surprise scroll-down.

  31. That slut.

  32. scooterpants says:

    ah! my favorite primate!
    (not so much dressed in clothes) but cute none the less.

  33. As I have been perusing orthodontic forums all morning up ’til now, I am left wondering. . .
    Does that Sugar Buns orang have some fillings in her monkeh teef?

  34. totalee puppy says:

    any advice for guys on making that first move?
    like, what can I say?

  35. All right, little brother…first make a little small talk, like, is she enjoying the party…If you’ve got a small camera, you can show her the images, arrange to bring her prints…Ask,
    “Is that mistletoe?” “Are you sure?” “Want to try it out?” That’s all I got…

  36. You saay, “your leeps are like unlike any leeps I’ve ever keesed!” and that would be the truth! we hope!

  37. I dunno, I totally saw Edward Scissorhands in the first picture :)

  38. LoL! That’s awesome, it’s like so cute, and funny!

  39. I just hope they are girls when I give a SWAK

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,975 other followers